She stared at him. He stared back, his head swiveling wildly from side to side, obviously looking for someone or something which was no longer there.
“Oh,” he snarled, in an oddly high-pitched voice. “You nasty little bitch. You had better not be telling me that you just summoned me!”
He fell back dramatically, his forearm over his eyes. “No one is ever going to believe this!”
“You’re a genie,” she said flatly, fifteen minutes later.
The strange man had just finished a rather comprehensive breakdown, which she had barely been able to keep from becoming a full-scale screaming fit. The gods only knew what her parents might think if, drawn by his shouts, they had burst into her bedroom to find a naked man there. Just the thought made her want to die of potential embarrassment.
He flapped a hand at her. “Guilty.”
“I thought you guys were stuck in lamps, not necklaces.”
The man shook his head. “Oh, gurl, you are so wrong. First of all, those are fire djinn.” He shuddered in mock distaste. “Nasty, unpleasant brutes. No sense of fun at all. I’m a water djinn, and we’re ever so much nicer.”
She could see a fire djinn being trapped in a lamp, but…”Water? From a gold necklace?”
Carefully, as if he were wary of touching the necklace itself, he shifted the cloth it was lying on, light dancing off it like ripples in a stream. “See?”
“Yeah, I guess.”
“And we’re not trapped in the lamp, or the necklace, or whatever. We’re merely bound to it.”
“Huh?”
“Such eloquence,” he sniped. “Typical. Djinn are not trapped within an object, human child. We are bound to it. Do you think a being such as myself would consent to be stuck in a smelly oil lamp for decades, subject to the whims of a bunch of jumped-up primates? No. I am bound to the necklace you are holding, mortal girl, the same way my other cousins, the ones who could not avoid it, are bound to lamps and candelabra and rings and vases. Once, long ago, a distant ancestress of yourself tricked me and bound me to this necklace. Though she was decent enough to not ask too much of me.”
“How did she do it?” Despite the impossibility of the situation, she found herself fascinated. “My name is Shanaya, by the way.”
“Charmed,” the genie muttered sourly.
“And what’s your name?”
“Hah!” His black eyes snapped at her. “I am bound to the necklace already. Do you think I am going to give you even more power over me? Now, I am your servant. But I have no desire to be your slave.”
She blinked, remembering half-heeded tales told by her father’s parents when her family visited them in India. Of sorcerers and heroes and the unexpected luck of youngest sons. Memory flipped a card over, and she read it. “Names have power.”
A slow clap. “Bravo. And why in the name of the seven netherhells did you summon me now?” His voice took on a petulant tinge. “And just when I was going to finally get my mouth around the most gorgeous cock in the astral plane! I’ve been trying to get in his pants for centuries and you had to go and spoil everything!”
Shanaya nearly choked. “What? You’re gay? A gay genie?”
He scowled at her. “Oh, great. And now I have to deal with a bigot, too?” He waved his fingers mockingly. “Are you scared I’m going to infect you with my horrible gay cooties?”
“No, no, nothing like that!” she protested quickly. “I’m…I’m a lesbian! So I’m actually kind of glad you’re gay. Though I’d be a lot happier if you put some pants on, if you don’t mind.”
“You’re a lesbian? Awesome!” The genie leaped to his feet and bounded towards her. “Gay high-five, girlfriend!”
She lifted a hand and their palms clapped together. With a whirl of color, clothes appeared on the genie’s form. A peach-colored cashmere sweater, faded, tastefully-torn blue jeans, a pair of loafers, and a silky pastel scarf around his neck.
“Now,” he said, leaning against her bookcase. “What can I do for you, o my mistress?”
Right. Genies grant wishes. But…”First of all, I need to get everything straight.” She chewed her lip. “And I can’t go on calling you…you. Especially if you’re not going to tell me what your real name is. Not that I’m asking you to,” she added hastily. “How about…Gene?”
“Gene?” He rolled his eyes dramatically. “I suppose I can live with that. Gene. Fine.”
“And how many wishes do I get? Three?”
“Three?” Gene scoffed. “Girlfriend, that was centuries ago. You have to keep up with the times. Haven’t you ever heard of inflation? You get lots more than that. But first, I have to lay out the rules.”
She nodded. “Okay.”
“Rule one: No wishing for more wishes. That is total bullshit. Also, you don’t get to banish me and then summon me with a fresh set. You start with a finite number, and that’s all you get until you banish me permanently or you die. Got it?”
She nodded.
Gene ticked off a second point on his fingers. “Next rule. No murder, violence, or emotional or psychological torture. We’re kinder, gentler djinn, these days. You want to knock off your older sister so you can marry the sultan’s son instead of her, you better take care of that yourself.”
“Um…how long have you been away from Earth, anyway?”
He ignored her. “Third. I can give advice, if you ask for it. But I’m not going to volunteer information if you’re going to do something spectacularly stupid.” He grinned, sharklike, and she shivered. “Watching humans fuck things up is half the fun.
“Any questions?”
She swallowed. The thought was monstrous, but she couldn’t help asking. “There’s…there’s this girl.”
“Oh?” Gene cocked an eyebrow. “Cute?”
“Gorgeous!”
“And let me guess. She doesn’t even know you exist, right? You’ve been pining your heart out for her for years, wanting one glance from her smoldering eyes, one kiss from her glistening lips?”
“No! We’re best friends!”
“Best friends. Sure. And you want me to change her sexuality so she’ll desire you? Or maybe just a simple love spell?” His look was disgusted, as if he had found a cockroach in his morning cereal, and she hung her head in shame. “Fuck and no. We can’t take away free will. No potions, spells, hypnosis, or any of that crap. You want this girl in bed, you better find a better way to do it.”
Her heart, which had leapt with horrified hope a few seconds ago, crashed back into her belly. But… “What if it was my choice? You wouldn’t be taking away her free will then.”
“Your choice? What are you talking about?”
The thought was so audacious it took her breath away. She swallowed, cold sweat breaking out on the back of her neck. “Could you…could you turn me into a man?”
Gene stared at her, the silence in the room stretching out until she was quivering like a string. “That’s more than stupid. It’s insane.”
“And you,” she replied, glad for once of college professors who challenged her wits, “Aren’t answering the question.”
“It’s still insane. You care for her that much? You’d erase your entire identity for her?”
“I love her!” It burst out of her in a flood. “I’ve loved her since I was a little girl! And now…and now she’s going to marry this complete asshole who is going to ruin her life, and there’s nothing I can do to stop it!