Carol cocked her head. “Are you offering to work off your debt?” She pursed her lips in contemplation and shrugged as if it was a possibility. “I may be open to some kind of community service arrangement in leu of your fine payment, I suppose.”
“Community service?” I was already envisioning the humiliation of having to sweep the streets or something, as if I was on day-release from prison. That wasn’t at all what I’d envisioned when I’d bought my new home, but everything seemed to be going tragically wrong. Still, having to do that for an hour was better than having to dip into my emergency fund. “What kind of community service?” I figured that if it was something reasonable, then it might be worth it. Something along the lines of changing a tyre, but something I was actually capable of doing. Especially with the way she’d framed it, maybe I could offer some of my skills to the local children, perhaps arrange some fun activity in the communal park area.
Carol had slotted one arm of her sunglasses between her teeth while she thought, before her eyes wandered around her garden. “Well, I suppose my grass could do with cutting.” She then nodded towards the trees along the rear fence line. “There’s a lot of leaves that need raking, and some have blown into the pond water.”
“You want me to clean your yard?” I asked in surprise. “I thought you meant…do something for the community, not just for you.”
Immediately, Carol’s eyes shot to me in a scowl. “Are you suggesting I’m being selfish? Because I was actually considering a way out for you that didn’t involve a financial penalty. That’s the thank you I get for my generosity? You twist my kindness as if I’m trying to personally profit from your labour?”
“No, no…” I said anxiously. I was on the verge of finding a solution to my predicament and I didn’t want to blow it at the final hurdle. “I wasn’t suggesting that. I was just surprised. I’d be happy to clean your yard in exchange for the fine being written off.” I had a quick look around her garden and it really wasn’t that bad. She obviously did a pretty good job herself looking after it.
“Well, don’t let me stop you then,” she said, with another casual swing of her foot. I could see she was enjoying tormenting me, despite her expression remaining neutral. “It’s not going to clean itself, is it? If you do a good job, then I’ll waive your fine.”
“What? Now?” I asked in surprise. I was hardly dressed for gardening duty; decked out in a blouse, shorts and my favourite boots.
“It’s entirely your choice,” she said. “Don’t act like I’m forcing you to do anything. You can just pay off the fine and we’re good. If you choose to work instead of paying it, well, that’s up to you.” She signalled with her head towards the rear shed. “There’s tools and gloves and stuff back there. I’m sure if you put some real effort in you can have it finished within an hour.”
The thought of this all being brought to conclusion within an hour was most welcoming. “Yes, ma’am,” I said, and I even offered a moronic salute, as if trying to lighten the mood.
Carol just had this way of talking in a constant patronising manner and barking out unreasonable demands and orders as if she was a drill sergeant. On the face of it, I knew that cleaning her yard in exchange for the cancellation of a fine, one I didn’t even deserve, was ridiculous. But, this was the situation I found myself in, and I lamented the fact I hadn’t kept schtum about the party I was having. That first day when she’d shown up, I should have just brushed her away, but I had to go ahead and front up to her, didn’t I? Perhaps this was all a punishment for my petulance. I mean, I was the one that had called her a Karen straight to her face, hadn’t I? I’d figured I could show her that I didn’t care about her self-imposed authority, but evidently, I was completely out of my depth and now I was about to clean her frickin’ yard while she lay around enjoying the sun.
Carol shook her head dismissively at me, clearly finding no amusement in my behaviour. “Just get on with it and stop bothering me.”
I gulped at the audacity of her, and the way she casually gave me instructions as if I was the hired help. It was such a strange feeling, to be attempting to please a woman like her. She was a Karen, there was no denying it, and Karens were fucking annoying. Everyone knew that. They were a constant source of amusement as they ranted and raved about some imaginary injustice they’d been forced to undergo. You know, like smoke from a BBQ from across the other side of a gated community. But, Carol wasn’t being mocked, was she? She was laying back without a care in the world, and instead, it was me that was going to be the subject of mockery. I mean, people were going to see me working in her garden, weren’t they? Her yard was right next to the security gate, so whenever someone drove in, the first thing they’d see was Carol reading with her feet up, while I was cutting and raking the grass. Those who didn’t know me would probably figure I was her employee or something.
I gulped at the thought of that, considering I was basically doing this unpaid. Yes, it was to wipe off a fine, but that was an injustice in the first place. I’d basically been trapped into working for Carol’s benefit, taking care of her yard while she’d fined me for having fun in my own!
I grabbed some shears and a rake from her shed, and then came back out to the garden. Carol was still sprawled out on the lounger, and busy reading her book, sat in comfort with her feet up relaxing. I looked over at her and was suddenly overcome by an intense feeling of contempt. It was so damn unfair, but she appeared to have no remorse at all for what she was about to make me do. She was just going to lay there and chill out while a girl twenty years her junior cleaned her yard for her. It wasn’t as if I was doing it voluntarily either to help out an aging woman. I was pretty much being forced against my will, but evidently, that didn’t mean diddly squat to her. She’d even framed it like it was my own choice, that it was my fault for not paying a fine I so clearly deserved.
I couldn’t believe she didn’t even have a lawnmower too, so I was forced to hunker down and begin snapping at the blades of grass with the blunt shears, all the while cursing and grunting to myself.
“Make sure you get every corner,” she called out from the comfort of her lounger. “Get right in there. Right up against the bricks. I don’t want to see any mess or bits of unkempt grass left over. If you’re going to do this in leu of your fine, then you better do a good job.”
I grit my teeth and ignored her, my lower back already hurting as I scraped the shears up against the bricks in my attempt to get every blade of grass puffing out. My blouse was already sticking to my skin from the sweat of effort, and my boots were caked in mud, but apparently, that meant nothing to Carol.
“Did you hear me?” she called out.
“Yes,” I said back in a rather short manner. “I heard you.”
“Is that how you’re speaking to me now, is it? When I give you an opportunity to work your way out of your penalty.” She blew a petulant raspberry with her lips. “I’ve never allowed anyone else to do this. They all accept they were in the wrong and pay their fines immediately. You should be a bit more appreciate of the chance I’ve given you.” She shook her head and continued reading her book.
I stopped mid-cut with the shears as her ludicrous musings grated at me. I should be grateful for being allowed to clear up her yard? Her arrogance and entitlement were ridiculous, but I guess it wasn’t unexpected with her self-importance. I mean, she felt like she had the right to interfere in everyone’s homes and choices, and now she felt like she had the right to order me around. Still, her words just had a way of twisting things, almost like she was an expert at gaslighting and making me feel bad. I knew she was full of shit too, since my neighbour had told me all about the tyre incident. But I just wanted to get the work done, clear the fine, and get the hell out of there. Mostly, I just didn’t want to hear her annoying voice anymore. “I’m sorry, ma’am,” I said, hoping to put an end to her exhausting monologue. “I heard you, ma’am.” The sarcasm was obvious within my own head.
“Good,” she said while turning the page; her toes wiggling at the end of the lounger as she stretched them out and gripped at the material. “Now, stop bothering me and do your work. The garden isn’t going to take care of itself.”
I turned back to her, astonished once more that I was being made out to be the bother, but this time, I bit my tongue, instead feeling a warm flush flow through me at being spoken to in such a belittling way. It cut straight through to my pride, and it angered me immensely that I wasn’t able to retort or defend myself. I felt trapped, and unable to adequately defend myself, fearing that any witty riposte would only worsen my plight. Instead, something inside me made me respond to such arrogance with deference. “Yes, ma’am,” I said, and immediately I was overcome by a warm and fuzzy sensation that made me involuntarily flinch in a shudder. It felt so wrong to address someone you disliked with that level of respect, but I felt like I had no choice. I felt like I’d been backed into a corner.
Her behaviour was deathly offensive to me, and pretty much represented the arrogant selfishness and belief of every Karen I’d ever seen on the internet and all those I’d encountered first hand. At work, I’d go along with their complaints, because I was being paid. Yet, now I was suffering one where I lived and I was no longer reacting in the way I’d expect. Instead of recording her while she embarrassed herself with her immature, petulant demands, and sharing it for the world to laugh at, here I was praising her for it and following her demanding instructions. Despite it killing me inside, I was still crouched down and tending to her lawn while replying to her with respect. The more I thought about it, and how I had no choice, the more unfair it felt, and the warmer and more anxious I became. “Yes, ma’am,” I said again without even thinking, as if to test the waters of my body’s reaction; a feeling of shame immediately ripping through my pride. I saw in my periphery vision that Carol had glanced up from her book, her eyes squinting at my inconvenience of bothering her read instead of doing my apparent new job.
Will there a part 2?