DP Hermione: Harry Potter Parody by sandstorm3636

“Wait, I don’t have to leave. We could have a threesome. I want to be stuffed airtight so I can’t breathe,” she sputtered. Harry eyed her up and down, half with interest and half with disgust. He saw her panties still dangling off her left leg and grabbed them. She was confused until he wadded them up and shoved them in her mouth.

“There, airtight,” he scoffed. “Take a cold shower, and come back when you can think with your brain again instead of your pussy. When you least expect it, we may show you a good time again, but only if we feel like it. You need to learn moderation.”

Harry was genuinely feeling like they might have wrecked Hermione. She was a nerdy girl with little options for sex unlike some of the more popular sluts in their grade like Lavender Brown. Her first time was too much for her and she seemed worried it wouldn’t happen again. He kissed her forehead before snapping his fingers, sending his broomstick away with a single command.

Hermione took one pass by the girls’ dorm before concluding she would not be able to sneak inside, at least while naked. Instead, she landed Harry’s broom on the outskirts of the grounds near Hagrid’s hut. She was shaking and wobbling from having the slender hard wood of the broom digging into her cunt the whole time. Before she even got to the door, she squatted down in the pumpkin patch to relieve her bladder.

When Hagrid opened his door to see who was knocking so late in the evening, he was met with the sight of a blushing girl, naked except for her socks, with her bare chest thrust forward due to her fiddling with her hands behind her back. “Not interested,” he scoffed and went to shut the door.

“Wait, I need something to wear back to the castle,” she stopped him. He frowned but let her enter the hut. He did not have any girl’s clothing but he did have something like a vest she could wear as a dress due to their difference in size.

“Are ya gonna to tell me what ‘appened?” he asked as she got dressed.

“Ron and Harry jumped me,” she admitted almost too giddily. “I can’t believe they’re actually interested in a girl like me that way. They’re both so amazing. Ron is tall and handsome, looking more like Bill every day and Harry is the famous boy who lived. Why would either of them like me? I feel like a princess.”

“Cuz yer a girl and by the looks of ya, yer easy. The way ya showed up at my door, I coulda dragged ya inside and had meown way with ya before ya even ‘ad time to explain yourself.”

“If I’m bothering you, please feel free to use me too. I won’t mind. I’m actually a little curious what a giant’s penis feels like. Is it harder or just bigger?”

“Who says I’m a giant?” Hagrid took offence. “Ya know any giants smaller than a building?”

“Hagrid, I’ve read enough to know the signs. You’re like half or quarter or something, but you are definitely a giant. Come on, show me what it looks like. I’m actually kinda craving it now.”

“Stop right there, missy. I get you yungins can be ‘orny, but yer makin’ a mistake.”

“Please, you must be desperate for a little attention. When was the last time a student offered to sleep with you? Am I really that ugly?”

Hagrid sighed loudly. “Ya know ‘arry and Ron don’t think yer ugly at all. I’m scruffier than you for sure. But I’m also sixty. I don’t ‘ave any interest in a yungin like you.”

“Are you sure? You’ve never wondered if you could split a small human girl with your massive dick? Don’t worry; I know a spell that can fix me up if you hurt me too bad. You don’t even have to fuck me if you don’t want to. Just put it in once. I really want to know if you’ll leave me more gaping than Ron or Harry.”

“I think ya need to get some sleep. The ‘ermione I know would be shocked at the words comin out o’ yer mouth. Trus’ me, don’t make a decision ya can’ take back tomorrow. When you’ve slept off whatever this is, will ya even be able to look yer 2 best friends in the eyes? Please don’ be too mad at them for not bein’ able to control themselves around ya. They are ‘orny teens like yourself. They don’ have the control of a man who has trouble finding a girl that can stand him.”

“I’m not mad at them, why would I be mad?” Hermione crossed her arms.

“Ya seem like yer totally fine with what happened, but it don’ sound like it was all yer idea. I just want ya not ta get too upset when you’ve had a chance to stop blamin’ yourself and start blamin’ the 2 of ‘em. It sounds like they really love you, even if they showed you in the worst way. Please, give ‘em a chance to make it up to ya. You don’t have to change your whole relationship with them just to be about sex. They aren’ gonna pounce on you every time they see you in class. All said; it might be a good idea not to be alone with ‘em for a while, until they can prove they can control their urges.”

Hermione still felt like Hagrid was being too cautious. She had definitely been into it at the end. It was Harry that kicked her out. On second thought, was Harry getting worried about her attitude too? Was she really acting that strange? Was she covering up her shame and humiliation by pretending to like it? She could not tell anymore.

Hagrid picked her up by the waist and set her on his shoulders. As a half Giant he looked like a father with his daughter. Hermione felt ashamed for having asked him if he wanted to use her too. Even if Hagrid was into younger women, there was no way he was interested in a friend of Harry’s that way. She even accused him of finding her ugly. Somehow the shame of how she acted toward Hagrid was outweighing everything shameful she had just done with Harry and Ron.

It was a quick walk from the grounds to the castle as Hagrid took massive strides. Hermione was silent the whole way. She had no idea how she planned to explain her attire and where she had been, but at least it would be easier than showing up naked and obviously from the boys’ dorm.

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