Phantom Phallus – The Completed Saga by CarnationWriting ,
Phantom limb syndrome is a condition in which patients experience sensations, whether painful or otherwise, in a limb that does not exist. It has been reported to occur in 80-100% of amputees, and typically has a chronic course, often resistant to treatment. But what happens when witchcraft, an over-eager 18-year-old boy, and a sexy crush get involved?
All characters are over 18 years old.
Popcorn scattered across the bed as Justin dodged the assault from his best friend, laughing. “Are you serious?” he spat playfully. “Throwing food? What are you, five?”
Trina laughed as she threw another handful of the overly-buttered mess at him. “That’s what you fucking get!”
“But it’s true!”
“Fairies are not stupid!”
“Yes they are!”
“They’re gonna kick your ass if you keep talking shit!”
A frustrated banging on the adjacent wall, from the room where Trina’s mom slept, brought their
playful argument down to low giggles. “You witches are fucking crazy,” Justin said softly, smiling as he shook his head.
“That was a stupid truth question,” Trina hissed back with a grin. “Meh, meh, are fairies real, bleh. Of course they’re fuckin’ real, dipshit.” She stuffed some popcorn in her mouth, muffled her words. “Your turn.”
“Eh, truth.”
Trina thought for a second, then swallowed her mouthful and grinned. “What’s the grossest, weirdest habit you have?”
“Fuck,” Justin said, blushing. He knew the answer, but he wasn’t sure he was ready to say anything, even to Trina. Maybe he could make something up. Maybe he could say he bites his toenails. He doesn’t wipe his ass. He uses dish soap as body wash. But this was Trina, his best friend since fifth grade. What could be so bad that he couldn’t tell her? Screw it. “So… you know that girl from Chem? Celeste Birch?” Trina nodded, and he took a deep breath. “I’ve had a crush on her since I started at Maymont. She’s gorgeous, and sweet, and smart as hell… she’s perfect.”
Trina rolled her eyes. “What does that have to do with -”
“I’m getting to that. Don’t interrupt,” Justin said with a nervous laugh. He hesitated, then sighed, lowering his head like a dog who’s just been caught stealing food. “Anyway, she’s fucking perfect. And I have this weird… habit… I can’t control it, I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but every time I talk to her, I kinda…” He looked up at her, making an outward gesture with his hands.
Trina tipped her head to the side, smiling as she raised an eyebrow. “What, you swim? You… explode? What, you what?” They both broke down laughing for a few minutes, until another bang on the wall silenced them.
“No,” Justin coughed when they’d settled down. “No, I, uh… cum, in my… pants.”
It had been happening since freshman year. Justin had chalked it up to be just another struggle of puberty or something. Every time he talked to Celeste, his dick would get harder and harder in his pants, and he’d hide it the best he could, using his pockets or a book or a subtle turn to the side. He’d do his best to concentrate on what she was saying, but those gorgeous blue eyes and that long, silky brown hair, and the smooth skin and pink pillow lips and the beautiful voice they emitted… It was all too much. He would grit his teeth and do his best to keep a straight face as he painted the inside of his jeans, and for the rest of the conversation, he could only be half-focused on her. Finally they’d finish talking, and he’d waste no time heading for the nearest bathroom, where he would check for stains and clean himself up, then spend a moment in rueful silence as he pondered why he was so uncontrollably disgusting.
So it continued, for the entirety of high school. It only happened a few times in freshman year, but as they progressed through Maymont High, Celeste and Justin had become good friends, and he struggled to keep a hold of himself. He’d hardly had any classes with her in the very beginning, but now he saw her often, and the issue had gotten much, much worse.
“Holy shit,” Trina breathed, giggling. “She can make you cream yourself just from a freakin’ conversation?”
“Shut up,” Justin said bashfully, his face turning cherry-red.
“No, no no no, I’m sorry,” Trina pleaded, hugging him. “I didn’t mean to make fun of you, it’s just… girls don’t really know we have that kind of… power?”
Justin groaned and fell backwards onto the bed. “Fuck off about power,” he said with a defeated laugh. “It’s embarrassing as hell. How would you feel if you squirted every time you talked to… I dunno, fuckin’… Alex Griffith?”
Trina giggled softly. “He’s hot, so I’d be fine with that.”
“The point is,” Justin interrupted, “it’s gross, and I don’t even know how to make it stop.”
Trina sat back on her knees, chewing on the inside of her cheek as she rifled through her own thoughts. “Well,” she murred after a moment, “there might be something I could do.”
“What?” Justin sat up so fast that he knocked over a bowl of M&Ms. “You can fix me?”
“Well, not fix you,” Trina said, standing up. “But I can help.” She made her way over to what Justin knew she called her “altar”, a small black desk in the corner draped with a soft black tablecloth. On it rested several candles of varying colors, a smoky tower-shaped crystal, and a silvery hardcover book. Trina picked this up and flipped through it, eventually stopping on a page roughly three-quarters through. Holding her place in the book, she returned to the bed and sat down on the edge, showing Justin the intricate twists and swirls spelling out a chapter title in magnificently royal font: Magical Dealings in Love and Sex.
“What even is this?” Justin tried to ask, but she silenced him and turned a few pages, finally landing on one and pointing to it. He sighed and read through what it said. At the top, in slightly less regal font, were the words Premature Ejaculation. Below that was a list of herbs and fruits, and several lines of pretty cursive.
Premature ejaculation is nothing a man should be ashamed of. However, if he chooses to amend this problem, the desired result may be achieved through a simple potion.
Combine the above ingredients in a pot of boiling water and set the intention for stability and grounding. This will be the basis for the magic to work. Stir clockwise forty times, then pour over a strainer and mix with one teaspoon of SEA salt and three tablespoons of sugar. Drink the potion before bed, and wait one week for results.
Warning: DO NOT EJACULATE WHILE WAITING FOR RESULTS. Consequences are IRREVERSIBLE.
“Perfect!” Justin cheered, his face lighting up. “That’s exactly what I need!”
“More or less,” Trina agreed. “I can modify it a little so it matches your, um… situation.” She glanced up from the book to peer at him suspiciously. “Are you sure you want this? I mean, a whole week without jacking off -”
“Shut up,” he said, grinning. “I can do it. Come on, please? Please?”
Trina smiled and rolled her eyes. “Alright, fine. It says to do it before bed, so let’s take care of it now and then hit the hay.”