“Hey.” I raised my head again to see her, as serious as ever, staring into my soul. “Don’t be ashamed. Be proud of what you did. I really like that you used your voice and stood up for something you believed in. It was the cherry on top that you’re defending me, as your teacher and your friend, like that.”
“Yeah, thanks.” I smiled.
“And don’t think twice about calling out boys who act like that. I hope that if you get a boyfriend in high school it’s because he’s genuinely nice to you, because he treats you well, and because you like spending time around him. If he pressured you or something, make sure to exercise your right to feel comfortable and safe.”
I felt a surge go through me. Panic, but like, a good panic. “Can I confess something to you?”
Ms. Wagner nodded. “Is it about this stuff? Go ahead.”
“I… don’t think it’ll be a boyfriend. I think I’m into girls.” I gingerly told her, practically grimacing at the worst-case-scenario response she’d give.
Instead, thankfully, she gave me a warm, reassuring smile. “Yeah? That’s awesome, Mina. Way to go. I’m proud of you for thinking about your feelings like that and accepting you might have different feelings.” She chuckled. “I could go on and on about heteronormativity too, but that’s a whole other topic.”
“Hetero-what?”
“Heteronormativity. It’s basically the idea that ‘straight’ is treated as ‘normal’ and for people attracted to other genders, like you might be, it can feel like you’re a freak or an outcast because you’re not conforming to the societal default.”
“Well, I mean, yeah. I had trouble even telling my best friend that I’m into girls, and even then she gave me this weird ‘ohh, don’t have a crush on me’ thing.” I admitted.
Ms. Wagner stared at me intently for a few seconds. The silence was ominous. “Hey. Can I tell you something, but ask it doesn’t leave this room?”
“Of course, yeah.” I instinctively replied.
“Okay. But I mean it, teachers shouldn’t talk about this kind of thing openly like this, but I think it’s important that you hear it. I’m, uh, bisexual, but I didn’t have my first girlfriend until college. And even then, it was kind of a ‘secret girlfriend’ thing. Like, I was still in the closet at the time. I was always too afraid to tell my parents. In high school, I was kind of like you, but I was too afraid of not being normal that I tried to tell myself I only liked boys, but only later I found out that I was kind of lying to myself to make myself feel better.”
My heart was beating really quickly. She was telling me she was bisexual. This was the next step. Yes. This was her telling me, ‘I’m into girls.’ This was happening. We were getting closer, and everything was lining up. This was too perfect.
“So, I really mean it when I say I’m proud of you, Mina. I’m really glad that you’re in touch with your feelings like this. And don’t let any of those boys out there, or your best friend, or anyone, make you feel like you don’t matter just because of who you love.”
“I won’t.” I practically beamed. This was definitely a sign. And Ms. Wagner was supporting me. She was loving me. This was what true love was like. She was supporting my dreams, my bisexual sexy supportive teacher. “Hey, Ms. Wagner?”
“Yes?”
“Could I… ask for a hug?” I asked.
She smiled warmly. Of course you can,” she told me, waiting for me to stand up then walking over to me, arms out.
She was a decent bit taller than me, I’d estimate around 5’10, taller than a lot of the boys, so my arms went under hers. Her scent was at its strongest during a hug, and oh my god, I couldn’t wait to get closer to her. If this was how my sexy teacher smelled with clothes on, then I couldn’t wait for her to shed those clothes and demand I come and please her.
She had this aura of sexiness to her. I wasn’t even sure if she was just a hugger and enjoyed being close to her friends, or if this was her trying to tell me something. Either way, she had told me she was into girls and gave me a hug. I knew I would be a little too busy to get my full eight hours of sleep tonight.
***
I was panting and sighing, two fingers deep into myself, arching my back. My eyes were closed – picturing I was on top of Ms. Wagner’s desk with her eating me out after I’d finished pleasing her, rather than just in my boring bedroom, on my boring bed.
I had gotten myself off twice that night but it just wasn’t enough – I wanted more. I always wanted more. I wanted her. I wanted her to sit on top of her desk, spread her beautiful legs and demand I get on my knees and make her feel good. I wanted her to lick my neck and tell me not to be nervous, my teacher would take care of me. I wanted her to dominate me, to tell me what a good little girl I was.
My phone rang, taking me out of my fantasy. I groaned in annoyance and slowly opened my eyes, taking my fingers out of myself and lazily wiping them on my bedsheets. I picked up the phone, looking at the screen – Lucy was calling. I rolled my eyes and hit the button. “Hey,” I softly began.
“Hey Mina,” Lucy’s voice replied. “Is now an okay time?”
“As okay a time as any,” I told her. “What’s up?”
“I, uh… so there’s no easy way to say something like this, but I just… wanted to talk to you.”
A look of confusion painted my face. “Wait, what? Did something bad happen?”
“No, no, I just… wanted to ask what’s been going on lately.”
“As in… ‘what have you been up to’ or ‘your attitude has changed’?” I inquired.
“The second one,” she flatly said. “I just… I dunno, I’m kinda noticing things about you. You’ve been kinda distant lately, we’re hardly having lunch together anymore and-”
“I told you, I’m just taking more lunches with Ms. Wagner now,” I explained. “It’s not like I’m ignoring you, I just need help with classes and stuff.”
“I know that, although that’s kinda weird too. I-”
“Weird? How’s it weird?” My tone lost its innocence.
Lucy gave a chuckle. “I mean, this has nothing to do with what I called ab- why I called, but you’re turning into a complete teacher’s pet. You’re spending almost every lunch period you can with her, you blew up in the caf telling a dude off for saying he had sex with your favorite teacher, and, come on Mina, you don’t need lunch lessons. You? I’d ask you about class stuff if we shared classes.”
“So… what, you think I’m going to lunch lessons to… hang out with her?”
“I mean, yeah, but that’s fine, it’s not l-”
“Well I’m not,” I quickly retorted. “Maybe this year I just don’t get this kind of class material. Maybe I’m dumb and I feel bad about it. Maybe it’s rude to just stick your nose where it doesn’t belong, Lucy.”
“Woah, girl. Chiiiiill,” Lucy hesitantly and awkwardly replied. “This isn’t even what I’m calling abo- okay, you know what? Ignore that stuff. I just want to know if I did something to piss you off or something. And with the way you responded, I kinda feel like I’m right.”
“I think you’re just being sensitive, if I can be honest,” I told her with no emotion. “I’m just becoming more independent. I’m sorry if I’m too busy at lunch for your liking, but I really want to learn this stuff and I’m just not getting it, oka-”