Deprived even of the ability to conceal my traitorous eyes, my shame deepens. I do not want to enjoy what he is doing to me, and that is especially true as I know Logan is watching.
His fingers reach my genitals. With a surprising gentleness, he takes everything into his hand, squeezing and releasing in a slow, steady rhythm, rubbing a finger now here, now there. I gasp at the pleasure of it, feeling that familiar twitch begin deep inside me. No! I try to fight it, try to relax whatever it is that causes this incredible pleasure. Yes, that is working. I can stop it, if I concentrate. I will not let him do this to me. I will not!
“You like this, don’t you?” he says, a sneer in his voice. “Sure you do. You’re nice and hard now. Keep it up, baby. Come for me. Show me how much you like what I’m doing. Show Jimmy how much you like it.”
No. He can go on as long as he wants massaging my cock and balls. I will ignore it. I will not come. I will relax. I will think of how much I hate his touch. I will concentrate on that, nothing else.
“Never,” I tell him through gritted teeth. I am about to tell him he can go to hell when I think of something that might be more useful. I switch to German. ”Fahr zur Hölle, du Hurensohn!”
“English, you mother-fucker! English!” His grip tightens, fingers digging into my scrotum.
This is not good. I want him to let me curse in German. How can I convince – Ah, I have it!
“Bitte, Victor – I mean, please — German is the language in vhich I think, and I revert to it automatically if I am stressed or in pain. I do not do it deliberately.”
“So you use that Kraut gibberish when you’re bad off, huh? OK, I can use that to know when I’m getting to you, in that case.”
I shake my head violently, as if I have only now realized I have given something away to him.
The smile he gives me is cunning and cruel.
“Too late, fairy boy. I already know. Besides, I strongly suspect you’re cursing me out, and you can’t insult me effectively if I don’t understand what you’re saying, can you now?”
I pretend to be dismayed and mutter, “Scheisse!”
“Ha! That one means ‘shit’. I’ve heard it before.”
I pretend to be even more dismayed, turning my head away from him as I stifle a laugh. I am not surprised that he knows what Scheisse means. Many people do. I only hope he knows very little beyond that.
He goes back to what he was doing, but the squeezing is becoming harder now, more painful. He pinches cruelly, or pricks his claws into me here and there.
“Du bist der Abschaum der menschlichen Gesellschaft!” I tell him after an especially painful pinch, spitting out the words as viciously as I can. “Du Schweinkerl! Du Miststück!”
He smiles and does it again.
In the same tone of voice, but with my eyes focused on Logan’s image in the monitor, I continue with “Schatz, verstehst du!”
I can see Logan’s eyes blink in sudden surprise. He gives me a minuscule nod, and I know he has understood me, while all Victor hears is another insult. If I use only German phrases that Logan knows, I can communicate with him and Victor will not realize it.
I have barely begun to savor this minor triumph when Victor decides to change tactics.
“Maybe my hand just isn’t exciting enough for you, hmm? Maybe you’d like something faster and more intense. I just happen to have a nice collection of vibrators available. Let’s see if one of them appeals to you. Here we are, fairy boy: the basic standard smooth plastic, medium size, uses 2 C batteries, and available in an attractive bright pink. Do you like it on the outside, or the inside? No answer? OK, we’ll try it inside, in that case.”
After a brief interval of rubbing the buzzing tip of the vibrator around my quivering anus, he works it slowly in. Of course, I have had some experience of such things and I know they are entirely wonderful. The rapid vibration gets to the erotic nerve endings like nothing else I know. As it slides easily into my anus, my body literally clutches at it spasmodically, repeatedly, as if to draw it in faster, deeper, until it reaches that place inside and finally satisfies the growing tickling, itching, wanting inside me that yearns for stimulation and satisfaction. I am gasping with the exertion of simultaneously wanting to come and struggling to prevent it.
“Yeah, that’s it. Show me how much you’re enjoying this, baby. Let me see it.”
I want to tell him to go fuck himself, but all I can do is moan in desperation. My thighs tremble and my entire body shakes in the grip of my contradictory desires.
Then Victor touches another smaller but more intense vibrator to the tip of my dripping cock. I am almost sobbing now.
“Oh yeah, that’s real nice. Real nice. You’re getting to me, fairy boy. Look. I’ll show you.” Briefly letting go of the vibrator stuck deep into my ass, he unzips his fly and pulls out his own hard cock. “Bet you’d like this instead, wouldn’t you?”
I shake my head desperately, as if in fear. His penis is indeed rather larger than I would prefer, but certainly not beyond what I could manage.
“Scared, huh? Well, you’ll get it one of these days. But not now. Now I want to see you come. That’s just what I need to be ready to put the real thing into Jimmy next.”
He begins working the vibrator in my ass back and forth. My spine arches and my hips lift up from the table, involuntarily seeking to capture the source of that tantalizing sensation.
“Stop fighting me, fairy boy. You know you want to let go.”
He is right. I will not be able to stop. I can feel it deep inside, the pressure mounting, the ecstatic waves of pleasure cresting and ready to break. In a last desperate effort to prevent ejaculating, I tense every muscle in my groin as tightly as I can, trying to hold back. A fierce satisfaction envelops me, pulsing, throbbing waves of golden joy turning my body into paradise. I come – and yet I do not. There is no feeling of the slide of fluid through my penis, as there should be, yet I tremble with the intensity of the spasms that continue on within my body, while everything is locked and held down hard by my will. I hide my feelings from Victor as well as I can while it happens, moaning no louder than I had been doing already. With no cum to prove me false, I pretend nothing has happened. Carefully, I allow myself to relax as the intensity of the pleasure subsides but does not entirely go away. Mein Gott, what have I just done? I did not know such a thing was possible!
Apparently, Victor does not know it either, judging by his next remark.
“If I didn’t think I was imagining things, I’d say you’re deliberately refusing to come, fairy boy.”
I gather my scattered wits and reply casually, “Now, Victor, do you really think a man can do that? Maybe you just don’t turn me on.”
“You’re turned on all right. Your eyes are as bright as coals.”
“Oh, did I forget to tell you they glow not only vhen I am aroused, but also vhen I am experiencing very strong emotions, including anger and rage? I thought I mentioned that, but perhaps I overlooked it.” My tone is casual and calm, but a firestorm is still raging inside me, wanting to burst again into flame.