It is a work of fiction inspired by conversations I had with real people about their actual experiences and wishes. I have selected as the basis of my story a least offensive set of them. Fiction be tamer than reality.
****
Kindly edited by neuroparenthetical.
****
Restless in Manila
****
Chapter 2
****
As the bus passes Angeles’ city limits, Tom feels elated. It’s all over and he’ll not come back again. Ever. He’s happy to have done it. It was not all the bad, most certainly an experience. And he had to know, he needed do it, he could not contain the urge. He has learned none of it is for him.
The next few days he tries to think as little as possible about what transpired. He’s no longer that happy to have gone through with it. He’s disgusted with himself when his mind wanders back to the day. He’s repulsed by the memory of Bianca’s sickening body odors. Why did he have to engage in such revolting acts with Philippines’ lowest?
His disgust is mixed with disappointment and anger. He had been promised butt fucking, of which he’d received none. Bar that brutal, inept fingering. He had looked up for abundant streams of clear piss, and instead he’d gotten drops of vile, acrid, dark yellow.
Most damningly of all, he had engaged with a prostitute. He had been cheated of the one thing he cared about — being used, abused for someone else’s pleasure. Had he gotten that, the stomach-churning odors, the nauseating body tongue wash, the atrociously filthy underwear in his mouth would have mattered not. He would have been used as he needed to be. What he got instead was to pay money to a whore that had no inkling of what submission is. Surely, she had been as sickened as he was by the entire act and would have gladly done anything instead, or nothing at all.
None of his resentment is strong and what there is fades fast. It isn’t long before he reverts to warmer feelings. Maybe… it really was like he thought it’d be while planning it. Sure, the ladyboy is a hooker, but she wants that, too. She had applied herself too vigorously to fucking his mouth not to. She may not have been into most of the rest, almost certain she hadn’t cared for pissing his face, but overall she had enjoyed the experience.
And besides, and almost delicious, paying for the whole she-bang had been humiliating. The memory of it both stings and comforts. Pity Bianca did not know the the shame of that last indignity and nobody else have seen it.
Then back to despondency: why hasn’t she got in touch yet? She said she wanted him back. Seemingly not that much.
By this point his frequent as possible masturbation has moved from imagining glistening pink cunts to recalling his mouth cock and piss abuse, the ladyboy’s from Angeles hairy butthole and her large, ungraceful feet.
At last, he texts her.
“Why did you not text me until now?” she wants to know.
Why haven’t you? he retorts mentally, but he responds “I’m sorry, I really am. I should have. Please forgive me.”
“You don’t like me.”
“I do, really do. You’re” Tom fails to come up with anything positive. “You were good to me. I’m grateful.” He isn’t.
“When you coming back?”
He cannot, not like that, not at short notice. He needs a full day for it, the trip there is city rides included, 3 to 5 hours one way. He’ll have to ask for another leave and whether he gets it soon is out of his control.
“I’ll tell you as soon as I know.” he promises.
“He misses you.”
“I miss him, too.” replies Tom, revolted and aroused by the pronoun. “I want to kiss him very much. Suck him so hard.”
“Yeah, I know, baby.”
“I want him to cum in my mouth.”
“You can, yes.”
“I want him to fill my mouth with its sweet pee.”
“Come to Angeles, and you can.”
Tom gets his next leave in a few days time and makes arrangements with Bianca for their second meeting. He even manages to find a better, faster ride to Angeles.
Until the day arrives, Tom stays torn between a burning, uncontainable desire to meet Bianca and dread at what he can expect and will surely get, and disgust at himself. Masturbation usually marks the transition between waiting anxiety and doubt and at times conviction that he should not go.
The message exchanges go largely as they were. Tom is achingly excited to hear and say how he’s going to suck dick, drink piss, get his balls crushed, lick her feet, tongue wash her body and the like. He does not wish to mention butt fucking much, he does not wish to set up himself for more crushing disappointment. In fact, he does not insistently mention anything he did not get the first time around, no matter how much he wishes for it.
He keeps lying or misspeaking himself about how he experienced their one date. He says he loved having Bianca’s dirty underwear in his mouth, he does not say the odiously rank and heavily stained cloth made him sick. He wants more of the same, he loves her stink, the stronger and fouler the better. No, he’s not scared of having to do it again.
He tells her he only wants to please her, do what she wants him to, no matter how vile and degrading. He suggests she abuses his submission as far as she cares or wishes to explore.
Like before, Bianca appears most of the time not half invested in the randy exchanges as he is, but why should he expect or care otherwise?
She does enliven when talk moves to certain subjects.
“I like hurting men.”
“How do you go at that?”
“Whip them.”
“What else?”
“Slapping them.”
“Ballbusting?”
“Especially kicking their balls.”
“You did not kick my balls much last time.”
“You did not like when I did.”
“What does it make you feel, punishing balls?”
“It makes me crazy.”
“What do you mean?”
“Makes me horny. Very hard.”
“You can hurt my balls at your heart’s desire next time.”
“I’ll do that for sure. Slap and kick them.”
“Don’t hold back.”
“Baby, I love your cock and balls. Perfect for busting.”
“Thank you, I guess… How will you do it?”
“Put you in front of me. Want to see your reactions.”
“Hope so.”
“Your hands at your back. Spread your legs wide.”
“Yes. I’ll push my balls out for you.”
“And every kick I will give to your balls, you will say thank you my love.”
“I’ll mean it.”
“When I see your reaction hurting, not enjoying, I will call you close to me and punch your balls.”
Her words do things to Tom’s brain, he’s surprised and very aroused. Could she be the one he’s been searching for?
“And when you get hard from busting my balls?”
“Stick your tongue in my hole make her feel excitement till my cock cum.”
“…”
“I want you to lay down on floor sitting on your back while I spanking your balls.”
****
He spots her, the same place as the first time, on the busy bars street of Angeles’ noisy, dirty party district. She wears a dark blue narrow dress, stopping mid thigh. It looks very cheap and ridiculous on Bianca’s boyish body, with its narrow hips and protruding bones. The bra that closes too high on the back is clearly visible and adds to the disgraceful image of a no longer young man dressed most inappropriately. The image is completed by greasy hair and tired female flat shoes abused by male feet.