Serenity took a deep breath, finally sitting forward in her seat. “Well, I don’t think I could wear a ring,” she admitted. “I’d get too many questions at work about who the guy was.”
I spoke up again. “I could get you something more simple if you want,” I offered, sincerely desperate to take that step with her — to make it feel like this was really going to happen, instead of being afraid she’d change her mind. “And you could wear it on your right hand,” I added.
“Or just your middle finger on your left hand,” Gabriella said in agreement. “Whatever works best for you.”
Serenity sighed heavily. “This is all just so fast. I honestly can’t even believe I’m seriously considering it.”
“Considering it?” I repeated, my depression obvious in my voice.
Serenity focused on me in surprise, before seeming somber herself. “Kai, it’s not that I don’t want to. It’s just a really big deal. Like, I might lose my job if people found out, even if we technically aren’t doing anything illegal. And even if I didn’t lose my job, I’d lose all respect from my coworkers. No doubt the guys at work would probably start treating me like a slut.” She scowled then, clearly frustrated at the idea. “No doubt I’d get under-the-breath comments wondering why I won’t sleep with them if I’m so slutty that I’d sleep with the guy I’ve been living with, and been taking care of, all this time.”
“Isn’t that harassment though?” I asked seriously.
She nodded with a frown. “Of course it is. But that won’t stop them from doing it and denying it later.” She scoffed. “They would never let themselves be overheard. And while I’d like to think that most of the guys I work with are decent, I’ve seen signs that it might turn out like that if they found out. They’d at least call me a slut for sure.”
“You’re not a slut,” Gabriella said firmly. “And no one has to know,” she added. “Besides, it’s not like you’re going to stop being good friends just because you become more romantically involved. Like, he’s still the same person you’ve lived with all this time. That will always be your relationship, whether you’re married or not. And whether it’s recognized by the government or not. You’re still best friends, and in many ways, I feel like that is more important than every other relationship either of you have.”
Serenity shook her head in disbelief, focusing straight ahead. “Gabriella, I really don’t understand why you’re okay with this. I mean, how are we even supposed to live our lives from now on? Like, are you wanting to move in? And how do we do sleeping arrangements?”
When Gabriella didn’t respond right away, my housemate glanced back at her.
My fiancé shrugged. “It’s a lot to consider,” she agreed. “And honestly, I wouldn’t mind moving in. I’ll even pay rent if you want. But I’d rather us all be in this together, and figure it out together, instead of making sure it’s ‘easy enough’ before making it official.”
Serenity faced forward again, mumbling, “I wouldn’t make you pay rent,” under her breath. She was then quiet for a few minutes, glancing at me. “I guess let’s stop someplace so I can go in and get my ring sized, and then go someplace else so you can pick out a ring.”
“Really?” I said hopefully.
She nodded, seeming more confident now, her tone gentle. “Yeah, really. I think my hesitation just comes from making this transition to you going from being a person I can’t date, to now being someone I can date. But Gabriella is right. We are first and foremost best friends, romance or not, and there’s nothing actually wrong with us being together as adults.”
“But what if you don’t like what I get?” I wondered, referring to the fact that she implied I would pick something out without her being there. “Are you sure you don’t want to at least take pictures or something to give me an idea?”
She shook her head. “I already feel uneasy about the possibility of being seen by someone I know, even if it’s unlikely. I’d rather just do it quick.” She then abruptly focused on me, her expression apologetic. “And I’ll love anything you get me, Kai. Just nothing too flashy. Like, maybe even just go for a simple wedding band.”
I pursed my lips as I considered that. “Maybe I could get you something a little nicer, and you could just say you got a family ring cleaned or something.”
Serenity was pensive. “Yeah, actually that could work. I could say it was my mom’s old ring, and if I’m wearing it on my middle finger, or even my right hand, then I don’t think anyone would assume it was an engagement ring.” She focused on me again. “I would still prefer it not be too flashy though. Really, I don’t mind. Simple is better.”
“What about a wedding band that has small diamonds all around it?” I wondered, recalling seeing a few such rings at the store when we got Gabriella’s ring.
Serenity thought about it for a second. “Yeah, that could work. I’ve seen girls wear rings like that on their middle, index fingers, and even thumbs before. And if someone realizes it’s a wedding band, then I still have the family heirloom excuse.”
“Sounds good,” I replied, feeling sincerely relieved now.
“Is this stressing you out?” Serenity asked quietly, sounding a little sad.
I sighed, glancing at her, deciding to be honest. “You potentially changing your mind is stressful. Really stressful.”
My best friend gave me a sympathetic look, turning her head toward the road for a few seconds, before focusing on me again. “I really think we should take this slow, Kai. It’s a big change.” She took a deep breath. “But I won’t change my mind. I think we’re past that point now. I mean, even if I did change my mind, nothing is going to be the same again. We still kissed.” She sighed. “So I don’t feel like I even can change my mind at this point.”
“Promise?” I whispered.
“Promise,” she said more firmly. “I love you, Kai. More than anything.” She sighed. “And I guess if I’m being honest, this is what I’ve been wanting too. I think it’s why I decided not to date. Sure, I told myself that I just wanted to focus on making sure your life was stable — to make sure you had all my attention…” She sighed. “But I think deep down I felt like you were enough for me, even if we always remained just normal friends. I was fine with never being with anyone.”
“Me too,” I whispered, only to clear my throat. “Well, that was the plan until I met Gabriella, and even then, I wasn’t planning on starting anything with her.” I sighed. “But she found out my secret, and was okay with it.” I glanced back at her. “Not that I’d want someone else,” I added, speaking to my fiancé now. “Obviously, you know you’re amazing.”
Gabriella nodded, giving me a small smile.
I sighed, glancing at Serenity again. “So, just wondering — and I know this is kind of random — but does that mean you weren’t attracted to me?”
She frowned. “Kai, being attracted to you would have been a big deal, even if our parents were still with us. You are still a lot younger than me, and are only now an adult. So no, I wasn’t thinking about you like that. Although…” Her voice trailed off, as she looked up at me with a grimace. “I did buy those pajamas with you in mind, when I got your other birthday presents…even if I felt really horrible afterward…”