Cleverness is Sexy by SelectRedux
An exceptionally brainy young woman, Alice has pursued her academic interests to the exclusion of almost everything else in life. There will, she reasons, on the verge of her 23rd birthday, the MA she’s strived so hard to attain nearly complete, be plenty of time to pursue other interests later. Travelling perhaps, a life outside the university library, even something so mundane as clothes shopping.
Used to being an outsider – teacher’s pet, bookworm and swot are familiar, uncomplimentary descriptions – Alice embraces her geek status with pride. Sure, she attends the occasional postgraduate party, more out of a sense of obligation than enthusiasm, but blokes her age don’t do it for Alice. Seemingly either intimidated by her intellect or determined to brag to their mates they’ve ‘scored a nerd’; it isn’t worth the hassle.
An invitation to join the university quiz team is an entirely different prospect, both a challenging intellectual test and, best of all, the chance to meet Giles Knighton, celebrity quizmaster (‘QM’), of the TV series, ‘Battle of the Brightest’. This popular programme involves a collection of brains the size of Mars competing for, well, since you ask, an engraved glass bowl: no cash prize, no foreign holiday, simply a public endorsement of higher education.
Alice secretly fancies Giles; she’s minimal experience in such matters, but something about the way he solemnly utters the phrase, “five-point penalty,” when an over-eager contestant answers too soon makes her damp with desire. In recent months she’s had a bizarre recurring dream of being summoned to his office wherein the QM, dramatically stretching each syllable, insists Alice pay a pen-al-ty and spanks her across his knee.
Where on earth did that idea come from? Never smacked by her impeccably liberal parents as a child and top of her class each year, she was a regular goody two shoes. Is spanking even a thing, Alice wonders? Oh! Apparently, it is and that’s a question she won’t be asking Google again anytime soon…
The quiz show is filmed over three consecutive days at a London TV studio, with overnight stays in a posh hotel and culminating in a grand finale, followed by a winners’ dinner with Giles.
On the first day of the competition, Alice, an avid fan of the show, doesn’t share her teammate’s nerves. This assurance momentarily leads to overconfidence when she impulsively answers a question before the QM has finished it. Wrongly it turns out, he looks directly at her, just like in the dream. “Five-point penalty,” says the QM solemnly and Alice becomes simultaneously mortified and excited. Perhaps she’s mistaken but it subsequently seems the QM’s focus is on her whenever she looks up. One of the production team also notices and nods to a colleague.
“QM has one of the students on his radar.”
“Well, we know where that’s going,” is the amused reply.
On day two, Alice’s team aces the quarter and semis to secure a playoff place. Filming is through by early afternoon, allowing everyone time to prepare for tomorrow. Alice belatedly realises she’s woefully underdressed; her default outfit of hoodie and jeans doesn’t work on camera. Aware of the QM’s burgeoning interest, she knows that while cleverness may be sexy to some it may not be enough to hold his interest. Her appearance urgently needs a revamp, but purchasing new clothes is intimidating; supercilious assistants, too much choice, and a budget of next to nothing pose seemingly insuperable problems. Without much hope, she seeks sartorial salvation in a nearby upmarket charity shop.
Alice selects a dress and while trying it on gets chatting with the manager, Hannah, fortuitously an aficionado of the quiz show, who quickly grasps her dilemma.
“You have a good figure, don’t hide it by dressing like my Gran,” she says bluntly, but not unkindly. “What about this little black dress?” Even Alice, a fashion ingénue, appreciates the flattering fit. “I think bare legs will look okay,” continues Hannah, “how did someone who’s always swotting get such a tan?”
“I read on the lawn…”
“I kind of walked into that answer,” her smile warms Alice’s heart. “Now, do you own any makeup?”
“I only use lipstick, if I remember,” replies our heroine. Hannah sighs indulgently. “It’s a good shade, suits your hair – you should wear that down. Let me give you a quick 101 on eyeliner and mascara. Voila,” she says a few minutes later, “reckon you can do the same tomorrow?”
“Of course,” Alice is a quick, if not modest, study.
“On to shoes, you don’t look like a heels girl, what about these silver flats?”
Alice sighs: “They’re lovely, but the dress costs all the money I have.”
“No problem,” responds Hannah, radiating positivity. “Borrow them,” she grins wickedly, “ensuring I get to see you again. Try this as well,” Hannah takes off the chunky red necklace she’s wearing and fastens it around Alice’s neck. Her touch is warm and intimate, sparking an unexpected jolt of electricity. “Lovely, I quite fancy you myself, now go and win, girl.” Burbling heartfelt thanks and struggling to contain confused emotions, Alice returns to the studios, a woman transformed.
The QM’s transparently obvious double take when he first catches sight of Alice’s new look is priceless. Unsurprisingly her team makes it to the final, the closing minutes a tense, battle of academic prowess with Alice’s university ultimately victorious. The subsequent valedictory dinner passes in a blur and an unaccustomed intake of wine. Later, with practised nonchalance and just as the film crew had predicted, the QM invites Alice to his room, “for a nightcap.”
Giles is both erudite and entertaining, confidently exuding masculinity as he ushers her toward the sofa. He pours a Perrier – no more alcohol for Alice tonight she decides – and brushes, plausibly accidentally, against her breasts. For her part she’s impressed but not overawed, Alice fully intends to get fucked tonight.
“You look lovely,” ventures the QM, loins stiffening as he delivers the compliment. “Played the final round superbly, and no penalty points”.
Bingo! Alice flushes, clamping her thighs together in a futile attempt to suppress a familiar frisson of carnal excitement. “Those words seem to produce a dramatic physical effect,” he continues. “What do they make you think of Alice?”
“Being bad,” she replies tentatively.
“I see,” responds the QM calmly, “and what do you suppose happens to bad girls?”
“Since I’m never naughty I wouldn’t know,” she answers spiritedly.
“Something made you blush during the contest whenever someone incurred a penalty point…” The QM won’t let Alice off the hook.
“In my imagination, bad girls get spanked,” Alice’s voice drops to a whisper.
“And in reality?”
“I think that’s up to you, quiz master.”
“Then you’d better get across my knee.”
Obediently and unhesitatingly, she obeys. Unhurriedly Giles pulls the LBD tight across her delightfully pert posterior, eliciting a sharp intake of breath from Alice. Grasps the hem and inches it up slender thighs until the full expanse of her bottom is revealed.