I got home. I threw myself where I had been spending most of my time: my bed. I lay there unable to sleep, my eyes wandering around the spacious room. I loved my bedroom, I loved my house. I’d had it furnished and decorated exactly like I wanted, as Mark didn’t care about these things. It was my house. I clung to my Paige cozy covers, holding them close to my chest, as the fear hit me. He wouldn’t do that to me. He knew how much I loved this house, just a year ago we had been talking about maybe having children someday, or I had been talking, but he was listening wasn’t he.
Morgan was just a fling. He’d have his fun with her, get bored, then get rid of her, like he’d gotten rid of every woman before her.
My phone beeped. I opened it and winced at the sight of Morgan’s name. She’d sent me a message. A voice recording. I hit play.
“Again with this shit,” her irritated voice came out of my phone.
“What?”
Even though I already knew everything, me hearing Mark’s voice like this, knowing what he was doing, knowing who he was with, made my throat chock.
“I told you before I’m not gonna continue this if you do that.”
“…I know she’s your friend Morgan, but this isn’t about her.”
“No,” She said in her crud tone.
“Fuck this.” He said. “Then what do you want huh, what’s your solution. Stay like this forever, not settling in the same house.”
“So you’d like to settle now huh.” Morgan chuckled. “I aint five hun, you probably fucked half the city before you made your move at me.”
“None of them compare to you love.” He said in a seductive tone.
“Hummm.” She said. “Even Judy.”
“Even that cow yes…”
I yelp escaped me, as I felt all the air punch out of my lungs. I felt my eyes getting wet. Not the words he said but also the way he said them, so casually. Was that how he talked about me in front of them.
“YOu’re unbelievable you know that.” She said, and I almost thanked her privately for the aggressiveness I felt in her tone. “Five years is it, that you’ve been married to her.”
“Five long years, more than enough don’t you think,” he giggled. “gave her more than she deserves of Mark’s love.”
“Puftt. Dick.” She joked.
“Come on. What do you say…move in.”
“WHAT” I shouted as my phone dropped from my shivering fingers. Tears ran down my cheeks as I listened.
“Not if you gonna throw her out like this I won’t.”
“You think I have a choice in this.” He said. “It’s not my responsibility to take care of her, and I want to live with someone I love.”
“You can do both.”
“Do both?” he said. “You think she’s gonna accept living in there if you move in. That would be a sight to see wouldn’t it.” He laughed. “Us fucking in the bedroom as she’s cocking us dinner downstairs. She’s spineless baby, not a cuck.”
“No harm in testing that out.”
“……………………wait a second…I just…don’t, understand. You won’t put up with me divorcing her, but you would accept putting her through this shit. I mean, is she your friend or not…I’m lost.”
“Look…Judy is Judy. I know her. She’d accept anything…anything at all, except for having to go out and fend for herself. As long as you keep her in her little house, fed and cozy and comfortable, she’ll shut up and take it.”
“Wouldn’t that…” he said, his tone a bit worried. “Complicate things, from a legal standpoint, what if she filed for divorce herself. Wouldn’t that play in her favor?”
“No.”
“You sure—”
“Who’s the lawyer here bitch.”
“Ohh…” he hummed. “I like it when you get all saucy.”
“Good.”
“Any chance for a quick one.”
“We just had sex you animal.”
“Fair enough.”
The record ended, and my hands stayed frozen on the phone. I was frozen still in my place, my mind not able to wrap itself around what I heard. Her words didn’t hurt me as much as the fact that she was right. I would probably suck it up, if it meant that I didn’t have to give up my beautiful house and go out to the world, live in some small apartment, struggling to pay rent month after month, with the salary that I would make working a minimum wage job given that I had no skills what so ever, working under some boss. I was too afraid to even think about it. But could I truly put up with the life that Morgan had suggested? Could I see her here, living in my house, forcing me to be nice to her, while she had sex with my husband?
Maybe it wouldn’t be that…horrible. I mean, that last record had pretty much destroyed what little love I had for him. As far as I was concerned, Mark was just a stranger to me now, hell, even Morgan was closer to me than him. It would be like I was the landlady, housing a married couple. But I doubt that Morgan would allow me to feel like a landlady. If she was honest about her not having any feelings towards Mark, this whole plot was just to humiliate the shit out of me. How had I known her for that much time and hadn’t realized what a sociopath she was? Had she always hated me? Maybe she was jealous of my life, me living like a spoiled princess, and her having to go hustle. But she chose that road. She was as pretty and attractive as me, she could’ve easily chosen to go snatch someone like Mark and live my life?
I gave up trying to understand any of this, and buried myself under my covers, doing my best not to imagine any images of what my life would be like soon. The moment she would step into this house, the only dignity and self-respect I would be allowed to have would be whatever Morgan would spare me. Given that that sorry excuse for a man was prepared to kick me out, I would be totally at her mercy. And I knew Morgan wasn’t that merciful.
I knew I wouldn’t be able to get a second of sleep while I was in this state, and I knew that I would lose what was left of my sanity if I staid under my covers thinking things over, so I decided to go ahead and take the initiative. Whatever sick crap Morgan was storing for me, let her give it now. I got up, not caring to fix my messy hair or my ruffled-up sundress, and put my sandals on then left the house. I sent her a message while I was in the car, “you alone?”
She responded immediately, with, “Yeah, LOL.”
LOL. The first time she’d ever used that. Nice. It was all a joke to her, wasn’t it. She was ruining my life for laughs. I drove to her house, hoping that I wouldn’t lose my temper once she opened the door. I was going there to surrender, to give her her victory on a silver platter, in hope that she’d take it easy on me, or, hopefully, just stop. I mean, no matter how cruel she was turning out to be, she couldn’t look down at me while I grovel at her feet and still choose to torment me. I would be playing at her guilt, however little of that she might have felt.
I got into her elevator. I looked in the mirror as I went up, trying to prepare myself for what was to come.
I stood in front of her door and knocked, taking a deep breath as I heard her make her way to the door. The door opened, and I kept my eyes downwards, eyeing her slippered feet and her gray pajama pants. I couldn’t look up, fearing that her face might fume me. “Please don’t do this.” My words came out robotically, as a pathetic plea. When no response came, I whined. “Morgan?” I looked up, and the look on her face confused me. She seemed…disappointed. I sank to my bare knees in front of her, looking up at her with pleading eyes. I touched the tip of her slippers and said. “What have I ever done to you?” For some reason, the only thing her face showed was annoyance and disappointment. This was what she wanted wasn’t it, seeing me on my knees groveling, humiliated in front of her.