“And be shot dead, I think not,” I insisted.
“No, not lead pay the mercenaries!” she insisted, “She would excel as mistress here!”
Matrimony?” I asked innocently.
“Indeed, she will needless cuckold you but as a Mariner that should not trouble you.” she suggested.
“I shall demand fidelity,” I insisted, “I shall lock her in her room until she agrees.”
“Oh!” Lady Marchington exclaimed in shock that I had agreed so readily and then she queried, “Lock her in her room?”
“Indeed, she is with my mother and sisters, see,” I showed her the key, “The key to her chastity belt!”
“I say,” Alan exclaimed, “You have her?”
“Indeed, she eloped with me,” I explained, “We are lovers, did you not know, oh yes, just like Sebastian and my sisters.”
Lady Marchington went near white beneath the rouge on her cheeks, “Like Sebastian?”
“Your sisters sir, is the whore Harriet there?” Toby Monmouth exclaimed, “Oh Alan she is perfection, the thrill of plunging deep inside,” he realised almost too late it was I her brother he was speaking to.
“Ah you wish to court her?” I asked, “Marry perhaps?”
“Ah?” he said.
“We must discuss a dowry,” I suggested, “Come let us seek the girls out!”
It was a curious convoy that made its way through town to the Bordello where Mother resided and soon enough Toby and Alan, Lady Marchington, Mrs Cathcart, Mother and myself sat around the sitting room while by degrees Dorothy appeared dressed like a serving wench, then a near naked Harriet, her once golden hair and face glistening with freshly expelled seed, appeared to Lady Marchington’s clear discomfiture and finally Rose appeared.
I looked around the sitting room, where my sisters and mother and the aristocratic and haughty Lady Marjory and the flame haired Rose her tall spoiled daughter, were all looking expectantly at me and I laughed.
“Mr Harnsworth,” Lady Marjory demanded, “What exactly do you find funny?”
“Rose!” I laughed.
“You beast!” Rose exclaimed, “How dare you,” and she went to strike me, but I held her firmly and kissed her passionately. “Oh you beast, you know I cannot resist you!” she snapped.
“No there is bad news,” I said, “I am so sorry but seeing you with your mother all debauched, but no sit my love, then we shall have you dressed and.”
“Father and your brother are dead!” Lady Marchington announced brutally, “Seeking the Highwayman,”
“So, I am disinherited?” Rose asked in horror, “No character, no fortune?” she asked.
“It seems so, I inherit,” I explained.
“And I?” she asked, “What happens to me?”
“You remain as my mistress,” I offered, “Or perhaps as Lady Marchington should you consent?” Suddenly I felt renewed my sap was rising.
“Lady Marchington, why I never thought of that.” she said, “You honestly propose marriage?”
“Oh yes,” I agreed, “Shall we go to your room and discuss it?” I dangled the key to her chastity belt and we rudely rushed from the room without a by your leave and rushed to the bed room.
This time she near tore my clothes off whilst I bared her or the iron belt and I sought her most private parts with my fingers once more.
“Yes!” she said softly, “Make me yours,” she said, “My Highwayman,” and we kissed as lovers and as she moistened I inserted myself below once again and we rocked in passion for our wakening and when I was sated I lay back and dozed contentedly.
We slept thereafter, but when I woke she was looking at me in the pale light of morn and she smiled as she saw me wake. “John Harnsworh,” she said, “Lord Marchington, do you know in a certain light you are actually quite a hansom beast.”
“While you, when you smile that is,” I confirmed, “Are beautiful,” I felt stirrings she smiled and I took the smile for an invitation, and took her in my arms and then after a while we fornicated again and forgot to breakfast but by luncheon we needed sustenance so we ate copiously and after assuring her mother we would agree her plans we fornicated the whole afternoon between my tales of my adventures.
“You will always be my Highwayman,” she said, “I see it now.”
Meanwhile and unbeknown to me Mother had quickly sized up Toby Monmouth, “Harriet show Toby your room,” she insisted, and Harriet obliged Toby without the obligatory three pence being paid and then after a decent interval of courtship of nearly five minutes Dorothy took Alan to her room.
It was much later when I returned to seek Mrs Cathcart, Rose was to bathed and her clothes found and in all ways prepared to return to the Hall, then Harriet was to be cleaned as best could be managed for Toby to take to Marchington while Alan was to be left with Dorothy, which just left the problem of Lady Marchington and Mother’s now depleted supply of whores.
“Your Mother must become the new whore,” I suggested to Rose.
“Oh yes Mummy, you would enjoy that,” Rose insisted, “Remember the gardeners, queueing outside the potting shed.”
And there we shall leave this heartening and uplifting tale.