Now I had bought, and used, but alas was not wearing at the time, clothes designed for modesty that allow one to discreetly feed one’s baby in public, especially if they’re coupled with a small baby blanket, and I had become quite good at it. The problem was, however, that I was home alone on this Saturday morning, and thus had no need for my modesty clothes, and in fact had been planning simply to remove my top and my bra, and to feed Hazel topless. I often gave an inadvertent treat, that way, to my immediate neighbor, Old Man Stoneham, the voyeur who lived next door.
Old Man Stoneham had even gone so far as to tell me he really enjoyed watching my boyfriend Mark ravage me the other day, spying right through the same window he was doubtless watching at that very moment. Old Man Stoneham and I had an unusual, and a bit of a kinky, relationship. I exhibited, and he voyeured. (I know voyeur is not a verb, but give me a break, okay?)
As I sat there, stunned by Doug’s audacity, and daydreaming about Old Man Stoneham watching me, Doug came over and began to remove my top.
“Please place Hazel down, and raise your arms, my sweet Joanie,” Doug said. It was the way he said it: He was loving, but firm. It was a command, not to be denied, but filled with desire simultaneously. It was kind, and affectionate, but brooked no resistance. I fell into Doug’s spell.
I have to ascribe it to the shock of surprise, but I did it. I put Hazel down, and raised my arms, and off went my top. These days I wore nothing but nursing bras, where the cup flips out of the way, so there was no need to remove my bra. At that moment, however, Hazel lost her patience, and she began to cry. As I turned my attention to my little bundle of joy, Doug unhooked and quickly slipped off my nursing bra, somewhat effortlessly, I am ashamed to say. He had rendered me topless, right in front of him.
Hazel lunged for my now exposed boob, and that was that: Hazel had attached herself to the nipple of my left breast, leaving my right breast fully exposed, and it was beginning to let tiny drops of mother’s milk seep out of my not-yet-used nipple. I could almost hear Hazel’s sigh of contentment as she sucked away at my left nipple.
Doug sat back and watched the show, with my two boobs out for all to see, even if “all” was just Doug, and perhaps Old Man Stoneham. I blushed, but it was a fait accompli, so I just relaxed and went with the flow, engaging Doug in pointless conversation regarding the news of the day. I was surprised that Doug had some insightful things to say.
And why not? Just because Doug was a womanizer, who had set his immediate goal on yours truly, as it now became clear, didn’t mean he was an idiot. The bastard seemed to be smart as hell.
Not to be outdone in the smarts, I quietly sent a text to Barbara.
Doug is here. SOS, 911, everything
Barbara texted back, right away.
Be right over
With the prospect of Barbara coming over to save me from the evil machinations of Doug the Womanizer, who sometimes is called “Doug Juan,” on a play of Don Juan, I was able to relax, and I enjoyed the conversation with Doug, even if I was topless during it, and nursing Hazel.
As I moved Hazel over to my right breast, and Doug spoke, showing he was well coached by the man I claim to love, who shall remain nameless, but lots of people call him Mark. “May I lick up Hazel’s leftovers?”
“Doug, that’s gross, and much too intimate. So, in a word, no,” I said.
“But …”
I knew he was about to say that Mark got to do that, so of course by English common law precedent, he should get to do it, too, but thank goodness he caught himself before he said it. Since had Doug Juan said that, and had I let him say it in his hypnotic way, we’d probably be fucking by the time Barbara got here. Yes, I’m that easy of a slut when some kinky sex is involved. Besides, as an extra plus, Old Man Stoneham would have enjoyed the show!
“You know, Joanie, if I may say so, you’re looking especially fetching this morning. The curve of your hips from your waist to your legs is beautifully displayed by the leggings you’re wearing,” he said.
“It’s not spoiled by the spit up stains on the leggings?” I asked, giggling.
By the time Barbara burst in, to the rescue, she found me still feeding Hazel while still being topless, and giggling as Doug complimented me. I was wearing my bedroom eyes, to boot. Doug was holding my feet and giving them a sensual massage from heaven, Barbara knew Doug was getting to me. She also knew that if I had not sent her my SOS, I was destined to be yet another notch on Doug’s belt. Maye I’d be a special notch, as the girl he laid while her baby nursed.
However, I did in fact send Barbara an SOS, and now here she was, her presence being a magnificent life saver, or in this case a dignity saver. Hazel had just about finished her meal, and she had fallen back asleep while eating, as she often does. I postponed changing her diaper, as she had not yet pooped, and put her in the crib, as I quickly donned my bra and my blouse, as Barbara sputtered her greetings.
**
“I guess I passed Mark’s test,” I said, to Barbara, after Doug Juan left.
“What do you mean?” Barbara asked.
“He apparently wanted to know if I was just a horny slut who would put out for his best friend, Doug Juan, or if his laying me was special to him,” I said.
“Or,” Barbara replied, “He simply told Doug what had happened, giving Doug a hard-on for you.”
“Mark would have known this would happen,” I said.
“No, you would have known it would happen, but Mark was just innocently recounting a spectacular time to his best friend,” she said.
“If he had such a spectacular time with me, why has he tried nothing since?” I asked.
“Maybe he doesn’t want to soil the memory of his wonderful fuck with you?” Barbara offered.
“That’s ridiculous,” I said.
“Is it? Shall we try something in reverse?”
“Ooh, your mind is wicked. Would you be willing to do that?” I asked Barbara.
“Sure, for two reasons. First of all, it won’t work. I could never seduce Mark. Second, if I’m wrong and I can seduce him, well, he’s pretty hot,” Barbara said.
“Maybe this is not such a good idea,” I said.
Just then, the doorbell rang.
“Hello, Mark. Your trick with Doug didn’t work, you know,” I said.
To Mark’s credit, he didn’t try to hide his complicity. “Yes, so I hear,” he said. “Except for Doug getting to check out your beautiful boobs, of course. Just so you know, he agrees that they’re the best boobs in all creation. ”
“Of course,” I said. “Hey, I’ve got great boobs, but there’s no need to exaggerate.”
“I’m sure Hazel agrees,” Mark said, smiling.
“And your best friend Doug agrees, too,” I teased.
“Yes, yes, he surely does,” Mark said.
“What about you, Mark?” I felt I had to ask directly, since he was not being forthcoming on his own. “Do you like my boobs?”
“Maybe I could see them again, to decide?” Mark asked.
“Nice try, buster. You’ve seen them plenty already. Remember six years ago?” I said. There I go. I wasn’t planning for it, but no matter: I was going for it!