“Did he?” Ashley asked.
She stared down into her half empty coffee mug, unable to conceal her regret. “I wouldn’t say that he ruined me, but dates and holidays never seemed as fun after him. Everything always felt kind of boring. Instead of going out for my birthday, I’d rather go on a fun hike, have my man cook me a surprise dinner, and then interrogate him in order to find out where my present is…if you know what I mean.”
“Mom!” Ashley reacted loudly. “Interrogate him to find your present? You’re so bad!”
“I was a bit wilder back in the day,” Jen laughed. “Bill brought that out in me.”
“And Dad doesn’t?”
She let out a frustrated exhale. “I don’t know, honey. He certainly doesn’t bring out my wild side like Bill did, but your dad has some good qualities that Bill didn’t possess. Like, he doesn’t stick his dick in everything with a pulse.”
A laugh sounded from Ashley’s end of the table.
“And he isn’t constantly in debt or always lying,” Jen added to the slim list of Tom’s positive traits. “He doesn’t turn into an asshole when he drinks either.”
Ashley did her best to smile, but her mother’s revelation was eye-opening. Mom chose what she thought was a responsible guy, but still clearly missed the fun and excitement that her former boyfriend had brought to her life over two decades ago. Honestly, it was sad to hear.
“You don’t regret marrying Dad, do you?”
Jen took a moment to think before shaking her head. “No, I don’t. I wouldn’t have you if I didn’t.”
Ashley smiled.
“It’s just that sometimes I wish your father had a little Bill in him, you know? Listen, honey, the longer you’re in a relationship, the more that sparks need to fly. The honeymoon phase will wear off and then it’s just you and him, and if he can’t push your buttons six months into dating, then what will it be like in twenty years?”
The high schooler finished the last of her breakfast.
“I’m happy that I didn’t end up with Bill,” Jen said. “He wasn’t a loyal guy and there’s no way I could stay married to a man who constantly cheated on me, but at the same time, I often wish that your dad had more of a take-charge attitude. It would be nice if he was the kind of guy who’d just grab my hand and lead me somewhere for a night because he felt like it. Bill and I did things I never would’ve dreamed of doing, and I still think about them all these years later. That’s the kind of man you want. Find yourself a creative, fun guy who knows what he wants, and someone who can make memories with you that will last a lifetime. Because sex drives change, emotions change, jobs change, and looks change, but two things don’t change: creativity and an assertive attitude–and those two qualities will make endless memories. Don’t get me wrong, gifts and presents are nice, but real memories are so much more important than diamond bracelets and expensive dinners.”
Ashley had a few questions after her unexpected conversation with her mother, but one far and away took priority to the others. Mom had briefly mentioned something that she couldn’t shake. She needed to know.
“What was Bill like in bed?”
Jen smiled before looking down at the table.
“Hey!” Ashley spoke up. “I thought we discussed everything?”
“Okay, okay,” Jen laughed, conceding to the inevitable. It was only fair to be completely honest. “He was…fun. He was unpredictable and aggressive, and his take-charge attitude carried over into the bedroom. I honestly didn’t realize how important that was until I no longer had it.”
“With Dad?” Ashley asked.
“Listen, no guy’s perfect. I’m also sure that your father has a list of things I do that drives him nuts. Everyone has flaws. I just want you to find a guy who checks off your most important needs, because you won’t be able to change a guy into the man you want no matter how hard you try. Bill was a cheater. I tried to change him into a loyal guy but I couldn’t, so I eventually moved on. Loyalty was too high on my list of needs to sacrifice. So, if an assertive attitude is important to you, then you shouldn’t waste your time with a guy who needs to be led.”
“I wish Mike was like that,” Ashley said. “You know, sexually. I always have to be the one to initiate things. I wish he would take control more often.”
Jen took another sip of her coffee.
“Do you think I should find a different guy?”
“I would never tell you who to date, but really think about if Mike can give you what you need. If he can’t, then find someone who can.”
“Oh my God!” Ashley shouted dramatically, in a style almost exclusive to herself. “Speaking of sex! I can’t believe I didn’t tell you!”
“Tell me what?” Jen asked.
“Okay, so while I was over at Mr. M’s–”
“Mr. M’s?” Jen interrupted.
“Yeah, that’s Ryan’s name,” she told her mother. “It felt strange to call a guy so much older than me by his first name, you know?”
“What about him?”
A big smile grew on Ashley’s face. “So, I carried one of the boxes labeled ‘bedroom’ upstairs to his room, and guess what I saw after I opened it up?”
She waited.
“Guess,” Ashley requested.
“I have no idea.”
“Come on, guess,” whined Ashley.
“Clothes?” Jen speculated.
Ashley shook her head.
“Was it sex related?” Jen asked.
Her daughter nodded.
“Porn?”
Ashley shook her head again.
“I have no idea,” Jen finally conceded. “What was it?”
Ashley’s smile couldn’t be bigger at the moment. How had she forgotten to reveal such vital information? “It was full of sex toys.”
“Sex toys!?” Jen shouted, her eyes instinctively looking to the ceiling after she remembered that Tom was still asleep.
“Mm-hmm,” the eighteen-year-old brunette nodded. “And not just sex toys, but kinky sex toys!”
Jen’s ear-to-ear smile now resembled that of Ashley’s. “Like what?”
“Belts, paddles, blindfolds, leashes, collars, ball gags, rope, handcuffs, and I saw something that looked like nipple clamps.”
“How do you know what nipple clamps look like?” Jen asked, laughing.
“I guess I wouldn’t, but…I uh…a few years ago…kind of started reading erotica.”
“What!?” a stunned Jen yelled, forgetting about Tom. “Are you serious?”
It looked like everything was open for discussion now. Ashley was ready to admit to it all. “Heather shares an Amazon account with her mom and she reads that kind of stuff. Heather ended up downloading some of the books and got into it, I tried reading a few of them, and well, I liked it…a lot.”
Stunned would best describe Jen’s current mood. Her daughter read erotica? Erotica!? Wasn’t that reserved for older women with horrible sex lives? Gorgeous girls still years from the legal drinking age were the last demographic that she’d expected to read smut.
“What kind?”
“Um…I uh…I like a lot of the rougher stuff,” Ashley admitted, still slightly embarrassed. “Do you know what BDSM is?”
Jen’s jaw dropped.
“You do!?” a surprised Ashley laughed.
“Sweetheart, I’ve read more erotic novels than you could possibly imagine. I’m well-versed in the world of BDSM. Well, not in real life, but I’m an expert when it comes to fantasy. Believe me, I could give you a long list of recommendations if you want.”
Ashley could barely contain her excitement. “You can!?”