“Look at her, so innocent. She remembers nothing of how I brutalized her, how I tore away her virginity with that cross, how I raped her for hours and emptied myself into her womanhood. I said to her last night that she had become my personal cum dumpster, well I’ve decided I’m going to keep her around. When I get bored and long to feel the flesh of a woman, I think I’ll creep into your room and put on a show for you. I wonder which would be more entertaining, to let her remember every scene so that she can spend the days dreading my arrival, or to heal her and wipe her memory whenever I’m done with her, so that every night, she gets to experience the horror of some stranger coming into her room and taking her Christian chastity, to lose her virginity to her rapist over… and over… and over again.”
“I won’t let you hurt her, I’ll find a way to stop you!”
“Oh, you’ve done enough already. Don’t you realize why I’m doing this? It’s because she’s YOUR roommate. You dragged her into this by being a part of her world.”
“You’re just trying to trick me, I won’t give in!”
Xavier yanked on her leash, pulling her back against him. She clawed at her throat, gasping for air.
“I honestly prefer you don’t, that would be too boring. That fire in your eyes, that rebellious spirit… that is what drew me to you. Pray to God to protect you, try and shield your friends. I want you to rebel against me. I want you to keep hope alive and dream of a day when this collar with be broken. Hope is the belief that things will change, that even the most horrible situation will come to an end. People cling to hope because they have no choice but to believe that they can outlast their Hell or that something will happen to change all the rules of the game. But every time the sun rises on their bleak world, every time they feel the strike of the whip or club when someone was supposed to catch their tormentor’s hand, that hope turns on them.
I want you to keep hoping, because that will make your suffering all the more terrible. Every time I crush your hope, you will be overwhelmed by heartbreak, by disappointment, by abandonment and even betrayal by God and the world around you. Reach for the sun, my little flower, so that I may clip you and send you falling back to Earth. Wait for someone to come and rescue you, so that every time you feel my touch, you realize that you are all alone. Make this a glorious and eternal battle of wills, make me fight to win your heart.” He grasped her trinity necklace and held it up to her face. “Keep this close, so that you can learn again and again how useless it is.”
He then vanished, leaving Helena to fall to her knees, her throat sore and her body weak.
‘Don’t cry, don’t you dare cry,’ she told herself, feeling tears hanging from her lashes.
Having left Helena, Xavier was in a sinister mood. He was looking for someone, using his powers to track her, and as luck would have it, she was alone. Timing it perfectly, he rounded a corner just as a girl did. She was fifteen, small for her age, with short brown hair and a fragile look to her. She had been carrying several books and papers, and bumping into him, she fell and everything dropped into a mess.
“I’m sorry!” she squeaked, getting down and frantically trying to pull everything together.
“No, no, it’s my fault. I should have watched where I was going better.” Getting down on one knee, he helped her gather her books and papers. “Oh, I recognize you! I saw you in the cafeteria the day before yesterday,” he said cheerfully.
She looked up at him and her face turned red. The last time she had seen him, he smiled and winked at her. “You… remember me?”
“Of course. How could I forget those pretty eyes of yours?”
Not used to flattery, she ducked her head and tried to contain her nervousness. She wasn’t even picking up papers anymore.
“I’ve Xavier Michaels, and I see you are…” he picked up a homework assignment. “Lily Traiton, a beautiful name.” The worksheet he had retrieved had already been graded and it was dotted with red marks. “Having trouble with stoichiometry?” he asked, looking down through the problems.
“Give that back!” she cried out in embarrassment. He gave it to her and she stood up, all of her possessions in a messy pile in her arms. “Thank you,” she said nervously with her face downcast.
“I could help you.”
She looked up at him. “What?”
“I remember stoichiometry being the worst part about chemistry, but it’s not too bad once you figure it out. I could tutor you if you’d like.”
She averted her gaze, less nervous than before, but now feeling shame. “Why would someone like you help someone like me?”
Xavier put his hand on the top of her head, making her look up at him with eyes full of wonder. His smile was warm and kind. “Because something tells me you’ve always been afraid to ask for help. Listen, I’ll be in the library today at 6:00. If you’d like some help, come find me.”
Just as Xavier had planned, Lily came to find him in the library. They were sitting at an isolated table in the corner of the library, where no one would bother them. They had finished Lily’s chemistry homework and now he was checking it over.
“Very good, I can’t see any problems. You did a great job with this.”
Lily was trying to hide a bashful smile while she squirmed in her seat, unsure of what to do when complimented. “T-thank you.”
“I’m happy to help you. I’ve definitely found that the work at this school is difficult. Do you like it here?”
She lost her smile and turned away. “I don’t know.”
“Well we get to go home for a few weeks for summer break, just hold out for a month and you can spend some time at home.”
Lily brought her hand up to her mouth as if to chew her nails, but was really hiding away behind it. “This school is my home.”
A moment of silence passed between them.
“I understand.” She looked up at him and saw the same kind smile as when they met in the hall, but with sadness mixed in. “I know that this school still acts as a home for kids to have no other home to go to. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”
“It’s ok, my parents left me here when I was nine.”
She covered her mouth in the hope she could stop the words from coming out, but they had already been spoken. Why would she say that? She had never told anyone that!
Xavier held his hand out to her. “I’m sorry. Nobody, especially a girl as sweet as you, deserves to be abandoned like that. I won’t make the same mistake they did.”
“Do you really mean that?” He nodded and Lily slowly outstretched her small hand and rested it on Xavier’s palm. “Thank you.”
Helena stood before the doors of the university church, trying to work up the courage to touch the handles. It was in here that Xavier had revealed himself as the Antichrist and placed that collar on her. To her, this church had lost the feel of protection, as well perhaps as all churches. But there was someone here, someone who may be able to help. Pushing aside her fears, she opened the doors and stepped inside. At the end of the church, by the podium, a priest stood while facing a group of elementary school students, pointing out different aspects of the structure and giving them a mechanical understanding. He was Father Hauser, a young priest, early thirties, and at this school he was a professor of architecture, namely churches as to be expected. He was also a good friend of Helena.