“I don’t want to be with anyone else, Stephanie,” I growled through near gritted teeth, “I would ask if you’re kidding about this, but one thing I know is that you’ve never lied to me. Far as I know.”
“I’ve never lied,” she said softly, “But I want to do this now before we settle down.”
“So I’m to what? Wait here for a year while you go gallivanting around the globe, fucking god knows who or how many guys, but I’m supposed to just willingly accept you back at the end of it?”
“You can have fun too!”
Sliding out of bed, I stood up and just felt a rage I’d never felt before. How the hell did she think I’d ever agree to this? “Who the hell convinced you I’d ever agree to this?”
She stood up and looked at me, almost pleading with her eyes. “Just think about it, John. You’ll realise it’ll be a good thing for both of us. Truly it will be.” She approached me, though the glare made her stop from hugging me. Instead, she kissed my cheek. “I’m going for a shower as the love we made last night was wonderful. We’ll go downstairs for breakfast then head home. We have lots to organise for the festive period. I love you. Please never doubt that. I’ll come home, we’ll get married, settle down and start a family. It’s what we’ve always wanted.”
Staring after her as she walked into the bathroom, I laughed to myself. My god, I didn’t know her at all. Quickly packing my things into the bag I’d brought along, I found a pad and pen, sitting down at the desk and wrote a letter she could read once she was out of the shower. She might have seen anger on my face, but she’d utterly shattered my heart in a few short minutes. I’d never had my heart broken in such a manner before. Probably wouldn’t feel this level of agony again.
Last thing I did before walking out the room was leave a small box by the note. I hadn’t planned on doing it that evening or morning, I’d been carrying it with me for the perfect time. I’d figured doing it during the festive period. That idea was clearly now in flames, and I didn’t really care about keeping the ring any longer. Doubt I’d get more than a couple of hundred bucks for it if I chose to pawn it.
Driving home on the highway headed back west, my phone started to buzz, no doubt phone calls and messages. I was probably speeding the entire way, my mind in turmoil. I knew I needed to get away immediately. I wasn’t going to remain where I was. Not a chance. Too many reminders. I didn’t know whether to be angry, upset, jealous or apoplectic with rage.
Pulling up outside my home, I stormed inside, Mum and Dad rising to their feet as I slammed the door. I heard their questions but ignored them, walking into my bedroom and looking for my larger backpack. “What’s going on?” Dad asked.
“Stephanie and I have broken up. I’m heading off.”
“What?” Mum exclaimed, “What happened?”
“She’ll probably turn up here soon enough. I’ll be gone by then. She can explain it.” Throwing anything I could think of in my larger backpack, I found my passport in my desk, threw that with my wallet, phone and other things in a smaller carry bag I could take with me on the plane. “I’m going away now. Don’t know where. Don’t know for how long. But I’m not staying here.”
“Wait, John, don’t you think…” Dad trailed off when I looked up and met his eyes.
“Please, let’s talk about this,” Mum pleaded.
“Nothing to talk about,” I retorted, checking my backpack to see I at least had the essentials before I zipped it up, “I learned Stephanie was not the young woman I thought she was. All our plans are now dust. So, fuck it, I’m going to go do what I want to do. No idea what that is. I’ll figure it out on the way to the airport.”
Picking up both bags, my parents moved out of the way as I walked back to my car, dumping my things on the passenger seat. Mum and Dad followed me outside. Hugging them both, I simply wished them farewell and that I’d contact them once I’d figured out what I was doing.
“What about Stephanie?” Dad wondered.
“I honestly don’t fucking care right now, Dad. She ripped my heart out this morning. Tell her whatever you want.” I hugged them again. “I love you both. I’ll be in contact soon.”
Sliding behind the wheel, I took off, only looking back once to wave a hand outside before I turned and disappeared. Arriving at the airport, I drove into the long stay car park. Once I’d found a spot, I grabbed my things, took my keys but left the ticket and the key for the car on the dashboard. I didn’t care about it any longer.
Heading inside, I wandered around the airport, trying to figure out where to go. I’d always been tempted to join the Australian Army as an engineer but Stephanie hadn’t been keen on the idea, so I agreed to go the civilian route. I knew I could possibly travel to the United Kingdom and join the armed forces there.
But an idea came to mind that made me grin for the first time in hours. “The Foreign Legion,” I muttered to myself, “And I speak good enough French to survive.”
I was wrong about that. Very wrong, about quite a few things when it came to joining up, but I’d only learn that later.
The lady I spoke to behind the desk was very helpful though surprised I hadn’t booked anything before arriving at the airport. Letting her know it was a last minute decision, she managed to get me a decent flight to Paris via Hong Kong. I’d have a layover in Hong Kong, which didn’t bother me. She made a couple of calls and also managed to snag me a half decent hotel in Paris for my first few nights.
“What do you plan on doing while you’re there?” she wondered.
“I’m joining the French Foreign Legion.”
*****
The Present
Gently taking Stephanie’s arms from around me, I took a step back and many feelings suppressed over the past ten years were suddenly flowing once again. The love I’d once felt and still felt for her. The anger and rage at what she’d asked of me that morning. The agony at having my heart broken in such a manner by someone who I thought had loved me. The embarrassment that she thought I’d ever agree to effectively be cuckolded in such a manner.
Three of her friends were approaching. I recognised them well. I was about to be flanked on both sides. A pincer movement that would eventually encircle me, and I’d be trapped. I’d learned during my time in the Legion that, sometimes, the best offence is a good defence. When fighting an overwhelming force, retreat is sometimes the best option. Withdraw, re-group, then counter-attack when they run out of steam.
“Maybe we should…” Mark started to say.
“I’m going outside for some air,” I said, “Back shortly, guys.”
Walking outside into the late spring night-time, it was still warm, finding a nearby bench to sit on. I’d picked up one bad habit during my service. French people loved to smoke, and while I wasn’t a constant smoker, there was nothing better to calm yourself down than by having a smoke with the guys during downtime, particularly during deployment and we’ve just seen off a bunch of fanatical fuckwits. I only used roll ups, so after spending a minute getting it ready, I lit it up with a match, leaning back and sucking down a lungful. Felt calm again within a few seconds.