“All done,” Doctor Brown informed me, as Julia straightened out the bed. “Can you sit up?”
Julia, still holding my hand, helped me up. I felt dizzy and light-headed. The room began to spin. I shook my head, and Julia guided me back down. Feeling the burn rise in my throat, I squeezed Julia’s hand twice, our code. I hope she remembered it.
It was the price you paid for having the hospital nurses as your best friends. As soon as I rolled to the side, Julia had the wastepaper basket ready. The worst part wasn’t the upchuck, actually; it was the lingering bile aftertaste.
I released my grip on Julia’s hand and swung both of my arms over my eyes. Inhaling deeply, I let the air out in a small stream. I just needed a minute. The first time, Doctor Brown had shown me a video of the procedure, I panicked. I’d almost run from his office screaming. And I would have… if I hadn’t passed out first. When I came to, the central line had already been placed.
All things considered, I aced it this time. I touched my new appendage involuntarily. I knew what it felt like, but my hand went to it anyway. Feeling it there, protruding from my chest like a lamp cord, made everything more real. Until now, it hadn’t been hard to convince myself that the last few days were just a dream.
In a dream, you can pinch yourself and wake up. Now that I had needles and wires pushed through me, I couldn’t pretend anymore. This was real.
“Are you ready to head down to X-ray?” Doctor Brown asked. I sighed, and let Julia help me up. She had a wheelchair ready.
I hated being pushed all over the hospital, but honestly, I was in no condition to be walking. I sat down like a good patient and allowed the nurse to wheel me down to the second floor where the technicians would X-ray my new decoration, making sure of its correct position. I did not doubt of its perfect placement, though. Doctor Brown was one of the best oncologists in the nation.
After confirming the line’s faultless position, Julia taped it down. She wheeled me into another small room with a couple of reclining chairs, a bed, and a sixty-inch TV hanging on the wall. I moved myself to one of the leather recliners and got comfortable.
Julia attached the chemo drip to my newly placed central line. “Apple juice or orange juice?”
“Orange.”
“You need to drink it all, Rain,” Julia warned. “I know you. No one else is here today for you to give it to, and I hate cleaning out wastebaskets filled with juice.”
I rolled my eyes. “Fine. I’ll drink it.”
“I’m bringing you some crackers, too.”
She walked out the door before I could argue.
I was thankful to Julia for offering crackers. I hated inconveniencing her.
“Thanks, Julia,” I said, looking up.
She smiled at me and left.
I didn’t want to be here. Yes, this really sucked.
Sudden despair filled me and I began to cry in great, agonized sobs, my arms wrapped around myself. But then rage turned inwards and I began to hit myself, hating my own body for betraying me. ‘Why me?’ I cried out. ‘Why me? What have I done?’ I would have liked someone to talk to, then, a shoulder to cry on.
I missed Rolf. I missed his arms around me, his warmth beside me in bed, his kisses, his touch, and his comforting words. I missed him and I needed him. I was such an idiot walking out from him as I did.
The sound of the door brought me back from Despairworld. I didn’t want anyone feeling sorry for me, but I guess what I was doing was even worse: I was feeling sorry for myself.
I quickly rubbed away the tears and then I saw him.
“Rain?”
My heart had never technically stopped before that I knew of but at the sight of him, I wondered if it just had.
It was like one of those movies where the woman dies, and the super-hot guy started performing CPR. Then, her heart suddenly began to beat, her eyes flew open, and the first thing she saw was the man of her dreams giving her mouth to mouth.
“Rolf…”
He was like a ray of sunshine on a dark stormy day.
CHAPTER 11: ROLF
“This is not good news, right?” I asked Daniel, watching the expression on his face.
Daniel had texted me Saturday night, he just said had news for me. He didn’t even specify if it was good or bad. That made me so nervous.
“I am not sure what kind of news is,” Daniel said cautiously. “We couldn’t find anything about Rain. Sorry. Too little information to work with. We are not even sure if Rain is her real name. No credit cards. Her phone number is linked to an Austrian company.”
I sighed, “Yeah, I supposed so.”
Daniel bit his lower lip. “Not much we could do without her real name. Sorry.”
“What kind of idiot let a complete stranger into his life and falls in love with her after a chance meeting?”
I looked at Daniel in search of answers. “We all fall in love with people who are basically total strangers. I met my wife in a disco. The most unlikely place to find the love of your life. I took a chance to talk to her, and she chased me because she thought I was worth the risk. Once you fall in love with someone, you don’t just stop.”
I nodded. I had heard the story before.
“I took my chances dating Georgina. I could have ended up badly hurt. I mean, she is seriously hot, and I am just… me. Somehow we made it work. We are happy. All I can say is that if you find love, hold on to it, don’t let it go. Don’t let a great love pass you by.”
I took my time to let Daniel’s words sink in. I had no idea he had become so wise about feelings. I suppose being married does that to you.
“We did find something about this Lukas guy,” he said.
I raised my head with interest.
“His name is Lukas Gruber. Austrian. Married. No kids. He has a Facebook page. His family is loaded. He is worth millions. Euros not dollars. We were able to track him down through his car’s plates. He rented his car in Seattle. Rain’s phone is registered to a company owned by his family.”
“Rain didn’t look like a materialistic kind of girl, one who needs the latest purse or a wardrobe full of designer outfits. The girl travels with a backpack, for Pete’s sake! Which is her relationship with him?”
“I honestly don’t know. All I can tell you is that he was the one who drove Rain out of Middletown. He came to pick her up at your place after you left. Nick caught them in a traffic camera.”
My heart was pounding in my chest. Nothing made sense to me anymore.
Was I such a fool?
“Do you think they are having an affair?”
Daniel raised his eyebrows. “Again, I don’t know. You know Rain better than me. Considering all the good things Georgina says about her, I would say no, but only you can answer that.”
The scene of Lukas and Rain dancing in my living room caught a new meaning now. However, I couldn’t reconcile the thought that Rain was sleeping with this guy (technically I couldn’t call it cheating because I had no idea what kind of relationship we were in), with everything I knew about her.
Was everything an act? Could she have been pretending the whole time? Was she an actress, like no other actress I ever saw? Was it all a lie?
No, I refused to think so.
Rain wasn’t sneaky or underhanded. She definitely wasn’t the kind of person who would hurt someone on purpose. That explanation she gave me made sense to me once I cooled down.