An adult stories – You Left Me a Long, Long Time Ago by Trionyx,Trionyx This story is submitted to the Heart//Beats: Music, Sex, and Emotion Challenge 2023. This idea for this story comes from Willie Nelson’s 1964 song “You Left Me a Long, Long Time Ago.”
—–
“Hello, Theo.”
Two words.
Four little syllables.
It is amazing how those two words, those four syllables from her lips were enough to send me spinning, spinning into a world of pain, sorrow, sad memories and guilt. Mostly guilt.
As I looked up from my crossword puzzle, my eyes first took in her full hips, then her thin waist. Next were her two wonderful breasts, breasts I had adored, worshipped, stroked and kissed so many times I couldn’t count.
Finally, her face; as beautiful as ever though creased with a bit of a worried frown, a frown that melted as her shoulders relaxed when I answered, “Hi, Jess. Nice to see you. You back in town?”
“Yes, and for good. I told the Gundersons I was done with traveling and if they insisted I go on another remote job, they’d need to find someone else to fill my job.”
“Hmm. I thought you liked traveling. Oh, forgive me, please, have a seat,” I smiled at her. She nervously took the chair across from me and dropped her purse and a briefcase on the table. “Can I get you a coffee?”
“No thank you. I’ve had enough caffeine for one day.”
“They’ve got a wicked decaf latte. Here, try mine.”
“Yum. That’s good. OK,” she smiled at me, I guess realizing I was not going to rage or yell at her, “OK, I’ll have one, too.”
“One sugar,” we both said simultaneously before breaking into laughter.
“You remembered.”
“Jess, there’s so much about you I remember.”
She looked at me with a tiny bit of sadness in her eyes. “Me you too.”
I excused myself, ordered the latte and a scone. As I was returning to the little table, I looked at her closely. One, nearly one and a half years had gone by and she still looked great. No one would ever accuse her of having a Milan or a Paris model’s physique but Jessica was one of those women whose total was far greater than the sum of her parts. Her dirty-blonde hair hung in loose curls below her shoulders, her soft facial features were offset by a look of steely determination in her business woman’s eyes and her posture was that of an accomplished and in-control woman.
“Here you go. Want to split a scone?”
“I’ve never been able to turn one down and you know it.” She bit into her half of the scone, smiling as a few crumbs dotted her chin. Once she had dabbed them away, she looked at me and asked, “Well, Theo, what have you been up to?”
“Not much. I quit Jenkins and Thomas and have opened my own little practice.”
“What? You were on the fast track to partnership, weren’t you?”
“Yup.”
“Then why…?”
“Uh, something happened to make me reassess my life and my future. I decided life in the fast lane wasn’t all it was made out to be.”
She sat there looking at me with an unreadable look on her face but I knew what was going through her mind. She was probably wanting to know why didn’t I quit sooner, why didn’t I do it when we were still together and why didn’t I do it before it was too late. She took a sip of her drink before rubbing the warm mug on her face, a little habit of hers that I had thought was so endearing way back when. She cleared her throat softly and looked me in the eye. “Is there anyone…?”
“Nope. Haven’t found anyone since…, well, since then. You?”
“Likewise.”
As we sat there drinking our coffees, I was trying to figure out what she wanted after all this time. Why had she approached me? After all, she was the one who left back then. Did she have something she wanted to rub in my face? Did she want to rehash our troubles?
“So, you’ve got your own practice?”
“Uh-huh. I try to be a lawyer for the little guy, the guy who needs a hand getting through a legal jam or needing help dealing with some faceless corporation. No big criminal stuff, however. I send those cases over to Jenkins and Thomas and they, in turn, shoot me some of the smaller work they don’t want to waste their time with.”
“You guys must get along, then.”
“Oh, yeah. We parted on good terms, I told ’em I needed a little different lifestyle.”
“I see.”
A few seconds later I noticed it was nearing the time for my afternoon of fun. “Uh, say Jess, I’m gotta head out. The kids are waiting.”
“Kids?”
“I’m their soccer coach.”
“You?! You coach soccer? You’ve never played a game of soccer in your entire life.”
“I know, but Julie, my secretary, well her husband had to quit coaching due to him being put on the pm shift. She was complaining that none of the other parents would step up so I volunteered.”
“What do you know about soccer?”
“Not much but the kids are only six years old. I grabbed a book, learned some of the basics, watched a few videos and now they think I’m the best coach ever.”
“Wow. Who would have thought? Still driving that Porsche?”
“Nope. Too hard to carry kids and soccer equipment in it. I’ve switched.”
“To what?”
“Ah, uh, I have to admit I’m driving a little SUV hatchback.”
“Don’t tell me: a Subaru?”
I nodded yes to her infinite glee. “Oh, how the mighty have fallen.”
“I’ve not fallen. I’ve settled, happily, I might add, thank you. So, anyway, I’ve gotta run.”
“Theo, give me a call sometime, OK?”
“I, uh, don’t have your number. Deleted it.”
She pulled out her phone and tapped it a few times until my phone vibrated in my pocket.
“Now you do. No excuses.”
Even though her smile had a slight edge of uncertainty, I did not want to make any promises. “Maybe I’ll do that sometime. Nice seeing you again, Jess.”
“You too, Theo. Take care.”
—–
They say every breakup is usually the responsibility of one of the parties, or at least primarily so. Our split was as painful a thing as could ever be imagined, particularly since our relationship had been phenomenal early on. And I will go ahead and admit it: our split was primarily my fault. Yeah, I was the asshole, I was the one who treated her wrong and I deserved what I got. But she, well, she did not deserve what she got and for that I will forever regret my actions.
When I met her, I was a junior associate at the law firm Jenkins and Thomas. Still wet behind the ears when I applied, I somehow got the attention of their HR manager who passed my name on to Mr. Jenkins. I was nervous as all get out when he interviewed me and I had pretty much assumed I was toast but he wrapped up the interview with the request I return and talk to Mr. Thomas. Two days later, the somewhat younger Mr. Thomas ran me through the wringer. By the time I was finished with the interview, I figured I was done. Imagine my surprise when I received a call the next morning asking me to come in and discuss a job offer!
The offer was generous in terms of salary but the expectations were high. I was told I would need to work basically as a grunt for a year or two doing extensive research and preparing briefs for the firm’s partners and their cases. Once I had proven myself, they would throw me a few pro bono cases and see how I performed in the courtroom. If I did well, they would keep me on and slowly let me get involved in more cases of my own, real cases, which meant more money.
The first year was rough. Hard work and long hours defined my existence. Midway through my second year, I was asked to assist at a few trials and even asked to question witnesses. I must have done well enough that they soon began to have me manage a few of those pro bono cases. I remember winning my very first case by proving the fellow robbing the convenience store was far too thin on the video to be my client who was, to put it delicately, very generously proportioned. The police and the DA had concentrated on the perp wearing a particular T-shirt, one my client had also unfortunately been wearing the next day when he was picked up. I was able to prove that particular T-shirt was extraordinarily popular and the jury had to discount it.
From a personal standpoint the thrill of the win was amazing but I was humbled when my client’s young wife burst into tears as she hugged me after the verdict came in. Although I knew intellectually her life would have gone downhill dramatically if her husband had been sent to prison, her tears of gratitude told me how important our victory was not only for him but for her and their two kids. That Christmas I received from her a cute homemade tie clasp that I wear to this day. It reminds me why I do the work I do.
After three years of hard work, I was promoted to junior associate and given my own office, a legal assistant and a secretary. I figured I was on my way and if I kept up the good work, I could see making partnership within ten years. The money was very good and I was able to get a nice townhouse near the office as well as a Porsche I had been dreaming about for years.
My social life also took off. All through college and law school I worked like a demon to get good grades and as a result, I wasn’t too popular with the girls and women I had met. That all changed once I was a rising star in the firm. I will not say women were throwing themselves at me but it was fall-off-a-log easy to ask women out and just as easy to get them into bed. In looking back at it, I know many of them were looking for that golden ring but I was a man-slut and refused to be tied down. If a gal got a bit possessive or started talking about ‘us,’ I would head for the exits. I did not sleep with anyone at the firm, that was a hard and fast rule I had, but almost any other woman was fair game as I tried to make up for all that time I missed out when I was in in school.
That all changed the evening I met Jessica. Our firm was opening a remote office immediately over the state line and I was instructed to go down to the grand opening, meet some of the locals and schmooze a little. Among the local guests were several nice-looking women and I figured I might be able to better enjoy the evening once the official activities were done. One woman was particularly striking and I found myself surreptitiously watching her as she made the rounds. She was taller than average and had a nice figure with a small waist and decent breasts. Her dirty-blonde hair hung in waves down to her shoulders and her face lit up with a genuine smile frequently. I noticed she rarely took a sip from her half-empty wine glass and politely declined offers for refills.
I was intrigued and decided to meet her. After politely excusing myself from a conversation with couple of legal secretaries, I grabbed my first wine of the night and went up to her.
“Nice little get-together this evening. Know who put it together?”
She looked at me with a sly smile and nodded, “Why yes, I do.”
“When you meet them, would you let them know I think they did a great job.”
“Thank you.”
“Thank you?”
“Yes, thank you. I was ultimately responsible.”
“I see. And you are…?”
“Jessica. I work at Gunderson Associates and…”
“Gunderson Associates. You’re the ones we hired to set this whole office up!”
“Yup. We are.”
“I’m Ted from the Jenkins and Thomas main office. Nice to meet you.”
“You too.”
“So how many of you were there on this project?”
“On site? Just me, though I telecommuted sometimes with my bosses when issues came up.”
“Now, I thought Gunderson was located back in Centerton where the firm is.”
“Oh, we are. For the duration of this project, I have been living down here during the week and commuting back home for the weekends.”
“So, you did the leg work, found the office, hired the staff, coordinated interviews for interested lawyers and even set up this grand opening. Wow, quite a bit of work.”
“Yup, it was, but now I’m ready to move back home. I usually work there though my bosses send me to some of their sites occasionally.”
“Busy lady.”
“Yeah, very busy. This was my first project of its type for the firm and I can tell they’re pretty happy with how it turned out.”
“Well, I know I’m happy and I’m not even going to work here.”
“Thank you.”
“Say, I happen to know a little place that serves shrimp on toothpicks and some wonderful grilled sliders. Could I invite you to dinner?”
“You goofball. Are you inviting me to the hors d’oeuvres table for dinner?”
“Sure. Why not? I happen to have met the lady who set this all up and I’ve heard the food is delicious.”
“Thanks. And yes, I’ll accept your invitation.”
We made our way to the table and filled our little plates high with the various finger foods before going over to a small table by some windows. While we ate and finished our drinks, we talked about ourselves while getting to know each other. I told her about my life, legal career to date and my family, or lack thereof.
“So, no parents left and only a sister?”
“Yup and we’re not too close. Her religious and political beliefs and mine don’t get along too well, so we trade Christmas e-cards and talk by phone maybe once or twice a year. What about your family?”
“Mom and Dad still live in my hometown. He’s a pharmacist at the hospital and she’s in their admitting office. My little sister is at Paffington State and wants to follow in her dad’s footsteps. My older brother is posted overseas with the State Department. I see him every two or three years if I’m lucky.”
“See your folks very often?”
“Yeah, I fly over every few months for a long weekend at least.
“Say, your full name is Theodore, right?” she added.
“It is but only my mom called me that. Whenever I hear it, I immediately think I’m in trouble.”
“Hmm. Ted is just too, I don’t know, too common, too boring. I think you are more of a Theo. I’ll call you that.”
“Call me what you want.”
“OK, What-You-Want, if you insist,” she laughed, “No, Theo fits you better. And feel free to call me Jess. Almost everyone does.”
We chatted for at least another hour and as the guests started to thin out, she told me she needed to get with the caterer and tidy up a few details.
“Can I give you a call when the dust has settled down here?” I asked.
“Sure. Here’s my card. That number is my business cell number. My personal cell number is the exact same except the last two numbers are swapped. Easy to remember.”
When we got up, I was not sure how to proceed. I wanted to let her know I enjoyed myself but we had hardly been on a date, so a kiss was out. I ended up giving her hand a tiny squeeze before leaving. Downstairs I grabbed a ride to my hotel, crashed and drove home early the next morning. I was not expected back in the office until the next week and so I enjoyed a lazy afternoon relaxing at home watching TV and thinking about her. I found it interesting that I had not done anything to get her into the sack. Something must have told me to go slow though I did not have a conscious idea as to what that might have been.
The next night I went out with Wendy, a woman I had been seeing for several months. We had a fairly comfortable relationship, or at least I thought we did, and enjoyed getting together for drinks, dancing or a movie once or twice a week. Sex with her was quite exciting and though we did not do anything over the top, she could be a little on the wild side on occasion. I had thought our relationship was one of mutual pleasuring but on the last few dates she had dropped some subtle hints she might be up for something a bit more permanent.
She kissed me warmly on the lips when I picked her up and at dinner she was joking and telling me some interesting stories from her work. As she was telling me about a coworker named Elaine, I realized I kept tuning her out. I had to force myself to pay attention and interact with her but I had great difficulty doing so. My mind kept drifting back to Jess as I wondered what she was doing, if she had finished things up at the new office without trouble and the like. I knew I wasn’t being fair to Wendy and decided to cut the evening short. Once we had finished with dinner, I told her I wasn’t feeling well, something about a headache and that I had to call it a night. With a wink, she told me she’d give me a neck and back massage to help my headache but I thanked her and declined. When I dropped her off, she requested I call her the next day with an update. I did call her the next afternoon and was vague about any future plans though I agreed to call her in a few days.
After the weekend I was swamped at work but was able to take a break one evening and give Jess a call.
“Hi. This is What-You-Want calling, may I speak to Jess?”
“You crazy man. How are you, Theo?”
“Doing great. Few busy days but I wanted to call while I can and see if you’d be interested in having dinner with me this weekend.”
“We’ve already had dinner together. Can’t you think of something new?” she laughed.
“OK. How about dinner and some dancing?”
“Now you’re talking!”
We agreed on a restaurant which had an attached club with live music and a small dance floor. That Friday evening when I picked her up promptly at six, I was struck again at how attractive she was. She had on a nice, flowing dress which came to right above her knees and featured a bit of a risqué neckline which drew attention to her attractive breasts. She had done something with her hair which exposed her neck and made her look sexy as hell. I was treated to a glimpse of thigh when she crawled into my Porsche and by the time I got around to my side of the car, she was looking around the car, checking out the leather seats and dash.
“Like it?”
“Oh, you boys and your toys,” she chuckled.
“What do you mean?”
“Just what I said.”
“So, because I have a fun car means I’m still a little boy?”
“Mmm, maybe. But I’ve heard that it can mean something else is little.”
“What do you mean?”
“Mmm, just there seems to be a correlation with the size of a man’s…”
“What?! Are you suggesting that because I’m driving a sports car I may be lacking in another department?”
“Oh, it’s just something I’ve heard,” she giggled.
“Well, I have it on personal authority that the correlation doesn’t always hold. OK, what do you drive, Miss Dismissive?” I laughed.
“Hey, it’s Ms. Dismissive, I’ll have you know.”
“Normally I’d agree with you but the name sounds so much better with the title ‘Miss’. Miss-dis-miss-ive.”
“Well, I guess you’re right about that. I’ve got a Subaru hatchback.”
“A Subaru?” I hooted. “You know what they say about the women who drive Subarus.”
“Yes, I know and no, I don’t swing that way at all. It’s basically a great little car, functional and economic.”
“At least I know who to call when I need to pick up something big from the store,” I teased.
“You keep giving me shit and I may not let you borrow it,” she dished back.
On our way to the restaurant, we kept joking and teasing each other. It was a comfortable and friendly give-and-take.
We were seated at a secluded table where we could talk and laugh without worrying about disturbing others. The meal was delicious, as was the wine, and the service was superb. After dinner, I invited Jess to the attached club. We each got a watered-down cocktail which we drank as we talked and watched the dancers. Once our drinks were done, I invited her to dance. I remember being suddenly nervous as I took her hand and escorted her to the dance floor. The first few dances were fairly fast and we danced apart though occasionally holding hands.
Then the band slipped into some slow tunes. I held my arms out for her and after nodding ‘yes,’ she came up close to me. Within the first several steps, our dancing was smooth and in time with the music. I held her loosely in my arms leaving a bit of daylight between us but over the course of the three slow tunes, I was aware of her coming a tiny bit closer. And she felt great in my arms. When the band went to take a break, she looked up at me with a genuine smile before mouthing, ‘Thank you.’
We sat down until the band returned and we were back on the dance floor where we spent most of the rest of the evening. It was a joy to dance with her and though we came physically closer as the evening wore on, there was never any lewd rubbing of torsos or ass grabbing. Around eleven I suggested we call it a night and drove her back to her place. Holding her hand, I escorted her to the door where I suddenly found myself acting like a teen on his first date. Should I kiss her? Would she let me? Would she invite me in?
You see, normally I would have been more assertive and try to get invited in and see what might happen. But with Jess, somehow it didn’t seem right. When we got to her door, she turned to me and thanked me for the wonderful evening. I gave her hand a tiny squeeze and reached over, kissing her on her cheek. After wishing her good-night, I stepped back, ready to leave but she held onto my hand, pulled me towards her and laid a sweet, chaste kiss on my lips. She gave me a little smile, unlocked her door and slipped through.
As I drove home, I thought about the evening. It was, in a word, wonderful. I had not felt so comfortable with a woman in a long time and I was perfectly happy with the way the date ended. I really liked her and somehow it wouldn’t be right to try and bed her right off the bat like I had with so many other women. I figured taking it slow and easy was the way to go.
The next day I called Wendy and told her as gently as possible I was ending the relationship. I tried to reassure her it ‘was me and not her’ though I’m sure she doubted it. I did tell her I knew a great single guy and asked if I could give her name to him. She surprised me by saying ‘Yes’ and we hung up with pleasant good-byes, something that didn’t happen too often.
By Tuesday I was nervous about calling Jess. I wanted her to know I enjoyed our time together the previous weekend but did not want to appear too pushy. I decided to punt and texted her a single line requesting her to call me when she had a second. About two hours later as I was getting ready for bed, my phone rang with her on the caller ID.
“Hey, Jess, thanks for calling.”
“Sure. I was busy earlier but have time to talk now. What’s up?”
“Well, it seems I have a little dilemma.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah, and I was wondering if you might give me some guidance.”
“Shoot.”
“You see, I went out on a nice date last weekend with a very interesting gal. We had dinner and did a little dancing, you know, fun stuff.”
“And?”
“And now I’m not sure how to proceed. Should I ask her out again now or wait a week. If I ask her out now, well maybe she’d think I was desperate but if I wait, she might get pissed and turn me down when I do ask. So, what’s the sweet spot?”
“Wait a minute. Is this Theo, the accomplished attorney, or his little brother, you know, the one who is a freshman in high school?” she laughed.
“Theo.”
“Well, Theo, I’m surprised. I heard rumors you were quite the man about town but now you are sounding like you aren’t too sure of yourself.”
“Maybe I don’t want to screw things up with you.”
“Don’t worry, you haven’t screwed anything up so far. So, to answer your question, I think Tuesday evening is the perfect timing to follow up. It’s not too soon like you’re desperate but not too late to make you look disorganized or noncommittal.”
“Great. Thanks. I’ll give her a call next Tuesday,” I chuckled.
“Now don’t you dare,” she shrieked, “Tonight’s fine.”
“OK, OK. So, Jess, I’d like to invite you out this weekend.”
“And?”
“And I was wondering if you have any preferences. Movie, picnic, museum, dinner, sex club…”
“You can forget the last one,” she giggled, “You choose. I’m open for any of the other options.”
“Great. Let’s see what the weather will be doing. If it’s going to be OK, maybe we could hike out to Patterson Falls. I’ll pack a lunch. If the weather looks bad, we can talk about other options.”
“Just so long as it’s not the sex club.”
“It won’t be and besides, the idea of those gives me the willies. I mean, how could one do that in front of others, anyway?”
“I don’t know. You have to realize I was raised in a conservative family and while I think I’ve spread my wings a little more than my parents might have wanted me to, I’m not out there all crazy when it comes to sex.”
“Glad to hear it. I’d be embarrassed to go to one of those clubs anyway because of my need to drive a sportscar.”
“Oh, you silly man. I was teasing you, I hope.”
“Ouch. You have a way of taking my joke and throwing it right back at me.”
“Good. If you are at all a decent lawyer, you should be able to handle it.”
“OK. Look, I’ll call Friday evening and we can firm up the details for our Saturday together.”
“Sounds good and thanks for the invite.”
“You bet.”
On Friday the forecast for the next day was great so we confirmed plans for a hike to the falls and a picnic near the base. When I picked her up on Saturday, I was struck by her outfit and how well it fit her. She had on a tight T-shirt with a drawing of a mermaid on it. Although she obviously had a bra on, she filled the shirt very nicely. She had on a pair of snug blue jeans shorts as well as a pair of well-worn hiking boots. Attractive and sexy but not lewd or over the top. We made good time to the park and the hike was a blast. She was more than capable of handling herself on the trail and when I commented on it, she recounted several tales of her Girl Scout days and some of the hikes she had done since then. I particularly enjoyed the view up the trail as her ass was frequently right in my line of sight. Her shorts came down several inches below her cheeks but were snug enough to give me an idea of how she might look without them. I think she caught me staring at her ass one time but she never said a word.
After the hour and a half hike, we arrived at the falls. I was surprised to see there were only two other couples in the immediate area. We spread out a small blanket and I pulled out the food and a half bottle of wine, enough for each of us to have barely a full glass, and two plastic goblets. We had veggie sticks with dip and some small sandwiches before I opened the wine.
“Are you trying to get me drunk so you can have your way with me, Old Man?”
“No and I hardly think a glass will get you drunk. Anyway, we can’t be stumbling down the trail, can we?”
“You’re right and you know, this is kinda special. Thank you. I propose a toast: May this be the beginning of something very, very nice.”
“Cheers.”
As we sat there sipping our wine and watching the mesmerizing falls, my mind kept going back to her toast. It sounded like she was interested in me; she had hoped this was a beginning, after all. Once we finished, we left the blanket and strolled up closer to the falls until we were getting wet in the mist. It was a warm, almost hot day and I did not think about the mist much until I looked over at her. The mist had moistened her top until it clung to her curves. I must have stared because she looked down and suddenly turned away.
“You perv,” she laughed, “You drag me up here just to get me into a wet T-shirt contest.”
“Nope, that was not my plan but I have to admit, it would’ve been a great one.”
“Brr, now I’m getting a little cold.”
“Let’s get back into the sun and warm ourselves.”
We stretched out on the little blanket with her using my chest as a pillow. It was so relaxing listening to the roar of the falls that we both ended up falling asleep for probably fifteen minutes or so. She stirred first, wakening me in the process. She sat up, looked down at me lightly stroking my hair. I had closed my eyes again and was enjoying her gently running her fingers through my hair when I felt her shift next to me. Her lips met mine, lightly at first and then a bit more vigorously. I kept my eyes closed and let her be in charge. There was no tongue hockey but she did tease me a bit as her tongue tip gently stroked mine. After a minute or so, she pulled back with a soft hum of contentment and her hand slipped from my hair down to my face.
She gave my cheek a tiny little pinch before whispering, “Thank you.”
“Taking advantage of a slumbering man, I see.”
“You objecting?”
“Absolutely not. In fact, I’ll stay lying down and you can do that again, if you want.”
“Hmm, maybe another time. Say, if we head back now we’ll get home by six or so and I’d like to invite you for dinner.”
“Oh, sounds nice. Where? That is, what should I plan on wearing?”
“It’s called Jess’ Place. Very small and very exclusive. Interested?”
“Yeah, definitely. If it’s OK with you, rather than go home and come back, why don’t I stay and help with the prep?”
She agreed and we soon hit the trail back to the car. At her place she put me to work prepping the salad and veggies while she worked on the main entrée. The dinner turned out quite nice and once the dishes were done, she took my hand and led me to the sofa.
We chatted quite a bit and I was surprised at how fast time flew by. Around ten or so I decided I should probably plan on leaving. When I told her, she got a cute little pout on her face.
“No kissy-face?”
“Well, if you insist,” I chuckled as I leaned over to her. She met me with a warm and promising kiss. There was something about that kiss. It is hard to describe but it was much more than swapping spit. There was some unspoken message there, I was sure. When we broke apart, she clung to me a tiny bit and let a tiny little whimper escape her lips.
“More?”
“Please.”
Who was I to deny her? We sat there, arms loosely around each other, and continued to kiss for another ten minutes or so. Normally, I would have brought my A-game to try and get the woman into the sack but with Jess, it would not have passed the smell test and quite frankly, I did not want to. Once she broke away, she looked at me with a soft smile.
“You, kind sir, do know how to kiss. I’m looking forward to seeing if you know how to do more?”
“If you treat me right, maybe I’ll let you find out,” I laughed softly.
“I look forward to the day.”
“Me, too.”
On the way home all I could do was think about the whole day. It had been absolutely wonderful and I got the idea she enjoyed it as well. Right before I crashed, I texted her a short message wishing her a good night. I got back an emoji of the little yellow face with eyes closed and a smile on its lips.
Our next date a few evenings later was a quick visit to a local bar for a drink and some laughs. At that time, we agreed to getting together the following weekend. I suggested a visit to our local art museum, which had a traveling exhibition of impressionistic painters, before dinner at my place. The museum visit was well worth it and we were both impressed at how our little city museum was able to arrange for such an exhibition.
I was nervous about dinner. I am not a great cook by any stretch of the imagination but can usually put together something that will not poison too many people. I put roast beef in the oven for a slow cooking and arranged all the side dishes in advance. Everything came together perfectly and I could tell Jess was rather pleased.
After we cleaned up in the kitchen, I poured her a small glass of wine and invited her into the living room for some Backgammon. We stretched out on the floor with the board between us, agreed to the basic rule (Winner gets a kiss) and proceeded to play. Actually, she was a decent player and we ended up each winning about half the games. Collecting the prizes was enjoyable but when she eked out a win on our seventh and deciding game, she demanded we sit together on the sofa for her prize.
I sat there expecting her to sit next to me but instead, she sat on my lap. I let my arms rest lightly on her back while she put hers over my shoulders and pulled me to her. The proximity, her ever hotter kisses and the feel of her lean torso combined to make me realize I wanted her. I wanted to drag her into my bedroom and have my way with her. But, but there was a niggling thought I needed to go slow with her. After a stretch of wonderful kisses, she leaned back and looked at me.
“You, you have no idea how exciting you are to be with.”
“You don’t either.”
“Theo, I think you’ve got the idea I don’t hop into the sack very quickly. I’m a little old fashioned that way, I guess.”
“I understand. I’d love to take you back to my bedroom right now but I’d want to only if we both were ready.”
“But I will admit one thing: You keep kissing like you’ve been doing and I’ll be ready before you know it.”
“Good,” I laughed, “Come here and let me work on that.”
Later when I took her home, she paused at her door, gave me a nice little kiss and whispered in my ear the single word ‘soon’. I was smiling all the way home. We had come closer and closer, enjoyed each other immensely and I hoped we would take the next step soon, as she had implied.
‘Soon’ turned out to be almost ten days away. Our firm was involved in a high-profile case which had the local community riveted. I will not go into the salacious details but it involved accusations that a local college professor was sleeping with her student in return for better grades. When he did not get the grade he anticipated, he went to the press and sued her. The college canned her citing her contract and she, in turn, sued the college for wrongful termination. Somehow both cases were rolled together for one trial and we ended up representing the college. Anyway, I was extremely busy and had no time for seeing Jess. I tried to be upbeat and promised her a long weekend once the trial was over which seemed to win her over.
After all the work and over seven days of trial activity, the professor, the student and the college all decided to settle rather than run the risk of letting the jurors decide. We asked the judge for twenty-four hours and after hours of grueling negotiations, the three parties settled. As in most cases like this, no one was truly ‘happy’ with the outcome but all decided they could live with it.
That afternoon I went home and collapsed on my bed. About four hours later I woke up slightly disoriented, cleared the cobwebs from my brain and fixed a light meal. As it was not too late, I called Jess.
“Hey, it’s me.”
“Hi, Sweetheart. How’re you doing?”
“The case got settled this afternoon. I’ve been so stressed over it I came home and collapsed. I’m doing better now with a few hours of sleep and a meal. You?”
“Oh, OK, I guess. Missed you.”
“I you too. I think I owe you a little trip, at least I think I promised you one.”
“Yes, you did.”
“Where’d you like to go?”
“How about something simple. Let’s drive down to the coast and see if we can’t find a little place to stay, walk the beaches and collect sea shells.”
“Yeah. I’d like that. Let’s leave early on Friday and return late Sunday.”
“How about Monday?”
“If you want, yeah, I can get another day off. No trials planned, so, sure. Let’s.”
The four days were some of the best in my entire life. She insisted we take her car so we could bring a couple of suitcases that would not have fit in the Porsche. We made our way towards the coast and arrived at an old fishing port before noon. We ambled around the tiny downtown window shopping until we got hungry. After a too greasy meal at a local fish ‘n’ chips shop, we headed further down the coast. We were in no rush and stopped frequently to take pictures, look at the historical markers and search for seashells. By late afternoon we arrived at Orca Cove. A tiny resort consisting of about twelve scattered cabins all arranged with huge picture windows facing the cove and ocean had a ‘Vacancy’ sign out front and Jess insisted we check the place out.
Inside the office we were met by a wizened old lady who indicated she had multiple vacancies. She showed us what each cabin had and as I was getting nervous about what type of room to request, Jess reached over and pointed to a cabin at the end of the little drive.
“How about this one, Honey?”
“Uh, I guess,” I answered as I realized she had pointed to a single.
“Singles are one seventy-five a night. This one has the best view and is available for three nights. It comes with a small kitchenette and all the coffee you can drink.”
“Looks good,” Jess said, “We’ll take it.”
It was at that moment I knew we would be sleeping together and I certainly hoped we’d be doing more than merely sleeping.
“Any restaurants in the area?”
“Yes, in town about five minutes down the road are a couple. We provide a continental breakfast here in the office from eight to ten am every morning.”
“Sounds great. Here’s my card.”
Four minutes later we drove up to the cabin and went inside. Although the cabin was obviously old, it had been updated recently and the furniture was all modern. The main room featured an open floorplan with the bedroom and bathroom through a door to the left. The view from both rooms was stupendous and once we opened the windows, we could hear the soft roar of the surf from below.
“This is lovely,” whispered Jess as she came up and gave me a hug. “I’m sure we’ll enjoy it.”
“Mmm-hmm. About dinner, when would you like to go?”
“Pretty soon. I’m hungry and I want to save some time later in the evening for something more fun,” she grinned before giving me a quick kiss.
We hit a small vegetarian restaurant in town and made it back in time to see the final light of day fade over the water. We stood on the deck until it got totally dark and too chilly to stay outside.
“Theo, why don’t you turn on the stove in the bedroom while I use the facilities?”
“Sure. You showering?”
“Just a quick one.”
“Good. Save some hot water for me.”
I was in the living room reading an old magazine when she finished and told me the coast was clear. After a quick shower, I pulled on my shorts and entered the darkened bedroom. A single candle illuminated the most wonderful sight: Jess wearing a slinky nightgown and a sexy, come-hither smile. I felt my pulse pick up as my mouth became suddenly dry, a sure sign of my nerves. But why was I nervous? I had been with many women and not once recently did I get nervous but on that night, I found myself with butterflies in my stomach. I wanted her but more significantly, I felt this could be the beginning of something big, maybe even long-term and I didn’t want to screw things up.
I walked over to the bed, sat down next to her and leaned over for a kiss. Her kisses were tender and sweet, like before, but they also seemed to promise so much more. I broke away briefly and looked into her eyes.
“I’m getting the idea this was a set up.”
“How so?”
“Dark room, candle, sexy nightie, you…”
“Umm-hmm. Enough clues for you?”
I leaned over and gave her a few more kisses on her lips and slid over to her ear. After nibbling on it, I whispered, “Maybe. I know I want this but just checking…”
“The answer’s ‘yes’.”
“Mmm, good. I’m going to start right here with your neck.”
“Oooh,” she shivered, “I like it when my neck gets kissed.”
Although all my sexual release in the prior weeks had been me shaking hands with Yul Brenner, I was in no hurry. I wanted to slowly explore things with Jess, getting to know everything about her in detail. We made out with our hands roaming slowly over each other and when I reached her breasts, she tugged her nightie open on top, exposing them to me. Her breasts were perfect, perhaps a tad smaller than average but a wonderful shape and very responsive nipples. While I was exploring them, her hands were busy on my chest, stroking my nipples as well. Her hand slid down to my shorts and through the slit. She began to rub my cock slowly, making me more and more excited by the second.
“Better go easy or we might have a mess on our hands.”
“Maybe we should clear the pipes, hmm? Might make things later a little more fun.”
“Mmm, well, if you insist,” I chuckled.
She sat up, pulled off her nightie and tugged off my shorts before leaning over and taking me in her mouth. Oh, holy fuck, did it feel good! Her mouth slid over my knob and once her lips hit the end of the shaft, she let her tongue roll around the sensitive area in a most erotic manner. I realized her hand was slowly stroking my shaft adding even more stimulation. She was a woman on a mission and in no time at all, I was on the verge of an orgasm. I tapped her on her shoulder as I warned her to which she merely nodded and increased the pressure and speed. I had had decent blow jobs before but at that moment I was unable to recall any nearly as good. When I came, I forced my hips to stay still though the urge to thrust was huge. Once I relaxed back on the bed, she eased up on the stroking, raised up and gave me a sly grin.
“Like?”
“Amazing. Loved it.”
“Good. I kinda liked doing it.”
“Maybe I can return the favor?”
“Only if you insist,” she giggled.
I guided her down to the sheets and began to kiss her again. I let my hands wander from breasts to pelvis and back. I realized when my hand drifted across her shaved lips, she thrust her pelvis up to meet my fingers. I teased her by advancing and retreating until she whimpered into my ear I was not fair in returning the favor.
I smiled at her before I headed south, my mouth trickling kisses down across her breasts and belly until I got to the Promised Land. Her smell was delightful and all woman. My tongue made a few slow passes across her labia from taint to above her clit before I concentrated on the latter. I marveled at how responsive her clit was to my licks. It slowly swelled as it emerged from its hiding place under her folds of skin. It didn’t take too long to figure out what she liked the most; long, slow licks with heavy pressure followed by a little sucking action right on the clit. After a few cycles of this, her breathing got more erratic, her legs trembled and her torso slowly arched up before she came, thrashing wildly and calling out for me to ‘keep doing that.’ So, I kept doing it until she collapsed back on the bed and tapped my head. After I laid a few slow licks on her, she pulled me up to her, wrapped her arms and legs around me and gave me a deep, probing kiss.
“God, that was fabulous. You do know your way around a girl, don’t you?”
I didn’t answer the rhetorical question verbally but instead returned to kissing her again and again. She eventually broke the kissing, hopped up to get a glass of water and returned to bed. Watching her come towards me in the dim light was amazing. Her beauty was amplified by the satisfied, sexy smile on her lips. After we each had a few sips of water, she pushed me onto my back and while gently stroking my cock with one hand, produced a condom with the other.
“You just happened to have that, I see.”
“Umm-hmm. I knew what I wanted so I brought some with.”
“Mmm. So, did I. I guess that means we’ll have to be extra busy to use them all up.”
“Dream on,” she laughed softly, “But if you treat me like you just did, we certainly might make a dent in our supply. Here, slip it on. I want you in me…”
Once I had it on, she nudged me over onto my back and crawled on top. I love being on bottom, whether she is sitting on her haunches or lying down right on me. Jess chose to sit and began to thrust herself back and forth on my pubic bone. I looked up at her to see her eyes closed, a tight smile on her lips and her breasts swaying with each of her thrusts. I reached up and began to stroke one nipple to her apparent delight as she began to moan slightly. Her thrusting picked up in speed and intensity as her breathing began to come in little gasps. I figured she was getting near the end but was surprised when she suddenly exploded above me. Feeling her, seeing her and hearing her climax caused me to lose it and I came seconds behind her.
When she collapsed on top of me, I could feel the slight moisture of her perspiration and her heart beating in her chest. Eventually her breathing slowed and she appeared to become more aware of her surroundings. She turned her head and kissed me on the cheek before moving over to my mouth. Her kisses were soft, warm and full of gratitude and satisfaction.
“Theo, that was uh-maaa-zing,” she whispered in my ear.
“Mmm, yeah, very nice.”
“I think I’m going to like staying here the full three nights.”
“We could both call in and quit our jobs and stay here forever.”
“Attractive as that may sound, we gotta eat and pay for the room.”
“Spoil sport.”
“Yeah, I guess I am but there’s gotta be someone taking responsibility.”
“I know, Mom, I know, but it would sure be fun to extend things, wouldn’t it?”
“Mmm-hmm. Let me get up before you lose your raincoat and we have a little surprise in nine months.”
As we lay there for over half an hour talking, joking and laughing, I suddenly realized I was happy. I was at peace. I lacked nothing. I felt whole. In all my times with other women I had never found myself so comfortable as I was at that moment. I tried to figure out what was so different and realized it had to be the person I was with.
Weeks later when I looked back on that night, I realized it was the beginning of my love for Jess. Prior to that I liked her, I liked her a lot. I think my going slow and allowing our relationship to develop were signs she was someone special and not merely a roll in the hay. Or maybe I was simply growing up. Who knows?
The next morning, we made love again, twice actually, before we went over for the Continental breakfast. We strolled on the beach, picked up a few sea shells and one oddly shaped piece of driftwood before we went back for a matinee performance. Dinner in town was followed by yet another roll in the hay. Apparently, once she had decided to make love, she wanted it again and again.
But what amazed me was how close I felt to her during our lovemaking. Sure, it felt good and the orgasms were beyond fantastic, but it was a sense of almost fusing together that got to me the most. With all my prior sexual episodes, I had never had that sensation, not even close. And with Jess it became an overpowering part of our relationship. And I never wanted it to stop.
On Monday morning we reluctantly packed up and as we left, I noticed Jess looking back into the cabin a few seconds before we locked the door for the last time. When she turned to the car, I spotted a tiny tear sliding down one cheek. I leaned over, lightly pulled her chin towards me and gave her a soft, loving kiss.
“You OK?”
“Uh-huh. Kinda sad to leave. It’s a special spot.”
“Mmm-hmm. But there’ll be others, I’m sure.”
“But this was the first place and it’ll always be special.”
“We can come back, you know.”
“I’d like that. Maybe on an anniversary…”
And for the first time in my life, I did not head for the exits when a woman talked about the long term. I looked forward to our anniversary and many more.
On the next weekend she told me ‘we have to talk.’ I was nervous and worried what she might bring up but I took a deep breath before responding.
“What’s on your mind?”
“Theo, I’ll be rather blunt. Once I told my bestie about you, she warned me you have quite the reputation here in town.”
“Reputation?”
“Yeah, and it’s not the best, quite frankly.”
“How’s that?”
“It seems you have a tendency to love ’em and leave ’em.”
“Oh. I see…”
“Now, I’m not about to judge anyone on what others say and I can’t say I was a blushing virgin, not by a long shot, but I want to make sure we’re on the same page.”
“And what page is that?”
“Well, two pages, actually. The first is that if you’re looking at me like another notch in your belt, then I want out right now. No hard feelings, but I don’t want to get hurt. I like you. A lot. And I could see myself getting close to you so I don’t want to be another short-term plaything that you plan on dropping.”
“Jess, I don’t plan on doing that at all. Listen, that first night at Orca Cove was fabulous. Don’t get me wrong, the sex was great but I found myself closer to you than I have ever been with another, ever!”
“So….?”
“So, I have no plans on dumping you. I want to see where this goes.”
“Good. And that brings up number two. Exclusive. We’ve gotta be exclusive.”
“That’s a given. I want to spend more time with you and like I said, I want to see where this goes. Is that OK with you, Girlfriend?”
“I’m your girlfriend?” she asked with a cute little smile.
“Yup.”
“Good, Boyfriend, good to know. Now can we seal the deal,” she laughed as she pulled me towards my bedroom.
“Only if you insist.”
“I do. And I expect satisfaction,” she laughed.
We got together as often as possible but the firm was even more demanding of my time. I believe Jess understood those demands as she would frequently come over and let herself into my townhouse and have a meal waiting for me when I dragged home late in the evening. She never complained about it and at least our weekends were for us. I was willing to pull long hours for the firm but only Monday through Friday afternoon but I refused to take work home on Friday evening.
Without consciously planning for it, we ended up having a weekly TGIF celebration. It was not anything fancy or special but we would get together, have a glass of wine or two at her place or mine, and use the time to nurture our relationship. There were weeks where I was so busy that I got home after nine or ten pm each night and my only contact with her was a daily quick call or a text. That is why the Fridays were so special.
Our relationship evolved and became stronger and closer despite the demands on my time. After nine or so months, I was beginning to think of our relationship in more permanent terms. I was even kicking around in my mind if I should pop the question when she dropped a surprise on me.
“Ah, Honey,” she said one night as we were finishing our wine, “I’ve got a bit of a dilemma.”
“Oh? What’s that?”
“My lease is about up and I’m wondering about renewing…”
“Don’t! Don’t renew.”
“Don’t?”
“Yeah. Why don’t we live together?”
“Serious?”
“Uh-huh. Serious. We’d save money but more importantly I’d love waking up with you seven days a week and not just two or three.”
“You’re not just talking.”
“No. Let’s do it. The only question I have is do we live here or find a place that’s ‘ours’?”
“In general, I think it’s best that a new place be chosen. That way it isn’t ‘yours’ and I’m just living here. It would be ours. But this is such a nice townhouse and I’d love living here with you.”
“You would?”
“Mmm-hmm, just so long as I get to decorate.”
“Mi casa es su casa. Let’s do it.”
Over the next month Jess moved her things into the townhouse. She replaced some of my ratty furnishings with things from her place, her bed went into the second bedroom and she practically outfitted the entire kitchen with her newer kitchenware. In no time at all, it was clearly ‘our’ place and not mine. We set up a common household account to pay bills and because we shared expenses, our individual financial situations improved.
But it was the increasing closeness which counted the most. I would still drag home late some nights and find a small meal to nuke waiting for me and, more importantly, a wonderful woman patiently waiting for my return. If I was not too tired, we would make love but the closeness of sleeping together was what truly mattered. I loved rolling over at night and letting my hand softly rub her butt before I drifted back to sleep. And waking up to an expert blow job was a great way to start the day. And yes, I returned the favor some mornings, waking her up with my tongue parting her folds and tasting her sweet moisture.
After we had been together for nearly a year, my work suddenly became far more demanding. One of the partners retired and another junior associate quit the firm, leaving us short-handed. I was still on track to becoming a partner but there were expectations one had to work for a certain number of years before partnership would be offered. As a result, I and several of the other juniors were simply dumped on. Our already busy load became onerous but we all accepted it, after all, we wanted that partnership.
For a few months I continued my personal policy of no work on weekends and Jess and I kept on pretty much as before. True, there were fewer rolls in the hay on weeknights as I was coming home later and later. She got into the habit of calling me around nine pm to see how I was doing and to ask when to expect me to come home. Sometimes those little video-chats were the only time I would see her awake for more than forty-eight hours. I missed her but the job demands were too great to ignore.
Then came the dreaded weekend. Our firm was representing a large business which was suing one of its subcontractors. The money on the table was huge. The business was asking for some thirty million in damages and our firm stood to take in one quarter of it if we won. Everyone in the office was tense and working extra hard to flush out the details of the suit. Even though we thought we had enough time, the judge suddenly told everyone to ‘fish or cut bait’ and set a trial date for a mere three weeks down the line. That was way, way too little time but we had to get the work done. Depositions, interviews, site surveys, you name it, all had to be done in short order.
And I brought my work home on Friday. You could have cut the tension with a knife once Jess realized why I had my briefcase and laptop with me. I admitted our little TGIF celebration would have to be postponed until after the trial, ate a sandwich for dinner and sat down to do work. Around eleven I staggered up to bed to find Jess asleep, rolled over on her side facing the wall. The symbolism was not lost on me. I knew she was pissed and she had every right to be. But I could not ignore the firm’s desire to clean up over seven million.
The next morning when I woke up, she was gone. She had left a little note saying she was going to go shopping with a girlfriend of hers and hoped I could use the time to get my work done. By late that afternoon I still had not heard from her and began to worry a tiny bit but did not feel I should call her. After all, it was my fault, right? I texted her asking if she was coming home and what I should make for dinner. Her response was curt.
r u done w work
N
will stay with Trish 4 dinner, c u later
I knew I was in trouble. She was pissed and rightfully so. We had a ‘deal,’ an understanding the weekends were for us and I violated that deal. I ate a sandwich, drank a beer and went back to working on the case.
Around nine pm she came through the door. Although it was warm outside, her icy demeanor told me I was in trouble. I closed my computer and went to greet her. She accepted my hug but turned her face away from me when I went to kiss her.
“You’re pissed.”
“Yeah, I am.”
“You get it though, don’t you…?”
“What I get is your job is more important to you than I am, that’s what I get. Dammit, Theo, I put up with your long hours five days a week but I thought we’d at least have our weekends together. I love you and I want to be with you and not just some shadow of the guy I once knew.”
“You’re right. You’re absolutely right. I don’t… I don’t know what to do. This is a huge case and we’re short at work. The demands are there, like it or not.”
“OK. How long is this going to go on?”
“The trial’s in two more weeks. It should last about a week, maybe a few days more.”
“So, I can expect to have a roomie I never see for three more weeks?”
“I’ll still be here…”
“Working your ass of and ignoring me!”
“I won’t ignore you, honest.”
“Well, you’ll be too busy to pay me much attention.”
“Yeah, I guess,” I admitted meekly.
“Tell you what. I think I need a vacation. I’m going to go home and visit my folks and relax. You call me when the trial’s over and I’ll come back, but not a day before.”
“You serious?”
“Very. And when I get back, we, you and I gotta talk.”
“OooKaay. When are you leaving?”
“My flight leaves at eleven.”
“What? OK, I’ll give you a ride.”
“No need, I’ll Lyft it. I don’t want to waste any of your precious time.”
Sarcasm and anger were dripping from her every word. She did allow me to give her a hug when the driver tooted his horn and suddenly, she was gone.
As I had a great deal of difficulty concentrating for the rest of the evening, I threw in the towel and hit the sack. After sleeping with her for so long, it felt weird being in bed alone. And I missed her. I lay there thinking over our, my situation and I realized I was being squeezed between two competing forces: my work and my girlfriend. And I hated it but could not figure a way to work things out. The case was huge, we were short-handed and I was an essential player in the firm’s team. And I was in love with a wonderful woman who reasonably demanded a fair share of my time. I tossed and turned for most of the night before falling asleep around three or four.
I will not go into detail about the next three weeks. I worked my ass off, called Jess each evening to say ‘Hi’ and got increasingly nervous. I was nervous about the trial but more about Jess. Her voice was soft and she was polite on each call but the warmth was missing. I tried to be as upbeat as possible and kept telling myself all would work out in the end.
The trial was, in a way, a letdown. We stomped ’em. The jury was out only for three hours and ruled unanimously in our client’s favor. The elation I felt initially was tempered by the knowledge Jess was returning and we would have to have our little talk. I picked her up at the airport and took her out to dinner. We talked mainly about her family and her trip. She knew we had won the case but I did not think it was such a great idea to review the case since it was part of the reason we were in trouble.
After dinner we drove home and settled in on the couch. I offered her a glass of wine and readied myself for ‘the talk.’ Instead, she surprised me by crawling on my lap and kissing me deeply. We swapped spit for a while and after I found myself getting truly turned on, she reached down, felt me and whispered, “I missed him. And he owes me big.”
She dragged me back to the bedroom where we had fabulous make-up sex. We laughed, teased, kissed, licked and stroked until we were both on edge. My orgasm was over the top and I believe hers was as well. Once we recovered and brushed our teeth, we crawled back into bed. I was on my back while she had her head on my chest. I gently ran my fingers through her hair and lightly stroked her back. As I was drifting asleep, she whispered “I love you, Theo, and I don’t want to ever have this kind of thing happen again.”
“I love you, too, and I promise it won’t. Good-night, Love.”
“Night.”
It was during our second cup of coffee in the morning that she cleared her throat and looked me in the eye. “You made a big promise last night. Do you intend on keeping it?”
“Yes, I do.”
“And if they hit you with another case like that, what’ll you do?”
“I don’t know. I think what I should do is go to both Jenkins and Thomas and let them know that I can’t be doing that again.”
“What about your partnership?”
“I may not qualify but if I appeal to their good senses, they’ll let me stay as a junior associate.”
“Somehow, Theo, I don’t see you doing that. You love law, you love your work and I can’t see you dropping that one goal you’ve had ever since you started there.”
“Maybe that goal has shifted since I met you.”
“Maybe.”
She did not sound convinced and I have to confess I wasn’t convinced myself. Then she hit me with the big one.
“Look, Honey, I can’t do this again. I know you’re a good lawyer and you’ve got a lot of pressure to do well, but you’ve got me to consider. I’m not some prima donna demanding everything go my way all the time but if we’re going to be a couple, then we’ve got to be a couple. And that means we are together. We don’t have to do everything together but spending days and nights apart in the same house, well, that’s not a couple.”
I admitted she was right and promised to talk with the big guys. When I told them about my situation, they appeared surprised. Jenkins was a bachelor and had never had a spouse to deal with and Thomas was a bit cavalier about the whole thing. After talking with him I wondered what his wife and home life must be like. They both wanted me to continue to work hard and dangled the partnership in front of me. I was honored by their faith in me but was concerned about how it might all play out in the end.
For the next several months things went well between Jess and me. We settled back into our same lifestyle including our little TGIF sessions and the weekends were strictly for us. I still worked late on many nights but she understood and accepted that, so long as we were together for the whole weekend. We took a couple of trips, one to Hawaii for a week and another to little ski lodge in British Columbia. I admit the skiing sucked due to bad snow conditions but we made up for it by spending quality time together in bed.
Her work was going well. She was still sent on assignments from her firm but they were usually for a few days and never impacted our weekends together. I admit when she was gone, I would work extra late trying to get ahead of the ever-increasing pile of paperwork.
Then it happened. I fucked up. I fucked up royally. It was another big case, this time a criminal case to which I was appointed co-counsel with Mr. Thomas. I was proud to have been chosen but I knew it would be a huge time-suck. Somehow, I naively believed I was smart enough I could take care of everything and not impact the home situation. I was wrong. And in retrospect, I should have declined the appointment but I was so intimidated by my bosses that I could not turn them down. At home I downplayed the news and mentioned only I would be a little busier than usual. I tried to do it all on the weeknights, really, I did. I even got up earlier to do some of the work before leaving for the office.
I sensed Jess knew I was struggling but she never confronted me on it. We still had our weekends together and superficially, everything was hunky-dory. But I was slowly sinking in the paperwork. It was one Saturday morning when she slept in that I pulled my computer out and logged onto the firm’s site. I thought I would do a few little things while she was asleep and log off when I heard her get up.
“What are you doing?”
The cold words startled me. I had not heard her get up and when she walked up behind me, there was no way I could hide what I was doing.
“Just a little paperwork while you were sleeping. No big deal.”
“Ah, it is a big deal because we had a deal. Dammit, Theo, we had a deal!”
Her voice was more strident with each word and I knew things were going to get ugly. I tried to reassure her I was still there for her on the weekend but she felt my mind would be distracted and I therefore was not ‘there for her’ at all. On our previous episode she had been hurt but now she was angry and was not appeased with all my reassurances and promises. Needless to say, the rest of the weekend was fairly unpleasant. She declined to go out that evening and took a long bath before going to bed early. It was clear sex was off the table. She was a little warmer on Sunday and I hoped it would all pass over.
Well, it didn’t. For the next weeks I felt like I was waiting for the other shoe to drop. The waiting, however, was nearly unbearable. We talked about little things like who was shopping for groceries and the latest episode of our favorite TV show. Sex was not nearly as fun, frequent or sensual and it was as if we were going through the motions. I tried, I tried hard, to break through to her, to get her back on track and even though she superficially seemed to, I could tell deep down she wasn’t the same person. Eventually I quit trying and once I did, I knew it was over and sooner or later, we would split.
When the paperwork became overwhelming, I didn’t even try to hide it anymore. I brought it home and stayed up late working on it and eventually I would spend hours on the weekends tackling it as well. Any time she saw it, the temperature in the room would drop forty degrees and she would quit talking to me for the rest of the day. We did not scream and shout, we did not throw things and we did not fight. We simply let the air slowly seep out of the ever-flattening tire.
The trial was a success. Mr. Thomas was beyond ecstatic and bragged on me and my contributions to everyone in the office but I was unable to even talk about it at home. About a week after the trial was over, Jess casually asked about how it was going. When I told her it had been successful, she got pissed I hadn’t told her. I tried to reassure her I did not want to burden her with more of my work issues but it apparently was not the answer she wanted.
That following Friday, she begged out of our TGIF celebration and instead went to a movie with one of her work buddies. I was asleep when she came home but when she crawled into bed with me, I could smell the alcohol on her breath. I was surprised as I had never seen her drink heavily.
The next morning, I got up early and did some chores around the place while I waited for her to wake up. I figured she needed to sleep after her drinking the night before. Around eleven I was getting a little concerned but relaxed when I heard her in the shower. Twenty minutes later she came into the living room with two suitcases and her large tote bag.
“Good-bye, Theo. I’ll be back tomorrow around two with a couple of friends to get my bigger stuff. I would appreciate it if you would be gone at that time. I’ll leave the key on the counter.”
And that was it. No screaming, no yelling, no tears. I was not even surprised since she had emotionally checked out of the relationship weeks earlier. I nodded yes and gave her a big, warm hug while whispering in her ear, “I’m so, so sorry. You have every reason to hate me.”
“I don’t hate you. I love you. It’s just that we can’t live together, not with you being married to your job. Take care, Theo.”
And she was gone.
—–
Today might be the day that you walked away,
But you left me a long, long time ago.
—–
I was not surprised she left, indeed I felt she had checked out of the relationship weeks earlier. The signs had all been there but it was still devastating. I barely functioned for the next few days and even took a couple of days off from work to try and pull myself together. I told Mr. Thomas about my situation and was somehow not surprised when he simply shrugged as if it were no big deal and started talking about a new case he had. I had no contact from Jess after the morning she left and I found myself wanting to call her several times a day but I knew it would not be well accepted. Eventually, I deleted her number so as not to be tempted.
The surprising thing about the whole situation was my attitude about work. Suddenly, I simply didn’t give a shit about the firm anymore and realized I no longer wanted to be a partner there. I still liked being a lawyer but somehow the pressure cooker legal world had lost its luster. One day I was sitting at my desk staring out the window when my secretary Julie walked in. She was a smart woman in her early forties, mother to a couple of great kids and wife of a hard-working paramedic.
“Ted, is it Jess or is there something more going on in that head of yours?”
“Both, I guess.”
“Can I give some motherly advice? Well, too bad,” she responded after I shook my head, “I’m giving it anyway. First, you’ll get over Jess. Eventually, but not right away. Time heals everything, yada, yada, yada.”
“Yeah, I know. But I, but she was the first and only woman I’ve ever truly loved.”
“And I’m sorry for you. However, here’s the bigger recommendation. You’re not happy here. You’ve done well, made the right moves, you’re successful but this place isn’t for you.”
“But what would I do if I left?”
“You’re smart and a damn good lawyer. You’ll land on your feet.”
“The next firm may be just as bad.”
“Well, then go solo. Be your own boss. Set your own schedule. But don’t sit here any longer wasting your life away in a situation you don’t like and which helped ruin your life.”
That little conversation blew fresh air on the smoldering embers of my discontent. I kicked around what it might be like to be on my own. I could not expect to do big cases but maybe I could help regular people like that first fellow I represented years before. And there were plenty of people who needed a will or help with simple legal issues such as divorce or property disputes. At my bank I got a promise for a signature loan to help me get started and found a little storefront office near my townhouse.
When I told Jenkins and Thomas about my decision, they were surprisingly accommodating. They were used to junior partners and associates coming and going and they both wished me the best. I was offered a modest termination payment in recognition of my work on those two big cases and we shook hands on an informal arrangement of mutual referrals. They would send me smaller cases and if I had someone come in needing a big firm, I would refer them on to J and T.
Julie was not surprised when I told her the news and she admitted she would miss me. The firm was big enough for her to keep her job but she did voice some concerns about her long-term prospects with them. I went back to Thomas and Jenkins and requested their approval to take her with me. Once they agreed and I offered her the job, we both left J and T and have been a great team ever since. And months later when her husband was moved to the evening shift, I volunteered to coach her kid’s soccer team. Because it was so different from everything I was doing at work, it proved to be a wonderful change of pace. I found myself invited to dinner by several of the parents, some of whom tried to set me up with women they knew. I respectfully declined as I wanted to avoid any romantic entanglements. Plus, I still had not recovered from Jess’ leaving me.
—–
After our little meeting at the coffee shop, I could not quit thinking about Jess. My mind would drift back to our time together, the good times, that is, and I wondered how she might have changed. She sure looked good and once she had relaxed a bit, I could still see the old Jess I had loved madly before I screwed things up. Yeah, I still loved her, to be completely honest.
I must have been really distracted because Julie called me on it one afternoon. “Ted, what’s going on? You’re walking around here like a love-sick calf and you’re not concentrating on your work.”
I tried to deny it. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m fine.”
“I call bullshit. I’m a mom and we’re professional bullshit detectors. And that last letter you wrote was so full of errors, I almost made you redo it. You’re lucky I was able to edit it and save you the hassle.”
“Look, Julie, if I’m not doing my job right, let me know but please don’t pry into my business. And thanks for correcting the letter, by the way.”
“Ah hah! I knew it. You said ‘business.’ Something is going on.”
“Nothing is going on.”
“OK, I’ll ask it another way. Who is she?”
I paused a few seconds before deciding to tell her. “Jessica.”
“The Jessica?”
“Yeah.”
“And why are you thinking about her now? I thought you were slowly getting over her.”
“Yeah, well, she ran into me the other day, we chatted for maybe ten minutes and I told her about my career change. She asked I give her a call.”
“And?”
“Well, I don’t know if I should.”
“Jesus, Ted, you’re an established and respected lawyer. You can get a jury on your side with no trouble and now you’re too nervous to talk with her even after she asked you to call? Sometimes I just don’t understand you men!”
“So, you think I should?”
“Hell, yes, you should. And if you are still in love with her, and I bet you are from the way you’ve been moping around here lately, you had better bring you’re A-game if you wanna have any chance at all.”
“Let me think about it…”
I stewed and worried for the next three days. I tossed and turned for those same three nights. By then it had been nearly two weeks since we had met at the coffee shop and I knew I had to do something. One evening I sat down, drank a stiff slug of scotch to calm my nerves and picked up the phone.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Jess, it’s me.”
“Decided to finally give me a call?”
“Uh, yeah. I wanted to have something to say before I called.”
“And now you have something to say?”
“Uh-huh.”
“OK, out with it.” I could practically hear her smile through the phone.
“Jess, I, uh, I’ve missed you. Terribly. I miss you, plain and simple. And I still love you, madly love you. So, I’d like to get together with you sometime and talk. About maybe trying again. I’m not the same guy that I was. I’ve changed.”
“I’ll say you’ve changed. You’re driving a Subaru,” she hooted.
I ignored her laughter and nervously plowed on. “I’d like to make some reservations and wanted to ask if you’d be willing to go with me to where we could be alone, you know, just you and me, no work, no computers, no interruptions and have time to talk, to reconnect, you know, see if there might still be an ‘us’. Interested?”
“Mmm, maybe. Where?”
“Orca Cove.”
“You want to take me to the place where we first made love, the place where I fell in love with you, right?” The excitement in her voice was obvious to hear.
“Uh-huh.”
“And you want to go there and just talk?”
“Well, uh, we could, you know, do other things. Look for seashells, walk the beach, things like that.”
“I’ll go on one condition.”
“What’s that?”
“Included in those ‘other things’ better be some quality time in bed,” she giggled.
“You mean…?”
“Yes, Theo, I’d love to go and talk and reconnect and do some other things, to use your words.”
“Uh, when?”
“Is tomorrow too soon?”
—–
“Oooh, keep doing that but a little harder. Yesss, oooh, like that!”
I was kneeling behind Jess and pounding her doggy style, harder and faster, just like she wanted. From above, I enjoyed looking down at her curvy ass with her tight, little rosebud. Her sleek back as well as the red splotches spreading across her shoulders also drew my eyes. But as we made love in that same old bed on our seventh night at Orca Cove, the thing I liked looking at the most was the new diamond solitaire she wore on her left ring finger.
—–
Trionyx – June 2023
—–
The studio version of Willie Nelson’s songYou Left Me a Long, Long Time Ago features an interesting dichotomy between the happy mood of the instrumentation (upbeat tempo and light piano playing) and the sad lyrics. Some of his other versions, one with Brenda Lee in particular, have a somber instrumentation more in keeping with the theme of a relationship which had crumbled and died well before the actual separation.