At my doctor’s office. Annual checkup. Doctor went over the blood and urine test results with me, which is the beginning of my horror story.
“Everything looks good,” she declared, “except you have an abnormally really high PSA reading, which means we need to investigate your prostate gland. You’re very young to be in this situation. I’m going to refer you to a Urologist for that next step.”
She then asked, “have you been having difficulty getting an erection, and if so, for how long?”
Confession time. I told her about our sex life, me and my beautiful and loving wife Lily. “We’ve been married five years and have been very happy. My Lily is very highly sexed and very desirable, so we’ve been going at it like happy rabbits, very inventive, anything goes. Wonderful!”
I paused to gather my words, with dreamy memories flooding my mind. Not memories to share with the doctor, memories for me to savour alone. Memories of multiple orgasms in a single night, of our first time doing anal which we both loved (and continued to do), of fucking under the trees at a company picnic, of her enthusiastically sucking my cock, and swallowing, of different positions… Definitely too much information!
Then I continued, “but for the past year things have been getting difficult. Started with me not being able to achieve orgasm or having dry orgasms without ejaculating. Then about six months ago I started to go soft prematurely, and we couldn’t achieve penetration. Really frustrating for us both, especially Lily!” I paused, not knowing what to say next. Didn’t want to confess that oral stimulation to orgasm (me eating Lily’s cunt, tonguing her clitoris) had been our ‘solution’. If that’s the word for it. Solution for her maybe. Not for me.
“Hmmm,” said the doctor, “be sure to tell this, in detail, to the Urologist when you see her.”
Her? Another woman doctor, to whom I’d be laying bare my most intimate parts?
Yes, a female Urologist. Young, highly skilled, sympathetic, and by the way, very beautiful. Like my Lily. I won’t bore you readers with the clinical details — more PSA testing, bladder investigation (by a tiny camera inserted into my bladder through my cock!). Then a biopsy (very uncomfortable!) conducted up my asshole with a metal speculum. Daily pills to regulate my bladder function. Finally, an MRI scan of my lower abdomen. Then the verdict.
Cancer. Radical prostatectomy. Complete removal. “If we’re lucky, the cancer won’t have spread beyond the prostate gland, and no chemo or radiation will be needed,” she reassured me. She was right. We were lucky. I returned home after my hospital stay with a vertical scar in the centre of my lower stomach, from my bellybutton to my pubic bone.
I had to share all this with Lily, particularly the most worrying news, received from my urologist. “She told me that post-operation erectile disfunction will continue, probably for as long as eighteen months, possibly permanently. Damn!!” My shoulders slumped.
Lily leapt into my arms to console me. “We have a wonderful life together, now and into the future! I love you! This will not get to us!” Her fervent kisses almost convinced me that it was true. I wanted it to be true because I loved her too. She was, and is, so entrancingly beautiful. Not too tall (5 feet 6 inches), slim, shapely, dark lustrous hair, enchanting smile, lovely C-cup breasts, and a cunt to die for, to dive into, to die within…
Let me pass over the post-operative recovery, the ensuing long months of impotence. I would lie awake at night for hours, depressed, thinking about my beautiful wife and all the loving that we would not have, perhaps never would be able to have again. Some mornings I would roll over, hug her, whisper ‘I love you. I really want to fuck you. But I can’t!’ Then she would take me in her arms, lie on her back, open her legs really really wide, raise her knees, and invite me to go down on her. The joy that I experienced from her orgasms almost made me forget that I wasn’t having one, probably never have one again.
Almost. But I couldn’t forget.
Lily’s sympathetic patience overwhelmed me. I discovered that while I could not have an erection, I could masturbate my soft or semi-hard cock and achieve a dry semi-orgasm after a lot of effort. I shared this with Lily. “I read erotic stories on Literotica while I jerk myself off,” I explained, “and the ones that really do it for me involve whippings, spankings or canings. This tells me something about myself, I guess. I wonder if, subconsciously, I don’t want to be punished because of my failure.”
“First if all, you haven’t failed! It’s something you couldn’t have done anything about. And second, surely your inability to get hard enough to fuck me is punishment enough!’
I thought about this for a minute. “My inability to fuck you is punishing us both, not just me,” I replied. My subconscious is telling me that I need some additional punishment, some special punishment, because I have failed you. If I buy some whips or canes or something, would you use them on me?”
After a lot of persuasion, and convincing that spankings might help me, Lily reluctantly agreed. I went onto the Literotica online store and bought a riding crop, a flogger, a paddle, and a punishment cane. Then came the big day. I laid these weapons out on our bed, stripped naked, crawled onto a couple of pillows under my hips to raise my ass nicely into position for punishment.
I called out. “Lily, would you come in here please?”
Lily came. Silence, a long pause, while she took in the scene. “W-w-what do you want me to do?”
“Five whacks, with each of three implements. You choose which three. Hit me as hard as you like.”
She undressed herself, declaring “we’ll have no barriers between us! This punishment will be inflicted by one as naked as you are!” Then she picked up the paddle. Gave me five love-taps with it, on my ass. Her breasts moved enticingly in sync with the motion of her right arm.
“Next one, much harder, please Lily!!” She picked up the riding crop, and gave me five more whacks, moderately harder. The little leather loop on the end of the crop really stung, left marks on me for about a week.
“Last one. Five lashes, as hard as you can. Please!!” She picked up the cane.
“As hard as I can. Here goes!!” she exclaimed and swung the punishment cane. I heard the “swish” through the air and then WHACK!!!! Agonizing!!! “W-was that hard enough?”
“Yes!” I agreed, then closed my eyes and settled myself to endure the final four lashes, which really hurt! I rolled over onto my back and began to give myself a hand job. “The pain in my ass, the knowledge that you caused it, is very exciting…I think I’ll come to a climax quite quickly.” I continued stroking, while Lily got onto the bed, gathered me in her arms, and gave me a furious kiss. I came, groaning through my dry orgasm. Big deal, but an orgasm.