“Camille, all of my friends have been women as you know. It’s a number greatly reduced because you are so jealous of them.”
“It’s not normal, Stephen. You’re supposed to hang out with other men, bullshit all the time, play golf and buy things.”
“Well, that’s a flattering picture. I didn’t know you thought so little of me.”
“I feel threatened by your friends. A strong, confident women with brains is someone that wives dread. Which one of your friends will be the second Mrs. Bart after I’m divorced and gone?”
We were on the opposite sides of the table, each holding onto a chair back. The table between us was a good stand-in for the gulf there was between us at that moment. How long had she been thinking this? What else did she tell her women friends that she wasn’t telling me? I felt sad, feeling the shape of that gulf, that yawning crevasse that separates men and women as well as husband and wife. I turned and went to the bedroom to change my clothes.
Afterwards I said to her, “we need to clear the air.” We sat opposite each other in the family room. I could just feel this gulf between us. How do we bridge it? Could we bridge it? “Why Camille? Why do you trust so little?”
“It’s my insecurities, I guess. You’ve had great friends, strong, intelligent friends with accomplishments. They make my friends look pale beside them. I wanted you to push them away, to spend more time with me, bond with me more.”
“I’ve tried to do that. I reluctantly stopped seeing Barbara or Christina. That only left Ann and, to some extent, Paula. And you still thought I was having an affair with Ann.”
“You just spend so much time with her!” Camille exclaimed.
“I’m home every night other than the one evening with her a month. That’s not a lot of time.”
“But you’re on the phone with her as well.”
“That’s what friends do, spend time together.” I could tell she was upset and angry. “I don’t know what else to say.” With that, I grabbed keys and wallet and left. My friendship with Ann was damaged beyond repair, all over a rumor. My time with her came to an end.
The gulf between Camille and me wasn’t going away. In light of my friendship with Ann being poisoned beyond my ability to heal it, I added to that gulf by resuming my friendship with Barbara and Christina. I had lost one friend but resumed two more, Camille’s insecurities be damned. She glared at me when I told her. She glared even more when I told her why I had resumed their friendships and told her it was her problem, deal with it. The gulf between us was now the Grand Canyon in width. I was gone more to spend time with friends and catch up on our lives as my friends were my life now. My married life disappeared. My former social circle excluded me. They had chosen Camille for their group, not me.
I filed for divorce and moved out. We would split everything fifty fifty. She was outraged because we would sell the house. She had the option to keep it as her half of the proceeds but she couldn’t afford it on her own. The house was part of her social being, her image. Now it was no more. I was ready for a new beginning. I rented a small house and moved everything to it. We had each gone through the house and tagged things we wanted. Items with two tags were put on a list that we negotiated. Un-tagged items would be donated. It was almost painless though there were fights about paintings and photographs, for goodness sake. Who cares about who gets what? She fought just to piss me off. Eventually I smiled and said take them all, I’ll start over. That REALLY pissed her off. But we were done, the house sold, the proceeds of our life together divided..
I gained a new friend as well. Sarah was from work, though in a different division that was also headquartered in the same building. I met her by chance, colliding with her in a hallway and our papers ended up intermixed. I found where she worked and took to her pages that had been included in what I had. She thanked me and invited me to sit and talk for a minute. The minute became an hour and we agreed on a further conversation when we met outside of work.
With Paula, Barbara, Christina and now Sarah my life was full. In my dinners with each of them I now invited another so they could meet. In time they all met each other through dinner or outings. It was just a good time. I was glad to be freed of what had become a loveless marriage. I can’t think of a reason my ex-wife and I will ever talk again.
My friends moved forward. Christina had a new beau and I saw and heard less from her. Paula and Barbara were old friends. We’ve been together for years now. Sarah was new. She was as smart as they come and I heard she had been ticketed for great things. A minority woman checked two diversity promotions at once. I could understand the desire to bump her up the hierarchy. We had great times though we both lacked the time to see each other often. I was promoted within my group. I received congratulations from all.
She was congratulating me on my promotion the next time we met.
“Yours is coming soon,” I told her with a smile.
“But today we celebrate yours,” she replied. “I’m buying dinner tonight, you can buy at my celebration.”
“Isn’t it nice to have your promotion foreordained?”
“Oh stop. I’ll earn mine the old fashioned way, work, work, work.”
“Your division management is 91% male, 87% white male. You don’t think your ticket has been punched already? I do. So sit back and enjoy the ride to the executive suite.”
She was promoted all right, just not within her division. She was my new boss. That upset things. She was almost beside herself telling me she hated this and hoped it wouldn’t affect our friendship.
“Nah, you’ll figure out pretty soon I’ve been loafing for the last year,” I said with a smile. “How else do I have time for my women friends?”
“You’re awful. I may have to put you on paid leave for insubordination. Friends in here, professional associates out there, agreed?
“Sure thing, boss lady”
“So tell me how it’s been going here.”
“You’re here because Charles was in over his head. He had difficulty delegating and micromanaged everyone and everything. He was absolutely sure he was right and knew the way forward. Productivity is low and morale is worse. You’ve got three main reports besides me and they could be good in the right environment. Take my admin assistant, Georgia, she’s smart and a whiz at keeping priorities straight. She keeps my calendar, prepares me well for meetings and in general has made life so much more bearable. I’ll find another one.”