Her thoughts were interrupted by the arrival at the restaurant. They made their way in and ordered a glass of wine while waiting for the server to take their order.
“I am glad you could make it to dinner tonight Katie. I have a long international call tomorrow evening and then Wednesday I also believe I am tied up. I wanted to see you before the next couple of days didn’t allow us to see each other.”
He felt a little guilty at the last statement as Wednesday evening he had planned to literally tie himself up. He did say it in the sentence but then grouped the plan with Tuesday night’s call, which implied both were out of his control and business related.
His thoughts regarding this were quickly interrupted, “Oh really. Tied up Wednesday. Hmmmm, are you cheating on me Derek?” she teased clearly not being serious.
He hesitated for a moment and then replied, “Not in the least Katie. You are my only muse. However, who knows if I will be truly tied or just metaphorically speaking?” leaving the mystery hang in the air.
“Well, I know you have lots of experience, so I will not worry about you. Or should I?” she asked.
“Not in the least. I can assure you I play safe.”
“Why do you do that to yourself if I can ask? Again, not assuming that is truly what you are doing but you have mentioned it before.”
“Yes, probably good for me to explain. First, finding a person whom you can trust with such an intimate situation as erotic bondage is extremely difficult. The subject just doesn’t come up in everyday conversation. These things take time to develop, although your trust in me did accelerate and I truly appreciate that. Once again, I will never break that trust. So, having a partner is very difficult to find.
“Also, regarding the act itself,” he continued. “We have spoken about my desire for the buildup, the excitement, the anticipation and pushing boundaries to places you didn’t know existed. Normal romance or self-play is wonderful, I don’t need this all the time. But every now and then I want to push and explore boundaries. I have found that without the bondage aspect, self-control is very difficult, and it is far too easy to give in and ruin the buildup process. Gratification is such a strong need. So over time I began experimenting and learning about bondage and self-bondage to keep my need for gratification at bay while I am being tormented.
“And I suppose that is another part of the equation. Some I believe have a true fetish for the act of bondage, which is fine. I would never judge anyone by their own desires. For me, and now I believe you as well, the bondage is a means of control for the torment. So, the next logical question becomes, how do you torment yourself when you are bound?”
Derek left the question open while he took a sip of wine and watched her intently for her body language or reaction. She had a slight grin and clearly was interested, not put off in the least.
He continued, “I have experimented with different clamps, vibrators and even electric stimulation. All work to a certain degree, but all have the same thing in common, complacency. With any stimulation over time, you begin to become tolerant or less affected by the stimulation than when it first started. Numb isn’t the right word, but you certainly don’t have the same reaction over time. What I have found is the use of timers, or even programs, that add variability to the stimulation to be extremely affective. If you have something on for let’s say two minutes, and then turn it off for three minutes, when it turns back on, that first sensation is back to full blast. That is the key to the torment, variability.”
Katie now looked at him with an intense look and replied, “Derek, you have given this a lot of thought, why does that not surprise me.”
She sat again for a few moments and Derek watched her intently. He had the feeling that something was wrong.
“Does this bother you?” he asked in a quiet and sincere tone.
“Not in the sense you might think,” she replied. “It makes me a little sad that you have to go to such lengths to get the satisfaction and adventure you crave, and no one has been able to help you. Also, truth be told I would be happy to help and might have felt a cringe of disappointment that you haven’t asked.”
He paused thinking about what she had just said. Nothing she said was directed towards the crazy act but was all about the lack of a relationship in his life. Wow, she was very special indeed.
“Katie, I want to thank you for the support you just gave. It means more than you know. I have thought about asking, but right now I want our dynamic to stay with you as the one being controlled. For now. Maybe, and I mean maybe, I might discuss what you could do but I still have a few ideas in mind for your control. But I must say again, thank you.”
She beamed with a smile that clearly represented their growing admiration. She contemplated all that she had learned in the last few minutes and then asked, “So how do you get out? If you are truly bound, then you can’t get out. If you can get out, then you aren’t truly bound and doesn’t that kind of ruin what you’re trying to achieve?”
It was Derek’s turn to smile, and he replied, “Ah… you are really thinking this through. Kudos to you Katie. Very perceptive. The number one, two and three rules in self bondage are safety, safety, and safety. I suppose people could get serious hurt and if bound for a long time, die. The key to safe play is have a reliable release method and a backup plan for when that method doesn’t work.”
“So, knowing you the way I do, I can’t wait to hear about this! You have come up with some crazy yet amazing ideas, so I am sure you have this perfected,” she said with another grin and sip of wine.
“There are a couple of classic ways of self-bondage release. You actually have experienced one already.”
She looked at him for a moment reflecting on all they have experienced and then it hit her, “The melting ice! That’s how you knew how to do that and how long it would take!”
“Exactly, well done again. Melting ice can be used in several ways. You can create resistance to the bondage mechanism like I did with the pantyhose through a small eye loop. You can freeze a key inside a small or large block of ice. You can freeze string that is bunched together that will loosen as the ice melts and perhaps a key is tied to the end of the string initially out of reach. Melting ice is a very good mechanism. Also, it is a little unpredictable regarding how long each setup will take to melt. The variability regarding the time of release is also very exciting.
“There are many more ways, locking a key in small lockbox is good. You scramble the dials to set a new unlock code, take a picture without looking at the number details, and then upload the picture to one of several sites that are made to hide pictures for various reasons, but most are for some sort of bondage.
“Then, you can go so far as to setup something like electromagnetic locks that as long as electricity is applied the magnets stay shut but turn off the power and the magnets release.