Well. Tonight her arms were like rubber, and in a matter of minutes she would be in indescribable pain as the blood made its way back to her extremities. There was little she could do to him tonight, even if she weren’t chained. He went to his closet and retrieved his guitar. When he turned back, Jessica was staring off into a corner of his room. He sat on his bed and began to play.
Jessica leaned her head against the wall and sighed in relief. Thank God she was going to spend the night here instead of Riley’s room. Of all the men, Jimmy was the easiest to tolerate. He rarely bothered with her when they were alone.
She gritted her teeth. Her arms began to tingle. This was going to hurt. It wasn’t the first time she had to endure this pain, but at least Jimmy would leave her alone, not needle her with verbal abuse, or find some way to make the pain worse. All she had to do was concentrate on the corner of his bedroom and clear her mind, and this could be an okay night.
But suddenly, she heard a sound that she hadn’t heard in what seemed an eternity. Without thinking, she looked over at Jim. He sat on his bed, rocking back and forth, watching his fingers move back on forth on the neck of his guitar. Music! She could hardly believe it.
For a moment she forgot where she was, forgot the pain that was building in her arms. She knew how to make those sounds too, she had played the guitar with a passion at home. She even recognized the song.
A noise broke through Jim’s concentration, and it brought him back to reality. He’d forgotten that Jessica was in the room with him. He looked over at her and she was looking at him. She was looking at him and kind of smiling.
Jim stopped playing. Smiling? Yes, she was smiling, and swaying slightly, and there was that noise again. It was low but definitely coming from Jessica. Jim leaned closer. She was humming. He recognized the tune that he’d been playing. Suddenly Jessica realized what she’d been doing and jumped as if she’d been slapped. She sat staring at him, and he stared at her. Jessica’s gaze slid down to Jim’s guitar, and he followed it.
“Do you … you know the song?” Jim asked.
Jessica nodded, still staring at his guitar.
“Do you want me to keep playing?”
Jessica nodded again.
Jim couldn’t believe it. All of these months of getting nowhere, and it turns out that his biggest passion could get a positive response from Jessica?
Without hesitation, Jim began playing again. Jessica closed her eyes and swayed. Jim could tell by some of the contortions on her face that her arms were killing her, but Jessica never stopped her swaying. Jim played song after song, and Jessica swayed. He was able to tell exactly when her pain subsided, because her facial contortions were replaced by a look of serenity.
That was something he had never seen before. It wasn’t until Jessica fell gently against the bedpost, asleep, that Jim stopped playing. He looked at the clock. Two hours. He had played, and she had swayed, for two hours.
He put his guitar away, turned out the light, and lay back on his bed. Despite how tired he was, excitement coursed through him. For the first time since Jessica had come here, Jim felt hope. Hope that things were going to get better. The constant tension and hatred emanating around them all of the time was beginning to wear on him. He lay thinking of ways to use the music to his advantage. To use it to broker a truce of some kind. He drifted off to sleep with the sweet image of Jessica singing, and laughing. No traces of hatred left on her face.
The next morning Jim stretched, yawned, and rolled to the side of the bed that Jessica was cuffed to. He found her already awake and staring at the ceiling.
His standard greeting of “Morning,” was met with Jessica’s standard silence. He sat up. “How’re your arms?”
Jessica continued to stare at the ceiling.
“Jessica,” Jim said, “Hey, Jessica,” he said snapping his fingers in her line of sight.
Jessica slowly swung her eyes onto Jim. Gone was the dreamy look she’d had the night before.
“My name, “ she said through clenched teeth, “is Lisa.”
Jim sighed and slid onto the floor. He crouched before her.
“Look, I know that. I know your name is Lisa, you know your name is Lisa, Riley, Angus, Josh and Scott know your name is Lisa. But that doesn’t mean anything. We’re calling you Jessica. This has been going on forever and getting you nowhere. Why don’t you do us all a favor and just pretend that your name is Jessica. It’s really not that hard.”
Suddenly, they were back to the staring contest.
“Like I told you yesterday, the leash, the handcuffs, the abuse, all that unpleasantness could disappear, like that …” he said snapping his fingers again, “if you’d just play along.”
“What about my family?” Jessica demanded, “will the bullets that ripped their bodies apart suddenly disappear? Will they suddenly come back to life, and will I suddenly be home?”
It was Jim’s turn to lose the contest. He lowered his eyes, his head. Silence hung in the air.
“No, Jessica. None of that will happen.” He forced his eyes back up to meet hers. He had a sudden image of her spitting at him, but she only sat staring back at him. Her hazel eyes should have been easy to look into, but the anger and hatred he found in them made it anything but easy to maintain eye contact.
“Look. I can’t change the past, but I can play the guitar again for you. Would you like that?”
This time Jessica broke eye contact and turned her face away from him.
“Maybe next time then.” Jim said. “If you’d like, I can play my guitar for you every time you’re here with me. All I ask is that you stop fighting the name, and you stop fighting the leash. At least with me. Just show me some good will. Okay?”
Silence ensued, but Jessica had momentarily looked at him from the corner of her eye. Well, that was something. He didn’t know what, but something.
“Alright then. Let’s get on with the day. Shower time.” Jim got up and went to his chest of drawers and began searching for fresh clothing both for him and for Jessica. Even though the men weren’t willing to follow Angus’ suggestions of letting Jessica walk around naked, neither were they willing to invest in any clothing for her. She wore the mens’ clothes … all way to large.
Jessica snuck a look at him while his back was to her. The words “good will” echoed through her mind. She really didn’t know what to make of him. Who the hell used words like “good will”, especially in this kind of situation? She couldn’t picture Josh or Scott using them, and certainly not Riley or Angus. Just Jim. He turned and smiled when he saw her watching him. Jessica snapped her head down.
“Let’s go,” he said unlocking her cuffs. When she stood, he hooked the leash onto the harness that remained on her body almost 24 hours a day. He walked away from her until the leash went taut, inches from the bedroom door. He stopped and waited. Not knowing why exactly, Jessica took a step forward. And then another. Jim exhaled, having inadvertently held his breath.
In the bathroom, Jim started the shower. Stepping back from the stall, he held the shower curtain open he said, “Ladies first”. Jessica turned her back to him and began to undress. That was something else. Jim was the only one who let her turn her back to him to undress. Jim was the only one that let her undress herself. In fact, Jim was the only one who let her shower by herself.