The next day I was told to stay home and rest! The midwife came to double-check on me over the day to ensure I did not get too stressed.
That night I had a full-on flashback of the rape, feeling in my mind him cuming up me, impregnating me. I woke in tears, my body aching. I had had enough. I sure as hell did not want to have his rape babies. But his rape babies were still in my swollen belly, I still had to carry them about inside me. No, there was nothing that I could do to change that. I cried again.
I had a rough week of crying and trying to stay calm while I was on my bed rest. I kept getting flashbacks at random times, making me very withdrawn and deeply resentful.
Members of the support group came and went cheering me up somewhat before I relapsed back into my morbid state.
Slowly I began to make headway and started to get out of me deep dark moods. I knew I was running out of time to get the spare room turned into a nursery.
Time was running out for me, I was almost 37 weeks pregnant when pain gripped my belly. It was time.
Helen took me into the hospital and stayed with me as I went through my labour.
My babies had arrived, it was now up to me to take care of them and raise them the best I could.