Sarah sighed and nodded.
‘Yeah, I was expecting to do that too. I rehearsed it and everything.’
‘But…?’
‘But… after this talk, I’ve had second thoughts.’
Sarah met Becky’s gaze and seemed to make a point of not looking away. Becky frowned and said softly:
‘You want to sleep with Bryan again.’
‘I don’t know what I want,’ said Sarah quickly. ‘But I know that I don’t want to be the one to end this. If you and Bryan say no, I’ll be fine with that. I will accept your decision and gladly be your friend. But I’ll be honest with you, Becky… I’d rather have this than nothing at all.’
Becky looked aghast. Sarah smiled.
‘Did that sound too pathetic?’ she said.
‘I wasn’t thinking that.’
‘Liar.’
Sarah looked utterly unfazed. She leant close to Becky and lowered her voice.
‘All right, let me put it another way,’ she said. ‘Bryan is a wonderful lover and you are something of a sex goddess. If you both were to invite me into your bed on a semi-regular basis, I would consider myself an extremely lucky woman.’
*************************
‘She said what?’ said Bryan.
It was evening and he had spent that morning doing absolutely nothing, a luxurious activity. When Becky arrived home with an exhausted Tara, they had spent a relaxed, low-key afternoon together as a family. Bryan cooked the evening meal and put Tara to bed, then went to join his wife on the couch in the living room. He sat with his body turned towards her and massaged her bare feet and calves as she told him about her conversation. Becky had her head propped on a cushion, watching the man’s face with half-closed eyes as she talked.
‘Why the frown, my dear?’ she said.
‘Well, I assumed last night was a one-off.’
‘So did I. So did she!’
‘But she wants to do it again? Despite what happened this morning?’
‘That’s what she said.’
Bryan’s hands concentrated on one slender foot, his thumbs gently kneading the arch. He seemed buried in his thoughts.
‘Bryan, you’re still frowning.’
‘Yes. I’m worried we’re playing with fire.’
‘Of course we’re playing with fire! Duh!’
‘Well, in that case–‘
‘Bryan, before the Night of the Great Fuck, we had three years of socially-approved marriage!’ she said. ‘You were the faithful husband; I was the dutiful wife. And we hated it. We hated it! If it wasn’t for that almighty bust-up, we’d be separated by now! Or do you disagree?’
‘No,’ said Bryan. ‘No, I think you’re right.’
Becky withdrew her feet and sat up, cross-legged, looking at her husband with shining eyes.
‘But that night, I discovered that my husband was not the uptight, passive-aggressive, trying-to-be-feminist wanker I thought he was. That underneath all your Nice Guy bullshit, there was a Cave Man, a monster, a man who took what he wanted and didn’t give a shit what anyone thought! Bryan, do you have any idea how exciting it is for a woman to be claimed by a Man?’
Bryan looked at his Woman, no longer frowning. He sat back and spread his arms wide on the back of the couch, sitting like a company director looking at his secretary. He was getting a hard-on.
Becky smiled.
‘You get it, don’t you?’ she said.
‘Yes, I think so,’ he said. ‘But it feels highly selfish.’
‘Of course it’s selfish. It’s meant to be selfish! But you can be selfish and generous at the same time, right?’
Becky climbed onto the man, straddling his lap. As he sat back unmoving, she knelt facing him, her breasts just above eye-level, and rested her forearms on his shoulders.
‘Since last night, I’m not afraid anymore,’ she said. ‘I’m not afraid of losing you, I’m not afraid of you loving another woman, I’m not even afraid if you’re reluctant to trust me.’
‘But I do trust you.’
‘Then prove it.’
‘How?’
‘You make the decision what we do about Sarah. Don’t try to figure out what I might want. Dare to be selfish! And trust me that I trust your love for me.’
Bryan looked up at his beautiful wife, not knowing what to say. She moved down to look him right in the eyes.
‘Be the Man,’ she whispered. ‘Be the Man and I will love you for it.’
*************************
In the morning, Bryan told Becky that he wanted to talk to Sarah one-on-one before making his decision. Becky gave him Sarah’s phone number, he programmed it into his phone, and then they showered and got dressed. They had breakfast with Tara and afterwards prepared to go for a walk in a local park where there was a children’s playground. But as they were putting on their coats, Becky turned to her husband.
‘Why don’t you catch us up?’ she said.
After promising his daughter that he wouldn’t be long, Bryan kissed them and saw them out. Then he stood in the hallway of his house and took a moment to appreciate what a lucky bastard he was. In his youth, Bryan had struggled with insecurity, often wishing he was someone else, but right now being Bryan Sandford was the best fucking job in the world! He wouldn’t swap places with anyone.
He went into the living room, took the phone from his pocket and dialled Sarah’s number. It rang a few times, then went to voicemail. It occurred to Bryan that Sarah wouldn’t recognise his number, so he sent a short text saying ‘It’s Bryan’, put the phone into his pocket and headed for the kitchen to get a drink of fruit juice.