I ask wearily, “Any sharp edges, ticking, or gun powder involved?”
They all laugh and assure me they’re safe.
The first item is a heavy-duty first aid kit. Ok, that could be useful. The next item is a beautifully framed picture for my office that says, “Hunting Season” and then has a big red circle with a slash through it for “No Hunting.” That will end up on my wall. They got me a hand-painted wood duck decoy. It’s incredible quality. They say it’s so people shoot the decoy and not me. That goes on the front of my desk. Then I get a picture frame for placing about a dozen pictures in. When they get the pictures of today printed, they will hang that up as well.
The final item looks like it might hold pool balls and two pool cues. Instead, it will hold several balls from the floor plus two tall tower shields from medieval knights. They’re there for my protection, of course. All in all, it was cute. My family helps unwrap my office, and a few balls are left in my office and the office in general. All day, the people in the office, kick the balls down the aisles and in offices, having a blast. I am positive productivity plummeted today.
I get a big kiss from Sandy at lunchtime.
Speaking of lunch, since the hospital, the women in my life are feeding me like a dying man. I have had some truly unique things for lunch. Each tries to outdo the other. I expected this from Vickie and Jane, their fighting for my attention. Both moms are just as bad, if not worse.
Together, both moms catered the whole office today. That was sweet of them. I spent most of my working day with Vickie, and mom wanted to cuddle with me, while Sophia and Jane wanted to know more about the work we were doing. As they learn more, Sophia especially smiles more and now fully sees how it all works and how easy it will be because I have it all worked out already. The ratios of management and flexibility for the various departments are the key to everything. Well, that and some minor adjusting.
I have charts that say they need X people and managers based on the size and income. Occasionally, I add or remove someone based on the specific company. Mom has added some temporary people to help with major changes or restructuring.
I don’t like doing my family working here at Global, they have no interest in advertising, and they want to spend the day with me. It’s the least I can do for them.
I spend the last thirty minutes meeting with Sandy, where I sign off on buying an unused studio and refurbishing it for doing commercials and training videos.
After that, the family has decided that we’re going out for dinner tonight. They’re all taking me to Tony’s, a place I love. The meal is fantastic. Then I find out that I have been had. Just next door is a museum that has a benefit going to help children. It’s a casual event which is unusual.
I find out it’s even weirder than I thought. They are auctioning men off. I freak out at hearing this. It takes all four of them to calm me down and explain that there’s more. How is that better? I have been through this before, it doesn’t end well.
I am sitting in a chair, sweating. Vickie sits on my lap, facing me. She kisses me on the lips, which surprisingly calms me down.
She uses her sexy voice to explain, “They are auctioning you off as a dance partner. No dates, no fucking, no dungeons, no restraints, and no nudity. All four of us will be watching you. They pick ten men and auction them off for each dance. All you do is a dance with the woman that buys you. Being the obvious stud you are, they will auction you off every dance. You will raise lots of money for a great cause. You’re still in uniform; I’m taking your hat so those women can see how handsome you are. Knock them dead, Bill.”
I feel a lot better. Mom takes me by the hand, up to the stage. Several women are up there, and they all want me; I can see it in their eyes. As I walk up, a group of women follows me. I almost laugh. They know nothing about me.
As soon as the dance ends, the auctioneer is on the mic, “We have a new man here. He’s big, strong, and manly. However, you must be careful; he’s still recovering from a gunshot wound from saving some friends. Yeah, several weeks ago, this is him. Let’s get some big money. Let’s start at $1,000.”
WHAT? The highest someone sold for was $250, and she starts me at a thousand? They’re going to discount me to get a buyer. Wrong. Immediately Vickie’s hand goes up for 1,000. Jane yells out, “2,000.” Another shouts out 5,000, and she wins. There will be plenty more dancing tonight.
The lady is older and very tall, at least six feet tall. She is dressed to the nines in a fuck-me dress, yet it has style. This lady is attractive, and she’s also an excellent dancer. We have a friendly chat while we dance. All too soon, the song ends, and this time, only five are auctioned off. Last time, only five got bids.
Vickie and my family bid me up so that the rest of the night, I never go for less than $10,000. They call out, only three dances are left, Sophia wins at $25,000. Damn. She, too, is a fine dancer and thanks me repeatedly for saving her life. Her last line before walking away from me floors me.
Sophia says to me, “It’s time you start dating again. You want children, and your mother wants grandchildren.” She turns and walks away.
Jane spends $27,500 for the next to last dance. She doesn’t talk at all. Her head is on my shoulder, and we dance quietly. I love my sister so much, and it’s a sweet moment.
They auction the other four guys off, and they get like $2,000 each. Everyone wants me.
Vickie stuns everyone as she yells out, 50,000 dollars. 51,000 was yelled out, and Vickie says 60,000. Another woman yells out, 65,000. Vickie yells out $75,000. Everyone is stunned. It’s just a four-minute dance.
They clear the dance floor for just the five couples. They play the London Symphony Orchestra’s Star Wars “Main Title,” a 5:20 song. She got her money’s worth. It’s an upbeat song, forcing us to speed up the dancing. No slow head-on-shoulder dance. After thirty seconds, everyone rushes to the dance floor. Mom looks like she wants to cut in but instead dances with Sophia and Jane near us. They were happy just to be close to us.
That was a fun night, something different. I danced with a bunch of women, and they raised a ton of money. I notice that we’re all in our limo, and it looks like we’re driving home. Vickie and Jane are under my arms along the back seat while mom and Sophia are across from us, each on a side.
Mom looks at me, “You took it well tonight. I half expected you to jump out of your skin at the mention of an auction.”
I smile, it’s fake, and they know it, “Oh no, the first mention of an auction, and I was shaking in my boots. The difference this time is that you and Jane were there. No way either of you let anything terrible happen to me. Yes, I had a momentary flashback, but then it faded with me seeing you two. When they mention dancing, then the fear comes back, I’m not that good. It soon became apparent that it wasn’t my dancing skills that impressed them.