The early spring weather was a bit cool as we got to the front door. I was going to barge right in like I always do when I come home, but Will stopped me. He shifted the bottle of red wine to his other hand and pressed the doorbell. I rolled my eyes at him, but I understood he wanted to be respectful.
In this era of social media, Will was different. He rarely used any of them besides LinkedIn. It took months for him to accept my Instagram request. Not because he was hiding me, but because he never logged in. So, when Mom asked about his Facebook page so she could add him, I wasn’t surprised to find out he deactivated his years ago. Since Mom and Dad were old school and only had Facebook in order to connect to friends-and-family, this wasn’t only the first time Will met my parents, but the first time he had even seen them.
We waited for the door to open and when it did, both Mom and Dad were there to welcome us. There was a lot of awkwardness after we got the hugs and handshake introductions out of the way before they finally invited us in. But that’s to be expected anytime you bring home a stranger to meet your parents, right? That’s probably especially true when he’s a bit older than you.
When I told Mom I was dating a man eleven years my senior, she was a bit worried. “That’s a big age gap,” she told me in her mother-knows-best tone. “I’m sure you are smitten by him, but do you really see this relationship going somewhere?” I explained to her that I did, telling her that Will and I haven’t avoided talking about our differences in age, but we have a connection that goes well beyond the days we were born. I told Mom that I had never felt this close to another man.
Finally, we came inside and made small talk about the drive.
“Well, I hope you guys are hungry because Linda is putting together a feast that could feed the entire town,” Dad said with a laugh.
“Oh, hush your mouth, Daniel,” she replied, slapping his arm. “It’s not that much food, I swear.”
She went off to the kitchen and I stayed around to talk to Dad with Will. Things still felt a bit off as we talked about Will’s work and how things were going at the plant for Dad, but I was comforted by the fact that we were at least talking and sharing a few jokes, even if they often were not nearly as funny as our laughter made it seem.
Will held my hand and occasionally gave me a rough squeeze. I could feel his anxiety. As Dad went to check on Mom for a few moments, I looked up at him. “You’re doing great. They love you. Just relax.”
He gave me an unsure face and I kissed him, sneaking my tongue inside of his mouth for a moment before pulling away as I heard Dad’s footsteps.
Mom joined us a few minutes later, explaining dinner would be ready in a few moments. After a particularly awkward pause in the conversation, Will asked where the restroom was. I showed him to the first-floor bathroom and when I returned to the living room, Dad had disappeared.
Seeing Mom’s look, I knew something was up. During family game nights, Mom had proven one thing with amazing consistency: she couldn’t bluff. It was comical to see her even try. Dad and I would often share a look and try not to laugh. But that lack of a poker face also was evident when she had bad news. Within only a few seconds after returning home from school one day, I knew something was wrong. She wanted to wait until Dad came home to tell me, but it was too evident that something was up. That was the day I found out Grandma passed away.
I was seeing the same look of dread on her face now. I closed the distance between us and asked, “what’s wrong, Mom? Is it Will? Dad? What’s going on?”
She opened her mouth, but Dad came back to the living room. Looking his way, she told him she needed my help in the kitchen.
“You’re going to leave me alone…with…?”
I felt irrationally angry at his response and wanted to say something, but Mom took me by the arm and led me away, explaining that he’d be fine. Seconds later, she whisked me away into the kitchen. She took a moment to stir the gravy and take it off the burner before looking my way. The silence was deafening as she stared at me. I flashed back to that day she couldn’t hide the fact that something horrible had happened. This was big.
My mind rushed through possibilities. Divorce? No way. That can’t be it. Was one of them sick? Dying? Was I about to learn that one of my parents had an inoperable cancer and had only weeks to live? What in the hell was going on?
Finally, I couldn’t take her stalling anymore. “I’m a big girl, Mom. Tell me what’s going on. I can’t help you deal with this unless you talk.”
Releasing a breath, she said, “It’s about Will.”
“Will? What about Will?” My voice was much higher than hers as I tried to figure out what was wrong.
She nervously looked toward the hallway that led to the living room. “Please keep your voice down, okay?”
“Fine,” I whispered back. “Just tell me what’s up with Will.”
“Well,” she said with a light shrug. “This isn’t the first time we met Will, honey. Only when we met him, his name was John.”
I shook my head as if waking up from a dream. But no, I was still in the kitchen. “What do you mean? His name is Will. I know his name is Will. I’ve seen the yearbooks.” I still kid him about his long hair from when he was in a garage rock band.
“I’m sure that his name is actually Will, honey. It’s just when we met him, he used the name, John.”
“What do you mean you met him? How did you meet him?”
“It’s a long story, honey,” she said. “But the key points are this: we met Will about ten years ago on a website. We met him…for sex.”
It seemed like time came to a halt. I honestly don’t remember much of what happened over the next few minutes. At some point, I left the house via the back door. At the end of the yard, I climbed the fence and fell in the Peters’ backyard. Their dog, Sadie, barked at me and I saw Mr. Peters once he checked what the racket was. I didn’t answer him when he called my name. Instead, I opened their front gate to reach Francis Street. Taking a right, I soon came to the cul-de-sac at the end of the road where my friend Callie used to live before her family moved to Florida. There’s a patch of woods behind the houses there and I walked through them.
From there, I ended up behind one of the dollar stores that they put up in the last few years on Route 29. Walking on the side of the highway, I reached the bridge that goes over some train tracks. Ducking down a path that was now overgrown, I slipped under the bridge with the sound of cars speeding in excess of 55 mph overhead.
It used to be a spot to hang out back in the day. I smoked my first joint here. As dumb kids, we used to throw rocks at the trains that passed with their cargo. I made out with Felix Carson a few times down here before he tried to push me to have sex before I wanted to. One swift kick to his nuts ended that.
My phone buzzed. It was the first time I noticed. I already had seven missed calls – five from Will and two from Mom. Both had texted me asking me to return and talk about things like an adult. But honestly, I didn’t think I was throwing a fit. What do you do when you find out that your parents not only had previously met your boyfriend, but sex was involved? And Mom hadn’t said, “when I met him, his name was John.” She said, “we.” This wasn’t some quiet affair. That was bad enough. No, they knew Will.