“Thank you,” he whispered. “I hope you see how wonderful you really are, Sara. I’ll wade through whatever mountain of shit I must to be the husband you deserve.”
“I know you will. That’s one of the bazillion reasons I love you,” she smiled.
“Have you ever tried to find Anna Chang?” she asked.
He looked at her with a shocked expression. “No.”
“You might want to,” she said earnestly. “I know how surprised you were when you realized you needed closure with Heather. Maybe you need the same thing with Anna?”
“Damn. You are one amazingly smart woman,” he chuckled.
“I’m your amazingly smart woman,” she giggled.
She settled back into his chest. She breathed deeply, and relished the warmth and love and security she felt against his body. They sat this way for a while, just content to be together.
“You ready to sing?” he asked.
“I am if you are. What do you have in mind?”
“Christopher found this cover. For obvious reasons, Ellen and I singing it would be a no-go. I’m sure he and Ellen sing it together, however,” he grinned.
They sat up on the couch, Andy grabbed his guitar, and pulled up the song on his iPad.
Sara smiled when she saw the title, and then giggled when his words hit home with her. He played the cover for her, and she nodded as she listened with him.
“Ready?” he asked. She nodded.
Andy began playing, and then started,
We got the afternoon
You got this room for two
One thing I’ve left to do
Discover me
Discovering you
Sara entered on the second verse,
One mile to every inch of
Your skin like porcelain
One pair of candy lips and
Your bubblegum tongue
Andy joined her as they sang the chorus together,
And if you want love
We’ll make it
Swim in a deep sea
Of blankets
Take all your big plans
And break ’em
This is bound to be a while
Your body is a wonderland
Your body is a wonderland (I’ll use my hands)
Your body is a wonderland
Sara soulfully sang the second verse, smiling as she sang.
Something ’bout the way your hair falls in your face
I love the shape you take when crawling towards the pillowcase
You tell me where to go and
Though I might leave to find it
All too soon, this song was over as well. Sara found herself smiling uncontrollably as a thought occurred to her. She giggled.
“Baby, you sing with me like we make love.”
“What?” he chuckled.
“You’re lovingly pulling something out of me. I could never sing so well by myself, but you lead me to this special place, and in the end, we’ve done this beautiful thing. The really amazing thing is that I find myself wanting to give myself to you when we do these things. Andy, I have no fear of going wherever you want us to go,” she said smiling.
He smiled back at her. “Well, right now, I want to go to bed with my love. I’m tired, and I really want to go to Mass with you in the morning.”
__________________________________________________________
Five minutes later, Sara snuggled into Andy’s arms, and they fell asleep knowing that something of great worth had passed between them, and they had laid hold of it. Normally, passionate sex would cap off their evening. Not tonight.
Neither of them had an inkling at how much grace and effort it would take on their part to keep hold of that thing. Sadly, they would soon find out.
Sunday
About 2 AM, Andy woke up. It was not a startling thing — he knew no one was trying to kill him — but his thoughts were stormy and conflicted nonetheless. Sara was snuggled up against him, and he was powerfully aware of feeling her body next to him. He smiled as he considered the paradox that was sleeping with a beautiful, athletic woman. She was both wonderfully soft and yet quite firm. He moved his right hand slightly, and was rewarded with the feel of her breast under his old Groton t-shirt. He inhaled deeply, drinking in her smell. He gently moved his hand, and rolled onto his back. He gave himself to his thoughts, and was startled when Sara rolled over, put her head on his chest, and laid her arm across him.
“Are you OK, baby?” she asked softly.
He kissed her head. “I am. I’m sorry if I woke you.”
She lifted her head to look at him. “People trying to kill you?”
Andy saw the love and concern on her face in the moonlight.
“No,” he smiled at her reassuringly. “You just gave me a lot to think about tonight, I’m afraid.”
“Mmm. Would you like me distract you?” she grinned.
“The most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen is in my bed, wearing one of my old t-shirts, with an engagement ring on her finger. You distract me all the time, Bellissima.”
She giggled. “You are so sweet to me, baby.” She paused. “What’s got you up, then?”
“I’m struggling with the notion that my grandmother and sisters have me pegged so well, I guess.”
“Andy, I’m not the only ridiculously bright woman who loves you and studies you. I may be majoring in Andy DeGroat, but Miss Helen and your sisters have their Ph.D.’s in this subject.”
“Hmm.” He paused, and then continued. “Sara, I’m worried about reaching out to Anna Chang. ‘High School Andy’ really liked her, and I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought about her from time to time. I want the closure, but part of me is worried this might be a bad idea.”
“Do you still have feelings for her?”
“I don’t know, and I don’t want to find out. I know I did. I know I love you, and I won’t do anything to compromise that. I saw too many guys reconnect to old flames, and then it turned into something that it shouldn’t have. I love our life, Bellissima. No way I jeopardize that.”
“So maybe we do this together?”
“That seems really unfair to you,” he said thoughtfully.
Sara sat up, and leaned down to kiss him. “Did you go on missions by yourself?”
He smiled, “No. Romeo was always there. We were a team — a damn good team — I might add.”
She smiled back at him. “Well, please consider me your Romeo, then.”
He laughed. “Sara, I never wanted to make love to Romeo. I loved him, to be sure — but this is way different. Besides, being my Romeo is a rather hazardous occupation.”
“And I’m going to be your wife; your partner, Andy. We handle our shit together. Or, were you just bullshitting me when you asked me to marry you?”
He saw the fire in her brown eyes.
“No. You’re right. I’m sorry.”
“Yes, I am — and you’re forgiven. Andy, you’ve helped me so much. I have this amazing life. You’ve given me that. But baby, we have to move forward together. My birth father has nothing to do with you — really — but you love me and you’re helping me move towards dealing with that. Please let me do the same.”
“I will. Thank you,” he said softly.
She moved towards his face. “Baby, it’s OK for you to need me. It doesn’t mean you’re less of a man, or that you’re weak. We all need people. I need you so bad it scares me. It would help me immensely if I knew you needed me too.”
He looked at her, stunned. “Sara, I do need you.”
“Well, don’t forget it then,” she giggled.
“I won’t. I just struggle with how unfair this feels — to you, I mean.”
“Andrew David — stop this bullshit! Seriously. I don’t really understand how deep the shit with my dad goes, but like I told you earlier; I’ll go wherever you want to go. I feel safe with you. You love me and want the best for me. Why can’t you see that I want the same for you?”