Gwendolyn and Henry
By the time Gwendolyn Deaveraux was nearing 30 years old, she was pretty much done with men. While she wanted to be married and she wanted to have children she had come to accept that such a life was not going to happen. Intellectually, she understood why. With modern society’s standards of attractiveness, she didn’t fit them.
Gwen was a large woman–tall at almost two inches over six feet and, well, not skinny. She carried around plenty of weight, more than 200 lbs, always had, but it was distributed nicely, she thought. Although her frame was large, it was feminine, even hour-glass in that her breasts and hips were larger than her waist by quite bit. In fact, her breasts were quite large, but so were her hips, her thighs, and her feet at size 11.5. Her face, while not unattractive, was hardly stunning. She was just an average “pretty.”
So, men just weren’t interested in her, at least not for anything more than a quick lay–something she found out, often cruelly, in college. But she had hoped that after graduation and after entering the real world where real people had to grow up and be more mature, she would eventually find someone to settle down with.
That was eight years ago. She hadn’t. Physically, she was still quite, if not more, imposing. So much so that people often stared at her when she was out and not in a kindly way. She supposed it didn’t help that she wasn’t a sweet sugarplum, or cheery demeanor. Her personality, while not severe, was direct and no-nonsense.
At the office, she had “sharp elbows,” according to the men or “acted male,” according to the women. None of that helped win her a mate or make friends with people who might otherwise have set her up. She had work friends but they weren’t super friendly, none were close.
Professionally, she was successful! Her bosses were pleased with her work, and she received steady promotion. Even so, she thought she she deserved even faster advancement.
So be it, she thought, not without some sadness, as she dwelled on her latest reflection of her life. While I would like to be married and have a few children, I don’t need them.
That thought process went through her mind during her solo dinner at home on Friday night after work. On Saturday, she decided she would go out, even if by herself, to the book store and then to a nice meal.
When Henry saw Gwen for the first time in the book store, he could not help but stare at her. He knew he should stop–it was rude–but he couldn’t help himself. He tried to make it less obvious, eventually, by shifting to repeated glances, rather than a constant stare. But that good effort was undone, as he followed Gwen from row to row in the book store.
Henry’s “attention” did not go unnoticed by Gwen. She thought he was just another dumb asshole who looked at her as an usually “big fat woman” and she had no interest in being a spectacle for some jerk, who, by the way, was shorter than her at 5’9″–Gwen guessed–and very thin. This guy did not have much fat, she noticed a little enviously, but also little in the way of muscle. I have half a mind to clock him right here and now, she thought.
Instead, she just moved to another aisle of books. And another. Then another.
Now Gwen felt put out. He’s following me! What am I, some sort of freak show to him?!?
By the fourth row that Henry had followed her into, she waited until no one else was in it and they were sort of in the middle, and then she suddenly walked right up to the guy stalking her.
“What’s your problem asshole?” she said in a loud, but firm whisper.
“Wh, what do you mean?” Henry stuttered his reply.
“You’ve been staring at me, following me through this store! You think it’s funny? You think I’m amusing to you because I am a freak, a big woman?!? Think again, I don’t care to be mocked. I should just tell the management here that you are stalking me.” Gwen made to turn around and leave. But Henry stopped her.
“No, wait, I, I, I…” –he put his hand on her arm to stop her from leaving, realizing his mistake of touching her uninvited a split second too late.
“Get your hands off me!”
Henry immediately withdrew his hand. “No, no, please don’t!” He almost begged. “No, no, I don’t think you are a freak at all. Why, I think you are magnificent!”
Gwen was stunned into silence by his comment. That was not something she had expected and it was not something she had ever heard someone call her, least of all a man, ever before.
The silence made Henry uncomfortable. He wasn’t sure what he was going to say now. He hadn’t given it any thought. He simply had admired this beautiful woman from afar and expected nothing else to happen. He never imagined he would be talking to her. He never imagined he would be berated by her for his behavior. He desperately tried to think of something more to say to break the increasingly awkward silence. Gwen did it for him.
“What the hell do you mean by that?” Her swearing masked a softening of her tone, perhaps wondering or thinking she had misjudged this man.
Not unlike a dog, Henry cued in on her tone.
“Well, I, I simply mean that I think you are a beautiful and attractive woman and I apologize for staring and following you. Seeing you tonight has been the highlight of my evening. I truly meant no harm and I am so very sorry for making you uncomfortable.”
Gwen eyed him carefully, her anger dissipating a fair amount. “Really?” she asked skeptically. “Fogive my skepticism,” she said dryly, “but no man has ever said that to me before.”
She looked at this small man–certainly small in comparison to her but not tiny–before her. He was not unattractive. Their physical differences were pronounced, but she did not care about that, not at this point in her life, but she suspected he would. Men always do.
Meanwhile, Henry visibly relaxed as he sensed her anger subside. “Yes, well, I really can’t really understand that,” giving a somewhat impish smile that Gwen found surprisingly endearing. He paused for awhile, unsure what if anything he should say next. Not sure if he should do or say anything more, he made to leave her presence. “I apologize again. I hope you have a good night. I enjoyed meeting you!”
As Henry and took a couple of steps away, Gwen made an impulsive, split-second decision about her personal life, something she had not done in years.
“Wait!” Henry stopped to look at her and she hesitated briefly before continuing. “After I am done here, I was planning on getting a meal in the mall. Would…would you like to join me? I think I would like your company.”