“widly?”
“-idly, hurting me, others. Legs sa- sa-e sa- same. Kick.”
“Must hold down ar- arms legs. Like you holding me in your ar- arms, tightly, nothing bet- bet- bet- bet-een”
“between”
“us, no shell, no braces. But can’t li- live without it, -ee -ee”
“feel?”
“yes, -ee un- un- un-rotected”
“unprotected”
“and -ul -ul vulnerable without it, and know looking ugly, de- de- deformed. -o -o -o -ody”
“body?”
“Yes, body crooked, t-i t-i t-isted twisted.”
I cleaned her face, took her hands, caressed her hands and her face tenderly, until she calmed down.
“Isabelle, how do you perceive your body? Is it your’s? I can’t believe that you think you are ugly? Do you miss something?”
“-ei -ei -eird”
“Weird”
“q- q- question. First you? Your body? Feel enabled?”
“Can’t tell you. Of course my body is mine, part of me, not pretty and not ugly, just there. Could be better trained. I don’t feel enabled, never thought about this. And I can’t tell you if I’m missing something, I’ve been always this way, I don’t know anything else.”
“Sa- sa- same for me. Don’t feel disa- disa- disa- disa-led.”
“disabled”
” Ugly, yes outside shell look cri- cri-led crippled. -i -i -ith”
“with?”
“with shell like angel, I know. Miss: I can not fly.”
We both laughed.
Chapter 4
I thought about removing Isabelle’s shell and how to prevent her uncontrollable arms and legs from hurting her. I unstrapped a hand, held it tight and wrapped a large soft towel around it. Same for the other hand and her feet. So her arms and legs could do what they want without hurting her. Then I unstrapped her and lifted her out of the shell. I carried her like a baby. One arm under her buttocks, one arm at her back and holding her head against my shoulder. Isabelle should feel as sheltered as possible.
Again she couldn’t close her mouth. I felt her teeth at my shoulder, and she soaked my shirt.
I laid her on the blanket, sat down at her side, held her arms tightly, her legs between mine, restraining her involuntary flailing limbs.
“Undress”
“Isabelle, it’s secluded here, but people might come by and see you.”
“No matter. Put a towel o-er o-er o-er”. She was fighting in vain, couldn’t make it.
“over?”
“o-er me. Enough for the women. Hus- hus-ands hus-”
“husbands”
” hus-ands will stare at me, knowing naked underneath. At ho- ho-e ho-e home they ha- have serious argu- argu-ents argu-ents argu-”
“arguments”
“with wife. Witch speaking.”
Isabelle’s jeans short was cut like a diaper, front and back loosely tied together at both sides. Her shirt was similar, front and back parts separated, loosely bound, and laced straps. Isabelle didn’t want to hide her beauty and showed a lot. But her pants and shirt are handy, easy to open or to remove. I could undress her without the need to fumble her flailing arms and legs through sleeves or pants.
She smiled at me when I got aware that she didn’t wear any underwear.
“Like it?”
“Yes, breathtaking. Isabelle, you are beautiful. You know it yourself, I’m sure.”
“Yes”
“You undress too. Want feel all o- o- of you.”
I lay down next to her, turned her around into my arms and held her tightly embraced, fixing her arms too, and restrained her kicking legs between mine. We lay together in silence, her head at my shoulder, enjoyed our closeness. Isabelle relaxed, she didn’t fight with her mouth anymore trying to avoid messing me.
“-ee -ee, toilette”
“Need to pee? Shall I carry you to the toilette?”
“No, urgent, here. Sand.”
“What can I do?”
“Sit me on your la- la- la-”
“lap?”
“la-, back to you, hold me straight, head u- u- u-right u-right u-”
“upright”
“u-right. wait.”
We waited a while, but nothing happened.
“Can’t do. Cra- cra- cra-“, she got exited and couldn’t make it.
“Isabelle, calm down, don’t worry, I do understand you. You can’t pee because you are cramped. Do you need a catheter? Do you have one with you?”
“No, -o -o -orgot -o”, she stuck with a spasm.
“forgot”
“forgot ask Laura. Too exited.”
“Shall I take you home? Can you stand it that long?”
“No, here. You here. Hel- help relax. Cra- cra- will release.”
I laid us down in the sand, turned Isabelle around, onto my belly, hugged her close, and caressed her tenderly. She should feel comfy and as much sheltered as possible. It took some time until her cramps released and I felt her warm water.
Isabelle was weeping softly.
“-ee -ee peed on you!”
“No, don’t worry.”
“Don’t lie. Messed you. Can’t e- e- even -ee pee alone. Useless, hands useless, legs useless, I’m useless. You deser- deser- deser-e deserve so- so- so-eone so- someone -e -e -etter -e”
“better?”
“Yes, -etter than me, so- so- so-eone so-“, she sobbed.
“someone”
“to conquer the world. Sit me in wheelchair and stand me on street. So- so- so-eone so- so-“, a bad spasm stopped her again although I supported her.
“someone”
“will pass by and takes me a- a- a-ay away.”
“Isabelle, you are the most beautiful wast on the street I can imagine. And I don’t want to conquer the world. It’s fine for me, just as it is now, today, here, together with you. Can’t be better, and I don’t deserve more.”
I hugged Isabelle, lifted her head, and kissed her tenderly. She didn’t sob anymore.
“Isabelle, you are an attractive and desirable woman, and the one who wins your heart is a lucky one.”
“Disa- disa- disa-led disa- cri- cri-“, she was too excited now to continue. A spasm stopped her.
“disabled and crippled. Please let me make a point. You are a woman, a wonderful woman, desirable and attractive. And yes, you are disabled, but this does not define you. Your disability is only one part of you, belongs to you in the same way as the witch in you, the color of your eyes or the taste of your kisses. It’s all part of your personality and makes you unique. You can expect that someone who applies for your heart accepts you, all of you, accepts you just as you are, disabled, beautiful and desirable.”
“Do you acce- acce- acce-t acce-“, a cramp stopped her again, forced her mouth to open and her spittle wets my shoulder.
“accept”
“acce- -e me?”
“Yes, of course, without any doubt. Do I get your heart?”
This time Isabelle smiled again and the sparkle in her eyes is a sparkle of joy and happiness.
Chapter 5
“Shall we s- s- s-i s-i”, she paused as she couldn’t make it.
“Sorry Isabelle, I’no idea what you want to say. Try again.”
“s- s- swi- swi- s-i -a -ater -a water”
“Now I got it: swimm? You want to ask if we shall swim?”
“Yes, s-i. Will you carry me -a -ater -ater -a?”
“water? Yes, I’ll carry you into the water. Can you swim?”
“Silly question, no, can’t. Just s- s- s-lash s-“, this time she couldn’t avoid a spasm.
“Isabelle, try to calm down. Let me guess. Of course, you can’t swim. I haven’t expect anything else. You like to be in the water and to splash around?”
“Yes. Hold head a- a- a-ove a-ove out water.”
“Yes, now I got it. I must keep your head above water.”
“Yes! Like -ater, feel easy, weightless.”
I carried her into the water and held her closely in my arms at first. Isabelle’s arms and legs splashed the water around wildly. After a while I let her slide all the way into the water, turned her onto her back and held her only by her head. She had a lot of fun splashing around, involuntary of course, her arms and legs seemed to have fun too, until the towels on her hands and feet were soaked with water and clearly hindered her movements.