“We can come across as awkward, emotionless, socially clueless robots. Some on the autism spectrum do not make eye contact, speak in a monotone, and have trouble communicating.
“We are not adept at reading body language and facial expressions. We do not understand nuances and figures of speech. Phrases like ‘The early bird catches the worm’ confuse us.
“We focus on the words and wonder, ‘Why are you telling me about a bird?’ I miss the rest of the conversation, thinking about this bird.
“We speak honestly. Sometimes, brutally honest. Do not ask me if I like your shirt or haircut. I will answer without any concern about hurting your feelings. You ask; I answer. You will get the truth.
“I was providing information when I said I will shave my body Friday night. It was not said to embarrass or titillate you.”
She shrugged her shoulders and added, “I do not always know when I have said something inappropriate.”
Marcus smiled and said, “I like your straightforwardness. We’ll get along just fine. I’m not a big talker, so you won’t have a lot of words to interpret. I’ve been in combat. It’ll take more than sharing too much information to upset me.
“If I have a problem, I’ll tell you, so feel free to speak your mind. If a situation develops, we will address it directly.”
Scarlett said, “Thank you.”
^^^
Saturday, Marcus showed up on time. They loaded the vehicle and hit the road. During the drive, they traded information. She learned Marcus was twenty-six years old, had lost his mother, still had a father, and that he’d been in the Marines.
He learned that Scarlett was twenty-one and an only child raised by a single mother. The bride was her cousin, Carolyn. She was the eldest daughter of her mother’s sister, Christina.
“The groom is a man named Tommy,” Scarlett said. “I have not met him. My mother says he is handsome. She hopes that someday I will meet someone, get married, and give her grandchildren.
“I am not sure that that will happen. I do not date. I am too busy with school and my hobby, astronomy.”
“I’m interested in astronomy too. When I was in the army, I often sat outside and looked at the stars.
“It is great, right?” Scarlett said suddenly animated. He had not seen her so excited. She said, “I am completely obsessed with planets, stars, and galaxies. I spend hours watching YouTube videos about astronomy.”
“I don’t watch hours of videos, but I’ve checked out NASA and SciShow Space.”
“Those are good. Have you seen Fraser Cain?”
“No.”
“You have to. Do you have a telescope?”
“No.”
“I have an Orion XT 10i scope. It is big enough to give a good view of the universe. As for eyepieces, I have a few 82-degree ones from Explore Scientific. The ultrawide design keeps planets in the field for a long time at the higher powers, and at the low powers, it is great for viewing star clusters, nebulae, and galaxies.
“With a 10″ Dobsonian, I can see every object in the Messier catalog and many NGC objects. It shows a lot of details of the brighter galaxies and nebulae. It is good for star clusters too.”
“Wow! You know your stuff.”
Her face reddened, and she said, “I do. You probably have many interests and hobbies. Autistic people tend to have one or two interests, and we become hyperfocused on them. I am obsessed with data analytics and with astronomy.”
She smiled and added, “Given the chance, I will geek out and talk about them for longer than anyone cares to listen.”
He smiled and said, “We have another hour until we get to the hotel. Scarlett, tell me about astronomy.”
She did.
Thirty minutes later, he said, “Scarlett, you have told me so much about astronomy that my head is spinning.”
“Spinning?” she said, seeking clarification.
“Obviously, my head is not spinning. Let me say it another way. Thank you for talking to me about astronomy. I’ve heard enough for now. Please stop.”
“Okay.”
“Was I too harsh?” he asked.
“No. I prefer simple direct words. Be literal, clear, and concise. Avoid slang, nuances, and idioms like ‘It’s raining cats and dogs’. Also, I have a problem recognizing when someone is joking or being sarcastic.”
“That must make understanding people difficult,” Marcus said.
“Imagine,” she said. “You are playing a game with a group of people, and no one will tell you the rules. Every time you say something, they say you got it wrong, laugh at you, and call you stupid.
“I focus so hard during conversations, trying to keep up, that it makes me stressed and anxious, and still it is not good enough. My classmates in elementary and high school would say, ‘You stupid girl. You misunderstood me again’.
“When I responded, you said ‘XXXX’. They would smile and say, ‘Yes, but didn’t you notice my facial expression, my body language, or the tone of my voice?’ Or ‘Hey, I winked.’
“Why cannot people just say what they mean?” she said. She sounded frustrated.
“Yeah,” Marcus said, commiserating with her. “For some reason, we feel the need to augment our words.”
“Another thing that annoys me,” Scarlett said, “is people are always asking me ‘How are you?’ I have learned that your doctor, mother, or friends want the truth. Other people do not.