I closed my eyes and rolled my head from right to left slowly, trying to imagine what it would be like to be a stalk of grass.
I was so engrossed in the movement that I completely lost track of time when suddenly, I heard a throat clearing.
It was Rolf.
CHAPTER 7: ROLF
Another boring seminar in Seattle. I used to assist them to fill in the endless hours of my empty days.
I loved the thought that Rain was at home waiting for me. I looked forward to seeing her every day, I loved being with her, having her in his arms, kissing her… She made me feel things I hadn’t felt in my whole life.
Rain was changing me for the better. Everything about her was sunny and light. Every morning, when I woke up, she was the first thing I thought of, and she was my last thought when I fall asleep holding her in my arms.
I was falling badly for Rain.
My heart was beating fast when I finally got home. I opened the front door and I came to an abrupt halt as my brain registered the sight.
Rain was dancing in the arms of another man. In my living room. In my house.
The jealousy that suddenly burst up was so fiery that I was taken completely by surprise. On some level, I knew my feelings were unreasonable, but I couldn’t help them.
Rain’s eyes flew open.
“Rolf!” she exclaimed happily, as she broke from her male companion and skipped over to me, giving me a big hug.
I was stiff beneath her arms. She hugged me harder and gave me a quick kiss on the lips. “You’re home early.”
Noticing the severe look on my face, she immediately came crashing down from her dancing high.
“It’s eight pm exactly,” I said coldly, my eyes never leaving her male companion’s face. “I am Rolf, nice to meet you,” I said formally, as I gazed at him icily.
The guy took my hand and gave it one firm shake.
“Lukas.”
“Lukas, huh?” I turned my head to look at Rain. “You didn’t tell me we were going to have visitors.”
Rain pressed her lips together. “Lukas called me and told me he was in the area, so we gathered to catch up, and we lost the track of time. I am sorry.”
Lukas glanced at his phone and rubbed the back of his neck, clearly uncomfortable. “Well, I’ll be going. It was good catching up with you Rain, I’ll see myself out.”
He gave us a final wave and hurried to the door, opening it without a look back.
“Bye Lukas,” Rain said, raising a hand as the door closed.
She tried to ignore the tension in the room as she turned to me and said with forced excitement in her voice. “Are you hungry? Dinner is ready. Why don’t you go change, and I’ll bring our plates to the table.”
She headed to the kitchen without waiting for an answer, hoping that the meal could change the tone of the evening. She hummed along to the music on the radio while she prepared our plates.
“Are you hungry? I made you one of your favorite meals.”
She put her hand on top of mine and rubbed it gently. “Let’s have dinner,” she said, smiling fully as she stood up, pulling me towards the dining room.
“I can’t, Rain. I need a moment.” I squeezed her hand. I had knots in my stomach.
I sighed, a dull ache pulsating at my temples. The combination of a long day at the seminar and the scene with Lukas was a potent headache waiting to happen.
I just wanted to lie down and go to sleep. I went to the bedroom and lay back against the pillow and closed my eyes, sighing as the throbbing decreased slowly. I wasn’t sure how long I lay that way before a knock on the door roused me.
“Can I come in?” Rain asked, her voice laced with uncertainty.
I lifted my heavy lids. “Yes, of course, you can. I’m just really knackered.”
“Are you hungry?” She lifted a tray with a plate of food. The aroma of the food wafted over to me, and my stomach grumbled in response. “I am hungry, actually.”
She walked gingerly toward the bed, putting the tray down as she climbed next to me. “Here,” she said, handing me a cloth napkin.
The salmon with mango salsa looked fantastic with its vibrant pink, yellow, and green colors hinting at the flavor sensations to come.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, concerned. “Something happened at the seminar?”
“No, nothing happened at the seminar. You really don’t know?”
“No, I really don’t.”
“What’s wrong is that I walked in on you dancing with another man in my living room.”
She shook her head, confused.
“You’re mad because I was dancing with Lukas.”
“It was a little off-putting to walk in on you dancing in the arms of your ex-boyfriend. You were so enthralled with Lukas, that you didn’t even hear me come into the house.”
Her neck flushed while her eyebrows knit tightly together. “Rolf, I think you are overreacting a bit. I wasn’t enthralled; I was just having fun dancing. Besides, Lukas and I were always just friends,” she said firmly, crossing her arms tightly over her chest.
I looked away, my chest heaving visibly. Why was this so hard for her to understand? My heart raced as I pictured Rain’s eyes closed, a blissful look on her face as Lukas and Rain swayed romantically from side to side. I felt like I had walked in on an intimate liaison.
“That’s not what it looked like to me.” I squeezed my eyes tight, trying to get the image of Rain and Lukas out of his head.
When I opened them again, I was surprised to see Rain staring at me with fury in her eyes.
She pointed a finger at me and narrowed her eyes. “Are you accusing me of bringing another man to have sex with him in our place?” She spoke slowly and firmly, her tone a mix of bewilderment and disbelief. “Don’t you think that if I wanted to have sex with a lover I’d have picked another place?”
I quickly opened my mouth to respond, but then closed it again, her point registering. But even though her logic made sense, I still felt wronged. I rubbed the back of my neck with his palm. “What was he doing here anyway?”
“He called me and I told him where I was. He was in Portland, so he drove here to catch up. Then we walked here because he helped me with the bags.”
“Why did you invite him in?”
“He asked to use the bathroom. Then I politely offered him a refreshment,” she said emphasizing the word ‘politely’ with a raise of her eyebrows, “and then a waltz came on the radio, and so we danced. It was completely innocent and unplanned.”
Her explanation was making far more sense than I expected. I felt the heat go out of my anger.
She sighed and sat down on the bed heavily. “Rolf, Lukas and I are just friends. He and his family helped me during a very bad time of my life. And no, I don’t want to talk about it.”
Everything Rain said made sense, and yet, I couldn’t deny the real pain it had caused when I walked in on her. I wanted her to be dancing in my arms, not anyone else’s. We had enjoyed many evenings of slow dancing in front of the fire, and it felt intensely personal to see Lukas taking my place… even if that wasn’t Rain’s intent.
I also knew that I had no right to be jealous. We had never defined our relationship.
“I didn’t do anything wrong. We were dancing the waltz. It’s not like I was grinding on him or doing the lambada. The waltz is about as innocent a dance as they come,” she said. Her lashes fluttered shyly.