Taking a cleansing breath.
“Bill, you were always good to me. You always treated me with respect. You never pushed me into having full sex. Even when I came down there to visit you that one time, I was positive that when I went home, after that weekend, that neither of us would be virgins. I mean, that weekend, yeah, we slept together and took a shower together. Messed around. But, you never pressed. You were just content to have me with you, to hold me, and do our thing. I’m pretty sure that I would have let you, if you had wanted to.”
“I was afraid of an accident and you winding up pregnant. That would have smashed all of my dreams. Dreams of us having a happy life together. Because you know, if that had happened, that I would have quit school and I would have married you.”
“I know. And I knew that was your reason. You had a plan for us. And you were so careful to make sure that nothing would interfere with your plan, your plan for us. Like I said, you were always good to me. You made me feel alive, happy and special when we were out and about. And, yes, Bill… I truly loved you.
“When I told my mom that I was breaking up with you, she said that I was nuts. She tried to talk me out of it. Saying how good you were to me. How I would have a good future with you, after you graduated. I couldn’t disagree with her; but, I had my reason, which I’ll get to in a bit.”
Then with a gentle smile, “We did share a lot of firsts together. We had a lot of good times together, didn’t we?”
“Yes we did. A lot of good times.”
The lyrics of Ray Price, ‘For the Good Times‘ began playing softly, and sadly, in my head.
….Lay your head upon my pillow
Hold your warm and tender body Close to mine
Hear the whisper of the raindrops
Blowin’ softly against my window
And make believe, you love me
One more time
For the good times.
By this time we were looking at each other. The warmth between us was building, especially from my side.
Yeah, she was my first love. Yeah, she broke my heart. But, deep down, I still had an everlasting place in my heart for her, and it was opening. I don’t know why. I mean it’s not like she’s going to be my girlfriend again. She’s married.
But, that last sentence brought a smile to each of us. For the next half hour, or so, we each recalled, and shared a few of our past get-togethers.
I’ll share a couple here.
“You were the first guy that really kissed me. First guy that I ever let touch my boobs. I wanted you to touch em for a long time, but, you were so shy. It was so cute,”
That brought a warm and genuine smile to each of us. Her brown eyes were warm and inviting. Michelle brought her hand up to my cheek and lightly ran the back of her hand along my skin. It felt nice. She continued.
“I remember one Sunday afternoon in the living room at my house. My parents were out. It was just us. I took your car keys and put them into my shirt pocket, just above my boob. I told you that you the only way you were going to get them back, was to get them yourself. You blushed. I grinned. It was cute. Then you said that you were going to walk home. I knew that was silly, as it was a ten mile hike. But, then you surprised me. You grinned and pulled my shirt away from me and reached into my pocket for your keys, without ever touching me,” then the grin faded, “you were that respectful of me. Didn’t want to offend me. I will never forget that.”
She had turned her hand over, and was now running her soft fingertips along my cheek. We held each other’s gaze for a few quiet and tender moments.
“I remember that. I also remember one time when we were out playing in my car one night. You were topless and everything else was down around her ankles. I was the same. I remember you reaching over and circling your two fingers around my hard dick and then stretching along my length, like you were measuring me.”
Michelle giggled and blushed, “I was. I was with my girlfriends a few days before. They were all talking about how big their boyfriends were. They were using their fingers to show what they had found out. Then they asked me. I said I didn’t know. I had never measured.”
“So, how did I size up?” I grinned.
“You were on the bigger side.”
We each laughed, as Michelle moved over closer. Close enough that our hips and thighs were now touching. I could smell her perfume. Then she rested her head on my shoulder. I thought of it… of putting my arm around her, but didn’t. I just rested my hand on her thigh.
My earlier emotions on seeing Michelle were disappearing, becoming a thing of the past, as we both relaxed into each other. We were being drawn into each other the more we recalled our fun times together. Yes, I still liked her. I still wasn’t sure where this was all going, especially what the ‘had to’ was all about.
The room became quiet, except for the soft piano music playing in the background.
Then, her mood changed, dramatically. Her voice, that had been soft almost a whisper, became serious, almost pained, as she looked back down at her lap. Whatever was bothering her earlier, was about to come out, as she struggled with whatever it was.
“Bill, please don’t think bad of me, or hate me.”
“Why would I think that?”
Quiet. I could feel her start to tremble, as she continued to look down with her hands folded on her lap. Her fingers, twitching nervously.
“Because,” taking a soft deep breath and burying her face against my shoulder, “because, the reason that I had to break up with you was…”
By now I could feel tears soaking through my thin t-shirt, her trembling becoming more pronounced.
Then, in a shaky whispery voice, “I was pregnant… I’m so very sorry.”
I sat there… stunned. Michelle broke down.
Her tears turned into sobs, then heavy sobs, as her body shook.
I did the only thing I could think of… I wrapped my arm around her shoulder, and yes, I hugged her. Something I never thought I could, or would, do again. I felt closer to her, right that moment, than ever before. Yeah, we had said that we loved each other when we were going out; but, how can your first love be ‘real love’, especially as a teenager? But, this was a closeness between two people, which I had never experienced in my young life.
Michelle had just willingly bared her soul to me. She didn’t have to. She could have let me walk out the door, a few minutes ago, and that would have been that. We would have probably have gone on with our day and the rest of our lives. Never seeing each other again. Maybe a little recollection on our past; but, that would been that. Neither of us had ever shared something like this… so deep… so personal.
Minutes passed, as she cried herself out. Then, her head still on my shoulder and her hand on my thigh, she wiped her eyes with her shirt sleeve.
“I’m sorry. I don’t know why I just confessed all of that to you. But, I felt that I had to. I had to let you know that me breaking up with you had nothing to do with you. It was all my fault, and I am so sorry. So very sorry, for everything.”
That brought more sobs, as she buried her face into my shirt. By now, my other arm was wrapped around her, which only seemed to make her sob more. It really did break my heart. I went to pull my arm back, but Michelle grabbed it and put it back around her. She just needed to be held.