Firstly, to my readers: Thank you for being so patient with me. I hope the second and final installment of “The Wager” was worth the wait. Aside from writer’s block, it also took me a long time to figure out how to end it, and I hated everything I had come up with until recently. Another thank-you to all of the people who proofread and suggested edits. Two years of not writing a full story equaled me being a bit rusty and using filler words THAT made my eye twitch uncontrollably. (If you know, you know).
Secondly, if you haven’t read the first installment of “The Wager,” please consider doing so. The link to it is: https://literotica.com/s/the-wager-18. I hope you enjoy!
Now…onto the story.
“Idiot,” Ryan sighed, looking at the computer screen, seeing the words there without really comprehending what they were saying. He had spent the better part of the afternoon blindly staring at document after document and getting little-to-nothing accomplished. Chancing a glance at his watch, it appeared he had been working on this particular little-to-nothing for over two hours.
This was absolutely getting out of hand. He was better than this, and all he needed to do was clear his mind and focus. He was a problem solver, after all. He could argue his way out of anything. This was why he was in the profession he was in. He was really good at getting himself, and others, out of complicated situations.
And yet, here he was, unable to even think straight.
He put his head in his hands and groaned loudly. Not often did Ryan have regrets. Once he made a decision, he did what he always did. He thought it over, made sure it was a sensible choice, and then he stuck by it. Currently, he could not think of one good reason he came up with the conclusion he did. He half wondered if he had been sleep-deprived and delusional when he made the resolution to just let Emily go.
Ryan would be lying to himself if he said he had not wanted Emily the moment he had laid eyes on her. Oh sure, he denied it, telling himself it was because she was beautiful and had an easy laugh; however, even he knew it wasn’t something as shallow as that. When he brought her home and she walked in, he knew instantly she belonged there. He never wanted her to leave.
He tried to chalk it up to the fact he hadn’t truly gotten to know anyone in a long time. Relationships were not a thing in his life. He had made sure of it. He was supposed to be bulletproof. No woman, no matter how lovely or intriguing, would make him feel the way he felt all those years ago. He wouldn’t allow himself to be vulnerable again. The foundation had been poured and the walls firmly nailed in place.
Or so he thought.
Em made him feel things whether he liked it or not. It was disconcerting and uncomfortable. He wanted to be annoyed by it, but whenever she would look at him and smile, all negative thoughts flew right out of the window. Her smile illuminated his soul. It was the kind of smile that made her whole face light up. One which was genuine and heartfelt. Even her eyes smiled. The corners creased and they would sparkle. Literally sparkle.
God, it was annoying.
She just had this aura about her which was bright and alluring. She exuded warmth and happiness, so much so, that strangers migrated towards her and made excuses to start up a conversation. They would compliment her long, dark hair or tell her she resembled Monica from Yellowstone. As someone who was proudly an introvert, it was a bizarre, yet enlightening experience, and he was enthralled by the whole thing.
Now, Ryan found himself in a predicament of his own creation. Ever since he met Em, he had been encouraging her to get out and explore the world, meet new people, and try new things. She led a fairly secluded life, boxed-in by circumstances out of her control until recently. The desire to show her what she had been missing out on was just as strong as his desire for her.
He wanted her to be adventurous and make bold moves. It was one of the reasons he offered his place for her to stay in while she was in the city. The thought of being the one to introduce her to the opera had been just as exciting as the first time he had experienced it. The fact she had loved it filled him with a sense of joy and accomplishment which made him feel the pride of a young kid bringing home a report card filled with all high marks.
It was the same night he had realized Em was an expert in demolishing walls built by arrogant assholes.
Honestly, it was amazing he had ever thought himself immune to her charms, charms she wasn’t even aware she had. He thought of the way her eyes darkened and twinkled when she was thinking of something mischievous. Or how the left corner of her lip twitched when she was amused. He grinned remembering walking in on in the kitchen where she had spontaneously burst into song while cooking, using the spatula as an imaginary microphone. He hadn’t been able to keep his hands off of her, resulting in a burnt dinner and ending in multiple orgasms and take-out.
If he had not offered up his place to stay. If he had not enjoyed every second he spent with her. If everything about her had not drawn him in more.
He would not have fallen in love.
Why had he been so adamant when he had explained his stance on relationships with her? Did he subconsciously know he was at risk of falling in love? He reminded himself over and over again he was not making anymore commitments. He liked being single and carefree, didn’t he? He didn’t want to be tied down, right? He was through with anyone having any kind of power over him ever again. He was doing just fine on his own.
And Em, God bless her, had taken all this in, knowledgeable in the fact their relationship would be nothing more than sex. She had made him feel as if he had met the female equivalent to himself, as if he had finally met someone who understood what he wanted. He didn’t have to worry about sparing her feelings or the inevitable emotional roller-coaster some women went on as if they hadn’t been forewarned. It was refreshing and stress-free, and it made him like her even more.
What a cunning little temptress she had turned out to be. He couldn’t help but chuckle to himself. Em could charm anyone, and he had the audacity to think himself immune.
What would Em think if he came right out and told her he had fallen for her? Would it be fair to spring such a declaration upon her? Em had decided to take a trip around the world to discover new things, new cultures, and just have fun for a change. She told him she liked the thought of being single and free for a while, so she could learn who she really was. She said she had a bad habit of foregoing what she liked or enjoyed in order to make other people happy. This trip was a journey in finding out who she really was.
Unless she was just blowing smoke up his ass. If this was the case, then it would be the first time he genuinely hoped someone was lying to him. He wanted to keep her, make her his. The thought had even crossed his mind on the kind of ring she might like.
What was he? A lovesick schoolboy? He knew the answer before the question was a fully formed thought.
Yes. Yes, he was.
Groaning, he lowered his head to the desk and resisted the urge to bang it against the wooden surface.
“What am I going to do?” The words hit the desk and reverberated back to him.
As if on cue, there was a soft knock on the door causing him to sit up quickly and straighten his tie.
“Come in,” he said.
The door opened and Maureen’s head popped around the edge, “Ryan, if you don’t stop moaning and groaning, people are going to think you’re trying to pass a kidney stone in here. Or worse.”
Confused, he frowned at her, “What could be worse than a kidney stone? Death?”
Maureen turned a faint shade of pink and darted her eyes to the hallway. “People might think you’re in here with Miss Emily again. Don’t get cheeky with me! Wipe that smile off of your face! Your office isn’t soundproof, you know.”
Unable to hold it in, Ryan burst out laughing, almost falling out of his chair. He laughed so hard, he barely heard Maureen’s exasperated voice saying, “I don’t know why I put up with you sometimes,” before she left and closed the door behind her.
After he regained his composure, he inhaled a good, cleansing breath and sighed. Laughter was all he needed. Something to relax his mind and his body. The solution was quite simple really. He had to tell Em the truth, and they’d work it out from there. For all he knew, she didn’t feel the same way he did, and he was overthinking this whole scenario.
It was a sobering thought, and it made his stomach clench uncomfortably. He had never been the praying type, but right then, he closed his eyes and prayed she felt the same way he did. If she didn’t, he wasn’t sure what he would do, but he knew for certain, no matter her answer, his life would never be as it was.
*****
Emily sat, legs criss-crossed, in the middle of the large bed, her itinerary splayed open before her, and let out a heavy sigh. No matter how she tried to look at it, there was no doubt in her mind: she was in big trouble.
Her watch vibrated suddenly, startling her out of her reverie, and she glanced down. “Time to move!” Damn this bossy little watch, trying to keep her active. Didn’t it realize she was in the middle of having a mini-crisis of epic proportions? Who could possibly care about reaching their hourly step goal?
Granted, she had been sitting in this spot for the last hour and a half. Her legs were very likely, most definitely asleep. Scrunching her nose, she looked at the watch to see how many steps she had taken today and immediately regretted it. “102 steps? Geez, Em. You might actually want to get up and walk around. This is just embarrassing.”
Instead, she decided to ignore her watch again and chewed on her bottom lip. She was full of thoughts, all jumbling around inside her brain. She knew very well she was overthinking and overanalyzing everything, but it was what Emily did best. Was she even herself if she wasn’t overthinking?
Okay…so she had made a colossal miscalculation. Maybe…she knew better than to think she could have a casual, no-commitments relationship. Maybe…she knew she’d be playing with fire by being with a man who was the literal definition of what a man should be. Just maybe…she had already felt the familiar stirrings of love before meeting him in person.
“Idiot,” she muttered under her breath. She had done the one thing she had sworn she would not do, could not do, and yet, she had done it anyway. What kind of moron falls in love with a guy who literally warned her he would never be in a committed relationship ever again?
This moron, she thought, making a frowny face. This moron would.
Em was in her third week of staying with him in his townhouse. And now, she was trying to prepare herself mentally to leave in two days’ time without falling to pieces. Emotionally speaking, she was not okay. Every time she thought about leaving, her stomach clenched, and she had to resist the urge to burst into tears. If she wasn’t on the verge of crying, she was popping Imodium as if they were candy to counteract the unrelenting anxiety-induced IBS, and dear GOD, that was not a topic she wanted to have with Ryan quite yet.
She flopped onto her back and decided to let her mind wander. Instead of thinking about the next destination on her trip around the country (like a healthy, intelligent person would do), she chose to think back on earlier this morning. Waking up in Ryan’s arms, warm and snug. Wriggling closer, trying not to wake him. An inordinate amount of satisfaction filling her senses when his arms had tightened around her waist, making her feel safe, secure, and…loved.
Em sighed. Loved.
A tremulous breath passed her lips, heart squeezing painfully, a tear trickling down the side of her face into her hairline.
She really had known better. It wasn’t Ryan’s fault. He confided in her months ago that he tried the commitment thing and it had ended terribly. He was no longer interested in anything more than what they were doing right now. He said he did not want to feel compelled to do all the things one had to do when in a relationship and plainly put: wanted to enjoy the moment instead.
And she had agreed! At the time, she thought it was an excellent idea. Brilliant, even. She wanted to get out there in the world and experience all life had to offer instead of sitting at home, letting her imagination do it for her. What better way to do this than to experience life’s little joys and pleasures without the fear of someone holding her back?
Of course, she conveniently forgot how easily she fell for guys, especially if they were kind, sweet, and caring. God forbid they had a sense of humor or were mildly attractive. With the brain the size of a pea, she started imagining their respective futures together before they actually started dating. Nothing said, “I’m perfectly sane and not the least bit crazy,” like envisioning what their wedding would be like.
Ah, one of the many curses of having an overactive imagination.
However, Emily was certain if she knew going in nothing was going to happen, it would somehow be easier. Like, maybe she could trick her brain into being logical or reasonable for a change. Besides, Ryan was her friend. A really good friend, but a friend no less. Easy peasy! She could be one of those independent, strong women who didn’t need anyone to complete her life! She could do it!
Hahahahahahaha! Oh god, she really was an idiot. There was no point in trying to lie to herself.
She even tried putting the blame on him. It was as if he was actively trying to get her to fall in love with him. After all, he didn’t have to be everything she had ever wanted in a guy. He didn’t have to be thoughtful or kind or compassionate. He didn’t have to be witty and know exactly how to make her laugh. He didn’t have to give her that look with his ridiculously adorable smile on his ridiculously handsome face.
“I mean, take away his good looks, and what do you have left?” she mused aloud.
Perfection, you fool.
This was a man who knew how to be serious and hold up an interesting conversation. A man who knew how to be romantic without even trying. And just when you wondered if perhaps he only seemed perfect because he was hiding the fact he had no sense of humor, he would say something random to make her laugh out loud in the most serious of situations.
So yeah. It was all his fault, and she was definitely blaming him.
Don’t think about the sex. Don’t think about the sex. Don’t think about the sex.
Damn it. The sex.
Mind-blowing. Life-altering. Soul-consuming. And no, she was not exaggerating.
He was the best she had ever been with, and there was no use in denying the fact. She had tried to fool herself into believing it was the sex which gave her the impression she might be in love with him, but no. The sex was just a really, really big bonus. The man knew his way around. He was anything but a selfish lover. She could literally think about him touching her, and she’d feel herself get wet and start to ache.
It wasn’t fair.
Ryan knew how to touch her and bring chills to her body. He used everything at his disposal to heighten her arousal. How he learned all of this, she would never know, but the man obviously paid attention. It was rare to find someone who cared more for her pleasure than his own. It was as if he was memorizing her.
Last night, for instance, he didn’t simply dive right in. He had barely brushed his fingertips down the back of her neck as he kissed her lips softly, pulling at them with his own. The spicy scent of his cologne hung in the air, overwhelming her senses. She remembered thinking, years from now, just the scent of that particular cologne would remind her of lingering touches. Hair cascading. Lips fighting for dominance. Strong hands running down her sides.
Afterwards, she had imagined what it would be like to grow old with him because, hello, this was what Emily’s imagination liked to do. Torment her with these moving mental pictures of spending her nights with him, sitting on his couch, snuggled up to him, his fingers tracing along the back of her arm, making her skin break out into little goosebumps. Never getting tired of the way he kissed her, as if he were trying to memorize the shape, the texture, even the taste of her lips. Tenderly. Carefully. Lovingly.
Another deep sigh.
He was so effortlessly her dream guy which made it so easy for her to imagine he felt the same for her as she felt for him.
“No more tears, Em. That’s enough,” she whispered.
In a louder, more self-assured voice, she proclaimed loudly, “Okay. You have two choices, Em. You can either leave and pretend everything is fine, put on an act like your heart isn’t breaking, and just have a good time until then.”
Deep breath.
“Or. You quit being such a wimp and tell him how you really feel. Life does not have to be an angsty romance novel. If he doesn’t feel the same way, then at least you’ll know, and you can move on. I mean, it is the sensible thing to do, right?”
For a few minutes, Emily just lay there, letting the words hang in the air above her. She knew what she was going to do. She had known all along. She would tell Ryan how she really felt, and if he didn’t feel the same way, then she would do the thing she had done all her life. She would tuck away the memories of him and slowly move on. The not knowing would torment her.
She sighed deeply, maybe a little more exaggerated than necessary, and decided now was the time to uncross her legs. Sure enough, they had fallen asleep and tingled painfully.
“Just great, I’m crippled. I’ll have to stay here. Then Ryan will swoop in and take care of me and fall madly, deeply in love, and oh my god, I’ve got to find something better to do!” she exclaimed, stretching out her legs and flopping backwards, staring balefully up at the ceiling.
Maybe she should look into seeing a psychiatrist.
*****
Ryan wasn’t sure how he had made it home. It was a bit concerning because he didn’t remember much of the drive. He had the vague recollection of leaving the office, getting into his car, and now…he was home.
He had to get a grip on himself or he’d end up causing some type of catastrophe.
He shook his head, knowing he was allowing his mind to wander so he wouldn’t have to think about the inevitable conversation he would have with Em. Just the mere thought of it made his stomach flip, but he had to put his lawyer hat on and get down to business.
“Em, there’s something I need to tell you.”
No, it sounds ominous. He needed to approach this differently.
“Em, I have a confession to make.”
Well, this didn’t sound much better.
“Em, I’m hopelessly and ridiculously in love with you, and for the love of God, don’t fall in love with anyone else, stay here, and I’ll make sure you have the best life, and…”
Fuck. What was he? Sixteen?
Maybe he should just drive his car off of a bridge. It would be less painful and far less awkward than coming up with a way to tell Em he loved her. For someone who talked circles around people for a living, he was coming up woefully inept at forming a simple introductory sentence.
Deciding he should attempt to live another day, he let his mind wander back to last night. Typically speaking, Ryan had sex with women. Nothing more, nothing less. He never allowed himself to delve any deeper than the physical aspect, excuse the pun. He made sure each woman enjoyed their time together, varying the ways they copulated, but it was almost like a business transaction. I make you feel good, you make me feel good. Now, let’s shake on it. However, when he was with Em, it was altogether different. When he was with her, he felt everything on a whole new level, deep into his soul.