Waking to a Burn by fsqueeze,fsqueeze

“Do it like before, sugar,” she murmured, “with both hands.”

I froze like a guilty thing, but she wasn’t looking back.

Pushing myself up, I let go of my erection, swiped some cream, and resumed the deep tissue massage of her bottom. My heart raced like a thief’s.

I needed to put my penis away, but my hands were occupied. And even if I drew one hand back, my erection was impossibly rigid. I didn’t think I could tuck it away with one hand. Beyond those concerns was the simple truth that it felt good to have it out and to see it near her big bottom.

“Oh, that’s perfect,” Mom sighed.

I squeezed her again, and she moaned. The sound made me feel reckless again. Grasping the two halves in each hand, I massaged her so as to spread her wide apart, to bare her little secret to me.

There it was.

Mom gasped.

Relaxing for a moment, I massaged and pried again.

Yeah.

Mom’s breath caught in her throat.

And again.

“Oh!” she moaned.

Almost unable to speak, I couldn’t recognize my own voice when I asked her if she needed me to put the ointment on the inside again.

“Please do, if–if you don’t object.”

“I don’t,” I wanted to say, but the words caught in my throat at the surge of exhilaration I felt.

I gathered a small amount and, rather than coating the side of my hand, I used the fingertips of my middle and index fingers to make little circles. Starting at her lower back, those fingers massaged deeply and crept downward. Down and into the gap. Further.

Mom’s breath came in fits and starts. Sometimes, she held it. Others, she drew small rapid chuffs. In between, she gasped.

Gathering more, I resumed, now rubbing circles on the tender flesh all around her tiny star. When I finished the outer ring, I hesitated. Then, I decided not to ask permission. I depressed my fingertips onto the taut wrinkles in the center spot.

Mom sighed.

I made the circles, gathering the sensation and holding it in my mind. My middle finger passed over the entry point. The texture changed. Something tightened. And relaxed. The tip of my middle finger dipped–ever so slightly–into the passage.

I drew it back in astonishment.

The halves of Mom’s fanny clenched together, and she said, “That–.” She stopped and cleared her throat. “That will do, sugar.”

Breathing as if having finished a face, I stared down at her bottom.

Mom said, “I’m sorry to have asked such a thing of you, but it helps a great deal. You may–you may dismount me now.”

I had to clear my own throat before responding, “Yeah. Okay.”

As rapidly as I could, I opened my briefs with one hand and, easing my hips back, drew my erection inside of my shorts. Sliding my hand between the shorts and my tummy, I realigned the rod to ride up my belly, pinned to it by the waistband and belt of my shorts.

The zipper, I decided, would be too noisy. I left it open.

I climbed off Mom and sat with my back to her on the side of the bed.

“Hey, Mom?”

“Yes?”

“Why do you keep telling me ‘don’t make fun’ or ‘save your comments’ and stuff like that?”

I looked over my shoulder at her. She had just finished turning her face towards me. She curtly said, “I think you know how I can be quite sensitive about my appearance.”

“What’s wrong with your appearance?”

She blinked for a moment, surprised by the implied compliment, it seemed. “Well, I–I don’t have the body of an eighteen-year-old girl anymore like the ones in your school. I’m a grown woman with a large fanny, and I know there’s a touch of hail damage back there. Since I’m splayed out naked on this bed, I don’t need to hear any wise remarks about such things.”

“I would never,” I responded, “say anything like that.”

She said, “Thank you for being a gentleman.”

Shaking my head, I clarified, “It isn’t about manners. I mean, there isn’t anything bad to say about your body, Mom. No guy my age or any age would have anything but good things to say about it, especially about your bottom.”

Mom smiled in a fatigued way. She said, “What a lovely thing to say. Thank you.” When I rose, Mom said, “Would you please bring me a big glass of water. I’m feeling comfortable enough to sleep.”

“Sure.”

Mom’s eyes found my crotch. “Your zipper is down.”

“Huh? Oh,” I said, quickly reaching down to zip myself.

“Oh, and drape that sheet over my fanny, will you, sugar?”

I covered her, fetched the ice water, and shut off her light.

Downstairs, I chided myself for my secret desires. What did they make me? A freak? Something worse?

Almost in a panic, I jumped on our laptop and began asking questions. “Am I wrong if I like putting my finger in my girlfriend’s bottom?” It didn’t take me long to discover that I would improve the efficiency of my searches by using more crude terminology. “What does it mean if I like my girlfriend’s b___hole?” “Am I gay if I like girls’ a__holes?” “Does it feel good to girls to have a finger in their a__?” “Can a__-men still like p___y?”

These questions took me to a lot of places. Many of them were terribly disgusting, but a few seemed helpful. Opinions varied significantly, but to my relief what I learned helped me conclude that I was not abnormal.

It was girls I wanted, and girls alone. I knew it in my heart, but reading about it helped affirm everything I felt inside. Also, it was normal for some men to be turned on by bottoms and anuses. Equally, I discovered it was normal for some women to enjoy a variety of anal-based sexual activities. A man who liked the things I liked could also equally like a woman’s special place.

I went to bed feeling much better, but there remained one problem. I had typed “girlfriend” or “girl” to my questions–not “mother.” Probably because I already knew what the answers would be.

No, those feelings were not normal. Not at all.

***

It was half-past two in the morning when Mom called for me again. Her voice was weak and labored, almost like she wasn’t sure if she wanted to wake me. When I opened the door, she said, “You can turn on the light.”

She sounded different.

Switching on the light, I saw that she had covered her entire body with the sheet during the night. Mom’s face was almost as red as her back, her eyes were glassy and bloodshot, and there was a wet spot under her eyes and nose on her pillowcase.

“Oh, no, Mom. What’s wrong?”

“I’m very uncomfortable,” she uttered on the verge of sobbing.

“What do you need? More ointment?”

“That’d help a bit, I’m sure, but–and please don’t judge me about this–but I could use some liquor, something to dull the pain and the itchiness.”

“I’ll get you whatever you want.”

“Thank you, sugar,” she said, sniffing. “You know those short tumblers I keep in the cabinet next to the liquor?”

I nodded.

“I’d like you to fill one about this high with Jack Daniels.” Her fingers indicated something like four shots’ worth. “No ice. No water. Just Jack–and bring me a straw for it. Cut that straw in half so it doesn’t fall out of the tumbler all the time.”

“Okay.”

I brought it back for her a few minutes later.

“Can you bring the straw to my lips for me?”

I did. Mom took a quick pull, coughed lightly, and groaned a “thank you.” Then, she nodded for me to let her have another sip. She took a larger one, and it went down more smoothly than the first.

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