Cassie and Linnae and Lavender wended their way through the back stage bustle to where Ariana was currently sitting calmly, letting one of the hairdressers make some last minute adjustments.
After an awkward moment, Cassie cleared her throat and said, “I think you can relax, Ariana. He isna here.”
“He was here last night; he’ll be here tonight,” Ariana said absently, in much the same tone that someone would assert that the sun would come up tomorrow.
Cassie gaped at her. “How did you know he was here last night? Did ye see him?”
Ariana shook her head slightly, checking her mascara for the seventeenth time. “No. I know Nathan. He was here. I could feel him.”
The girls stared at each other, wondering what it would be like to go on stage with a madwoman.
“Tis four minutes to time, and…,” Lavender started uncertainly.
Marie walked up quietly. “He’s here.”
Ariana nodded in satisfaction. Everyone else looked at each other. “What does he look like?” Lavender asked.
Marie considered. “He cleans up nicely. And he looks about ten years younger than he does on telly.” She considered a little more. “Maybe fifteen.”
“Two minutes to time,” Ariana said, standing up and walking toward her starting position behind the ranks of backup singers.
Cassie took a deep breath and looked at everyone else. “Well, here we go. Whatever happens, we support Ariana, right?”
The performance went off without any major problems. Every song was sung and all the music was played. The only difference was in the movement of the stars; there was one seat that Ariana would not look at, no matter what. It was the same seat that the other four kept glancing at whenever they got an opportunity.
Linnae and Lavender were on stage, performing their sentimental duet, a mother’s lullaby to her child, which neither one had ever actually sung to any child, but was certain to put glistening tears in the corners of the eyes of most of the audience.
Ariana was staring at her phone, watching the seconds tick away, waiting for one text message which should be coming any second. She had deliberately avoided looking at Nathan, and had managed so far. She had no idea how she would face him back stage and tell him that he was just someone who she had raced around the world with, and now it was time to go their separate ways. If she didn’t look him in the eye, she could say it; but if she didn’t look him in the eye he would know she wasn’t telling the truth. She knew that he was attracted to… no, she had to be more honest with herself than that… in love with her. After the finish, after the kiss that flung her world on a dizzying spin through exploding stars and took them both by surprise, as soon as she had made sure that he was okay, she had quietly slipped away to the airport, confused and scared and determined to depart quietly. Someone who was just a good friend wouldn’t have raced across the city and shouted over the security barrier after her, in painful, halting, Gaelic, the Irish Blessing for travelers. It had brought tears to her eyes.
She knew him, better than she had known anyone, surprisingly. And he knew her. That could be disconcerting, spending time with someone who knew what you would be thinking, even before you thought it. Or valued you above their own life. She knew that if God asked him to make a choice between her death and the entire rest of the world dying, he would immediately offer his own life in her place, and if told that were not possible, would very likely choose her to live. That was a heavy burden, especially since, if she were put on a lie detector this very moment, she might have to admit she would make the very same choice.
And then the text message popped up; “Aired. Congratulations!”
Her mouth twitched and she set her phone down and thumbed her intercom. “Daniel, I need the few minutes now, please?”
Over her earphone she heard Daniel’s voice say, “Everyone rest easy for a few minutes, Ariana has the stage for an announcement.”
Everyone stopped and looked at her with puzzled expressions as she strode out onto the stage with resolute steps and a determined expression. Her ‘stage’ smile came out automatically as she entered the audience’s field of vision. The audience, sensing a change in the program, waited for her in expectant silence. Forcing herself not to look at Nathan’s seat, she swept the rest of the audience with her eyes. When she judged the audience’s expectation was at its peak, she spoke.
“Thank you all for sharing the evening with us. I’m Ariana, though you probably already know that.” There were some chuckles and a little scattered applause from the audience. “And for years Madri-Gals has been a great part of my life.” This brought more applause, but it died away quickly as they sensed she had more to say. “Eight months ago our publicist came to me and said she had a spot for me on Celebrity Fantastic Race and, please, please take it, it will be great publicity. So I did. Though I should probably mention tha while I hae heard o the Fantastic Race, I hae never actually seen it.” This drew a wave of appreciative chuckles and small surge of sympathetic groans. She smiled and nodded encouragingly, spreading her hands helplessly. “What YOU may not know is that the entire race is run and over in less than three weeks and then broadcast one week at a time for months after. Of course, when you get back, the first question everyone asks is…,” she paused suggestively.
A thousand variations on, “Did you win?” rolled back at her from the audience.
She nodded emphatically. Her neck was starting to ache; her eyes wanted to look at Nathan, but she couldn’t. Not yet. “And o course tha is the one thing you can no tell anyone. They make ya sign this contract with these dire secrecy clauses. You can no say a word until something is aired.” She sighed. “So on the night o the first episode, near the entire crew were walking around back stage staring at their little portable electronics. Anytime they were off stage, their eyes were glued to these little screens. We almost missed cues, people literally ran off stage looking for a telly. It was so bad our music director, Daniel, ordered a black out. When a performance starts, all electronics are off until after the final curtain call.” The audience laughed, hanging on her every word. “But Daniel is a darlin man, and verra understanding, so he had each episode recorded and a large projection telly set up back stage. The minute everyone is out of wardrobe, they start up the machine and watch the episode. And o course Daniel has a front row seat to that.” This got more laughter and a scattering of applause. “And after that I got a hundred questions about that episode.” More laughter; which she waited out. “And sixteen weeks ago, on the first episode, what team was I on?”
“Team number one,” half the audience shouted out enthusiastically.
Ariana nodded. “And last week was the eleventh week. And what team was I on?”
This time the entire audience shouted out, “Team number one.” She even heard shouts from behind her on the stage.