I was never able to get these thoughts out of my head again. I was able to stay busy enough to keep them from being a major distraction at work. At home, however, it was a different matter.
My wife and I had fallen into that old married couple routine and rarely had sex. I joked with her that she had so many headaches and was so tired she should see a doctor. She didn’t appreciate the humor.
Then I made the fatal mistake of allowing myself to fantasize about Dianne. I now desired her. But not just sexually really, I had not fallen in love with her, but I did love her mind, her spirit, her personality, and now her body too.
She soon would be the subject of my masturbation sessions. I knew this was wrong, but I found that I couldn’t help myself. I rationalized with myself that I wouldn’t cheat on my wife for real, but this was a way I could possibly relieve this sexual tension I was feeling.
I tried to act natural around Dianne, although I did find myself sucking in my gut a little around her. And one day I went to her office and she was wearing that blue blouse. I started to get an erection. I was standing there in front of her talking as she sat at her desk. Normally I would have left, or sat down so she wouldn’t notice, but I wanted her to notice. I wanted her to see how aroused she now made me.
If she noticed she never let on, she didn’t stare or bug out her eyes like you hear in these sex stories. She did seem to have a furtive smile though.
After I left I thought to myself you should be ashamed of yourself, but I wasn’t ashamed. This is how far I had let my desires carry me.
She only made one other overtly sexual comment after the one about kissing, but it seemed to me she was dressing a little nicer now. And did she have on some makeup yesterday? We made eye contact more now and held it longer. It seemed our verbal exchanges were warmer now, and we both seem to use a lot of double entendre that we would laugh off as a joke or witty banter.
How did it get to this point? I was full blown infatuated now. I was mad at myself, but it wasn’t me. It was that stupid dream that started it. I don’t think I would ever have gotten to this point if it hadn’t been for that damn dream. But nothing has happened aside from some almost indistinguishable flirting, and some wild fantasies. I still wouldn’t cheat on my wife, would I?
Then our company purchases some new software and all division managers and facility managers are required to take the training at corporate headquarters. And wouldn’t you know it Dianne and I are scheduled for the same three day session.
I am going to be out of town with her for three days. Staying in a hotel, separate rooms naturally, but still would there ever be a better opportunity to act upon my desires. What will I do if the opportunity presents itself? So far this has just been a fantasy, and possibly an unrequited fantasy. Still I can’t get it out of my mind.
On the way to the airport after telling my wife goodbye, I begin to fantasize about what could happen and try to decide if I would cheat on my wife and fulfill my desires. I could not completely arrive at a firm decision, so I stopped at a pharmacy on the way to the airport and purchased some prophylactics and some KY jelly. Even as I do this, I hope I will have the will power to control myself, but if I can’t, I better be prepared.
Thankfully, no opportunity presents itself. We spent all day in training. At night the company had dinner and activities prepared and we were always surrounded by our coworkers. We did have a good time though. Dianne and I sat beside each other in class and carried on like school kids sometimes. We sat together at dinner each night. It was like being a couple in some ways and I was truly enjoying it.
We were so comfortable around each other some of our coworkers jokingly called us a couple and made comments like Dianne was my work-wife. I was not offended at all by these comments but often feigned disgust so no one would suspect anything other than a truly platonic relationship. I was pleased to notice that Dianne was not offended either and even playfully played along most times.
Occasionally she would say something like “come along darling” or lace her arm in mine and walk arm and arm when people would make these comments, and laugh it off so convincingly it raised no concern. It was at those times that I thought something might really happen and started to wonder if Dianne is having some of these same feelings.
The last night after dinner no activity was planned but a large group of us sat in the bar talking and laughing and drinking. As we left several of us rode the elevator up together. Dianne had grabbed me arm and arm again. I think this time to steady her, and me too for that matter, because we had quite a lot to drink. One of the other people started that couple thing again, which had become a running joke.
When we arrived at Dianne’s floor, she started off the elevator then spun around, “oh sorry, goodnight darling” she said and gave me a quick peck on the lips. She laughed it off so heartily, everyone on the elevator laughed, except me. Damn it was all I could do to not follow her. The woman next to me said, “She is so delightful, I know you are glad you have her on your team.” To which I said, “I certainly am.” But I would be more glad to “have her”, I thought to myself.
It probably was fortunate that we had separate flights because I didn’t see her until the next week at work. I found myself actually avoiding her for the first couple hours, not really sure why, but I did have a lot of emails to catch up on and she did too I’m sure.
When we finally saw each other in the hall we chatted about the trip. We both mentioned it was fun and the training, while boring at times, was actually good, and then went about our work. Neither of us made mention of the kiss.
I failed to mention earlier that Tim and Dianne and I would, occasionally, go to lunch together. A lot of times there would be a project we were working on and we would have a working lunch. But it was not uncommon to have a leisurely lunch together sometimes just to celebrate how well things were going.
Today we decided to have a leisurely lunch together, but Tim did want to hear about the new software. We told him about it and the trip, and then Dianne blurted out, everyone thought Bob and I were a couple and laughed. Of course we had to explain this to Tim.
Matter-of-factly Tim says, “I can see why people would think that.”
I asked him why?
“Because you two go together. You both have the same drive, you both are very smart, and your personalities just mesh.”
Dianne and I looked at each other. Tim had put his finger on why I was drawn to her. I could see in her eyes she was acknowledging what Tim had said was true. I wasn’t sure if it was for the first time for her, or if it was something that had been building in her as in me, but this definitely was a turning point of some kind.
When Dianne and I were working on a problem, it was not uncommon to argue. I respected her opinion and wanted it, but we both were strong willed and self confident enough to forcefully defend our opinions. Tim used to say we argue like brother and sister, but since that day he started saying you argue like an old married couple.