I scowled at him.
“That’s a very disrespectful thing to say about your best friend.”
“I used to tease him about it all the time, at least until he started banging my little sister, then somehow, it just didn’t seem quite as funny.”
I could feel my blood begin to boil. I didn’t like my brother’s quick wit and razor sharp tongue directed at me or my relationship with Michael.
“Just go to bed!” I screeched.
“Okay, okay. Take my phone so I don’t drunk-dial Monica,” he said while shakily rising to his feet before wobbling out of the kitchen.
I could hear the creaking as my brother climbed the stairs toward his bedroom.
“Lay off the pizza Alyssa, if your ass gets any bigger there’s no way in hell I can be seen with you.”
Alyssa’s jaw dropped open as we heard my brother’s bedroom door slam shut.
– – – – –
We tried watching TV but of course, there was nothing on. After a half-hour of randomly flipping through channels, we retreated to my room and laid down on my bed and began talking while perusing through my stacks of old Cosmopolitan magazines.
“Be honest with me Mel, do you think my ass is big like Jim says?”
I couldn’t hide my stunned expression.
“You’re kidding me, right? Every part of you looks great, and if you let my drunken buffoon of a brother alter your opinion of how you look, then you must be crazy.”
I wasn’t just saying that to be nice because Alyssa Silva was was truly stunning. She moved into our neighborhood from Brazil during our 7th-grade year and we actually met at church while taking our Confirmation classes. She was 5’7”, nearly as tall as me and weighed about 120 pounds. She had dark brunette hair and a deep olive complexion. It wasn’t an exaggeration to say she had the body of a model and every guy in our class was crazy about her and it was very easy to see why.
“I think he was just joking around,” she said.
“He’s drunk and probably won’t even remember talking to us tomorrow.”
“I couldn’t believe he… you know… wiped his dirty fingers on you.”
“Todd is the one who started that nasty shit years ago, and trust me, it pales in comparison to other things they’ve done.”
She smiled at me.
“Still, you’re lucky to have older brothers, my house is boring compared to yours.”
Alyssa had two younger sisters who were still in elementary school, so our experiences with our siblings were much different.
“I’ve had to endure the torments of the damned for the past sixteen years,” I teased, “so I’d gladly trade my brother for your sisters and get a few hours peace and serenity.”
We turned our attention back to our respective magazines and I had nearly completed reading an article about which exercises were best to help alleviate menstrual cramps when Alyssa broke the silence.
“She’s beautiful, isn’t she.”
I peered over at the Cosmo Alyssa was reading.
“Christy Turlington in a twenty-thousand dollar wedding dress, what’s not to like?”
We smiled at each other.
“I’d give anything to have her body,” she said longingly.
“Oh my God, Alyssa, are you kidding me… you do have her body.”
“Right Mel, she’s like three inches taller than me.”
“And both of you are like… rail thin… I think you need to get your vision checked.”
There were a few moments of comfortable silence while we continued to peruse our magazines until Alyssa again broke the silence.
“Do you ever… you know… compare how you look to other women?”
“I guess I do, but not while I’m looking at Supermodels in Cosmo.”
She smiled.
“So when, then?”
I thought for a moment.
“Sometimes… you know… in the locker room, before or after P.E. I think it’s only natural to look a little and compare yourself to others, but I try not to dwell on it.”
Unfortunately, I wasn’t built like Alyssa and I don’t have that long and lean look. I wasn’t fat by any means, but I had a more athletic body type: big breasts, big bottom, voluptuous. I reasoned that it was human nature to admire the physical attributes in others that I, unfortunately, didn’t possess.
“I do the same thing Mel: sneak glances and compare myself to the girls in our class, especially in P.E. when we’re all semi-clothed or… you know… naked.”
She paused for a moment in reflection.
“I wish my breasts were bigger, like yours.”
“Alyssa, if you had my bigger breasts, then you’d have my bigger ass that went along with them.”
We both giggled.
“Your ass isn’t big, it’s… you know… sexy.”
I smiled at her.
“Jim has told me a million times that I’m the only white girl in Glendale who has a black girl’s ass.”
Alyssa laughed.
“I think he’s right, you have a sexy black girl’s ass.”
Alyssa was my best friend and I trusted her. She knew all of my secrets and I knew all of hers. The most disconcerting thing was that for the first time in my life, I felt sexual tension around another woman, and I wasn’t sure what to make of it. Looking, admiring, or comparing myself to another woman from afar was somehow okay. However, talking like this to her and… feeling … like this, especially around her, was different and wrong. Or was it? I wasn’t quite sure yet.
I put those disturbing thoughts out of my mind and quickly decided to change the subject.
“I’m slowing down Alyssa, you ready for bed?”
“Yeah, I’m getting tired too.”
Silently, we undressed and got into our jammies which consisted of sleeper shorts and big, comfortable T-shirts. Could she feel this too? There was electricity in the air… sexual electricity. I could feel her sneaking peeks at me and I very nonchalantly snuck glances at her too while we were changing. I quickly shut off the light and we got into bed.
We bid each other goodnight, but it took hours for me to fall asleep. When sleep finally did come, it was restless and dreamless. Even though nothing happened between us, somehow it was as if a door had been opened, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to close it again.
– – – – –
It was homecoming week. In addition to attending all of my classes and studying, I volunteered to be on the committee that would decorate the gym for the homecoming dance that would take place after the game.
Alyssa and I talked a few times in the hall during the week and were able to spend some brief time at lunch together. Neither of us brought up Saturday night and I was beginning to think that maybe it was just me and the sexual tension that I felt when we were alone together was just in my mind.
On Saturday night, I ended up sitting with Alyssa and Andy and we watched the homecoming game together. I would have loved to have sat with Michael, but of course, he was out on the field playing.
We were all sophomores, but Michael was an upperclassman and had invited me to the dance. Since Alyssa and Andy weren’t, they couldn’t go and decided on seeing a movie instead. I was going to stay the night at Alyssa’s and I told her I’d be there as soon as the dance was over.
I had actually bought two dresses for the dance. The first dress was a simple draped tea-length dress that was plain white and truly God-awful. Yet, it was something my mom would approve of and not give me a hard time about. The dress that I secretly purchased with Alyssa to actually wear was a black Bodycon mini-dress that had side slits in the front which exposed a lot of thigh and a plunging v-neckline and back which put a lot of my breasts on display. It was skin tight and the dramatic black color was the perfect accent to my long blonde hair. Alyssa also let me borrow a pair of her three-inch black pumps which went with the little frock magnificently, and it gave me a few more inches in height so Michael and I would look good together.