“Tom?” I gasped. “I never thought he was that way inclined.”
“Oh get real,” she disparaged. “All men are. But Susan was having none of it and he got the hump on.”
“Sir – sir – Susan?” I stammered.
“Susan Trent,” She amplified. “You remember her?”
My head was reeling, of course I knew Susan Trent, she had been one of the gang when the boys were doing their – well whatever it was they did when they were all at Collingwood. “But she is married!” I objected.
Carol threw her head back and laughed, a real roar of mirth. “Oh you are priceless Sal! I tell you I was having a lesbian affair and that is your objection? She is married? So am I, and you, what the hell does that matter?”
I could not help but try to picture them together, it was like trying to jam a jigsaw bit to another wrong bit. Susan was a tiny elf of a woman, delicate, shy and utterly under the thumb of her bully of a husband, she and mighty Carol getting sweaty together? Nah!
“I never suspected,” I admitted, meaning Susan, but Carol thought otherwise.
“That I was bi? Not something I broadcast, puts other women off, they get jumpy, scared I might make a pass at them. Nice skirt by the way, shows off your legs.” I twitched the hem down and she howled laughter again. “See what I mean? Relax, I am not going to try and jump you!”
I felt myself blushing hard and tried to cool it with a long drink of the cold wine.
“So Tom, what? Threw you out?”
“No, he sulked, and told Susan’s husband, then she would not see me anymore so I fucked him off, I might have married him but he does not own me.” She fell into a moody silence, I got myself trying to tug my skirt down again, why the hell did I wear the short leather one today? Oh yeah, to impress Carol, our friendship had always been like that, when we went out I checked myself in the mirror to see what some potential man might see, but if Carol would approve. Got it wrong occasionally, like the stockings. I glanced at hers in plain sight. Two faced bitch!
To my horror I saw her glance down also and smile knowingly, crap! I did not know where to put my eyes, I fixed on her hair, she reached up and combed her locks with her fingers.
“So Tom had no idea about your…” Er…
“Proclivities? No, look it is not what you think, I like men, but sometimes I see a girl and I think, wow, I like that, I do not go prowling around looking for a willing girl.”
I hesitated but the wine was loosening my tongue. “So how did you and Susan….?”
“I was getting a bit porky,” she smoothed her hands down her stomach, drawing my eyes. “I started going to aerobics and there was Susan, taking the class.”
“Susan teaches aerobics? She kept that quiet.”
Carol smiled at her memories. “She kept everything quiet, We got to having a juice afterwards and talking about the Collingwood days, then one day she suggested we get a sauna to relax, the towels were the first thing to relax and – well – it just or happened.
I shivered at the image, except Carol was not peeling the towel off Susan, it was off me. What would I have done? Slapped her hand away? Not likely, her size and strength intimidated me, even more her towering self-confidence, would I have just let her undress me and touch me? My cheeks were burning red hot and I scrambled in my mind for some other image. I found myself slipping off the stool and grabbed the table to push myself back, the second bottle was empty, I slipped a third and picked up my part full glass. “Let’s go sit down.”
I led the way to the lounge and curled my legs up onto the sofa as Carol flumped into an arm chair. At once I realised sitting as I was the skirt had hiked up a half mile and my legs were totally out there, but if I re-arranged myself Carol would notice and know why, distractingly she crossed her long legs again.
“I am sorry, by the way,” Carol said, breaking a long but not uncomfortable silence.
“Sorry for what?” I asked.
“Oban.”
I had to think for a bit. “Oh, that,” we had never mentioned it and neither had Mark.
“That,” she was twisting the glass again. “I screwed your husband, that was not cool. I am sorry.”
I did not know what to say, but if my blush got any harder my head would melt.
“You never said anything, I thought our friendship would be over. Do you mind me asking, why you did not do something to stop us?”
“I…” I what? I am a voyeur and enjoyed it, that I wanted to have something on Mark? I shook my head.
Carol was concentrating on her wine, not looking at me. “I did it to get back at you, I should not have, it was childish.”
“Get back at me?” I was astonished. “What did I ever do to you?”
She glanced briefly at me. “Kelly’s,” she responded briefly
Kelly’s? Mark and I had stayed there a few times, he liked the mirrored four posters, they made me airsick. Oh – Ah! But no, Carol and I went once, we were invited to some sort of party, for the life of me I could not recall who or what it was about, oh my God, I had gotten wasted, a couple of guys had come on to us and they were renting a room, we went up with them. But what about that would Carol take as an offence, it was not as though I had forced her into the one-night drunken stand.
“Your date passed out,” I said slowly. “you pushed him off the bed and even then he did not wake up.”
“Yours was very active though,” her tone was brittle.
“You wanted him?” I groped for the root of what I could see was anger in her.
“No stupid, I wanted you, instead I had to lie there watching you with him in the mirror. I hated you so much.”
“You wanted me?” I was lost. “You mean you wanted me to ditch my date because yours was out?” That kind of made sense, we had a strict pact, if only one of us pulled we ditched the guy, we both left a club with a man or neither of us did.
“I wanted you,” she stressed the ‘wanted’.
“I always wanted you, it was bad enough hearing you in the next bedroom, but that night I was right next to you, you were glorious and I… was… so…. Fucking… jealous!” In the car I was thinking of that night and thought ‘time for pay back!’ Pretty sad of me, huh?”
“You were jealous of me? You!” I found myself mimicking her twisting of the glass and put it on the coffee table with a firm click.
“No, I was jealous of that guy, I wanted to be the one doing the things he was doing to you.” She met my astonished eyes and made a toasting gesture. “You were fantastic by the way, your looked stunning and drunk or not you took that guy into orbit and blew his mind.”
There was a stunned silence on my part, then Carol stirred. “Can I borrow your phone? I better call a taxi.”
I did not want her to go. “You asked why I did not interrupt you,” I blurted out. “Because I enjoyed it, I enjoyed watching you and Mark, but mainly you.”
Her eyes widened and she mouthed a silent “Oh!”
My heart was hammering painfully, I could feel a vein in my throat pulsing, she must be able to see it. Maybe it was the wine talking, or maybe it had been two months since I had known any touch but my own. “Do you still feel that way about me?” My voice sounded hoarse and strained in my ears.
Carol flowed to her feet, for a big girl with a lot of wine in her she was very graceful, her glass clinked against mine on the table, I watched like a rabbit caught in headlights as she stepped around the table to stand in front of me, I had to crane my head back to look up. Her firm hands took my wrists and gently pulled me up off the couch, my shoes touched the floor but there was no strength in my shaking legs, her grip was all that stopped my sinking down into a puddle of Sally goo.