She placed her hand on his, her other hand’s fingers running through his blond hair that wasn’t covered by bandages. She recalled his face at his mother’s funeral. He was numb, emotionless, staring blankly at nothing. Holly remembered hugging him then. Sam just stood there, unmoving, unresponsive. At Sharon’s house, he was in the bedroom, not interacting with anyone, mourning.
“Sam,” Holly whispered. She leaned down and kissed the side of his head.
She sat by his side, drifting off to sleep as the sun was rising.
**
That evening Holly was packing a few items at her home. She was headed back to the hospital to be there with Sam. She had been there all day.
“What do you mean you’re staying there?” Jon complained. “I was thinking tonight we could go out and you could hook up with – ”
“No. I’m not going out. I’m not hooking up with some guy you find for me. I’m not calling a past boyfriend. I’m going to be there for Sam,” Holly snapped at Jon.
“Ah geez, you hardly know the kid. I mean, how often do you see that side of the family,” Jon continued.
“Not enough. Someone needs to be there for him.”
Jon watched her pack a few more items. “Ah, I see how it is. Your own kids don’t like you so now you want to feel good about yourself and be there for your nephew.”
“Stop – ”
“No, I get it. You’ve been a shitty mom to your own kids so you’re trying to bury that guilt by being there for Stan.”
Holly slapped Jon. “It’s Sam.” She grabbed her small bag and left.
On the way to the hospital, Jon’s words rang through her ears. He was right to some degree – she had been a bad mother to her own kids, hardly having much of a relationship with them. She shook her head, thinking about all the sexual escapades she went on with Jon. She should’ve been there for her children instead.
Holly asked herself if she was indeed trying to bury the guilt she had by spending time with Sam. She didn’t know, but didn’t care – she knew someone had to be there with him.
Sam was right where she left him. Holly took her seat, held his hand, and sat there.
Jon called several times the next morning – Holly didn’t answer.
Julie arrived that afternoon, joining Holly at Sam’s side.
“I don’t know why he drove down here,” Julie thought out loud. “Maybe he had to get away, to just drive somewhere and picked this direction.”
“I know he wasn’t coming to see me,” Holly’s eyes lowered. “My own kids won’t.”
Julie didn’t reply, putting her arm around Holly instead. “Thank you for staying with him.”
Holly nodded, “He’s all alone.”
“I know. I come by to visit him at Sharon’s, bring him dinner, and while he’s physically there, he’s not. You know?” Julie pointed to her head.
“I can’t imagine what he went through, to lose her at such a young age.”
“He didn’t go back to school, he’s wasting away and now this,” Julie shook her head.
“We have to make sure we don’t lose him too.”
Julie stayed for the rest of the week, flying back to South Carolina the following weekend. Holly was alone with Sam again, not answering Jon’s calls, only going home to bathe and grab clean clothes. She slept on the small couch in his hospital room.
Fourteen days after Sam’s arrival in the Miami hospital, he woke up.
Slight movements here and there, moving his feet, coughing, nodding his head when the doctor asked him questions. He’d squeeze Holly’s hand. She’d hug him, giving his forehead a kiss. Sam’s eyes remained closed, but Holly saw a small smile form on his face.
“I’m right here,” she whispered, watching Sam nod his head.
The next day was more of the same. It looked as though his eyes briefly opened then closing to shut out the bright lights.
Holly fed him dinner, assisting him with moving the spoon to his mouth. She ran her fingers through his hair again, seeing his eyes half closed. Sam tried to speak, but the words wouldn’t come just yet. He instead smiled in Holly’s direction.
The next day brought more progress. The following evening, the lights turned low, moonlight coming in through the hospital window; Holly’s head was resting on the rail of Sam’s bed when she felt his hand touch her.
Sam’s touch was gentle. His fingers barely scratched at her scalp, moving her hair around. “Sam?” Holly woke up, grabbing his hand. “I’m here, I’ve always been here.”
Sam whispered something, but Holly couldn’t hear it. “Are you trying to speak? Take it easy, sweetie, I’m right here.”
His mouth moved again, he cleared his throat. He squeezed her hand.
“Sam,” Holly leaned in closer. “What is it?”
Sam spoke once more, this time more audible, “M-M-Mom.”
Holly’s eyes widened. “Oh no,” she thought, “he doesn’t remember.”
She saw his eyes wide open, staring into hers. “Mom,” Sam said again, louder. He started crying, tears of joy, smiling widely at his aunt. “I knew you were here with me.”
“Sam,” Holly paused. “I, uh.”
“I missed you so much, Mom. I knew it was a bad dream. The cabin. It wasn’t real. I’ve been asleep this whole time. I thought I lost you.”
“Sam,” Holly tried to stop him, but he kept speaking.
“I love you so much. You’ve been right here all along, I thought you were,” Sam paused. “It was a bad dream.”
Holly nodded, “He thinks I’m Sharon,” she thought.
She did the only thing she could in this situation, the only thing that came to mind. “Yes, sweetie. I’m here. I’ve been here with you while you slept. You were in a bad car wreck, but you’re fine now.”
“Mom,” Sam tried to sit up, but struggled. He opened his arms, inviting her in for a hug. Holly nodded and hugged her nephew.
“It was a horrible dream,” Sam said again.
“Yes,” Holly said, not sure what else to add.
“I love you,” Sam ended the hug, his hand caressing Holly’s face.
“I,” Holly took his hand, seeing Sam’s sweet smile to a woman he thought is his mother. She kissed his hand.
“I love you too, son.”
Chapter 4
“I can’t tell him. Not yet. He can’t go through it again,” Holly thought, pacing back and forth outside of Sam’s hospital room the next morning.
“I’ll go along with it. I’ll have to,” Holly sighed, waiting for the doctor to arrive. “I want to.”
She thought about her own failures as a parent, thinking that perhaps Jon was onto something, she can make things better, by pretending to be Sam’s mother – temporarily she hoped.
“Ok,” the doctor said, exiting Sam’s room. “He’d going better than expected. Speech is fine, vision is fine. He seems to know who he is, where he is, and so on.”
“What about other memories? He seems to think I’m someone else, not his aunt.”
“Yes, the brain is repairing itself; there could be some ongoing confusion. Now, if personality changes occur, I can recommend a great therapist. In the meantime, we’ll continue to run tests on motor functions and – ”
“Should I go along with it?” Holly interrupted. “Him thinking I’m someone else?”
“Oh, well, that’s up to you. I’d be very careful though. If he gets confused, he may be upset. I’ve seen cases where the memory returns and eventually things like that get sorted out – it just takes time,” the doctor explained.
“I see,” Holly nodded, thinking about what to do next. She watched the doctor turn the corner down the hall and reentered Sam’s room.