Mutual Benefits Ch. 04 – First Time – by BashfulScribe..,

“What do you want from Taylor?”

It wasn’t a question I was expecting. I stared at Crystal for a second before sighing. “Look, Morgan already gave me the whole spiel, so I’d appreciate it if we could-”

“Oh, I know,” Crystal replied firmly, folding her arms in front of her chest. “She told me when she did. But now if I ever bring you up even in passing, she just looks at the floor and says nothing.”

That was a lot to process. “How many times is your friend group bringing me up…?” I began.

Crystal rolled her eyes. “Well, considering Taylor is starting to see you more than she sees us…”

I shrugged. “I’m at her disposal here. She tells me, ‘we’re gonna go study,’ and we go study.”

“Meanwhile you get nothing from the deal.” Crystal was looking less convinced by the second.

“She’s paying me, isn’t she? Or did she not mention that?”

“You have a job, don’t you? Even with minimum, your job would pay you better for your time than she would.”

“Then take it up with Mrs. Li! She’s the one that asked me to tutor her in the first place,” I replied, defensively yet lamely.

“I just don’t see why you’d keep doing this unless you were trying to get something from her,” Crystal replied, looking down to face Lexi.

Lexi was sitting on the pavement, eating her sandwich. She looked up at Crystal as if she only now noticed she was here. “Don’t look at me, I don’t have an opinion,” she replied with a mouth full of sandwich.

I decided to cut in. “Is this really about Taylor, or do you all just not trust me? It’s getting really old feeling like I have to prove myself to each and every one of you.”

Crystal mock-laughed at me. “Do you think I believe Morgan trusts you now? For all I know you beat her up.”

This was ridiculous. “How?!”

“I dunno, karate or something.”

My turn to roll my eyes. “For the hundredth time, I don’t know any martial arts!”

Crystal looked at me, weirded out. “What does art have to do with this?”

“Martial art is stuff like karate and kung fu. That’s the name,” Lexi lazily told her with her mouth full.

“Crystal, look at me. Do I look like I could beat Morgan up? What would I even gain from that?” I interrupted.

“Look, just saying, Morgan has literally never shut up about a person the way she’s shut up about you. She always has an opinion.”

“We’re not saying you did anything,” Lexi clarified. “Or at least I’m not. I think she’s just weirded out by you or something.”

I looked up to the heavens and sighed. “Tell you what, if I tell you the truth, will you get off my back?”

Crystal looked at me as if I was stupid. “Wasn’t that the point from the beginning, dumbass? You’re acting like you just had a big brain moment here.”

Completely charming, the whole group. I sighed again. “So…” I began. “Morgan came along with Taylor to her house during one of our studying sessions. I hope to God you already know this about her, but… she drinks…” I pushed for their reactions.

Crystal was looking at me with half-closed eyes. “Dude, we’ve been doing it since grade nine. How sheltered are you?”

“Okay, so… she was drinking, and she decided to talk in… really graphic detail about… sex, a sexual episode she had with… some guy.”

“Which guy?” Lexi gasped.

“You’re surprised she had sex but not that she drinks?” I asked, surprised.

Lexi waved my point away. “Of course I know she fucks. But she never tells me who. Spill the beans!”

“Yeah, I’m not doing that. Anyway… I wasn’t comfortable so I let her know, and she called me a virgin,” I continued.

Crystal gave me a look. “Which… you are,” she clarified.

“I am aware of that,” I replied annoyedly.

“That’ doesn’t sound s-”

“Then…” I interrupted emphatically. “Taylor was realizing Morgan was making me uncomfortable, and tr-”

“No, hold on, wait, I still don’t get why you were uncomfortable,” Crystal interrupted.

I squeezed my eyes shut and rubbed my forehead for a bit. “Okay, Crystal, just live in my world for a second, okay? I’ve barely had friends growing up, let alone romantic or sexual partners. So this is like an alien world to me, and I get easily overwhelmed. Imagine suddenly finding yourself in a new world, surrounded by people that speak a different language than you. To a smaller exte-”

“What language?”

“I don’t care, Crystal, it’s a comparison,” I replied back annoyedly.

“Well if I wanna imagine it, I gotta know the l-”

“Fine, Mandarin.”

“The hell is Mandarin?!” she asked ludicrously, looking around.

“It’s another word for Chinese,” Lexi clarified.

“Oh. Well then, you could come with me, you would be able to speak Mandarin, right?”

“Yes, I do, biǎo zi,” I replied, losing my patience.

Crystal looked at me, impressed. “Woah, it sounds like you have a totally different voice when you say that!”

“Do me next!” Lexi interjected.

“So if you suddenly found yourself surrounded by Chinese people, without me to guide you, you’d get pretty overwhelmed. Not just by the language, but the new customs, the different way people act, how things you think are important are so casual, how casual things to you are so important…”

“So… you’re overwhelmed around us Americans?” Crystal asked.

“Wha- no! The language thing is just a metaph-ugggh.” I raked my eyes across my face. “I’m saying that you guys have been in sexual situations a lot. I have not,”

“Because you’re a virgin,” Crystal added.

“Yes, because I’m that,” I agreed. “So sex has a certain… taboo nature to it. It’s heavy stuff. It’s controversial. It makes me bashful when people bring it up because I don’t know what I’m doing in sex and the mere thought of it makes me nervous. Tell me that I’m getting through to you, Crystal, because if you say no, I’m grabbing the closest lethal object and I’m killing myself.”

Lexi looked around. “What would be the closest…?” she trailed off.

“So Morgan talked about sex in front of you. Big deal. It just means she trusts you. She even drank in front of you.”

I shrugged. “That’s just where my comfort level is at. And I let her know that. And I guess she took it really personally. But there, that’s the truth, ask her if you don’t believe me.”

“Ask her? Who, Lexi?” Crystal asked.

“How would I know?” Lexi mumbled.

“No, ask Morgan,” I clarified.

“How can I ask her if every time I bring you up, she just looks at the floor?!” she demanded.

“Then I guess you’re going to have to trust me,” I replied.

“I think you just need to get over your sexphobia, dude,” Crystal replied.

“Thank you for your opinion,” I told her, turning to leave. This group was one massive headache. Were groups like this why school had so much drama? I was so glad I was a shy nerd and never involved with drama.

***

“Hey, I heard that you’ve been making Taylor Wise upset,” came a booming voice from behind me as I gathered some stuff at my locker. Too scared to get annoyed, I turned around to see Bryce Foxen, the school’s biggest jock. ‘Built like a fridge’ wouldn’t do him justice, and despite still being in high school, he was probably 6’2 or higher, so of course, he towered over practically anyone, including me.