That evening, just as I was thinking I’d better turn in before work tomorrow, the doorbell rang. I could only imagine one person showing up unannounced at that time. I hurried towards the front door and just as I had guessed, Patty’s voice on the intercom said: “Can I come up?”
I buzzed her in and waited for her in the open door. I could see she was upset because she started crying as soon as she saw my face. She hurried towards me and almost jumped into my open arms. She buried her face in my neck and she cried softly.
“Had a fight?” I just asked softly, stroking her hair.
She nodded.
As soon as she had settled down, I said: “Come on in.”
She walked into the living room and threw her thin coat on a chair. “I’m sorry to barge in here at this time,” she said. “I really had to get out of there and I had no other place to go.”
“It’s okay,” I said. “You’re always welcome here.”
“Thanks,” she said softly. She looked more agitated than sad, I noticed.
“Wine?” I asked.
“Yes,” she said.
I quickly poured her a glass and put it on the coffee table. I sat down on the couch, but Patty remained standing.
“I’m so sick of Ben being a little kid, Conrad,” she said. “He’s just too young for me.” She sighed.
I just smiled at her. She probably needed to vent, so I didn’t say anything and just let her talk whenever she wanted.
“When I came home he was playing his games. The place was a mess, there were empty chips bags and glasses everywhere. He hadn’t even showered yet. He had made no dinner arrangements whatsoever, so it was up to me again to take care of it. Again.”
She was pacing up and down through the living room, clearly agitated.
“I really didn’t want to start a fight, but I did tell him he needs to grow up and that he needs to contribute. He needs to get a real job, help around the house, learn to cook. And he said he would, but he always says that! And he never does!”
She took a deep breath in an attempt to calm herself down so she could continue her story of what happened.
“And then, after we had dinner, that I cooked, *again*, he just started touching me up and be all pushy with his boner and all and I just lost it. Does he really think I’m going to please him and let him have his way with me if he doesn’t take care of me?!? I got so angry, I just wanted to grab his balls and bring him to his knees with them. I really wanted to hurt that pushy cock of his. I didn’t do it of course, but I really wanted to. I pushed him away and made very clear that he can’t expect me to pleasure him if he doesn’t contribute.
And then he just turned it all around, blaming me, can you believe that?! He said that if I left to play with you all the time he had no choice but to play games to kill the time! Then I said that if he doesn’t grow up and start contributing, I was going to do whatever I wanted and he had no say in it whatsoever. Then he insinuated me being in love with you, which is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard, and then he actually accused me of cheating on him!! Can you believe that?!?”
She was fuming. Of course I totally understood that her playing with me must have been hard on Ben, especially since he was just 19 and this was his first serious relationship, but this sure wasn’t the right time to bring that up so I didn’t say anything.
Patty took a deep breath and she calmed down a little. She let herself drop to the couch, leaned back, closed her eyes and put her hand on her forehead.
“I just can’t do this anymore Conrad. We can’t talk about our relationship and he doesn’t seem to understand that he needs to grow up. It’s my house, I pay the bills, I work all week and he just thinks everything he needs just drops in his lap while he’s gaming. All he wants to do is play video games and fuck. That’s it. Just to play games and put his cock in me twice a day, nothing more. And I’m sick and tired of it.”
She took her wine and downed half the glass. Then she looked at me. I could see defeat in her eyes and then I knew Ben and her were permanently done. She had already made up her mind. And I honestly thought it would be for the best.
“So, what are you going to do?” I asked.
“I don’t know,” she said. “He’s a good kid and he means well.” She took a deep breath. “I think I have to break up with him, but I don’t want to. I really wanted it to work for once. He’s my fifth boyfriend in six years. When we got together I thought: he’s young, cute and a virgin, I can mold him, I can teach him to be the boyfriend I really need. But of course I was wrong.”
She quickly downed the other half of her wine and then she stared at the floor for a second.
“So yes, I’m going to have to break up with him,” she said softly, more to herself than to me. Then she looked at me and I saw tears well up in her eyes.
“Come here,” I said, reaching out my arm. She nestled herself against my chest and put her head on my shoulder so I could hold her for a little while.
“Can I stay here tonight?” she asked softly after a few minutes. “I really don’t want to go back home and break up with him at this time of night.”
“Sure,” I said and kissed her hair. “You can have my bed, I’ll sleep on the couch.”
She remained silent for a few seconds and then she softly said: “Thanks sweetie.”
We stayed up really late that night. Patty drank quite a bit of wine and I had a beer or two. I let her do most of the talking and she talked mostly about her exes, about their relationships, their fights and her grievance of men always wanting to have sex.
And as I listened to her, my love for her grew and grew. And I’ll try to explain why.
You see, over the years, during all the long conversations we’ve had, it had become very clear to me that Patty really thought that all men just wanted to have sex. Of course a lot of women think this, and it is often true unfortunately, but to Patty it was way more serious that he usual game of predator and prey that often exists between men and women. To her, she was prey, surrounded by millions of dangerous men that just wanted to fuck her, use and abuse her and then discard her. And she was not putting up with it. She was never going to let that happen. She was not going to be a victim of the male urges. She was taking control.
In the talks we’ve had about her boyfriends, I often noticed she used sex as a tool, or as a weapon maybe. If her boyfriend behaved the way she wanted him to behave she let him have sex with her, and if not she denied him. And if he kept pushing, she would hate him. Although I knew she enjoyed sex, to her it seemed to be a leash she could use to control a man. It was exactly this part of Patty that always made me think she would make a good Domme. This was why I showed her my chastity cage on that memorable day on which our friendship started to evolve. I knew she’d love that. She was trying to control men by their cocks long before she knew about the existence of chastity cages.
With Ben she had always been really soft compared to her previous boyfriends. But during this night, I realized she felt as if she had failed to control him by using sex as a reward system, and that hurt more than losing Ben. That really scared her, although she would never admit it.
So, during that night, my love for her grew and grew as she was talking about the men in her life. I saw the scared little girl, hidden deep down inside her, and I felt genuine love for that girl. I saw the young woman that felt lonely because her relationships were failing all the time and I felt compassion for that young woman. I saw the woman that was hopelessly disappointed in men and I comforted her.
And most importantly, I saw the conflicted, confused woman in her that used sex as a weapon, because to her, men’s cocks where weapons, not tools of love. And I felt really sorry for her. I felt sorry for her fears, for her loneliness and frustration. What she usually did wasn’t pretty maybe, but I understood she couldn’t help herself and I respected her need for control. So I felt love and respect for that scared, hurting woman, for whom it was really hard to allow herself to be genuinely loved by a man.
I just loved her. I would gladly let her lock my cock and guard the keys, not just because I thought it was hot, which I did, but because, during this night, I had come to understand she needed me to lock it away so she could feel safe and at ease. She needed my submission, not to control me, but to be able to let go of all the fear and simply feel safe. And I gladly did that for her. Because, during this night, I could clearly see her for who she really was.
So, as she talked, I just listened to her. And I loved her.
“I’ll have to use your toothbrush,” Patty said when she got ready for bed very late that night. “I didn’t bring anything. And do you have pj’s or something I could wear?”
“That’s alright,” I said. “And no, I don’t have pj’s. You could wear one of my sweatpants?”
“Nah, it’s too warm for those,” she said.
As she used my toothbrush to brush her teeth, I made my bedroom ready for her by turning on some lights and closing the curtains. Then I put a pillow and a thin blanket on the couch for myself. I guessed I would be wearing sweatpants tonight.
Patty went into my bedroom saying: “Night sweetie.” Then she closed the door.
I got as comfortable as I could on the couch. I’d slept on it before, but since it’s a bit too short for my body it usually wasn’t a good night sleep. But I didn’t mind, I would gladly suffer a night on the couch so she could have some privacy. I was just happy she was safe in my bed.
It couldn’t sleep though. I was laying there, tossing and turning. I couldn’t find a comfortable position to lay in and it was just a little bit to warm.
After about an hour of laying awake, I heard Patty come out of the bedroom.
“Are you sleeping?” she whispered very softly from the entrance to the living room.
“No,” I said.
“I’m lonely,” she said. “Would you mind sleeping in the bed with me? No pervy stuff, just lie with me?”
“Sure,” I said, glad to be able to get off the couch and the opportunity to be with her.
When I got up and walked towards her, I saw her standing in the dark doorway, wearing nothing but a T-shirt and probably panties beneath it. The homey look made her look very sexy to me.
When I was about to get into the bed, she said: “Strip first, I don’t want you to sweat all night with those thick clothes on.”
I took my clothes off in the dark room and laid down on my back. I felt the bed move a little as she got in. She scooted my way, put her head on my chest and wrapped a naked leg around mine. I could feel her the softness of her groin press onto my thigh. She put her hand on my heart and gently caressed my skin. I could feel the warmth of her body, the softness of her skin against mine and I could smell her scent. It turned me on for a minute, making my cock grow in its cage. I just wrapped my arm around her and let her snuggle against me, ignoring my arousal. Now was not the time to play and even if it was, it was not up to me, it was up to her. So I let my chastity cage do its job as I held her.
It took a long time before I fell asleep, but I didn’t mind. Patty slept within minutes though. I wanted to stay awake, enjoying the warm and intimate feel of her soft body against mine. I wanted to keep guard and make her feel safe.
We woke up briefly when my alarm went off and we both called in sick at work before going back to sleep. She didn’t cuddle me this time, she just needed to sleep and so did I.
When I woke up, around noon, she was up already, drinking tea on the couch. I had put on some clothes before going to the living room, and Patty was fully dressed, including her shoes. She looked to be ready to go.
“Hey sweetie,” she said. “The water is still warm if you want tea.”
I got myself a mug and sat next to her.
“I have to go home in a few minutes,” she said. “I don’t want to, but I have to. I have to go back and break up with him.”
“Of course,” I said. “I’ll be here if you need me.”
“Thanks. I’ll be fine I guess, I just want to get it over with.”
“How are you going to handle things, with the two of you living together?” I wondered.
“I guess he’ll go back to his parents. Maybe right away, I don’t know. We’ll see. I just hope it’s not going to turn into a big fight or something.”
She was gone for about an hour before she rang the doorbell again.
“Are you okay?” I asked as soon as she stepped inside.
“Yes, I am,” she said. She actually smiled a little. “I’m relieved I guess. I’m alright. I hated doing this though.” She walked into the living room and dropped herself on the couch. “I’m actually glad it’s over. I know I should feel sad for losing him, but I really don’t.”
“How did he take it?” I asked. I felt sorry for Ben. He was a nice guy and Patty was his first love. The first hurts the most, they say. And if I imagined myself in his shoes, I would go insane if I lost Patty.
“He was hurting,” she said and then she sighed. “He agreed we should split up. He even said that he was really thinking of breaking up with me yesterday, so in a way we both agreed to go our separate ways. But it hurt him non the less.”
“Was he angry?”
“Yes, a little,” she said. She looked a little sad. “He was mostly angry for me playing with you. He always said he was fine with it, but as it turns out he wasn’t really.”
“Is he still in your house?”
“Yes, he’s packing. His parents will come get him and his things, tonight probably.” She rubbed her face with her hands. Then she said: “What’s wrong with me Conrad?”
“What do you mean?” I asked. I thought it was clear the relationship just didn’t work out, it didn’t seem to me that meant there was something wrong with her.
“Why do I always do this?” she asked. There was some despair in her voice. “I meet a hot guy, hook up way too fast, and then I’m just not happy with who he is. I get sick of him wanting to have sex all the time. And I always try to change him and when that doesn’t work, I want to hurt him!! So, what’s wrong with me?”
“I don’t see anything wrong with you,” I said. That wasn’t fully truthful maybe, I saw her pattern of course, but that she had her personal issues with love and sex, like most people, didn’t mean something was wrong with her.
“Of course there’s something wrong with me!” she said as she got up and started pacing the room. She was clearly agitated, but it didn’t feel like she was agitated with me. “I always do this. I thought I could change Ben. That I could mold him or train him even. Luckily for him I ended it before I really started hurting him. But I wanted to hurt him. Why do I want to hurt the men in my life?”
I just looked at her. I had no answer there.
“And to make things worse, I’m even doing it to you!” she said, looking at me. “I love controlling you, it gets me off. I even like hurting your body and I don’t understand why! I really shouldn’t like it, but I do. You have done absolutely nothing wrong to me, and still I want to hurt you. You don’t deserve to be hurt, you are a really sweet, good guy.” She started pacing again. “It’s not normal to want to hurt someone you love, right? So why do I want to? Why am I such a horrible bitch that wants to hurt the men in her life?! What the fuck is wrong with me?!?”
Tears of despair and frustration ran down her cheeks while she held her temples with her fingertips.
I just stared at her. I had no idea what to say.
She took a deep breath and sat down next to me on the couch.
“I’m sorry, I’m just feeling really guilty about Ben and I hate myself right now,” she said, looking very sad. “I really feel like a horrible person. I must be a bitch for wanting to change Ben and kicking him out when he didn’t comply. And there must be something seriously wrong with me for getting joy out of controlling you.”
I smiled at her before saying sternly: “Hey, that is my best friend you’re talking about. I know she tried her absolute best and I was there to witness it. So if you don’t stop talking about her like that, I’ll have to kick your ass.”
Patty looked at me for a second and then she laughed. She hugged me and said: “You’re such a good friend.” Then she leaned against me and put her head against my shoulder.
“I don’t think there is something wrong with you Patty,” I said as I stroked her hair to comfort her. “Or that there is something wrong with me for that matter. All I know for sure is I like it when you control me or even hurt me, as long as it’s only physical and not too bad, and I know you seem to like it too. So maybe there is something wrong with us in a way, but it doesn’t feel wrong to me. It feels right.”
She let that sink in for a second before she said: “Yeah, when we play it does feel right.” She sighed. “But with me and Ben it’s different. I really feel like I failed. I wanted him to change too much. I wanted to control him and I couldn’t stand it that he just wouldn’t listen. I wanted to hurt him for not listening. But that’s all me, he really is a nice guy and he’s just young and I made him pay the price for my discontent. I feel really guilty about that. I still feel like a horrible person.”
“Well, maybe you should be spanked so you can let it go,” I joked.
She chuckled. And then, a few seconds later, she sat up and looked at me. “That’s maybe not such a bad idea,” she said.
“What?” I said. “Patty, I was joking.” I smiled at her.
“I know, but what if there is some truth in the joke?”
I looked at her puzzled.
“What if I just accept that I’ve been a bad girl, get punished, knowing I really deserve it, and then be over with it? It could work, right? What do you think? You’re usually the one getting spanked.”
“I’m not sure it works that way,” I said, after thinking about it for a second. “But honestly I don’t know. You’ve never spanked me to punish me, really. So I don’t know.”
She smiled a really warm smile at me for a moment. “No, you are always good to me,” she said. Then she chuckled, wrinkled her nose and joked: “You never do anything wrong, it’s really annoying.”
We both laughed.
She seemed to think some more and then she said: “I want to try.”
“What? You want me to actually spank you?”
“Yes,” she said, dead serious. “I want to know what it feels like and I want to know if it will help me stop feeling guilty and horrible and all.”
I thought about doing it and it just seemed weird. My cock loved the idea though, since the thought of spanking Patty woke it right up.
“I don’t know if I could hurt you,” I said.
“Let’s find out,” she said. “I could order you to do it and spank you if you refuse. So, someone is getting spanked either way. It might as well be me for a change. And I know you would like to, you’ve been wanting to touch my butt for years, you little pervert.” She chuckled.
I thought about it some more and it still seemed wrong. But then I thought: we have been all about experimentation lately, so why not?
“Alright, I’ll do it if you really want me to do it. It still feels wrong somehow, but let’s try it.”
She smiled at me and then she got up. Suddenly she seemed a little nervous, or shy maybe. She walked to my right side and I moved to the middle of the couch, to give her room to lay down on my knees.
She seemed to hesitate for a second, or maybe she was just figuring out how to go about doing this.
“I’m not taking my panties off,” she said defensively. Then she undid her jeans and lowered it to halfway her thighs. She got on her knees on the seat next to me, bent over me and positioned herself over my knees, just like I had done myself the day before. It felt a little awkward though, probably for the both of us.
I watched her upturned, accessible butt as she positioned her hips over my right leg and gently laid down. She wore a black hipster, exposing only the lower half of her buttocks, but what I saw was pure beauty. She had an amazingly tight ass. Her skin was pale and very smooth. I swallowed as I felt my cock get hard immediately by the sight of her butt, her proximity and the weight of her lovely hips on my lap. My eyes traced her naked legs to the lowered jeans, rumbled up half way down her thighs. It looked really sexy.
“And no drooling all over my ass, you little pervert,” she said. “And also, no playing with my butt. Just spank it, alright?”
“Yes Patty,” I said submissively. I put my left hand on her back and laid my right hand on her right ass cheek to feel the spot I was going to hit. The flesh of her buttock felt very soft to my hand. Then I quickly raised my hand and spanked her butt cheek. It made a loud slap and I felt the palm of my hand tingle a little. I had hit her pretty hard. If she wanted to get spanked, she would be spanked properly I thought.
“Oouuch!,” she said in complete surprise. Then she took a deep breath. “That actually hurts.”
“I know,” I said, chuckling, and then I quickly hit the other ass cheek. I watched her butt jiggle a little as my hand hit it. It was an incredibly sexy sight.
She grunted softly.
“Are you alright?” I asked. The spots I hit seemed to be a little redder than before already.
“Yes,” she said. “Go on, continue.”
I felt her body brace as she prepared herself for a spanking, now knowing the feel of a hand hitting her sensitive butt. Then I raised my hand and hit her right cheek again, then immediately I spanked the left. Then right again, then left. And again. And again.
Patty seemed to be a lot more vocal than I was. Or maybe I just wasn’t really aware of the sounds I made when I got spanked. She didn’t scream or anything, I just could hear her grunt and react to the slaps on her pretty butt. And I could feel her react too, her body on my lap moved as muscles contracted and relaxed. It felt sexy. It turned me on and at the same time it still felt wrong. I didn’t want to hurt her, but she wanted me to, so I did it.
I kept spanking her for a little while, trying to keep an even pace. I hated hurting her, but I loved the feel of my hand landing on that soft bubble butt again and again and I loved seeing it jiggle a little on each slap. Her skin turned red pretty quickly.
I paused spanking her for a second to ask if she was alright again. She just said: “Yes, keep going, I’ll tell you when to stop if it’s too much. Go on, I deserve it.”
So, I resumed spanked her. I now slapped each cheek twice, but I didn’t spank her on her ass crack. I didn’t want to touch her too close to her genital region, since I knew she wouldn’t want that. So I spanked her ass cheeks as she squirmed around on my lap. Her body moving about, her moans, which started to turn into muffled cries of agony, her reddening ass, the feel of my hand slapping her soft flesh, the sounds of the spanks, it all turned me on. My cock was throbbing in it’s cage and I was glad I was wearing pants so she wouldn’t notice. But it still felt wrong, unnatural. I was hurting Patty.
She was holding her breath every now and then. Her legs sometimes came up in some kind of defensive reaction. When that happened I paused for a second until she lowered them again. My hand was burning, but probably not as much as her ass was. Her pretty cheeks glowed red as a lobster. It looked really hot.
Suddenly I felt to me as if she’d had enough, so I stopped. It took a few seconds before she relaxed her body. She was panting on my lap.
“That was enough I think,” I said to her. “You’ve taken your punishment, so stop worrying about being a bad girl. You’ve paid your dues. You’ve made up for any wrongs you may have done.”
She nodded and stayed still for a few seconds, recomposing herself I assumed, still breathing fast. Then she got up and climbed off my lap. Her eyes were all watery. Had she been crying as I spanked her?
She stood up and silently wiped her cheeks. Then she slowly and very carefully pulled her pants up over her red hot ass and buttoned it shut.
“Thank you for doing that,” she said softly. Her voice was a little misty. She rubbed her butt as she slowly walked to my left, to the spot on the couch she usually sat. “That actually hurts pretty bad.”
“Are you okay?” I asked her sincerely.
“Yes, I think so,” she said as she sat down carefully.
I looked at her for a second, gaging her emotional state, waiting patiently for her to process what she just experienced.
“Yes, I’m alright,” she said after a few seconds, determined.
I knew what she needed. “Come here for a second sweetie, you need some love,” I said as I repositioned myself so she could lie in my arms. She accepted it silently and put her body against my chest. I wrapped my arms around her and held her for however long it would take her to come down from that experience. I just stroked her hair, telling her in my mind, without words, that she deserved to be loved.
We just sat there for a while. Me holding my best friend, who was a Domme that hated herself at the moment, and me being Patty’s Perv who had done what was asked of him and who loved his Domme very much.
“Do you need anything?” I softly asked after a few minutes.
She sat up. “Tea would be great,” she said. She looked much better now.
“Tea coming up,” I said and headed to the kitchen.
When I got back with her tea, she seemed to have her normal spice back.
“How are you feeling?” I asked her as I handed her a mug of hot tea.
“Better actually,” she said. She looked sincere. “I do feel as if it gave me some form of closure to the feelings I had before. Although I am wondering if I hurt you as much when I spank you?”
“Maybe. But I don’t think you can compare our experiences. I love it when you spank me. It turns me on. I’m a sub and you’re a Domme. So don’t compare it, just accept that it’s different for us.”
She let that sink in for a few seconds. “Thanks,” she said. “That actually helps.” She paused for a few seconds. “How was it for you to spank me?”
“I don’t know. It feels wrong for me to hurt you, while it feels right if you hurt me. Still, it wasn’t bad. I’d do it again if you ever asked me to.” I grinned at her playfully as I added: “And I got to touch your ass, so it was awesome.”
She chuckled with genuine joy in her eyes. “Don’t get used to it, you little pervert.” Then she looked more serious. “You know, you are the only guy in the world I would ever allow to spank me.”
I let that sink in. She actually touched me by saying that. So I said: “Thank you. I feel genuinely honored.” I paused for a few seconds before I asked her: “How was it for you to be spanked?”
“I don’t know. It was a little weird. I didn’t like it really, at least not the way you seem to like it. It doesn’t turn me on. But I do somehow understand why it could be sexy to some people to get spanked. And I actually do feel better. I needed it in some way I guess. This time at least, so don’t think you can just go around and spank me whenever you feel like it.”
I chuckled at the thought of a sub who thinks he can just spank his Domme. That would be silly.
She smiled lovingly at me. “Thank you for being here for me. I really appreciate that.”
“You’re always welcome,” I said.
Then she leaned against me and put her head on my shoulder again. “You know, breaking up sucks, but it’s good to have a friend like you.”
I just kissed her hair.
We sat there for a while. I realized how much I loved being us. Patty and Conrad, two best friends who were just trying to figure out themselves. Figuring out a way through life, love and sex.
We spent the rest of the day together, although not as clingy as before. Since we both didn’t feel like doing anything, we hung out, watching Netflix all day and we ordered food around dinner time.
Around 9 Ben texted Patty to tell her he had left the house. It was all hers again.
“You know, I think it will be good for me to have my own place for myself again,” she said. “Maybe I should stay single for a while, you know, just be on my own. No guys. I really need to figure myself out before I’m ready for a new relationship.”
“I think that makes sense,” I said. I tried not to think about my own feelings for her or how I would feel if she started a new relationship. Those feelings had no place in the current situation, I thought.
“I think I’ll go home later and sleep in my own bed, without a horny teenager next to me, poking my butt with his boner. That would be a great relief. Maybe I’ll even masturbate,” she said and she chuckled. “But not just yet. Let’s watch another episode, alright?”
“Sure, I’d love that.” I really didn’t want her to go, but I knew it would be better for the both of us.
Around 11 she headed back home, on her own. I had her promise to call me if she needed me.
It actually felt lonely to sleep alone in my own bed that night. I missed her. I wanted to take care of her. But as I reminded myself my Domme would call on me whenever she needed me, those feelings flowed away as I drifted to sleep.