Linda said, “The job is simple–just be yourself. Talk it out with your sister, explore your feelings…”
“Publicly?” Scott said. “On the Incest Network, or whatever it’s called? For weirdos who get off on this stuff? What the… why have I never heard of this before?”
“If you look for it, you can find it,” Jimmy said. “And our audience may be weirdos but they know how to keep a secret.”
“Think of them as supporters,” Linda said. “It’s a great community. They genuinely care about the lives of our incest stars.”
Scott shook his head in disbelief. “And if I just want my life to go back to normal?”
“You’ll be walking away from a lot of money,” Jimmy said.
“How much?” Scott said.
“Oh, easily six figures in your first year.”
“Really?”
Linda said, “But don’t do it for the money. This will be a profound and life-changing experience.”
“Yes, of course,” Jimmy said dismissively. “But you can’t ignore the money. Incest is a billion dollar industry. This is a huge opportunity. And honestly, a normal life? Was your life ever normal? You have an incredibly hot sister.”
“Well…” Scott said, squirming in his seat.
“Like, crazy hot,” Jimmy said. “You’re not blind. I’m sure you’ve had to suppress a few thoughts about your sexy sister over the years, am I right? Well, now you have to face those thoughts head on. It’s really not so bad, ask anybody. You’ll be fine.”
Linda said, “From what I understand, you two have a great relationship already. That doesn’t have to change! Once you’re past this initial shock you’ll see that things can only get better, no matter what.”
Scott sighed and rubbed his temples. He looked at Dobson. “And why is the government involved in this?”
“To keep an eye on you all,” Dobson said. “To make sure this doesn’t get out of hand, and help maintain the secrecy. Also, to study this phenomenon. We understand so little about incest. People assume it’s a terrible thing, and it can be, and yet, when clear-eyed, consenting adults enter these relationships, something extraordinary happens. By all accounts, incest is one of the most emotionally and sexually satisfying experiences you can have. It’s truly amazing how happy these people are.”
“It’s true,” Linda said. “All of our clients are so, so happy.”
“Annoyingly so,” Jimmy said. “It’s like, not everybody is lucky enough to have hot family members, you know? But yeah, they’re having a great time. Our audience can see that something special is happening. It’s pretty crazy. No wonder all these incest cults have been popping up lately.”
“Incest cults?” Scott said.
“Don’t worry, they’re under control,” Dobson said. “My point is–if you want to give incest a try, you’ll have plenty of support, and you’re not going to be disappointed.”
Scott was silent for some time, staring into the distance while the others patiently waited. “Well,” he finally said, “I guess I have to talk to her about this sometime. Might as well generate some content out of it too.”
“Excellent,” Linda said, handing him her business card. “Drop by my office this afternoon, you can take a look at the contract, and we can schedule a podcast session. Your sister is going to be so excited.”
Jimmy shook Scott’s hand and said, “You’re making the right choice. We look forward to working with you.”
“This is your provisional license to incest,” Agent Dobson said as he gave Scott a laminated card. “I’ll be checking in occasionally to see that your relationship with your sister meets our guidelines, but I’m not anticipating any problems.”
“Well, we’ll leave you to finish your lunch,” Linda said, getting up. “It was so nice to meet you!”
“Congratulations, and good luck,” Dobson said, then stood up and left.
Jimmy, walking away with Linda, said, “Didn’t I tell you this one would be easy?”
Scott sat alone at the table, his head in his hands. “Unbelievable,” he muttered, then let out a long breath. “Maybe I should call Mom?”