Pranked by bdsmbill

Cynthia said she would be in late tomorrow, but she would have the townhome furnished by tomorrow evening. I got a pretty good night’s sleep, surprisingly, and when Macy arrived in the morning (with Starbucks coffee) we went right to the DMV to get the car transferred. I gave her some cash to cover the higher insurance until I got her pay raise handled. Since I got promoted, both Cynthia and Macy would also get substantial raises. I later learned that Cynthia had handpicked Macy from the available secretaries. Macy said the interview was brutal.

When I arrived at my new townhome that evening, I discovered it didn’t just have furniture. There were linens in the linen closet, towels hanging in the bathrooms, all the kitchen equipment I needed, and someone had been to the grocery story. After opening and heating a can of chili, I grabbed a beer from the fridge and sat down in my new recliner. It was Thursday, so there was football on my new TV, and the Wi-Fi was fast. I would have to get Cynthia a bonus.

The next day, while Mary was at work, my brother went by my old house and picked up my clothes and other personal items. He even got my shampoo and stuff, and everything from my old home office. He dropped it all off at my new abode. He also said there was an envelope addressed to me on the kitchen table at my old house. He left it there. Now that I had my clothes, I was pretty well set. I needed some clean clothes. I had been wearing the ones I had on when my life blew up. While I was in the hospital, Cynthia had gotten the suit cleaned and bought me some socks, boxers, and a couple dress shirts, so I wasn’t completely gross, but still.

For the next few weeks, things went pretty smoothly. We filled three of the recently opened management positions from within, and Ben was working through a headhunter for the other two. I got both Macy and Cynthia big salary increases and a nice bonus for all the help they had given me recently. The company attorneys weren’t really family law lawyers, but they drew up a pretty standard set of divorce papers and had them served on Mary. Two weeks later there had been no reply.

Meanwhile, three of the assholes took plea deals for a two years inside and two years probation, while the main instigators, Chett and Chuck, each got three years inside with two years probation. They would be out after about 2/3 of the sentence, but all now had felony convictions on their records.

Then, one Tuesday morning, things got interesting. The intercom lit up and Macy said, “There is a Mr. Hamilton here to see you. He doesn’t have an appointment.” I told her to send him in.

When Jeff came in, I invited him to sit down. He sat in a chair in front of my desk. Then he looked pointedly at Cynthia, who was seated on my sofa. I said, “This is my PA, and I definitely want a witness for this meeting. Also, everything in this office is recorded on video and audio. Be aware that if you are here to pass along a message from my soon to be ex-wife, that would violate her restraining order, and I will have her arrested. I hope she thinks your dick was worth it. OK, your turn.”

Jeff paused a minute before starting. “That’s fair. I am just here to talk about me for a moment, and I am not bearing any messages. You know I have been chasing the woman on the restraining order for a while, without success. My lack of success continues, although in my own defense, I quit trying after an incident a few weeks ago. I realized then that I had no chance. I know you were told that I had sex with the woman on the restraining order, but it wasn’t true. That woman was upset with you and wanted to make you suffer like she was. We did go to a motel and get a room, in case you had someone watching her or checked the credit card charges. Then we sat in different chairs and played on our phones for a while, checked out, and left. Nothing else happened there, and I thought you should know. Ask the woman on the restraining order if you don’t believe me.”

“That was an interesting story, Jeff. Thank you for coming by. I will admit that it took some courage for you to do that. Luckily I am not a violent man. Have you ever heard the saying, ‘one lies and the other one swears to it’?”

Jeff stood up. “Well, I tried. Thank you for hearing me out and not beating the crap out of me. I had already decided that if you had I was going to go somewhere and report a mugging. You really should talk to her. She’s a mess.” He turned and walked out.

After a couple minutes of silence, Cynthia said, “That was interesting.” We didn’t say any more about it. She knew I would not discuss anything relating to Mary.

The rest of the week was pretty quiet at work. I got home late on Friday and went right to bed. On Saturday I played a round of golf and swam for a while. Then I went home, ate a chicken I bought at Costco, watched some TV, and crashed for the night. Sunday morning I decided to make bacon and eggs for breakfast. I had slept in, so it was nearly 10am before I had everything either put away or in the dishwasher. Then the doorbell rang.

I looked through the little eye thing. It was Cynthia and Macy, along with Cynthia’s husband and a woman I didn’t know, so I opened the door and let them in. “Hey Doc, it’s been a while. How are you doing?”

We shook hands and he said, “I think I’ve been better than you. How’s the heart?”

“Broken.” I turned to the unknown woman and held out my hand. “I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Tom.”

She shook my hand and said, “I’m Helen, Macy’s wife. I have heard a lot about you.”

I smiled at Macy and said, “Well, I have heard nothing about you.” Macy turned red.

“I’m sorry Tom. I didn’t know if you knew I was a lesbian.”

“OK, I didn’t know, and now that I do, I don’t care. If you guys are married, are you on her health insurance?”

Macy said, “No, they wouldn’t let us.”

“OK, remind me Monday and I’ll fix it. Now, you guys don’t usually bring your SOs with you. What’s different about today?”

Cynthia took this one. “Well, we are planning to have a barbecue. We have coolers in the cars with steaks and stuff, and a small grill. We brought our SOs to join the fun. Also, Macy and I are possibly about to be fired from the greatest jobs with the best boss in the world. In that case, these guys are here for emotional support.”

“So, like an emotional support animal. Couldn’t you get an emotional support chicken like everyone else? You may as well get the food, because if I fire you guys I’ll need to get more sleeping pills.”

It was a very bad joke. The only thing that saved me was the doorbell. Macy opened the door, and Mary walked in. She was carrying Brucie. The room started spinning, and Doc caught me before I fell. He helped me to the sofa. Mary put Brucie down and he ran over, jumped on my lap, and started licking my face. Doc was taking my pulse and telling me to take slow, deep breaths.

When I seemed to be past the danger of passing out, Mary came over near the sofa, knelt, and put her head on the floor. Her hands were behind her back. I said, “You look ridiculous. Get up.” She stood up, but didn’t move away.

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