I heard, “Well, I guess this is it. I don’t know how you found out about the trip. I’m sorry we’ve gotten to such a bad place in our marriage that you would rather leave me than go on a romantic trip. But you’re right. I will have to do the changing without you. I’ll do what you said and go on the trip alone. I won’t have much fun, but I suppose I’ll have to get used to that. Know that I will always love you. I’m sorry I wasn’t a better husband, and I wish you the best in whatever comes your way.”
I sat frozen for a good ten minutes before Natalie came back. I looked up at her and asked, “Do you know where he’s staying? I’ve got to go there and explain!”
“Beth, you can’t. He has your passport. I made sure I packed everything you needed…” She stopped suddenly. “Beth, did Alex use condoms?”
“No, of course not. I’m on the…” I gasped.
“Beth, I packed your birth control pills in your carry-on. I noticed that you were twelve days into your month and warned him to make sure you took your pills every twenty-four hours, despite the time change. Else you might be coming back with an extra souvenir. Beth, you’ve missed four days! You could be pregnant right now!”
“Oh my God! I just completely zoned out for the whole weekend. I tried to put everything behind me, and I just didn’t think. I should take a morning-after pill, just in case.”
“It’s probably a good idea, but it may be too late by now. But are you even sure you want to? You seem to be ready to move in with this ‘Alex.’ I’m sorry if I’m being a little snarky here, but I just can’t get over how you just jumped into a stranger’s arms like that. I’m not sure if Bill will find it any easier.”
“I can’t tell him! It’s bad enough I ruined the whole trip…”
“Beth, by now the whole office knows that you had a fight with Bill and that you spent the weekend with a guy who drives a convertible. He has friends here. There are probably emails in his inbox about it already. He won’t have read them yet, as he didn’t take his laptop with him. Well, I suppose he could check his email at the hotel business center. Actually, that’s an idea. He probably has his phone off, as he doesn’t want to incur roaming charges. Send him a long email explaining everything and leave a message with the hotel telling him to check it.”
“Natalie, I think that’s a good idea. Now, get back to work. I’ll send it from here and then I’ll get a ride home. I may as well take the rest of the week off, as planned, since I probably won’t be getting much done here anyway. I know it didn’t work out but thank you for trying.”
I spent the next hour writing draft after draft, trying to explain what happened. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t help coming across as a total bitch and a complete slut. Finally, I gave up. I decided to just send a plea that he will give me a chance to explain. I wrote:
Subject: I’M SORRY!!!!
Honey, I’m so sorry. It was all a big misunderstanding! Sally saw you walk into our house with Natalie. She told me you must be having an affair. I thought there must be some other explanation, but when I asked you about your lunch, you lied to me, and I became convinced that she was right. When you started talking about how we needed to make changes, I felt sure you were leaving me! I just couldn’t take it. I know I overreacted, but I love you so much! I just couldn’t stay there. I ran away, bumped into some random guy and begged him to take me home. I didn’t know the truth until I came to work this morning and Natalie filled me in.
I admit that I behaved very badly. Please, please forgive me. At least give me a chance to explain. Please enjoy the rest of your trip. I will always regret not being there with you. Come home and let me make it up to you. I love you!
I sent it out, then got his itinerary from Natalie. I saw that he was on a tour of Versailles today. I called his hotel, and as I expected, he wasn’t in. I left him a message, asking him to check his email.
I sat at my desk and cried for a bit, thinking about how much I had hurt Bill after all the trouble and expense he went through. Inexplicably, my thoughts kept drifting back to my time with Alex. God, I’m a mess!
Then Natalie came in. “I’m sorry, Beth, but if I’m covering for you this week, I’ll need some things from your office. Why don’t you go home? You’ll feel more comfortable there. Do you want me to drive you?”
I pulled myself together. “No, Natalie, I’ve taken up enough of your time. Sure, use my office. I’ll go home now. Don’t worry about me. And, again, thank you. You’ve been a very good friend.”
I could feel everybody’s eyes on me as I walked out of the building. I realized my car was still at home, so I just kept walking until I was out of sight of the building. Finally, I saw a diner and walked in and ordered a cup of coffee. My phone rang, and I jumped to pick it up, but I saw it was Alex. He said, “I just called to see if you were okay.”
“Oh, Alex, I made a terrible mistake!”
“Would you like to talk about it? I can take you to lunch.”
“No, that wouldn’t be a good idea. I mean… Oh, hell, I guess I could use a man’s opinion here. I’m at a diner. I’ll send you my location. Come pick me up.”
I settled the bill and waited outside. When he drove up, I rushed over and got in. I told him, “Just take me home. I need to go there anyway, and we can talk more privately. I’ll fix us something to eat.”
As we walked into my house, I saw Sally standing outside, looking at us. That gossip! Now the whole neighborhood was going to know about Alex. Oh well, there was probably no hiding him from Bill anyway.
I went to the kitchen to make sandwiches and saw that I had no bread. I realized that Natalie must have taken everything that would spoil while I was away. I turned and looked at the kitchen table where we shared so many meals together, in the house that was filled with so much love, and I suddenly broke down. Alex heard me crying, rushed in and gave me a hug. I hugged him back and sobbed into his shoulder.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I just can’t stay here. Everything reminds me of…”
Alex gently stroked my back and said, “Why don’t you come stay with me for a few days. I have to work today. You have your car, so come whenever you want. The code for my door is 5926. Just relax and we can talk when I get home tonight. Okay?”
“Okay,” I said. I went to the bedroom and saw that most of my casual clothes were missing but I found some T-shirts and shorts. Fortunately, Natalie had not packed all my underwear. I changed out of the clothes I had been wearing (or not wearing) all weekend. I threw what I could into a small bag and rushed out.
I drove to Alex’s house and relaxed. I took a long bath in his Jacuzzi, sat on his deck and watched the lake. Then I made one of my favorite dishes – a white lasagna, made with mushrooms, cheese and Bechamel sauce. I was just taking it out of the oven when Alex walked in. I ran over to him, gave him a quick kiss, and said, “Hi, honey. I’m glad you’re home!”
He laughed, and said, “Thank you! I feel like I’m in a 50’s sitcom.”