Another lesson I learned is to never run away from a problem. If, on Friday, I had just hugged Bill and said, “I’m not going to let you leave me,” the problem would have been resolved right away. If, on Tuesday morning, I had faced up to the problem of getting Bill back, instead of seeking comfort in Alex’s arms, that might have been enough to save my marriage.
Bill was not able to forgive me for my staying with Alex for the two days after I found out that he wasn’t cheating on me. He was right – I should not have continued to be intimate with Alex and do things that would bring me even closer to him. I guess I couldn’t hide my strong affection for Alex – hell, I was well on the way to falling in love with him! Bill just couldn’t ignore that.
Bill and Janet were married three months after our divorce became final. Her boys love him, as her ex had never been a good father. They now have an eight-year-old daughter, and Bill finally has the children that I had denied him.
My daughter is now nine years old. Yes, I got pregnant that weekend. I really can’t explain why I never took the morning-after pill. Maybe I was in denial, or maybe I just wanted to hedge my bets. I moved in with Alex after Bill and I split up, and Alex was able to sample the joys of married life. But his idea of connubial bliss did not extend to putting up with a pregnant wife or the thought of a squalling baby, and we only lasted six months. He gave me a lump sum in lieu of child support, and I was able to buy a small condo. Fortunately, my parents live nearby, and can take care of her while I’m working. I dated some, but never found anyone who could measure up to what I had. I think I was comparing everyone to the best features of Bill and Alex. Well, I’m still attractive and much wiser. I have hope.
Speaking of Alex, he had a live-in girlfriend for over a year. She was a beautiful twenty-five-year-old, and they were planning to get married. But his wandering eye put an end to that. He is forty-three now, still chasing women in their twenties. It’s funny how a little grey around the temples will make a man look even sexier. Go figure.
Life as a single mom is certainly not what I dreamed my future would be. But I had my dream and lost it. I allowed myself to develop strong feelings for another man, so when the time came, I could not fully commit to the one that I knew, deep down, was the right one. I got distracted by the glitter and, for just a couple of days, lost sight of the gold. That was all it took.
It seems that Kathy (from Chapter 4) made a big, if temporary, impact on Alex. You may also have recognized Janet Richards (the former Mrs. Janet Johnston) as the wronged wife from Chapter 5. I’m glad her story had a happy ending.
If you’ve read stories written more than 100 years ago, you will know that ‘making love’ did not mean ‘having sex’. It described any activity that could lead to romantic feelings, such as complimenting her looks, buying her gifts, flirting and dancing. I like that definition. After all, love doesn’t just happen – it has to be made, and not just by having sex. I feel that when a wife cooks a special dinner or dresses sexily for her husband, or when a husband buys his wife a gift or pays special attention to her wants, or when a couple cuddles in bed, they are making love. By that standard Alex and Beth were still making love, even after they stopped having sex.
Compared to my previous stories, Beth had the worst outcome, even though one could argue that her conduct was the “least bad” of the lot, except, perhaps, for Karen’s from Chapter 2, whose transgression only lasted for a few hours. But that’s life, isn’t it? Good or bad, we rarely get what we deserve (for which this author is grateful). Beth committed the sin of not appreciating what she had and working to keep it. It’s a sin that carried its own punishment when she lost it.