We had a good time that night and I was home by about 11. I jacked off in the shower thinking about that knockout. Sadly, I didn’t know her name, so I couldn’t search for her or fantasize about her well because it made it so distant. That isn’t to say I had trouble ejaculating. I coated the wall of my shower that night, and fell asleep still pissed at her blind date who surely emptied his cum into her in one way or another.
My phone rang at 7:30 AM. I was pissed because it was Friday and I had taken the day off expecting a hangover. I had a bit of one but not an intense one. I clicked on my cell,
“Yeah . . . . ?”
“Um, is this Marc?” The squeaky voice on the other end said. It was a scared voice, very soft and she sounded scared.
“Yes. Um, who is this?”
“This is Sarah.”
“Sarah who? I don’t know any Sarahs that I can think of.”
“I found your card in my purse. . . ”
“Oh, OH! Did we talk at the bar last night for a bit?” It sounded different but is there a chance it was . . . .. her?!?!
“I. . . I–I don’t know. I just woke up in a strange bed and I thought maybe it was yours.”
“Sorry, but I am in my bed, ha ha. Must be your blind date’s bed.”
“Wh-where is he?” Again she sounded very worried.
“I have no idea I don’t know who he is.”
“Oh, ok” Click. That was it, she was gone. I thought of calling back, but was pretty confused and decided to give it a bit.
Within minutes I think I fell asleep. It was almost 2 PM when I got another call.
“Hello?”
“Hi. Who is this.”
“It’s Elizabeth.”
“Ok, hi. Who is Elizabeth?”
“Didn’t we have a drink together last night? You told me I should be able to pick my guy, didn’t you.” Holy shit! It was her! So who was that Sarah girl? Oh well, who gives a fuck, she called me!!!
“Oh yeah, yeah that was me. Nice to hear from you. What’s up?”
“So were you the one I picked?”
“Um, no you had a blind date remember?”
“Oh, so you weren’t the guy I was with last night?”
“Um . . . no. I. . . I wish you had spent your time with me, but no . . .” She was really an odd duck.
“Oh, ok. I was wanting to find the guy so he could pay to dry clean my dress. There is cum all over it.” Holy shit, did she really just tell me that?
“Sooooo, you had a fun night I take it?”
“I don’t remember. I remember you and I talking and I thought you were nice. I had a time loss after that so not sure who I was with.”
“Well who set up the date, can’t you ask them?” Was this girl mentally challenged? Hard to believe with how she looked.
“I . .. . I think I met him on a message board, I don’t remember anymore. Um, I don’t have a car, could you give me a ride to the dry cleaners?”
This had to be the oddest conversation I had ever had. But it was worth it I figured. “Um sure, why not? What is your address my dear?”
A quick shower and protein shake later I was on my way. She didn’t live too far. The next town over but that was an arbitrary line. I found her address, a modest apartment, ground floor, adobe style. I knocked on the door and the stunner from the previous night opened the door. Only she wasn’t stunning today. Her hair was frizzy, she had on no makeup and was wearing sweat pants and a sweatshirt. Seemed a little hot for today.
“Hi Elizabeth, here I am! Do you have your dress?”
“My dress?”
“Yeah you asked me to give you a ride to the cleaners. You need to get that purple dress cleaned.”
“Oh, ok. I wondered who you were.” She turned and took a few steps into her apt. She looked around until I pointed out her dress hanging over the chair at the dinning table. She hadn’t been kidding, there was a huge white crusty stain all over one of the tit canopies. I couldn’t believe the guy wasted the cum on her dress, I would have found a way to leave it in her. Stomach, pussy, ass, anywhere to mark the conquest.
“Jesus,” She said, her voice much deeper than usual and sounding like a slight Bostonian accent. “Did you mess up my favorite dress?”
“Me? No. We just talked for a bit yesterday, we didn’t, um, we weren’t like intimate or anything.”
“Oh, hmmm, I wonder who she fooled around with . . . ”
She grabbed the dress and walked back towards the door where I was waiting. “Ok, let’s go.”
“Sure thing Elizabeth.” I said turning to walk back out to the parking lot.
“Call me Katie.” She said.
“Um, ok, Katie.” I opened the door for her and she was almost emotionless. Her face like stone, no enthusiasm. She seemed only interested in what I told her to do. Which made me think of suggesting naughty things, but at this point I was so confused by this woman, I was just going to take it one step at a time.
We went to the cleaners and I tried not to laugh at the face of the dry cleaner when she say the stain. Not much else it could be. I offered to pay for it and my sometimes stunner thanked me but with no enthusiasm.
As we were walking out I said, “So, Katie, would you like to get lunch out somewhere? I paid for the 1 hour cleaning. We could come back by and grab your dress after.”
“Ok.” Again she didn’t seem to care what happened. So I walked her across the street to a Mexican restaurant and got us a seat outside. I remembered her liking margaritas so I ordered a pair. She at first told me she didn’t like margaritas but I asked her to drink it so it didn’t get wasted.
They certainly were not weak drinks. There were 3 shots in each one and after the first her mood lightened and halfway through the second suddenly her eyes popped wide open and had life behind them again.
“M–Marc?”
“Yes?”
“Wow, what are you doing here?”
“You asked me to give you a ride to the cleaners for your dress.”
“Oh yeah! I forgot! Man you sure made a mess of it.”
“Um, no that wasn’t me Katie.”
“My name is Elizabeth!” She said, furrowing her brow at me.
So this is when it started to dawn on me that this wasn’t an act, or a bad memory drunk, or even a bi-polar lady. This woman was fucked in the head, royally. We had one more drink, and she was heavily intoxicated, but was now fun and flirty like she had been the last night.
She looked down at her clothes. “What the fuck am I wearing? Why did you let me leave the house like this?” She asked sounding annoyed.
“Um, Elizabeth, you dressed yourself, you didn’t want to dress nice. In fact until a half hour ago you were in a bad mood.”
“Huh, I don’t remember. So what are we doing? I need to go home and change.”
“Sure, let’s grab your purple dress, it should be cleaned by now.”
“Oh really! I love that dress!” She bounced out of the chair. And kept hanging on me as we walked back to the cleaners.
“Oh shit, where is my wallet?” She asked.
“Don’t worry, I took care of it.” I said.
“Oh thank you sweetie!” and she wrapped her arms around my neck, hugged me and gave me a big kiss on the lips, and I could taste some of the margarita mix on her.
We got into my car and headed back to her place. She went to the pantry and came back with a bottle of tequila and two shot glasses. She poured a pair and slammed hers.
“God I feel so ugly, she dresses so stupid!” and she disappeared.
I heard the bathroom door shut and within seconds I could hear the shower running. I could hear, Elizabeth, or Sarah, or Katie, or whoever singing in the shower at the top of her lungs. I sat at her table, wondering what the fuck was wrong with this woman and if I was gonna regret getting involved with her.