Alex slammed his hand down on the table excitedly. The Russian spewed out of him, and Jessica began to laugh. Andy smiled as he translated. “Yes! This is what we will do. All the DeGroat/Fedorov/Hughes children can be homeschooled by Uncle Alex and Aunt Sara. They will be nimble of mind, cultured, and excellent skaters. We will call it The Ralph Ivanovich School for Gifted Youngsters.” The table erupted in laughter.
After the laughter subsided, Christopher spoke, “You know, that is an amazing idea. I always thought it was kind of stupid for a kid to sit in school for 8 hours, anyway. Look let’s just call a spade a spade. Our children, if they’re healthy and all that, will be extremely gifted. Why bore them for the first 8 years of their education? I won’t speak for Ellen, but I’d gladly entrust our kids to the two of you. Hell yes,” he said excitedly. “We could remodel the east part of the Carlson house. I’ve only been in there once, but I bet we could make amazing use of that space. The old skylights are stunning. Great light to draw, or read, or do any number of things.”
Alex had calmed down enough to speak English, “Plus, if they are girls this will keep the boys away a bit longer,” he grinned.
Sara giggled, “Alex, if the boys look like their daddies, I’m way more worried about the girls. Those heifers are some bold little things. No way I’m turning my boys loose to be hunted by those conniving little bitches.” She said this in her ‘Sara from the block’ voice, wagging her finger as she did so. The whole table again erupted in laughter.
Jessica slipped into matriarch mode. “I can’t say too much, but knowing what the Court may hear in the next couple of years makes me really open to this idea. I want our kids to get an education, not be guineapigs for social engineering.”
She paused, “OK, we’ve got five years to think this over. If Sara and Alex can handle the basics, we can custom build the other pieces. We’ll put a rink in our back yard — I mean we were going to do that anyway. Then the rest of us make the time to hit our sweet spots: logic, rhetoric, music, etc. We’ll teach all three languages from the get-go. There are some classical and charter schools absolutely kicking ass in D.C. We’ll research those and see if we think we can pull this off.” She looked at Sara admiringly, “Thank you, Sara. That’s an amazing idea.”
“So, Droobie what are you going to be doing?” asked Ellen. “We just planned the next 15-20 years of Sara and Alex’s life. Are you going to teach at Groton?”
Jessica laughed again, and Sara giggled. “What did I miss?” asked Ellen.
Andy looked at Christopher. “Brother, have you had a money conversation with your betrothed?”
Christopher looked sheepishly at Ellen. She nodded to him. “Yes. She’s worth roughly $15 million dollars; and before you ask, the Judge already shot down a pre-nup.”
Andy grinned madly. “Well, my little sister lied to you. She’s worth $148 million dollars.”
“The hell you say?” muttered Ellen more loudly than she intended.
They all laughed out loud.
“The Wonder Twins,” interjected Jessica. Andy nodded at her to continue. “Helen and Jane have been husbanding the family money. They’re total savants when it comes to finance. Lady Sumner-White, otherwise known as their mother, taught them what she knew, and they’ve built a $500 million dollar fortune. They want Andy to manage the company eventually.”
Ellen and Christopher looked at him dumbfounded.
“They’re making a $100 million donation to Colton. I suspect there will be a school of diplomacy, or something like that, with Uncle Hank as the founding dean. That means the remaining $400 million will get divided three ways. Plus, the cabin and whatever else we don’t know about,” explained Andy.
Ellen turned white as a ghost.
“Ells, it’s OK. We had no idea, either. They made a conscious decision not to tell us. They wanted us to pursue our callings in life, and not just be bratty rich kids. Sara and I have talked, and we want to raise our kids the same way. They won’t be rich assholes, not on our watch. That’s another reason I like the homeschool idea. Christopher is right; our kids will stick out like a sore thumb in a public school, and at most private schools, for that matter. This way, it’s just their cousins, who kick ass as much as they do. They’ll think it’s normal to eat lightning and crap thunder. Plus, they’ll have people who love them calling them on their bullshit.”
“Eden called your family success ninjas,” added Sara. “I’ve found that to be helpful. When Ellen was telling us about your family at The Lobster Shack, Eden and I about had kittens. We had no idea. Andy said nothing about it when we met him. He was just this beautiful, thoughtful man who drove a truck and carried a small armory with him,” she giggled. “He said nothing about being a decorated Force Recon sniper, or who Alex was — nada. I wanted to kiss him, and kick his ass when I found out. Then, I got introduced to the Vice President — who, oh yeah — just happens to be your great uncle,” she paused. “Ellen, you were there. You kept apologizing to us. I appreciated it at the time, but I don’t want my kid’s success to be a source of embarrassment. If they kick ass, the world can just damn deal with it.”
“Preach sister,” said Christopher. “I’ve felt overwhelmed, and I’ve known the family for a decade. I mean Alex wins a Stanley Cup, is a first-ballot Hall of Famer, and Andy wins the Navy Cross — and I’m just an architect? That’s some serious Kung Fu.”
“You sell yourself short, brother,” said Alex. “The music last night was breathtaking. To think that the three of you just sit down and make such music is truly stunning. My wife is the wisest and funniest woman I know. If our kids are half the person their mother is, they will be remarkable human beings.” He looked at Jessica lovingly. She took his hand and kissed it.
“OK, we either need to go look at furniture, or I’m gonna take Andy home and make a baby right now,” said Sara decisively. “I’m already counting backwards nine months from when we graduate,” she grinned.
Ellen spoke next, “I agree with Sara. It is getting hot in here,” she grinned. “However, I think we’re on to something here. It’s also why I can’t take the job with Donna.” She looked at Christopher, “Sweetie, you went along with being thought of as something you weren’t because people didn’t know what to do with your giftedness. I don’t want our kids — boys or girls — to go through that. Let’s say we have a girl, and she’s an amazing hockey player. Do you want people judging her sexual preference because she’s a great athlete? ‘Oh, she must be a lesbian. She’s a great hockey player.’ I call bullshit. People at Colton thought Eden and Sara were lesbians because they’re awesome, and they’re both phenomenal athletes.”
“Alex and Sara are right,” she continued. “Our kids will absolutely kick ass. We owe it to them to put them in an environment to encourage that. We’re in. Plus, they will look amazing in the school uniforms I design for the Ralph Ivanovich School,” she grinned madly, and then leaned across the table to kiss her fiancé passionately. “Those conniving little heifers will be climbing the walls to try to get at our boys,” she laughed.