“That’s what I’m here for,” Jen said before pausing to allow the blender to run. She waited for Ashley to finish liquefying her breakfast before continuing. “I’m here to talk about anything with you–anything at all. I’m your mother. That’s my job.”
Ashley carried her smoothie over to the kitchen table and sat in her father’s usual seat, directly across from Jen. “I know, but…it’s…I don’t know…”
“Baby, you can tell me anything. I’ve been around the block a time or two. I can help.”
The eighteen-year-old took a sip of her drink before looking at her mother. “Okay, but you can’t say a word to anyone.”
“Who am I going to tell?”
Ashley took a deep breath before admitting to her less-than-stellar situation. “Mike is just so…I don’t know…passive.”
“Passive?”
“Yeah, passive,” Ashley went on. “He never initiates anything.”
“Like how?”
Ashley took another deep breath. It felt good to discuss her burdens with someone. “Let’s say that we go for a walk. He never holds my hand. I mean, he’ll hold it, but I have to be the one to reach out and take his hand. Once I do, he’ll hold it, but he never just takes it.”
She listened intently.
“And if we want to go somewhere to eat–oh!” Ashley shouted as the perfect example suddenly came to mind. “This just happened last weekend! So, I asked him what restaurant he wanted to go to and he told me–”
“That he didn’t care?” Jen asked, interrupting her.
Ashley’s jaw dropped. “Yeah! How’d you know that!?”
Jen let out a light laugh and motioned with her finger for Ashley to continue her story.
“Okay, so he told me that he didn’t care, but that definitely wasn’t the only time. He’s like that with everything. He’s always fine just doing whatever I want. At first, I thought it was a good thing. You know, that way we can always go to the places I want, and do the things I like to do.”
“But sometimes you want him to lead you?” Jen asked.
“Exactly!” Ashley confirmed.
“Honey, he’s never going to change.”
“He isn’t?” her daughter questioned.
She was about to admit to something extremely personal. “You can never repeat this to your father.”
“I swear,” Ashley promised.
“I still care about your dad and I always will, but there were a few signs that I look back on and realize I missed,” Jen confessed. “Either that, or I just refused to see them when they were right in front of me.”
It was no secret to Ashley that her parents’ marriage wasn’t exactly smooth sailing. They rarely talked or even made eye contact with each other, but at least they were still together, and that was better than most of her friends’ parents who had all seemingly divorced over the past five or so years.
“Dad’s a laid back guy,” Jen continued. “You know that. He pretty much just goes with the flow, and while that’s nice in a lot of aspects, it really sucks in others. He was the same as your boyfriend back when we started dating. Sure, we clicked; and yes, he had his shit together unlike most of the guys his age–or any age really–but I always had to take the lead. And I’m not talking financially either. The whole men need to outearn women thing is nonsense and outdated. That was your grandparents’ biggest concern when we started dating, and especially when we decided to get married. They wanted me to marry a wealthy guy with a prestigious job.”