Henry smiled and could not believe his good luck! “Yes! Yes, I would–but only if you agree to let me buy you dinner, to make up for my behavior earlier.”
Gwen smiled back at him and agreed. “I hadn’t fully decided on where I was going to eat. Do you have a preference?”
“Oh, no, I am happy to go wherever you would like. You should decide.”
Gwen thought momentarily and selected the nice Italian place, just a couple minutes walk away.
Dinner went surprisingly well for both Gwen and Henry. He solicited her recommendations on the menu and followed them. They talked easily and a lot about a range of subjects, from their backgrounds, jobs, college, history, sports, and some arts. He was a school teacher. She a mid-level project manager with a big development firm.
Gwen observed that he was very deferential, never interrupted her, and managed to avoid man-splaning the entire time, something she found a little shocking. For her part, Gwen studiously avoided the subject of why Henry thought she was “magnificent.” After a long dinner, for which Henry dutifully paid, it was time for them to go their separate ways. Gwen felt a bit bad about that now, because she clearly made substantially more money than he did, but she was not going to override his offer.
They walked out to the parking lot together, continuing their conversation. It must have been a bit of sight–she was in 3-inch heels and thus towered over Henry by 8 inches. When they had reached her car, she decided she wanted this to continue and finally asked, “I enjoyed the evening Henry, I am glad you joined me. I suppose what we just had would be could be called a date.”
“I, I guess so, although it would have to rank as one of the more unorthodox ways for it happening.”
“I agree with you there.” After a bit of a pause, she continued. “I would like to see you again. Would you be interested? If so give me your number.” Gwen did not offer her number. She wanted to check into this polite nice man she had just met, who claimed to be interested in her.
“I’d love to see you again, thank you!” Henry told Gwen his number as she wrote it down. Henry asked for hers in return.
“No, I don’t think so. I will call you–or not–but honestly I don’t know you well enough to give you my number just now.” Henry looked a bit disappointed but accepted this without complaint.
“I understand. I will wait for you to call me–and I really hope that you do.”
Gwen liked this. She like his deference. She liked giving him what were effectively orders. She like that he seemed to like taking her orders. Clearly if she were in any kind of relationship with Henry she would be the senior partner, or the dominant partner. After so many years on her own and doing and liking things her own way, finding a man who would also like and do things her way had great appeal for her.
Gwen waited several days before calling Henry. Her research revealed nothing concerning. He was exactly as he appeared at dinner. When she finally called, Henry sounded thrilled to be hearing from her. They agreed on dinner at another restaurant they both knew, but Gwen firmly told Henry that this time the meal would be on her.
The second date went so well, they scheduled a third for the following Saturday and Gwen offered to pick Henry up at his place then. When they parted ways at the restaurant parking lot, Gwen pulled Henry in for kiss, certain that nothing would happen between them unless she initiated. Henry was shy and deferential but he made no effort to resist her kiss. Gwen had not shied away from wearing heels again, why should she after all?
But as they drew close, she had to bend down a bit to meet Henry’s lips even as he raised himself up on his toes. She wrapped her large arms around him. He couldn’t escape her, not that he tried to in any way. It actually amused her. Gwen decided she did not mind the physical differences between them. On the contrary, she was liking them. She liked the feeling of security and control it was giving her. She did not feel as though Henry was–or could be–a threat to her in any way.
Over the course of the next week, Gwen thought warmly of seeing Henry again. But she knew she would have to turn the conversation toward the topic of where this began. Why did Henry find her “magnificent”? What did that even mean to him?
Gwen was glad when Saturday arrived and looked forward to seeing Henry. She arrived at his place and she did not have to get out of her car to let him know, as he was waiting for her and when he saw her car he bounded out the door. It wasn’t until they had settled into a table at the restaurant she had again selected and placed their orders that she started in on her agenda.
“Henry, I think we should talk, talk about where this is going and discuss some things you have said.”
“Uh, alright,” he said nervously, unsure of what she was referring to.
“The first night that we met, you said I was ‘magnificent.’ If our relationship is going to go forward, I need to understand that–what did you mean?”
Henry swallowed, stalling for time. This was not a conversation he was expecting.
“Well, uh, I’m not sure what you mean. I, I thought you were a beautiful woman.”
Gwen knew he was lying–or least not telling the complete truth. By this fourth date, she knew she had the authority in the relationship, if for no other reason than her stronger, more domineering personality as well as her physical size. She decided it was time to use it.
“No, Henry, you’re either lying or you’re leaving something out. I love that you think I am beautiful, but I am not a conventionally beautiful woman by society’s standards. I am not… thin. And you didn’t say ‘beautiful.’ You said ‘magnificent,’ which is not a word people use in everyday conversation and certainly not something one usually says to a total stranger. Do better.”
Henry realized he would have to tell her more about his innermost thoughts, what made him tick, if you will.
“Okay…”. He paused, trying to summon his thoughts. “Well, I am not sure how well I can explain this, then, but let me try. Ever since I was a kid, I always liked, uh, the bigger girls, the girls at school who were taller and bigger than me. I liked their strength, and confidence, and… their bossiness. On the playground, I was always happy to do what they wanted to do, to play whatever games they wanted to play, even if — or sometimes maybe because — they would toy with me.
“Then in high school and college, I still was enamored of the big and tall girls–women. I was erotically attracted to their size and strength. I dated a few here and there but had only one long-term relationship with one that lasted a year. She really got it and she seemed to enjoy her size and strength advantages when we were together, alone. But we didn’t last because in the end she couldn’t imagine that this was something she wanted for her life. We remained friends, but she ended up marrying a basketball player she had met her senior year.”
Gwen listened carefully and studied Henry closely now that she finally got him to open up and explain himself. After he talked a bit more, she asked him: “So, do you consider yourself kind of… submissive toward women, or at least toward large and tall women?”