I Wanna Mommy fo’ Chwismus

An adult stories – I Wanna Mommy fo’ Chwismus by Trionyx,Trionyx This story is submitted for the Winter Holidays Story Contest 2023.

—–

I WANNA MOMMY FO’ CHWISMUS

—–

“Hi, Sweetie, I’m Evie the elf. What’s your name?”

“Mandy,” answered the nervous appearing girl.

“So, Mandy, what are you going to ask Santa for Christmas?”

“I wanna (mumble…mumble) fo’ Chwismus.”

“I’m sorry, but what did you want?”

“A (mumble…mumble).”

“Sweetheart, when you’re up there with Santa, you’ll have to speak up. You know, he’s kinda old and can’t hear very well. And I still didn’t hear you…”

“I said I wanna MOMMY fo’ Chwismus!”

Eve stood there stunned after the little girl shouted out her Christmas wish. Everyone in Santa’s Village must have heard her and even Travis, wearing his Santa costume, paused for a few seconds while he was talking to a little boy.

“OK, uh, OK, Sweetheart, I, uh, you know, Santa brings good little boys and girls toys for Christmas. All my elf friends are at the North Pole working day and night making those toys but we don’t make Mommies.”

“I don’t wanna toy. I wanna mommy!” she began to cry with huge tears rolling down her flushed cheeks, “I wanna a mommy!”

Eve was beside herself. Occasionally she would have to deal with a pouty or scared child as she stood next to Santa but she had never had a major meltdown over such a heartbreaking request. Not knowing what to do, she knelt next to the little girl, gave her a big hug and tried to console her. Travis hurriedly finished up with the boy and turned to Eve and the little girl.

“Ho, ho, ho. I’m Santa,” he smiled at her. “Evie here’s my favoritest elf who helps me with little girls and boys.”

“Can you give me a mommy?” she wailed.

He looked stricken at Eve and glanced around the village. All eyes were on him and Eve knew the young man in the Santa costume had no idea how to handle the meltdown. “Sweetheart, Santa and I can’t bring you a mommy. I’m so sorry but we bring toys…”

A loud, high-pitched scream erupted from the girl as she threw herself down on the ground, crying and pounding her little fists on the floor. As Eve was trying to console her, she heard a warm, calming voice from behind her.

“Mandy, Love, come to Daddy. Here, let me give you a big hug.”

An extremely handsome young man in his late twenties, she guessed, leaned over to rub the girl’s back before picking her up in a warm hug. Mandy seemed to calm down a little though she was still sobbing into his shoulder. He mouthed ‘Sorry’ to Eve and Santa before turning and walking down the little ramp leading from Santa’s chair. Her cries could be heard as he carried her from the area. Trying to get things back on track, Eve quickly turned to the next child. “Hi there, I’m Evie the Elf. Go ahead and hop up on Santa’s lap and tell him what you want for Christmas.”

Several children later, a woman leaned over the small picket fence at the rear of the display and whispered to Eve, “Uh, Miss Elf, that man with the crying little girl left his bag when he went to get her. Should I leave it here?”

“Yeah, thanks. I’ll hold onto it and if he doesn’t come back, I’ll turn it into Lost and Found.”

For the rest of her shift, Eve kept an eye out for Mandy’s father but he never returned. Once her relief elf arrived, Eve took the package and headed towards the Lost and Found office. The bag had the name of a small boutique shop on it, a shop she happened to be walking by at that moment. A sudden inspiration hit.

“Excuse me, uh, I was working at Santa’s Village when a father accidentally left this. Is there any way you can tell me who it was?”

“Ah, well, we can check to see if it was paid in cash or by credit card. Let me see…Hmm, here it is. Credit card!”

“And do you have a name?”

“Let me check. Yeah, here it is: Cameron Smith.”

“That’s not too common of a name. Any address?”

“No, the computer only stores the name and the last four of the credit card. Sorry.”

“Well, that’s more than I knew. I’ll tell Lost and Found what I know and maybe they can search it out.”

“Good luck!”

But as luck would have it, Lost and Found was closed for the day. Eve decided to keep the bag to turn in on her next shift. On her way home, her mind kept going back to the little girl Mandy who wanted a mother for Christmas. ‘I wonder what happened to her? Did she leave them? Die? Was there ever a mother in the picture? Maybe he was a solo parent by choice.’

—–

It wasn’t until she arrived home that she remembered she was not on duty at Santa’s Village for two days. She would have to return the bag early the next morning which meant another long drive in her rickety, old gas-hog, something she dreaded. But she knew it was the right thing to do and hoped she could afford the extra fuel and the car would even make it there and back.

The next morning dawned cold and snowy; indeed, the news reported a major storm had hit the community. Already eight inches of snow had fallen and another twelve inches were predicted. She knew immediately driving to the mall was out of the question. After drinking a second cup of mocha, she decided to try and track down this Cameron Smith. She logged onto a phone finder site to find a surprising total of five Cameron Smiths who resided in the county. She paid a small fee for a one-day membership and quickly obtained the contact information for all five of them.

She was surprised at how rude a couple of the Camerons were. One swore at her and one simply hung up in her ear. The fourth one denied being the Cameron from the mall but tried to ask her out, a request which was quickly declined.

On the fifth and last contact, she hit pay dirt.

“Hello.”

“Hi, my name is Eve Weibern and I’m looking for a Cameron Smith who was at the mall yesterday.”

“Yes?”

“Are you him?”

“Why are you asking?”

“We, I have a bag that was left at Santa’s Village and I believe it belongs to Cameron Smith.”

“Is it a green bag with a couple of scarves in it?”

“Yes, it is. You must have left it…”

“Yeah, I completely forgot about it. You see, my daughter had a meltdown before she could see Santa and I had to get her out of there and home. I guess I just forgot the bag.”

“Yeah, she was pretty unhappy, wasn’t she?”

“You…you were there?”

“Yeah. I’m working as an elf trying to earn a little extra cash and asked her what she wanted for Christmas.”

“You said you were Eve when you called but the elf was Evie…”

“Yeah, I changed it a little to make it sound more holiday-ish, but my real name is Eve.”

“Hi, Eve, I’m Cameron, but I guess you already knew that,” he chuckled, “Ah, there’s no rush but I’d like to get the bag sometime.”

“I could drive it to you…”

“In this weather? No, absolutely not. We can wait a few days and decide then and besides, I forgot it so I should be the one doing the driving.”

“Or we could meet at the mall. I’ve got another elf session in three days.”

“Tuesday? That might work. Mandy’s in preschool that day and I could swing by. When is your shift?”

“From ten to three.”

“Great. I’ll sneak out of work early and drop by around three or so. Does that work?”

“Yeah, that’d be great. See you then.”

—–

On Tuesday she was busy with dozens of excited preschoolers all wanting to put in their requests with the old man for toys and games, games which most old men have no clue about. But Travis in the costume was young enough to answer their questions and delicate enough to never fully promise any gift. Shortly before three, she saw Cameron standing off in a corner. She waved to him, beckoning him forward, but he pointed at his watch, smiled and politely shook his head.

A few minutes later the relief elf came to the village allowing Eve to leave while telling the children she had to rush back to the North Pole to work on some of the toys. She walked over to Cameron offering him the bag.

“Here you go. Look familiar?”

“Yeah, that’s it. Thank you. Saved me another shopping trip and some money to boot.”

“Hey, it was no big deal. Glad to help.”

“Say, could I at least buy you a coffee, you know, as a thank you?”

“Oh, there’s no need for that. I was glad to help.”

“OK, well, could I buy a sweet lady a cup of coffee to celebrate the season and the end of her shift?”

“Are you asking me out?” she asked warily.

“Only for a coffee over there at the food court. I’ve got about forty-five minutes before I go pick up Mandy and having a coffee with you would help pass the time. Please?”

“Oh, sure, I guess. I’m free for a little bit but then I need to get home and start studying.”

“Oh? And where do you go to school?”

As they wandered over to the coffee shop, their conversation was comfortable and friendly. She told him her major was psychology and she anticipated a career as a child psychologist. He was employed by a small internet start-up business which allowed him a lot of flexibility in his schedule.

“I can work around my daughter’s daycare and preschool schedules fairly easily. She’s the most important thing in my life and though I might earn more money elsewhere, I’d rather be there for her.”

“That’s so sweet.” Eve wondered what happened to Mandy’s mom but felt it wasn’t appropriate to ask. But she found herself enjoying Cameron’s presence. The forty-five minutes flew by and before she knew it, Cameron told her he needed to leave.

“I’ve got to run and pick her up. Say, uh, this may be a bit forward but would you maybe consider going out sometime with us? You know, something low key. Maybe something fun for Mandy?”

“Cameron, I, uh…”

“Cam. Call me Cam. All my friends do.”

“OK, Cam. This is, well, unexpected.”

“Yeah, but I’ve enjoyed talking with you and suddenly thought we might want to do this again and introduce you to Mandy when she’s not having a meltdown.”

“It will have to be after Christmas since I’ve still got finals.”

“That’d be great. I still have your number and if it’s OK with you, I’ll call and we can set something up. Thanks.” He seemed almost hesitant and bashful as he turned to head to his car.

On her way home, Eve kept thinking about Cameron, well, about Cam. He seemed like a truly nice guy. He wasn’t pushy; indeed, he was almost amusingly shy but he did want to get together again so he must have been interested. Although he didn’t talk about Mandy much, it was clear she was the apple of his eye and he was devoted to her. She hoped someday he’d tell her about Mandy’s mom and what happened there.

After her last final, Eve breathed a big sigh of relief. Two of her classmates invited her out for a celebratory drink but she declined indicating she had ‘other plans.’ They teased her about having a hot date though she reassured them it was not the case. Frankly, she merely wanted an evening for herself with no thoughts of school.

She celebrated a quiet Christmas by herself opening the few gifts from her parents who were on a round-the-world cruise. After plowing through a cheap novel and watching sappy Hallmark romances on TV, she had an extra glass of wine before hitting the sack.

—–

The day after Christmas Cam called. “Hey, Eve, I’ve got a rambunctious little girl here who wants to do something. Any ideas?”

“Would Mandy maybe like to go sledding?”

“I’m sure she would. She’s a fairly gutsy little gal and as long as I’m with her, she tends to jump into any new activity with enthusiasm.”

Eve did a quick cost calculation in her head and paused a second before going out on a limb, “Uh, I’d love to invite her to go sledding, you, too, of course. There’s a nice sledding park at Yellow River but I can’t get up there in my rickety ol’ car.”

“Yeah, that would be great. I’m sure she’d love it. We can go in my four-wheel drive SUV. What do tickets run?”

“Not much and it’s on me, anyway.”

“No, I, we, can’t accept that. You’re a ‘starving student’ and I can easily afford it.”

“No, it’s OK, honest.”

“Look, just your being there will be payment enough. I’d love her to meet you and this will be the perfect way, you know, an activity together that’s exciting enough she won’t try to get us married,” he laughed.

“Cam, I know she wants a mother,” she paused a few seconds before going on, “But, uh, someday I’d like to hear about her mother”

There was a long pause on the other end of the line before she heard him clear his throat. ‘I should have kept my mouth shut,’ she scolded herself.

“Yeah, sure, of course. It’s a painful story and I can’t, I can’t sit here and tell you in a few words. When the time is right…”

“I’m so sorry, uh, I, uh, look, you don’t have to tell me. I’m sorry I brought it up, even.”

“You didn’t bring it up. It’s always in my mind, every second of every day. You deserve to know if we’re going to be friends and if you’re going to meet Mandy, well, she’ll bring it up, I’m sure.”

“Look, it’s the holiday season and though I’m sure it’s difficult for you, let’s do something fun and maybe it will help her and you a tiny bit. And if she brings it up, I’ll put on my child psychologist hat and deal with it the best I know how. And I think the way to deal with it is to be her friend.”

“Yeah, she needs that. So, when are we going?”

They made plans for the sledding park two days later. Mandy was thrilled to go but seemed shy when her father introduced Eve.

“Mandy, Hon, this is Eve. She’s a friend and it was her idea to go sledding. What do you say?”

“Thank you?”

“You’re welcome, Mandy. Tell me, is Mandy, your full name?”

“No.”

“I think I can guess what it is. Is it Amanda?”

Her head nodded up and down.

“You know, we could shorten your name even more.”

“How?”

“I think you should be called ‘Man,’ short for Mandy.”

“I’m not a man, I’m a giwl!”

“OK, Sweetheart, I’ll call you Mandy, then. You excited to go sledding?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Good! They’ve got a big tire for a sled and you can slide down all kinds of hills. It’s a hoot, I promise.”

The sledding was a blast. Mandy took one ride down the hill on an innertube with her father before she demanded her own innertube. Eve and Cam kept her on the smaller hills where the sledding was slow and safe but she was more than thrilled each time she slid down the slope. They taught her how to ride the T-bar up the hill and introduced her to tandem sledding while holding hands. She seemed to have the most fun when all three went down the slopes together, crashing into each other the whole time.

After a quick snack and hot cocoa, they drove back to the city with Mandy sound asleep in her car seat behind them. Their conversation was friendly and light.

“She had a blast. Thanks for the idea.”

“She’s such a sweetheart. It’s little kids like her who make me want to go into child psych. I adore little people.”

“Uh, Eve, if you have a few minutes, I’d like to invite you in while I put her down and I’ll spring for a Lyft to get you home.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, I think it’s time I tell you about me, about us. I’ll even pop for a glass of wine.”

“A glass of wine?” she smiled, “In that case, sure.”

He carried Mandy into the bedroom while she wandered around the living room. Pictures of an attractive, tall thin woman were everywhere. In one of them he stood proudly behind her while a baby sat on the lap of the smiling woman. ‘She was very attractive,’ Eve mused.

Cameron returned, got two glasses of white wine from the kitchen and had Eve sit on a small divan while he took a nearby chair.

“I guess it’s time to tell you about me. About us.

“Suzanne and I met years ago while we were still in high school. We dated a little, nothing serious, before we left to go to college. During the summer between our sophomore and junior years we ended up back in our home town and working as lifeguards at the city pool. It was magical. After a few days, I realized she was the one. I know it sounds crazy and, in a way, it was, but we fell madly in love.

“After a couple of months, we ended up, well, we had sex. She was the first and only woman I’ve ever been with and I truly believe I was her first also. That fall I was so miserable that at Christmas I transferred to her college and we finished our degrees at the same time, graduated together and three days later we were married.

“I won’t say it was perfect, nothing is, but we made things work and, if anything, our love got stronger over the next year or so. Then we had a surprise. Suzanne got pregnant and though we hadn’t planned on it, we decided we wanted our baby. And that’s where Mandy came into the picture.

“After she was born things were hectic but we were both earning reasonable salaries so we hired a nanny and Suze was able to telecommute most of the time. We were so happy and Mandy was such an easy baby; she slept through the night early on and was never fussy.

“We were thinking about maybe having another one when…” Cameron’s voice cracked.

Eve reached across to him and gently rubbed his hand. “If you don’t want to go any further…”

“No, I need to. You need to know. Anyway, one week she seemed suddenly tired a lot, totally exhausted. She took some time off from work and it only got worse. On a Friday in January, almost a year ago now, I came home from work and she was drenched in sweat. I knew she was sick, really sick, so I took her to the ER.

“The doctor came out and started talking and all I heard was ‘leukemia’ and ‘sepsis,’ which is a blood stream infection. They admitted her and because she had no infection fighting white blood cells, they threw her in isolation. Neither Mandy nor I could see her, talk to her, hold her. Within one day her blood pressure dropped and they gave her tons of IVs and special medicines to raise her pressure. Her breathing got bad and she went on a ventilator, you know, a breathing machine.

“After that, she never opened her eyes again and she died four days later.” As tears dripped down Cameron’s face, Eve knelt by him and held him in her arms.

“I can’t imagine how awful it must have been,” she whispered.

A few minutes later he recovered enough to go on. “My whole life, our whole lives, were ruined. I couldn’t function for weeks. My boss gave me time off and my mom came to take care of Mandy. And poor little Mandy, she was devastated. She and her mom were a special pair. She misses her every day. I hear her talking to Suze every night and it breaks my heart even more.

“You know, the little episode at Santa’s village was the first time she ever talked about getting a new mother. It was so sudden, so shocking I didn’t quite know how to handle it. I took her home, we had a good cry and by the next morning she seemed back to as normal as you could expect. But I’m worried she might look at any woman as a potential mom.”

“So, you’re warning me, eh?”

“Maybe I am, yeah.”

“That behavior is totally normal for children and if it ever comes up, I’ll be as gentle as I can and let her know you and I are friends, just like I’ll try to be her friend.”

“Phew. I don’t think I’ve ever told anyone the whole story before. In a way it’s, uh, it’s a relief that it’s out there, with you, that is.”

“Sometimes talking can be good therapy. And Cam, thank you for telling me and please, although it’s been a year, please accept my sympathy.”

“Thanks, Eve. Uh, let’s get you home. I’d prefer to drive you but with her asleep…”

“No, a gig ride will be fine and you don’t want to leave her alone.”

“No, of course not and she’s out for the night, I’m sure. She had such a blast. Thanks for the idea.”

“Yeah, was fun. You know, she’s a real sweetie.”

“I know. I’m so glad she’s in my life. She keeps Suzanne’s memory alive for me when I see her face scrunch up like Suze’s did and as her face loses its baby fat, Mandy’s looking more and more like her mother every day.”

“You’re so fortunate to have her.”

“Yeah, I am. I really am.”

—–

On New Year’s Eve, she had a glass of wine while watching the festivities from New York and thinking about her own life and the upcoming year. She was excited to have only three more semesters of college with most of the classes in her major. And she thought about Cam and Mandy. She liked them both. Mandy was a darling little girl and her father, though burdened by his grief, seemed to be a decent human being. She knew he had a lot of emotional pain he needed to work through before he could move on with his life and she would be willing to let herself get closer to him, if he would allow it.

It was about a week after the first when Cameron called. He apologized for taking so long to call but reported work was extremely busy and he didn’t get much free time until late in the evenings. Things had eased up and he seemed chatty and worry free during their conversation.

“Mandy is asking for another sledding trip. You up for it?”

“Uh, actually, my classes are going to require a lot of time and spending a whole day is not going to be possible. Could we perhaps do something a little more low-key, you know, around here?”

“How about we have you come over here for an afternoon, you know, hang out, then dinner. We can get you home with plenty of time to study.”

“Sounds good. Should I come over or…?”

“No, we’ll pick you up on Saturday around three. OK?”

Their casual afternoon together was fun. Mandy was in great spirits and dragged Eve to the bedroom and was given a running dissertation on all the toys and dolls. She even served a pretend tea while her dad stood with a sad but bemused look at the door. After their ‘tea,’ he invited Eve to the living room where they sat and watched a football game on mute and talked about nothing and everything. At one point when Mandy had gone back to her bedroom, he quietly turned to Eve and whispered, “It will be one year, you know, since…since then, uh this Wednesday.”

“It must be so hard for you. I don’t know how you can function.”

“It’s hard, very hard. I think the best thing to do is keep busy. That way I won’t dwell on it too much.”

“You probably will, at least some. If there’s anything I can do to help, let me know. Does Mandy understand the year thing?”

“Kinda, I guess. Say, could I impose and ask you to take her for a couple of hours that afternoon? I’d like to go visit Suze at the Memorial Gardens by myself. Got some talking to do.”

“Sure. No classes. Want me to come here?”

“How about you pick her up at the pre-school. I’ll put you on the list. Say, two-ish? You could take her for an ice cream cone and then back here. Read to her or something until I get back.

“I can do that. Give me their address and let her know to expect me.”

On Wednesday she arrived promptly at the Little Red Kindergarten and once she showed her ID, Mandy was released to her care. Mandy was talking a mile a minute and was excited to get an ice cream.

Later in the car, Mandy spoke up, “Daddy’s real sad.”

“Oh?”

“Uh-huh and I know why.”

“Why?”

“He misses Mommy.”

“I’m sure he does,” she answered noncommittally while trying to avoid too much talk about Suzanne.

“Eve, what’s a annivuhswy?”

“Well, it’s when a year has gone by. A daddy and a mommy will sometimes celebrate anniversaries on the day they got married.”

“Oh. Uh, did my mommy die on this day?”

“Yes, well, last year on this day in January, yes, Honey, she did.”

“Is that a annivuhswy?”

“Yes, it is kinda, but most anniversaries are happy days, not sad ones.”

“I don’t like ’em.”

“I’m sure you don’t.”

Tears started sliding down Mandy’s cheeks as she sat in her car seat. “Honey, it’s OK to be sad. It’s OK to miss your mom.”

“But I fowget her sometimes and I don’t wanna fowget.”

“Well, we’re almost home. Do you have any pictures you want to look at and show me?”

“Yes,” she sniffed.

At their front door Mandy pulled out a key from under her top and let Eve open the heavy door. “Ovuh hewe awe some pictuwes.”

“Good. Now sit here beside me and tell me all about your mommy.”

Mandy’s memory of her mother was spotty but she did seem to enjoy looking at the pictures and showing them to Eve. The woman was lovely looking with a genuine smile. Her figure seemed very attractive and in one photo from the beach, Eve could tell Suzanne was definitely a looker.

“She looks very nice, Honey.”

“Yeah, I guess, but I fowget her,” she wailed suddenly. Eve pulled the little girl into her arms and held her, gently stroking her head and uttering soothing little comments. The crying eventually eased until Eve realized Mandy had fallen asleep. She continued to hold the girl while absent-mindedly paging through the photo album in an almost voyeuristic journey through Cam and Mandy’s life.

She heard the key in the front door and quickly closed the album while keeping her arm around Mandy. Cameron, looking awful, managed a tight smile upon seeing them and plopped down on a chair across the room.

“I can’t imagine how awful of a day this must have been so I won’t even ask you how you are doing but I will ask if there’s anything I can do to help,” she whispered.”

“No, you’ve done way more than enough. Has she eaten?”

“No, she showed me some pictures of Suzanne and got upset she’s forgetting her mother. Cried herself to sleep.”

“Let me get her to bed so you can get back to your studying. I can’t thank you enough for the babysitting.”

“Mandy’s a sweet, sweet child and I loved being with her.”

Cameron carried his daughter to the back of the house while Eve stood idly in the living room. A few minutes later he returned, thanked her once again and showed her to the door. He looked so forlorn she turned and gave him a brief hug. “I can’t imagine what it’s like and I won’t give you a pep talk. Just know my heart goes out to you two.”

“Thanks, Eve, ‘preciate it.”

It took her over an hour after she was home before she could shake the images of the day from her mind and begin studying. Little Mandy was still in pain and worried she’d forget her mother and Cam was obviously suffering. Hopefully the anniversary blues would ease soon.

—–

Two weeks later he called and asked if they could get together for an afternoon at the children’s museum. This was popular with kids particularly in the winter when the weather discouraged outdoor activities. When they picked her up, Mandy seemed happy and excited.

“Eve, the museum’s got a dinosauw skelton! An’ a woom with spewiments.”

“Sounds like fun. You’ll need to show me everything.”

They had a blast watching her run from room to room, demanding they read her the details on all the signs. The T. rex skeleton made from carved wood was a hit as was the lab room. Age-appropriate activities allowed kids to learn about some of the basic laws of physics and even some simple chemistry. Eve marveled at the patience of the museum employees in dealing with the excited youngsters.

After her ice cream from the gift shop, Mandy fell asleep in the back of the car while Cameron drove home. The two had a comfortable time talking about the museum before talk turned to how he was doing.

“It was pretty rough there for a few days but I’m a little better. My boss gave me some time off so we took a little trip to see my mom. She doted on Mandy and gave her some girl-time she needed.”

“Your dad?”

“He lives out on the coast now and isn’t in the picture. I never knew what happened between them but I get the idea he found someone else. Mom won’t talk about it at all. Calls him the “F,” for fucker, I guess, but you’d never hear her use the word out loud. She’s too proper for that.”

“That’s actually kinda sweet, in a way, to know some people are still ‘proper’.”

“Don’t get the idea she’s a stick in the mud, though. She’s still a hoot and Mandy and she are so close, especially now.”

“Sounds like the kind of person I’d like to meet someday.”

“Uh, no, I don’t think it’d be such a good idea now. She might think we were, you know…”

“No, please, Cam, I wasn’t suggesting it, I was merely saying she sounds like a neat person, someone worth knowing.”

“Well, here you are, your chariot has delivered you to your doorstep.”

“Thanks, Cam, I enjoyed it. Tell her I said good-bye, OK?”

“Sure. Study hard.”

That evening after she wrapped up her work, she sat down with a glass of wine and thought about the day, Mandy and especially Cam. She had a good time and realized she adored little Mandy. The girl had so much energy, enthusiasm and smarts and even though she had lost the biggest person in her life, she seemed to be a good kid, a decent human. Eve slowly came to the decision she’d try to make herself available for Mandy and maybe give her some girl-time like her grandmother did.

And then there was Cameron. Cam. He seemed to be the genuine article, too, but there was a distance, a barrier he had erected around himself due to his tragedy. She found herself attracted to him and sometimes when he looked at her, she thought he might be attracted to her. But he was still grieving and probably couldn’t, wouldn’t let himself get involved with someone else. But she admitted she liked him and could see herself falling for him. He was, after all, a handsome guy. The age difference was only six years or so, she guessed, and when his grief wasn’t showing, his smile could melt the Artic. He had a nice, friendly-looking face, gorgeous eyes and a body most women would love to hold.

‘Enough!’ she scolded herself as she finished the wine, ‘He’s not on the market and you should keep him in the friend zone so you can spend more time with Mandy.’

So, it was a huge surprise when he called her a few days later and asked her out.

“Uh, Eve, would you, uh, would you ever consider going out to dinner with me? You know, just the two of us?”

“Cam, are you asking me on a date because if you are, yes, I would love to. And Mandy?”

“I’d get a sitter. Best she not know about this, though. She might think, well, she might think there’s more to it than a casual evening.”

“I see. OK, get me some details. This weekend is out, I’ve got two nasty exams early next week and have to study. After that I should be clear for a couple of weeks.”

“Great. I’ll call early next week and we can set something up for the following Saturday. OK?”

Eve’s exams were a snap and on the following Friday evening and Saturday morning she studied so she could relax for her date with Cam that evening. She knew it must be hard for him to enter the dating scene again with all of his emotional baggage but she was hoping having a casual evening together might help him relax.

While showering and shaving her legs, she idly wondered if she should groom downstairs but she realized there was no way they’d be intimate. Suzanne had been his one and only and he was merely dipping his toe back into the dating pool. Surely, he wasn’t looking to get laid! So, the grooming would be left for another day and probably for another man.

Being a poor student limited her clothing choices but she wanted to look nice, even sexy. She dug through her closet looking for the right outfit for a cool winter’s night and there at the far back corner, she found it.

In front of the mirror, she dropped her robe and looked critically at the woman staring back at her. She was slightly taller and thinner than average but she still sported some nice curves. Her boobs were decent, at least she had never had any complaints, and she liked the gentle swell of her hips which gave her a soft, hour-glass figure. Her wavy blonde hair hanging down to her shoulders framed her face, a face she was proud of: nice blue eyes, slightly prominent cheek bones, small nose and slightly full lips. ‘Perfect for an elf,’ she chuckled to herself, ‘Just add little pointed fake ears and white clown face.’

Her sexiest bra and matching panties went on first followed by the knee-length dark blue woolen dress which, despite its thickness, hugged her curves nicely. A woolen scarf wrapped over the modest neckline, stay up hose and low heels completed the outfit.

‘Not bad, not bad at all,’ she thought. She knew this was not a ‘hot date’ but she was still proud of her looks and wanted to look good for him. After all, he had already seen her in snowy, wet winter clothes on the sledding hill and now she wanted him to see the other Eve. And, to be honest, she wanted to be desired, even if nothing would ever come of it.

The second she opened her door to him, she knew it had worked. He paused a second with his mouth partly open and his eyes dilated before he seemed to regain the power of speech.

“Uh, hello, you ready?”

“Yes. Let me grab my coat and purse. You’ve got me all curious. Where’re we going for dinner?”

“A little place called Guido’s. Know it?”

“Heard of it. Heard it was expensive.”

“Not too bad. I’ve never been there so it will be new for the both of us.”

In the car they chatted mainly about her courses. She enthusiastically told him some of the interesting things she was working on including her first clinical sessions which were part of one class.

“We get to observe professionals and how they work with their patients, you know, the kids, and then we will have the opportunity to take over the counseling with them supervising us. This will go all year long so we’ll get to really know the kids before it’s all over.”

“Sounds pretty neat.”

“Yeah, and I know I’ve found what I want to do with my professional life. It’s what I was meant to do, I guess.”

Guido’s was an exclusive restaurant serving Italian cuisine and featuring live music on the weekends. A jazz trio playing softly in front of a small dance floor added a nice ambiance to the atmosphere. Cam and Eve were seated at a small table, offered Italian bottled water and provided menus.

“Cam, this is lovely. And the food looks scrumptious.”

“Yeah, I’d heard it was worth the trip. Wine?”

“Yes, please. You choose.”

A few minutes later after they chose their entrees and as their red wine aired, they began to talk. They told each other more of their backgrounds, where they grew up and even some of their political views which fortunately were similar. What pleased Eve the most was how Cam was able to mention Suzanne without obvious discomfort or distress. Having poured it all out to her previously seemed to help him open up even more.

Dinner, consisting of foods she had never heard of, was delicious. She loved the small balls of sorbet between the courses and the dark, strong espresso which came with the elegant, rich torte dessert. The atmosphere, the wonderful food, the wine and the soft music all combined to give her a wonderful sensation she couldn’t name, much less describe.

As she sat there with a soft smile on her face, Cameron leaned towards her and asked, “Care to join me for a dance?”

Care to join him? Who wouldn’t? Of course, she wanted to dance with him. It would make the evening complete, perfect even, to sway in the arms of a handsome man after such a wonderful meal.

“Yes, I’d love to.”

Cam held her loosely in his arms as he began to lead her around the tiny dance floor. Could he dance! In no time she felt transported to another dimension as the rhythm of the bass penetrated her and he guided her expertly, keeping perfect time and never once stepping on her toes. After the first dance, three other couples came to the dance floor leaving them less room to maneuver and forcing them closer.

She snuggled up to him, rested her head on his shoulder and brought her pelvis to his. For a second, she thought he might resist but once the slower, more sensual music started, his body seemed to relax as his arms tightened around her. Eve had never felt so cherished as she felt that night in his arms. And she realized she was getting turned on. If the circumstances had been different, she could see herself sleeping with him, but she knew it would never happen. He still needed a lot of healing before he’d ever become intimate with another woman.

Then she felt it! A subtle pressure at first before a definite swelling pushed into her lower belly. He was getting excited! She could feel his erection! And it thrilled her to think he was excited dancing with her. Unfortunately, she felt him try to pull his pelvis back from her, something she definitely did not want him to do. She loved feeling his arousal so she slid her hand down his back and pulled him to her.

“This is so embarrassing,” he whispered in her ear.

She tipped her head up to him smiling. “I don’t think so. Kinda gives a girl positive feedback.” When he tried to pull back a second time, she held him tighter. “You’re not going anywhere, Mister,” she giggled, “So get used to it.”

They finished the dance to the band announcing a five-minute break and walked back to their table with him following her closely. She grinned to herself knowing he was trying to hide his erection but at the table, she made no further mention of it. After talking for a few more minutes and finishing their drinks, he settled the bill and they made their way towards the door. She was pleased he escorted her with his arm loosely across her low back and opened the car door for her. They were quiet on the way back to her place but her mind was racing with unanswered questions. ‘Should I invite him in? What about a kiss?’

At her place he opened her car door and escorted her up the sidewalk but without his arm on her back. On the porch she turned to him saying, “I had a lovely time. Thank you.”

“Yeah, nice. Uh, sorry about the, uh, you know.”

“Cam, it was completely OK and like I said, it gives a girl a thrill knowing the guy responds to her.”

“Well, anyway, I’m not in control of myself when I have a lovely lady in my arms.”

“You think I’m lovely? Wow, you just made my night.”

“Yes, you are. Look, I’d better be going. The sitter wanted to leave early tonight, something about a late date with her boyfriend.”

“OK, Cam.”

“Well, gotta go.” He started to turn away when she gently grabbed his hand and pulled him to her.

“Not so fast,” she whispered as she reached up and placed a soft kiss on his cheek. He pulled back and looked at her as if he wanted to kiss her but, with a slight frown, he pulled back.

“Goodnight, Eve. Sweet dreams.”

“You, too. Goodnight.”

Inside her place she sat down with a tiny glass of port and relived the evening. It had been wonderful although he clearly appeared uncomfortable at times, particularly when she gave him that kiss on his cheek. She knew it was due to everything which had happened to him and the newness of their relationship, yet as much as she might have wanted things to move along a little faster (God, did she feel good when she danced with him!), she knew she needed to take it slow.

—–

They texted a couple of times the following week but it became rapidly apparent he was not one to text very often. She kept hoping he might ask her out again but it was nearly two weeks later before he called.

“Hey, it’s me.”

“Hi, Me,” she laughed, “What’s up?”

“Been busy at work. How’s school?”

“Great. I love the clinical section I told you about. Some of those kids are so sweet and if they can be helped now, it should make things so much nicer for them in the long run.”

“That’s great and it’s neat you’ve found something you’re passionate about.”

“Yeah. You’ve been busy, huh?”

“New project at work, all hush-hush but I’ve got a good team. Uh, say, would you like to get together again? You know, maybe with Mandy?”

“I’d love to. She’s a real peach. What’d you have in mind?”

“Maybe a movie night at our place, that is if you can stand Disney.”

“I love Disney movies. You know what I like to do with them?”

“No, what?”

“I look for sexy images or double entendres which they slipped by the censors. It’s amazing what you can find when you concentrate on it.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Look in the clouds. Amazing what words or images are there, sometimes only for a second.”

“OK, will do. How about Sunday afternoon. Can you come by around two? We’ll watch a movie and have dinner. Not too late.”

“Sounds great. Say hello to her for me. See you then.”

Somewhat nervously, she rang their bell promptly at two. She had worried about what she should wear and after her shower tried on several outfits. Sexy yet casual was the look she was striving for and only when she pulled on some tight yoga pants and a fluffy sweater was she pleased. The outfit showed off her legs yet teasingly hid her torso and the girls.

Mandy opened the door and launched herself at Eve. “Yeah, you came and we can watch movies!”

Eve returned the hug while laughing, “Mandy, Hon, one movie might be all we have time for.”

“No! Two or thwee.”

“Amanda, we talked about it and I told you just one. Remember?”

“Yes, Daddy,” she answered with a slight frown.

“But I expect you to serve me tea before the movie. OK?”

“Yea, let’s!” she exclaimed as she dragged Eve to her room. She, along with two dolls, was served ‘tea’ while Mandy gave a running commentary on all things little girl including her ‘bestest’ friend at preschool and that mean Evan who pulled her ponytail recently.

“That probably means he likes you.”

“But it huwt.”

“Does he really pull it that hard?”

“No. But if he likes me, why does he huwt me?”

“Boys are sometimes funny that way. He doesn’t know how to get your attention so he grabbed your ponytail. Maybe you can invite him to do something with you and see how it goes.”

“Like what?”

“Do you have play time? You could ask him to be on your team or something,” she answered as she caught a glimpse of Cam in the hallway listening in.

“But boys are icky! And what if he wants to hold my hand?”

“Some boys are icky, you’re right, but I kinda think he’s probably OK. And if you don’t want a boy to do something, don’t do it. Pull your hand back if he tries to hold it. You should never let anyone do anything to you that you don’t want. Ever. Understand?”

“That’s what Miss Cathy told us.”

“Miss Cathy is a smart lady. Uh, I thought we were going to watch a movie.”

“Yea, let’s,” she shouted as she dragged Eve into the living room. She smiled at Cam as he winked back at her.

“OK, Mandy, you know which three movies we picked out. Now the polite thing to do is ask our guest which one she wants to watch.”

“Eve, you pick.”

“Thank you, Sweetheart, but I don’t know anything about them so I want you to pick your favorite.”

With her favorite loaded on the smart TV, Mandy plopped down in front of the sofa while Cam and Eve sat next to each other behind her. Mandy’s eyes were glued to the TV and she demanded absolute silence from the adults behind her. Eve was a little frustrated at not being able to talk with Cam so she ended up slipping her hand into his and would squeeze it when a suggestive dialog or event occurred. She glanced over at him to find him smiling at her little signals.

Once the movie was over, they quickly pulled their hands apart while Cam announced it was time for a snack. Eve was pleased to see celery and bell pepper strips with humus dip were offered which Mandy seemed to love. ‘No fatty chips here,’ she thought.

After the snacks, Cam told Mandy to go lie down for a few minutes to rest before dinner.

“But I don’t wanna nap. I wanna play with Eve.”

“Honey, I’m sure all your daddy wants is for you to rest so you’ll be able to play after dinner. No nap required, right?”

Cam shook his head ‘no’ and with obvious reluctance, Mandy toddled off to her room. Cam and Eve took the opportunity to have a small glass of wine while speaking softly. When she needed to use the bathroom, she heard the obvious snores of an exhausted little girl coming from the bedroom.

“She seems to have fallen asleep.”

“Doesn’t surprise me. My only concern is how long it will be before that little trick doesn’t work.”

“Probably in another year or so a full nap won’t be needed but even in kindergarten and first grade the teachers still have a quiet time in the early afternoon. Little growing kids need to recharge their batteries.”

“I know and dads need thirty minutes to regain their sanity,” he chuckled. “So, how are classes going?”

For nearly an hour their conversation zipped from one topic to another. They complained about the bozo mayor and city council’s attempt to sell a favorite park for condo development and agreed with some of the newer laws from the state house. As he gave her more information about his job and responsibilities, she realized he must be highly regarded in his field and there was nothing sexier than a man in control.

That last thought startled her. Sure, there had been some primal attraction to him but the stark realization of his sexiness threw her a little. ‘He could be worth going after,’ she thought. ‘I wonder what he’s like in bed? Will he ever decide to come after me?’

“Eve, did you hear what I asked?” His question startled her from her own thoughts.

“Uh, no, sorry, my mind was drifting somewhere else.”

“I’m that interesting, huh?” he said with a fake pout.

“You’ve learned to pout from the best of them, haven’t you?”

“Yeah, little girls have it down to a fine art. Anyway, I was wondering if you’d be interested in another adults-only date sometime.”

“Yes, I do believe…”

“Eve! Let’s play some more,” interrupted Mandy from the door.

“Maybe in a few minutes but now that you’ve rested, your daddy and I need to make dinner.”

“No, you go ahead. I’ve got dinner already prepared and ready to pop in the oven.”

“Goody!” Eve’s hand was grabbed as she was dragged back into the bedroom for another round of make believe. As she sat there with Mandy, Eve realized Mandy was like the little sister she’d never had. Playing with her was fun and she enjoyed the opportunity to drop little lessons and bits of information in the middle of their play.

While Mandy got ready for bed after dinner, the two adults worked together to quickly clean up in the kitchen. As they were wrapping things up, Mandy returned wearing her warm jammies and demanding Eve read her a story.

“Brush your teeth?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Let me see. Hmm, looks good. Did you go potty?”

“Uh-huh.”

“OK, Eve will read you a story but it has to be a short one. She needs to go home and get her own sleep, OK, Munchkin?”

“Yes, Daddy. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Kiddo. And tell her thank you for reading a story, OK?”

In her bedroom, Mandy went to a bookshelf and pulled out a thick book with a unique cover which Eve recognized from her own childhood. It contained dozens of old stories and fairytales which were slowly fading in popularity now that kids had so many more games and electronic devices to occupy their minds. It pleased her Mandy still enjoyed a good story.

“What story do you want?”

“You choose.”

“OK, give me a sec…oh, here’s one that I remember. It’s fun and tells the story about the littlest clown in the circus.”

“Wead it! Wead it!”

“What do you say?”

“Pwease.”

“OK. So here goes. Once upon a time…”

Mandy barely made it through the short story. Her droopy eyes barely kept open and once the story was over, Eve tucked her in and dropped a tiny kiss on her forehead. “Goodnight, Mandy, sleep tight.”

“Night, Mommy,” came the mumbled response.

Eve stood there stunned for a few seconds before she could even move. The remark must have been some deeply ingrained response to a woman reading to her. Surely the little girl didn’t believe Eve was her mother, right? She knew Mandy wanted a mother but this, this wasn’t some weird attempt to make her into a mother, was it? No, this little four-year-old girl was simply confused as she drifted off to sleep.

She quietly left the bedroom to find Cam working on some papers at the table.

“Asleep?”

“Yeah, zonked out.”

“Any problems?”

“None,” she answered, believing the remark about ‘Mommy’ to be nothing to worry Cam about. “Uh, I should be heading out. I’ve got a lot of studying to do tomorrow and a busy week coming up.”

“I’m sure you do. Thanks for coming over and spending time with her. That’s so sweet of you.”

“What about spending time with you?”

“Huh?”

“Don’t you want to thank me for spending time with you?” she teased.

“Of course, of course I do. Thanks.” He reached out and gave her a brief hug and as he went to back away, she grabbed his hand, pulled him gently back to her and dropped a quick kiss on his cheek, which seemed to startle him.

“I had a good time. Take care, Cam. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Eve. Drive safe.”

On the way back to her place she wondered about their relationship. It was obvious he was having an issue with anything physical. His hugs were brief, he wouldn’t kiss her and seemed almost to recoil when she kissed his cheek. It was clear he was still grieving and probably felt guilty about any minimal signs of intimacy. Still, she liked him and could see herself getting closer to him. He was, after all, a nice, handsome guy who stirred in her pelvis a warm longing and he had an adorable daughter to boot. A girl could do much, much worse.

—–

Not wanting to appear needy, Eve had the personal philosophy of never texting or calling after a date. Only if the guy contacted her would she engage in such. But it had been maddening not to hear from Cam for two weeks after their last casual dinner. She believed he wasn’t ghosting her but she wondered what might be going on. Her classes took up most of her time but in those few minutes at the end of a day, she would wonder about him, about Mandy and about her relationship with them.

Over two weeks from their last ‘date,’ if you would call it that, she got a text from him.

hi Mandys been sick

Is she ok

Y better

Flu?

some bug I’ll call 2nite

His call came in around eight. He was very apologetic for not calling but Mandy had developed a nasty GI bug and even spent a night in the hospital for I.V. fluids. She was only now getting better.

“Cam, you could have let me know and maybe I could have helped.”

“I didn’t want to risk you getting sick. I’m sorry I didn’t let you know but my mind was all on her.”

“Well, I could have at least helped with your shopping or something.”

“Yeah, I used one of the delivery services and telecommuted. Anyway, I feel bad I didn’t even let you know. You must have thought I was mad or something.”

“I was…I guess I was confused,” she admitted, “Is there anything I can help you with now?”

“Uh, the doctor says she’s no longer contagious so maybe you could come by tomorrow afternoon and bring some popsicles. She’s come to love them during her illness.”

“Sure, be glad to. What flavors?”

When she arrived the following afternoon with a bag of popsicles, she was engulfed by a pair of arms wrapped around her legs from a giggling girl still in her jammies. “You came! I missed you. I was supew sick. In the hospital. I got to see a big clown. And a faiwy! They gave me a toy viwus. It’s way bigger than a real one. I had a real one. You know what a viwus is?”

Smiling at the girl’s amazing energy, she nodded her head.

“Uh-huh. Super tiny ‘n’ they make you sick. I was poohing and poohing and had to get watuh in my vein. You know what a vein is? And they took blood fwom my vein and it huwt and…”

After hearing all about the stay in the hospital, Eve gently interrupted, “Sounds like you’re all better now and I’m glad. Which one of the popsicles do you want now? OK, here, and Daddy can put the rest away for later, OK?

“I think you could say she’s recovered,” she remarked to Cameron who was watching them with a bemused eye.

“Yeah, the last forty-eight hours have been great. Thanks for the loot. I think I’ll have to limit them to one or two a day otherwise she’ll lose her appetite.”

“Thwee a day, Daddy, pwease.”

“Munchkin, we’ll talk about it later. Now what do we say to Eve?”

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Thank you, Eve, for the popsicoos.”

“You’re welcome, Honey.”

“Hey, Mandy, why don’t you go to your room for a few minutes while I talk to Eve about grown-up things, OK?”

With her out of the room, Cameron looked at Eve with an embarrassed look. “You must hate me.”

“No, Cam, of course not. Why would I hate you?”

“Well, we had a date and I didn’t follow up. You probably thought I was mad or ghosting you or something.”

“I didn’t know what was going on and I’ll admit, I was worried. You know, I thought we were friends and…”

“And we are friends, at least I hope we still are, and I should have never treated you that way. And I’m sorry. Will you accept my apologies if I wrap them up in a dinner invite?”

“Dinner? You know the way to a starving student’s heart. Offer food and I’ll forgive almost anything,” she laughed before her voice took on a more serious tone, “But please, Cam, not again. OK?”

“I promise. I was so worried about her and…but that’s no excuse. I’ll do better next time.”

“Good, apology accepted,” she said as she went up to him, gave him a peck on the cheek and a big hug. He startled slightly before he relaxed and returned the hug briefly. “Now, when’s the starving college student get her meal, huh?”

They made plans for the following weekend before she went in to read a story to Mandy. Once the story was done, Eve got up to leave. “Eve, come back soon, OK?”

“Sure thing, Hon. Just as soon as your daddy invites me, OK?”

He ushered Eve outside and closed the door lightly behind him. “Keeps prying ears from hearing too much,” he murmured.

“What were you going to say?”

“I still feel like I need to apologize…”

“Nope. You’ve done it, I’ve forgiven you, well, pending a well-deserved meal, and we won’t need to speak of this again. OK?”

“OK. Thank you.” And Eve was stunned when he reached to her and initiated a quick hug before escorting her to her car.

‘Maybe, just maybe the ice is thawing,’ she thought as she drove back to her place, ‘And it was a pretty decent hug.’

—–

Even though she was busy the following week with an exam and a big paper to turn in, she had enough time to return his occasional texts. She was pleased he reached out to her without overdoing it. On her last text before the date when she jokingly complained she didn’t have anything nice to wear, she was thrilled at his response.

you’d look good in potato sack

Maybe he was interested in her after all!

Dinner was very nice, not quite as fancy as the last time but still good and enjoyable. She allowed herself a second glass of wine which loosened her inhibitions until she was joking and laughing with him while enjoying every second. After they ate, he invited her for a drive up to Artist’s Point, a lookout over the city. There they sat on a park bench and looked down at the city as they talked. It was fairly brisk out and she snuggled up to him until he put his arm around her. It didn’t provide much body warmth but it certainly warmed her soul.

Eventually the cold got to them both and they reluctantly drove back down to the city and to her place. He escorted her to the door and she, with some trepidation, asked, “Would you like to come in for a few minutes?”

“Ah, probably not. The sitter wanted me back pretty early and I really ought to head out. Maybe next time?”

“Sure,” she answered with a bit of disappointment in her heart, “That’d be nice.”

But as she wasn’t to be dissuaded from her goal for the evening, she took his hands in hers and moved closer until her face was close to his.

“Cam,” she said softly, “I’m going to kiss you.”

“Ah, well, you see…”

“Nope, no getting out of it,” she whispered as her lips neared his. The kiss was warm, sweet and, to her thinking, too short but it was a start. He seemed tense at first but after a few seconds he relaxed and seemed to participate.

“See? Not too painful, was it?”

“No, nice, but it’s the first time since…well…you know.”

“I’m sure it must be hard for you and if it’s too much, please let me know. But I’m fond of you, Cam, and I wanted that kiss. And, quite frankly, I’d like another.”

After a second, quicker kiss, they broke apart, he thanked her for the evening and promised to keep in touch.

And that was the beginning of their regular dating. Nearly every weekend when she wasn’t overloaded with class work, they went out together. Sometimes it was a family event such as a picnic or a trip outside the city and on those dates, they were very careful not to show any physical affection in front of Mandy. On their solo dates they became slowly closer until kissing and even some light necking was routine.

During the summer Eve got a temporary job working at a low-income clinic helping with the phones, rooming patients and being a general all-around assistant. Even though it wasn’t that challenging, she loved the work and the pay. It was four long days of work each week and she enjoyed the freedom of three free days. She even took Mandy on a few girl-girl events leaving Cameron to do his usual work.

She had been going out with him for over six months when she realized their physical relationship hadn’t progressed much beyond their make-out sessions. And she wanted more. Cameron was an amazingly handsome guy who checked a lot of boxes on her list: smart, friendly, devoted to his daughter, financially comfortable, politically similar; the list went on and on. But, she realized, he was still grieving and probably feeling guilty about their growing closeness.

When he told her Mandy was going to spend a week with his mother in a nearby town, Eve knew the time and opportunity was ripe for their physical relationship to move further. She decided she’d lead the way and if he balked, she’d have her answer and would have to back away.

“Do you have any plans for when she’s gone?”

“I might do a little work around the house. I dunno.”

“All work and no play make Cam a dull, dull boy.”

“Oh, I definitely planned on going out with you, if you’ll agree.”

“Of course, I’ll agree. Let’s do something nice, OK?”

“Sure. Uh, why don’t you plan it? Surprise me.”

“I, uh, I’ve got some financial concerns and…”

“You plan it and I’ll pay.”

“You sure?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Good, a quick flight to Paris for dinner and then back. Sounds good, doesn’t it?” she laughed.

“Within reason!”

“I know, I’m just teasing. Let me think of something local and maybe I’ll surprise you.”

“Sounds good. She’ll leave next Friday afternoon and after that, you’re in charge.”

For the next few days, she thought about her options. She wanted something special and not too expensive yet something which could make it easier to seduce him. She had spent time online looking for the perfect idea when it jumped off the screen and shouted, ‘This is the perfect date.’

After calling and making the reservations, she decided to play it coy and not tell him right away. She informed him they’d be getting together Saturday afternoon. “And you’ll need some casual clothes for walking and a change for a nice dinner.”

“Now you’ve got my curiosity going. Will it be expensive? Where are we going, anyway?”

“Uh-uh, not telling you just yet. We’ll have a good time, I’m sure. And their prices are a third off on Saturdays.” At least she hoped they would have a good time.

On Saturday, when he picked her up, he made no comment about her carry-on bag and she noted he had a small bag and some clothes hanging in the back seat. They kissed warmly in the car before settling in for the drive.

“Where to?”

“Follow the instructions from my phone. You’ll see when we get there.”

“Now you’ve got me curious.”

“Good. Anticipation is good for the soul.”

Drive two blocks and turn right on Elk Street.

Twenty minutes later they were well out of the city and the instructions led them closer and closer to the foothills. She was wondering when he might realize where they were going when a dreadful thought occurred to her: What if this had been one of Cameron and Suzanne’s favorite spots or if it meant something special to them? What would she do then?

“Know where we’re going?”

“Uh-uh. Never been up here before.”

Relief surged through Eve as she began to relax.

Turn right in half a mile and your destination will be on the left.

“Patterson Resort?”

“Yup. Surprised?”

“Well, yeah. Never been here before. Heard about it, though.”

“It’s an old ranch with thousands of acres, dozens of miles of trails and, of course, the falls right outside the dining room. I hear it’s beautiful. I hope so.”

“Sounds good. We can hike a little and then change for dinner. Right?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Do they have a place to change?”

“Uh-huh,” she answered coyly, “Come on, let’s check in.”

“For dinner? This soon?”

“No, for our ‘changing room’.”

Cameron obviously figured it out at the check-in counter but didn’t say anything until they were on their way to the room.

“You got us a room!”

“Uh-huh.”

“Are we staying the night?”

“We don’t have to, but it does let us have an extra drink with dinner and not worry about driving all the way back to the city.”

She opened the door to a lovely room featuring floor to ceiling windows with a stunning view of the falls, a small seating area and a king-sized bed. Cameron looked at her with a slight frown.

“Are we sleeping together, Eve?”

“If we stay the night, we will. Let’s cross that bridge when we come to it. Come on, the trails are waiting.”

For the better part of the afternoon, they hiked up several trails including one to a beautiful little lake teeming with fish. As they sat there near the shore, the warm sun bathed them until she was feeling drowsy. She lay down beside him on the soft grass and soon heard the soft, regular breathing of a slumbering man. Though she was drowsy as well, she didn’t fall into a deep asleep but lightly dozed next to him until a screeching hawk roused her. She sat up, looked around at the beautiful scenery until her eyes came to rest on Cameron by her side.

He was the picture of total relaxation, a state she had never quite seen him in. Usually there was an underlying tension on his face, undoubtedly due to the tragedy he and Mandy had suffered. But here, here was a man of contentment and, one could say honestly, a man with very good features. He was slightly taller than average, had some nice muscle tone from his days of swimming, a hobby he still partook in occasionally, and he had a very warm, attractive face. He’d never grace the cover of GQ but he was handsome, nonetheless. As her eyes took him in, she glanced down towards his crotch only to see an enticing bulge. ‘Must be a nice dream,’ she smiled to herself as her mind drifted to her plans for the evening.

Glancing at her watch, she knew they would have to soon return to their room to get ready for dinner and more, she hoped. Her lips slowly descended to his until they were separated by a single, tiny millimeter. He still didn’t waken so she closed the gap and very lightly dropped a tiny kiss on his lips. As he stirred, she deepened the kiss until he responded, bringing his arms around her. Could he kiss! Sometimes she sensed he was tense and reserved when they had kissed in the past but here he was warm, sensual and open to her.

And as much as she would have liked to spend more time with her lips on his, she sat up and smiled down at him. “We need to think about dinner and head back.”

“You were the best alarm clock imaginable. I was confused there for a second but it was such a sweet way to wake up. Can’t I have one more?”

“Only if you insist,” she smiled down at him as she lowered her head to him for another smooch. “OK, upsy-daisy.”

“Aww, please, one more,” he teased.

“Nope, and because you’re being a bad little boy, I’m ordering the most expensive thing on the menu and a two-hundred-dollar bottle of wine,” she laughed.

“Go ahead. Order what you want. Your kisses are sooo worth it,” he chuckled as he sat up.

On the way back down the trail her mind kept going over that last little remark. It was one of the few times he had ever said anything remotely romantic to her. Sure, they had dated, they had spent time alone together, they had kissed, they even had some hot make-out sessions, most of which she initiated, and he seemed to enjoy being with her. But she had yet to hear something romantic from him until those words, ‘Your kisses are sooo worth it.’ Her heart sang and a smile remained glued on her face all the way back to the resort.

In their room she showered first and dressed while he was showering. She had struggled with her choice of clothing and decided on a nice summer suit. It wasn’t slinky and sexy but it made her look good, she thought. The skirt rode above her knees and the matching jacket was hardly bigger than a vest. Under it she wore a see-through blouse with the top unbuttoned part way down and her sexiest bra. Between her breasts dangled a couple of thin gold chains which she hoped would draw his eyes. Stay-up stockings and heels were the finishing touches.

When he emerged from the bath and changing room, he looked smashing. She had seen him in sports coats in the past but here he was wearing a dark blue summer suit with a crisp white shirt and a gorgeous tie.

“Mmm, that’s a wonderful suit.”

“Yeah, thanks. I had some help picking it out a few years ago,” he answered with a sad smile.

And dammit, there was her ghost again. How could Eve hope to ever get close to him if Suzanne’s memory was always in the room? She gave him the warmest smile she could muster. “It’s lovely. She had great taste.”

“Yeah, she did. Thank you. Dinner?” he smiled and held out his arm for Eve.

They were seated by the window overlooking the falls and watched as daylight turned to dusk and the resort lights created thousands of tiny rainbows in the mist. They split a bottle of wine, had a wonderful meal and indulged in a decadent, sherry-soaked torte for dessert.

When she stood up, she realized the alcohol was making her slightly woozy so she slipped her hand inside his arm to steady herself.

“You OK?”

“Yeah, I guess I’m not as used to alcohol as some people.”

“Here, let me…” He reached around behind her placing his arm gently across her waist. “Maybe some fresh air?”

Outside they went to the overlook where they could see the falls disappear into the depths of the small canyon below them. It was so romantic with the lights, the thundering water, the fine mist drifting up to them and his strong arm around her. Once she saw how the fine mist had moistened his lips, she reached up with her finger to gently rub them.

“You’re getting wet, Sir.”

“You, too.”

“Maybe we need to get away from the mist. Room?”

“Yeah,” came the hesitant answer.

Eve admitted to herself even if she was slightly tipsy, this is what she wanted, this is why she brought him there and this is what her body demanded. Sure, she’d been with guys in the past but she couldn’t remember a single time when she wanted one of them half as much as she desired Cameron at that moment. In the back of her mind danced a single little word which would mean so much for her if only he could break free from his grief, his sorrow and his pain.

The word was ‘love.’

They strolled hand-in-hand up to the resort, across the lobby and up the broad staircase to the second floor. At the far end, she slipped the card into the slot and opened the door, leading him into the room. The turndown service had been there leaving two little chocolates on the pillows and a half bottle of champagne in an ice bucket.

“Uh, Eve, are we staying?”

“I think it might be wise, you know, the alcohol and the long drive home this late at night.”

“Hmm. Well, I guess I’ll take the sofa while you get the bed.”

“Let’s discuss it once we’ve gotten ready for bed. You go first.”

Several minutes later he came out of the bathroom with his shirt, shoes and socks off but still wearing his slacks.

“I’ll be right back. Why don’t you wait here and open the champagne?”

In the bathroom she quickly brushed her teeth, ran a brush through her hair and slipped off her clothes down to her bikini panties. She pulled on an Asian-style short gown which came down to only mid-thigh and tied it loosely at her waist. One quick look in the mirror told her what she wanted to know: She was an attractive woman who was going to get her man.

Slowly, she opened the door. Cameron had turned down the lights and next two the bottle were two full glasses. He still had his slacks on and when he turned to her, he froze in place. Smiling at him, she walked over and held out her glass.

“Toast?”

“Uh, yeah. Uh, to an amazingly beautiful woman.”

“To an amazingly handsome and wonderful guy who will not be sleeping on the sofa. Cheers.”

After he took a sip, he cleared his throat and croaked out, “Eve, if I get into bed with you tonight, I, uh, I may not be able to resist you.”

“Good.” She cracked a thin little smile beneath her gleaming eyes. “Here, slacks off, Honey.”

“You’re sure?”

“Absolutely,” she whispered as she put her glass down and began to pull at his belt.

Once his slacks were pooled at his feet, he stepped back towards the bed. Eve had a basic idea of how he would look but the reality was far better than she had dreamed. His muscular chest was sprinkled with curly hair, hair which trailed all the way down across his tight, lean belly to his boxers. His arms were well sculpted as were his thighs. All-in-all, he rated such a high score in the looks department she wondered if she could match him.

Nervously, she took another sip of her champagne before she loosened the tie at her waist, letting the robe sag open. Even though she knew her nipples were still covered, she could see his eyes, she could almost feel his eyes as they roamed up and down over her.

“Beautiful, simply beautiful.”

“You, too,” she giggled nervously as she eyed him and a promising bulge in his shorts.

He stepped forward, pulled her lightly into his arms and whispered, “I believe I owe you a kiss from this afternoon.”

“Well, get busy if you want…” Her words were cut off as he dropped his lips to hers. This kiss was unlike all those before. This kiss was a promise. This kiss was a guarantee the night would be like none other they had ever experienced. Their lips toyed and even lightly sucked. Tongues teased and probed. Arms hugged, stroked and even pulled off her little gown before she felt his hand lazily trailing across her breasts, sending wild messages of lust to her brain and pelvis. Right as she felt her knees weaken, Cam pulled her gently to the bed.

And though she had initiated this evening and anticipated having to lead the activities, she was pleasantly surprised to see him slowly exert masculine control. She loved being equals in bed with a guy but somehow on that night, it was important for him to lead, for him to control. In the faint recesses of her mind, she realized for him to heal would require him to lead. He gently nudged her over onto her back and pulled the bikini panties slowly down her legs, staring at her like a starving man would look at a buffet table, before he crawled on top of her, his erection pinned between them.

The journey of his lips took forever to get to her neck and even longer to her breasts yet he seemed in no hurry. That starving man at the buffet table would have eaten his fill by the time Cameron’s lips even tasted her nipples. ‘Oh, God, would he just hurry up?’ screamed her lust driven mind. But there seemed to be no hurry in his actions as he agonizingly slowly drifted his kisses to her belly, her navel and below. Once he scooted lower and gently slipped her legs apart, she was incapable of speech and unable to move voluntarily but the vestiges of rational thought in her overstimulated brain exclaimed, ‘Yes, he’s going to, yes, with those fabulous lips and tongue.’

And he did! His tongue tip slipped slowly up her cleft, dragging her moisture with it. Right as it approached her clit, it slid off to one side. ‘What? Doesn’t he know?’ The tongue repeated the journey but slipping off to the opposite side. ‘Is he clueless? Dear God, hasn’t he learned anything?’ On the third trip up her cleft, the tongue stayed dead center as it approached her bundle of nerves begging to be licked, begging to be touched. But it paused, one second, two, three, then four seconds, driving her mad with lust.

When he resumed the journey, his tongue slid so slowly over her clit she could practically feel every tiny little bump, each stimulating her more and more. And again, his tongue slid up and paused before dragging agonizingly slowly across her clit. He repeated this action a few more times before she felt his finger, (or was it fingers?) slide into her and stroke across the front of her canal in time with the tongue.

After only a handful of these combined stimulations, she realized she was at the crest, at the crest of probably the biggest orgasmic wave of her life. And she fell off the crest into a sea of wild sensations such as she had never experienced before. Her voice cried out nonsensical noises, her torso bucked and writhed and her fingers gripped the sheets as the orgasm spread throughout her body. And he kept at it, slowly dragging his fabulous tongue across her hypersensitive clit time and time again.

Eventually things began to slowly recover and his licking began to overstimulate her. She brought her hands to his head and gently pulled him up, up to her lips where she gave him a deep, probing kiss before collapsing back on the sheets.

A few minutes later as she recovered, she regained the ability to speak. “I can’t believe…you can’t even imagine…you have no idea what you did to me. Phew.”

“Like?”

“Like? Are you kidding me? That was abso-fuckin’-amazing. I would say you have permission to do it over and over but if you did, I’d never walk or talk again. Come here, give me another kiss.”

They snuggled for a few minutes until she became aware of his erection. Oh, how she wanted to feel him in her! As great as her orgasm had been, she now wanted slow loving while looking her man in his eyes. She loved the feel of a man stretching her and she loved the sensation of closeness which accompanied love making.

“Roll over, my turn and I’m getting on top.”

“Uh, I’m a little out of practice.”

“Out of practice? Honey, from what I just experienced, you are nowhere near being out of practice.”

“I mean, I may not last too long.”

“Don’t worry ’bout it. The night’s still young.”

She pulled his boxers down to reveal a most attractive cock. Some cocks were simply funny looking, some were too big, some too small, some had weird curves but this one, she realized, this one was simply perfect. After giving him a couple of quick licks from base to knob, she straddled him, wetted the tip and slowly, millimeter by millimeter, slid down until she was impaled by him. The familiar stretching and fullness were somehow so much better than she had experienced previously. She felt more feminine, more womanly and even more powerful than ever before.

Letting her eyes open, she gazed down at him. His eyes were closed and he had a slight frown on his forehead but God, did he look good! He had his hands loosely wrapped around her hips as she rose up and dropped back down on him. After several more thrusts, she gently took one of his hands and led it to her breast with the unspoken desire for him to stimulate her even more. After one particularly deep plunge, she kept her pelvis glued to his and rotated in tiny circles on him, triggering in her pearl even more stimulation.

As she rubbed her clit on him, he kept stroking and teasing her nipples, stimulating her more and more. As she began to climb to that crest leading to another orgasm, he surged suddenly below her, groaning as he thrust his pelvis up towards her. Eve knew immediately he had come and as frustrating as it might have been, she wanted to reassure him and let him know it wouldn’t change a thing between them.

“I, uh, I told you I was out of practice.”

“No biggie. The night’s still young and you already treated me like a queen.”

“Still…”

“It’s nothing to get worried about. It still feels good to be on you like this.” She leaned over and offered her lips to him. They kissed for several minutes until she crawled off him and lay next to him. Words were not needed as they gently touched and kissed, touches and kisses which were so comforting and reassuring to her.

As her hand rubbed lazily up and down his belly, she bumped into a rather encouraging finding.

“See there, you’re good to go again.”

“You’re so damn sexy, how could I not be?”

“Mmm, nice. You’re in charge.”

“Me on top?”

“Sure, of course.”

She let her legs spread as he slid over between them. Instead of immediately impaling himself in her, however, he spent time kissing and fingering her until she whispered, “Are you going to play all night or get busy?”

“Want me to get busy?”

“Please.”

He rose up and with her helping his aim, slid into her. Oooh, it still felt so good to have him in her. The stretching and fullness sensations were beyond belief. He started thrusting slowly, allowing him to remain deep in her for a few seconds before pulling back. As time went on, however, his tempo slowly increased though the thrusts were still as deep and as wonderful. Eve felt her excitement rising rapidly, something which usually didn’t occur with her partner on top, but there was something about Cameron and how he thrust which sent little happy signals from her clit to her brain.

As he went faster and faster, deeper and deeper, she realized she was on the cusp of another orgasm. Her moans ricocheted around the room, her hands pulled at him and her legs found themselves wrapped around his, pulling him closer and tightly to her. For the second time of the night, she fell off into a world of total body pleasure, into a wonderful orgasm which lasted and lasted as he continued to plunge in and out.

Right as she was beginning to recover from her climax, he groaned and spasmed above her before collapsing down on her. She could feel his heart beating in his chest, his breaths tickling her neck and the perspiration on his back, all telling her he had been one busy guy, something her nether regions were certainly aware of. After several minutes he rolled off her and they lay together, fingers lightly touching and teasing each other.

She had curled up next to him and rested her head on his chest when she became aware of his breathing pattern changing. She soon realized he was probably crying. Her mind raced: surely, he was still grieving and perhaps he now felt guilty having had sex, presumably for the first time since his wife died. But what should Eve do? Talk to him? What could she even say? Ignore him? That would be cruel. Hold him? That sounded the best. She pulled herself up, kissed a few of the tears on his cheek and held him in her arms, gently reassuring him with little hugs and strokes of her hands.

After several minutes he seemed to recover, sat up and looked at her in the eye. “I’m, uh, I’m sorry if I’ve…”

“No need to be sorry. I can’t imagine what your life has been like since you lost the love of your life.”

“But I’m with you and it’s got to be upsetting that I’m thinking about her.”

“Cam, no. It’s not upsetting. It’s to be expected. Look, I wanted this. I went into this knowing of your past and I still wanted to be with you, to make love with you. And no rational sane person could expect you to suddenly erase years of your life.”

“You really did set me up, didn’t you?” he chuckled.

“Yes, and I’m glad I did. And if you are sad now and then, if you get teary or even if you get way down in the dumps, it’s OK! Believe me. I understand.”

“Thank you. Means a lot to me. Say, want some slightly warm and flat champagne?”

“Of course.”

“Then I propose a toast to the nicest person to come my way in the past year and a half. To you.”

“Thank you. And here’s to the nicest person I think I have ever met. To you.”

They swallowed their drinks before he reached over, turned off the lights and snuggled down with her in his arms.

Eve woke up the next morning having slept remarkably well. She wasn’t used to sharing a bed with anyone but found it comfortable and it was even nicer when she felt him lightly touch her during the night as he changed positions. The closeness was an unexpected though wonderful aspect of being in bed with him. She stretched quietly trying not to waken him and slid out of bed to go to the bathroom. Once she tinkled, she ran a toothbrush quickly over her teeth to rid herself of any morning mouth before going back into the main room.

She sat quietly in the chair while watching him sleep. Her mind drifted back to their day together, their dinner and the wonderful time in bed. For them having done it for the first time, she thought things went rather well. Even the tears didn’t dampen her enthusiasm and she decided she’d love to drag him to bed again and again.

Once he stirred and opened his eyes, she suddenly felt self-conscious sitting nude in the chair but when she saw his sly little grin, she started to giggle.

“Huh, I wake up and see a gorgeous woman sitting nude across from me and all she can do is laugh. What’s wrong with this picture?”

“Nothing. She didn’t know what you’d think and was relieved to see your grin.”

“Well, good. Say, uh, I’m suffering from a caffeine deficiency. How about I order us a light breakfast and then maybe we can order up some fun before we have to leave?”

“Sounds great. Bathroom’s open but there’s a toll before you go in there.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. One kiss.”

“Gladly.”

While he was in the bathroom, she ordered a house special breakfast for two with extra coffee. They were both hungry and quickly polished off the meal. Once the tray was moved over to the corner, Cam reached over to her only to have her pull back.

“Unhand me, you cad,” she laughed, “You must think I’m easy because of my dress, huh?”

“I’d say it’s your lack of dress, actually.”

“Well, if that’s all it takes, I should have stripped weeks ago. Wait, what are you doing?” she asked in mock horror as he advanced on her, trapping her in a corner.

“I’ve decided I want a little dessert and you look sweet enough to eat.”

“Oh, God, after your eating me last night, I don’t know if I could walk out of here if you did it again.”

“You didn’t like it?”

“I didn’t say that, now did I?”

“No. But right now I want to make love, a slow Sunday kind of love, like the old song says.”

“Yeah, me too.” She pulled him close and tugged him into bed. After lots of kissing, stroking and teasing, they ended up with her lying on him and riding him in a slow, leisurely manner. Her breasts dragged across his wiry hairs, her lips engaged his and his arms wrapped tightly around her lower back. The tempo and enthusiasm slowly built until they were both moaning in the throes of increasing excitement. This was no pornographic circus act; this was two lovers engaging in the oldest dance known while enjoying their own pleasure and the pleasure of their partners. After she climaxed, she continued to ride him until he too climaxed with a loud groan. She collapsed down on him, enjoying the warmth and closeness with a truly wonderful guy.

An hour and a half later, the freshly showered lovers were headed back to the city. As he drove, they spoke little, each seemingly content to think back about the weekend. As they neared the city, Cameron cleared his throat and began to speak.

“Eve, this was a fantastic weekend. And I want to thank you for thinking of it, planning it…”

“And I want to thank you for paying for it,” she chuckled.

“Yeah, sure. Glad to. Anyway, I hope I didn’t turn you off last night, you know.”

“No, not at all.”

“I, uh, I can safely say I’d like to do this again, you know.”

“Do what again?” she smiled at him.

“You know,…”

“Oh, you poor dear man. Embarrassed to say it? How about I say it? You want to go to the falls again? No? Or go for another hike? No? Oh, maybe you mean you want to get naked and have your way with me. Is that it? Yeah, I thought so. So, you want to have sex again with me?”

He nodded yes.

“Uh-uh. You gotta say it. Out loud.”

“OK, you want it out loud? Then here it is. I want to make love with you. I want to have sex with you. I want to lick you all over. I want to make you come with my tongue. I want to crawl on top of you and have my way with you. I want to screw until we’re exhausted. There, happy?”

“Happy? Damn, I want you to pull over right now and get busy,” she laughed. “OK, so we’re in agreement. More sex. Exclusive?”

“Yes, absolutely.

“But there’s one thing we need to talk about and that’s Mandy,” he went on, “She’s the center of my universe and I’ll not do anything to hurt her.”

“I know you wouldn’t, Cam.”

“She’s still pretty young and I can’t have her lose someone else in her life so I ask that we keep our relationship very loose and casual in front of her. No holding hands, no PDA, nothing. If she saw it, she’d think you and I were going to end up together and since we don’t know yet where this will lead, I think it’s best we act like we’re simply friends.”

“I couldn’t agree more. Now about sex…”

“Only when she’s not around. No sneaking into a bedroom when she’s asleep in her room. It will have to be when she’s visiting or has a babysitter, you know.”

“Good. I hope you have a lot of babysitters,” she chuckled, “I had fun last night and I’d love to do it again soon.”

“Me, too.”

For the next month, they tried to get together privately for a night and not just an afternoon quickie, but their schedules didn’t allow it. Eventually he asked one of Mandy’s friend’s mother if she’d be willing to ‘invite’ Mandy over. The lady agreed with the promise he’d return the favor some day. Eve and Cameron stayed at his place that night preferring to be quickly available in case Mandy got homesick or the mother had an emergency. Fortunately, they had a completely uninterrupted night and when Eve left in the morning, she realized how close she felt when she slept with Cameron in addition to having sex with him.

She and Cam were able to still sneak away alone occasionally but what surprised her was how much she enjoyed being with Mandy. She liked watching a ‘normal’ child grow and develop as compared to a lot of the patients she had been exposed to during the clinical sections of her schooling. And Mandy seemed to thrive on the attention. Sometimes the three of them would do things together and sometimes she would tell Cam she would come over only if she could do girl things with Mandy. Some of those visits were the most rewarding as Mandy seemed to thrive with the attention of an adult woman.

In late-August, Mandy celebrated her fifth birthday. She wanted a party desperately and Eve agreed to help Cameron host one for several of Mandy’s preschool friends. Mandy’s three grandparents were invited to attend, something which made Eve nervous. Would she be able to maintain an air of casual friendship in the questioning minds of Suzanne’s parents and his mother? Since she had already agreed to help, she didn’t feel she could weasel out at the last minute so she told herself to play the ‘friend’ to the best of her ability.

On the big day, things were chaotic with five little preschoolers running around but Eve was able to get them settled down for the present opening. Each of the girls had brought a simple gift and Eve was pleased to see how polite Mandy was in thanking each girl. Then she opened Eve’s present, a beginner’s reading book.

“Oh, Eve, wead it to us, pwease!”

“No, Mandy, I want you to read it to me!

“But I can’t wead.”

“Well, this book will help you learn. After the party you and I can work on it, OK?”

Mandy was quickly distracted by the other presents and the giggling girls who were soon in her room playing with her dolls. As Eve was picking up the dirty plates, Cameron ended up talking with Suzanne’s father Bill while watching a baseball game. Both his mother and mother-in-law volunteered to help. It was her worst fear, being cut out from the herd, and she knew questions would soon follow.

“So, Eve, how is it that you and Cam met?” asked Cam’s mother, Ellen.

“Oh, I was an elf helping Santa at the mall last Christmas and he accidentally left a bag when he went to take Mandy home. I was able to track him down and when I returned it, he offered to buy me a coffee. He’s such a nice guy, your son is, and we’ve kept in touch since then.” The last thing she wanted to do was tell them about Mandy’s Christmas wish.

“Mandy seems to like you,” said Suzanne’s mother, Louise.

“Yes, she’s adorable. I’m majoring in child psychology and it’s so fascinating to see firsthand what I’ve been learning about at the U.”

Louise went on, “Are you and Cam, uh, seeing each other?”

“Seeing each other?”

“Yes, you know, are you romantically involved?”

The question had the faintest hint of criticism and Eve knew any woman who would potentially replace this woman’s daughter would face a lot of scrutiny. “Oh, no, we’re…I guess you could say we’re socially involved. That’s all.”

“I see. Mandy seems to adore you.”

“Yes, and I adore her. Such a sweet kid who’s been through a lot. And Louise, I can’t imagine what it’s been like for you and your husband but I want you to know you have my sympathy. No one should ever have to suffer the loss of a child.”

“Why, thank you. It has been very hard for us,” she paused, fighting back some tears before going on, “Uh, so you and Cam are not an item?”

“Oh, no, no, we’re not an item. We’re friends.” ‘Friends with benefits, maybe, but I can’t tell her that,’ she thought.

Ellen jumped back in. “I’ve known my son forever and he seemed nervous around you today. I wonder if he may have feelings for you.”

“Well, Ellen, if he has, he’s never let me know.”

“You know, Ellen, I think you’re right. He did seem a little antsy,” added Louise.

“I know you two have suffered a lot, especially you, Louise, and I’m sure you want the best for Cam and Mandy. But I assure you, we are not a couple. When we get together, I spend more time with her than with him.”

That much was true. When they weren’t out together privately, most of Eve’s time was wrapped up with Mandy. But Eve knew these two women wouldn’t understand the relationship at all well. Hell, even Eve didn’t understand it, sometimes. Cam seemed to like her, he was always gracious, polite and not demanding at all. The sex was great, fabulous even, on those occasions when they could get together privately. And Eve knew deep down she had fallen for him but didn’t sense a similar feeling from him, so she wanted to minimize the strength of the relationship to these two concerned mothers and grandmothers.

Fortunately, before they could continue their interrogation, the girls came racing into the kitchen, demanding more cake.

“Now, Kiddos, we promised your parents you wouldn’t eat too much and spoil your appetite for dinner. If you’re thirsty, I can offer you some fizzy water that will tickle your noses. OK?”

“Yeah!” “Let’s!”

For the rest of the party, Eve stayed in the main room with all the girls and thereby avoiding any more interrogation from Ellen and particularly Louise. As things were wrapping up and Eve was making her way to the door, Cam said in a most casual way, “Thanks so much for your help today. I hope you got to see a lot of normal child behavior.”

“Yes, I did. Wonderful kids, all of them.” She gave Mandy a big hug and promised to help her with the new book before she turned to the door.

Ellen followed her out to the front steps. “Uh, Eve, it was so nice meeting you. By the way, Louise is a nice woman who has had a terrible loss and if she was prying too much, please excuse her.”

“I didn’t think she was prying at all.”

“Well, in any event, I think I sense a spark between you two and I wanted you to know that I approve.”

“Ellen, thank you, but your son is still struggling and quite honestly, I don’t see us being more than friends anytime soon.” ‘Well, at least anything more than a roll in the hay now and then,’ she thought sadly to herself. “It’s been nice meeting you. Take care.”

“You, too, Eve.”

—–

The next few times with Mandy were a hoot. Mandy was so excited about going to a ‘real’ kindergarten and insisted Eve help her with reading her new book. Eve was tickled at how quickly Mandy took to reading and seemed way more proficient than most kids her age.

She and Cam were able to go out together without Mandy every couple of weeks or so. They continued to have great fun in the sack where their love making seemed to bring her closer and closer to him. But she still sensed reserve on his part. He seemed to avoid discussions about his feelings and about their relationship. And the word ‘love’ was never in the conversation, at least she didn’t want to bring it up and presume they were anything more than friends with benefits. He certainly didn’t use the word, much to her slowly increasing dismay.

At Halloween Cam had asked Eve if she would stay with Mandy for the weekend as he had to attend a major conference out of town. She helped at the kindergarten Halloween party and even walked Mandy around the neighborhood for Trick-or-Treating. It was the first time she slept at their place and, per his instructions, in his bed. He had changed the sheets but his wonderful, musky aroma was everywhere in the room. She had the hardest time trying to fall asleep as she thought about him, no, as she fantasized about him and how she wanted to be with him. But she realized he was not ready for another serious relationship and she’d have to accept it and either live with it or move on. But that would hurt little Mandy, the wonderful girl she had come to love as if she were her own daughter or little sister. After several hours of tossing and turning, Eve fell into a troubled sleep.

Once he returned, Cameron privately promised Eve he’d make it up to her and made arrangements for another night at the falls. Sexual tension with thick between them as they drove up there and once they were in the room, he picked her up and threw her laughingly on the bed.

“I’ve wanted you for weeks, Girl, and now I’ve got you.”

“What are you going to do to me, Mister Tough Guy?”

“First I’m gonna take your clothes off and then I’m gonna kiss you everywhere until you beg me to stop. Then I’m gonna keep going until you scream for me to stop,” he laughed some more.

“Well, Mister Tough Guy, I guess I have no option but to submit but remember: what goes around, comes around.”

The next two hours were beyond fantastic. They didn’t merely go down on each other, they didn’t screw, they didn’t fuck. No, they made wild, passionate love until they were both beyond sated. As it grew dark outside, she lay curled up next to him with her head on his chest while enjoying the slow little brushes of his hands on her back and through her hair.

But her mind was racing. This was the perfect moment. This was the moment when true feelings should have been expressed. This was the moment she desperately wanted to hear him say the word she’d wanted to hear for weeks, months even. But she refused to say it first. He was still suffering, even after almost two years, and the last thing she wanted to do was pressure him. A few tears puddled in her eyes and as she tried to casually wipe them clear, a couple fell on his chest.

“You OK?”

“Yeah, fine.”

“Why the tears?”

“Oh, Cam, you don’t completely understand women, do you?”

“Uh, I guess not. Why?”

“We can cry when we’re happy.”

“And you’re happy? I know I am.”

“Yes, Honey, I’m happy,” she said, knowing she was telling him only part of the story. ‘Maybe I’ll go straight to hell for lying to the one man I’ve fallen in love with, but if I told the truth, well…’ she thought to herself.

The rest of the time there was wonderful and when he dropped her off at her place, he had the look of a lost puppy looking for home. She kissed him goodbye before turning to open her door.

“Eve, uh…”

“Yes?” Hope soared in her heart.

“Oh, uh, just wanted to say again how much fun I had. Thank you.”

“Me, too. You’re welcome.” As the door shut behind her, tears streamed down her face. ‘I thought he was going to say it,’ she muttered to herself, ‘But he didn’t. I guess he means more to me than I do to him.’

That night after her shower, she sat on her bed thinking about him, about Mandy and about herself. She slowly came to the realization she would have to distance herself from them, as painful as it might be. What hurt the most was how it would affect Mandy. Yeah, Eve would hurt but she would know why but little Mandy couldn’t begin to understand things. And what’s more, she would be losing the second adult woman in her young life. How would she, how could she recover?

—–

Over the next two weeks she spent time at their house on two occasions. One was fairly uneventful but on the second, Eve realized how attached Mandy had become to her. They were in her room working on Mandy’s reading while Cam was doing some light yard work outside.

“You’re doing so well with your reading! I’m proud of you.”

“Thanks. Uh, Eve?”

“Yes?”

“Do you like helping me?”

“I love helping you. You’re such a smart cookie.”

“I like you helping me, too. Daddy twies but sometimes he’s busy and can’t.”

“It’s hard taking care of you, fixing the meals and going to work. He’s a busy man.”

“I know.” Next came the dreaded words Eve had been fearing since December. “Why don’t you live here and help?”

“Oh, Sweetie, that wouldn’t work. I have to go to school, too.”

“But I want you to live here!” she sniffled.

“I know you do but it just won’t work. Here, let me give you a hug and dry your tears.” Some twenty minutes later, Mandy was sound asleep in Eve’s arms. She looked so peaceful but Eve knew the pain of losing her mother and now being with a struggling dad was so, so stressful for the little girl. She eased her way out of Mandy’s arms, pulled a small blanket over her and slipped outside.

“She’s asleep and I think I’d best be going.”

“Asleep? Really?”

“Yeah, she had a little meltdown after I told her I couldn’t live here. She should be good when she wakes up.”

“Thank you, Eve, you have no idea how much it means to me.”

“You’re welcome. Gotta run. Give me a call, eh?”

—–

When Cam asked her to come over for Thanksgiving, she almost declined. Since Cam was clearly still struggling with his grief and guilt, she had been wondering if she shouldn’t slowly distance herself from them. However, she realized it was a special holiday and she should probably go. He had invited the three grandparents which made her particularly nervous but she decided to soldier on. Fortunately, there were no pointed questions about her and once they sat down to eat, she was able to relax. Instead of any prayers, they went around the table letting each person tell what they were thankful for on that day.

Mandy told them she was thankful for Eve teaching her to read and the grandparents each mentioned personal things they were thankful for. When it was Cam’s turn, he stumbled a second before he looked at Eve and said he was thankful she was such a good example for Mandy.

No mention of their relationship. No mention of how she had helped him. No mention of his feelings for her! Eve didn’t know what she had expected but she certainly would have appreciated at least a little more personal connection. She was able to smile when he was done and before long, they were all elbow deep in turkey, dressing, yams and green beans.

After a wonderful meal, the women tidied up and fortunately, neither Ellen nor Louise asked her any probing questions. Once the football game was over, the grandparents departed, taking left-overs with them. Mandy was obviously exhausted and by seven p.m. was dragging herself off to bed.

Finally, there were the two of them.

“Wine?”

“No thanks, I had one with dinner and I’ll need to drive home pretty soon.”

“You can stay awhile if you want to.”

“Thank you but I have a wicked paper due on Monday and want to rest tonight so I can tackle it fresh in the morning.”

“Oh, that’s too bad but I get it. Say, thanks for coming over. Had fun.”

“Me, too. At least the grandmas didn’t put me through the wringer.”

“Wringer? What do you mean?”

“Oh, I don’t think I ever told you but at Mandy’s birthday, they pinned me down in the kitchen and asked about you and me.”

“What’d you tell them?”

“They wanted to know if we were ‘seeing’ each other, you know, romantically.”

“What’d you say?”

“I didn’t want to discuss our relationship with them mainly because I wasn’t sure what it was, so I deflected and said we were only friends. Your mom spoke to me privately and said she thought she saw a spark between us and that she approved.”

“She did, huh?”

“Uh-huh.”

There were a few seconds of silence when Eve decided to pursue the topic some more. “Cam, I wasn’t sure what our relationship was then and now I want to know: What is it, anyway? Our relationship?”

“I, uh, I don’t, well, uh, do you want a name for it?”

“It doesn’t have to have a name but I’d like a sense of what we are doing here.”

“Eve, you are the best thing to come into my life lately. Before you, I was a wreck and you’ve given me some reason for hope…” His voice trailed off.

“But…?”

“But, I, uh, I guess I’m still not completely over Suzanne and I…”

“Cam, you’ll never get over her, not one hundred percent. Is she, is her memory preventing you from moving on?”

“I don’t know, Eve. It’s complicated, it’s frustrating. I’m sorry but I’m just a fucking mess.”

“OK, let me tell you something. I love Mandy. She lights up my life whenever I see her. She’s a real jewel.”

“Yeah, she is, isn’t she?”

“And she needs some stability in her life. And she was partly right back then: she wanted a mommy for Christmas when the real issue was her truly needing one.

“But I’m not here talking only about her. I’m talking about us, our relationship. I’m going to tell you something, something which may or may not surprise you. Cam, I have been waiting for the day you tell me you love me because I’ve fallen crazy in love with you. I love you. I want you. I want to be with you, with you two. But I’m beginning to see that you haven’t the same feelings for me and…”

“Eve, I do like you, I like you a lot. Tons. I’m just not sure if I can ever truly love another.”

“I get it that you had a great marriage. I get it that you loved her, that you still love her. I understand. But I am not trying to get rid of her memories when I say I love you. Surely your heart is big enough to love both of us. Isn’t it?”

“I don’t know, I just don’t know.”

“Cam, I hope you don’t think I’m some kind of a pushy bitch who is demanding a ring from you. I’m not. But what I am asking is simply for some kind of a sign that there’s a possibility of a long-term future for us. Because if there isn’t, then it is best we part now, for our sake as well as Mandy’s.”

Cam sat there staring at her making no attempt to talk. After a long pause, she went on, “Honey, it looks like we need to cool it between us. It’s too painful for me and the longer I’m with you, the harder it will be on Mandy if or when this doesn’t work out. If you ever figure things out in your mind and want me in your life, in your lives, you know where to reach me. But I can’t wait forever. And though sex with you is fantastic, the best imaginable, I won’t be just your friend with benefits in the meantime. Take care, Cam.”

“No, Eve, please don’t do this to me, to Mandy. How will I explain it to her?”

“I don’t know, Cam, I just don’t know. Maybe tell her I’m super busy at college right now, which won’t be far from the truth. But please tell her she’s the best little girl on the planet.”

As she turned to leave, he came up to her and held her tightly in his arms, arms which felt so good but still somehow lacked something, something she couldn’t truly put her finger on. Slowly, she pulled herself free and stepped through the door and out of their lives.

The next few weeks were horrible. She barely functioned, but managed to keep her head above water and eke out some decent grades. But she was devastated, particularly when he didn’t try to communicate like she had hoped he would. Her life seemed suddenly so empty but she knew it was for the best in the long run, wasn’t it? Or had she made a colossal mistake by pushing him too hard?

—–

It was midafternoon on December the twenty-third, the last day at Santa’s village. Eve looked at the line of excited children and their weary parents knowing her shift would be over in less than an hour when Gretchen would take over until the village closed down that evening for the season. If she hadn’t had already promised the mall staff she’d be an elf again, Eve would have looked for other, better-paying work during the holidays. But she was a woman of her word and decided to don her Evie outfit for one final season. At least she would graduate in June and have a real job soon.

Remembering how she had met Mandy and Cameron the previous year at Santa’s Village brought renewed sadness to her. She hadn’t heard from them, from him since Thanksgiving and she missed both of them terribly but she knew in her heart of hearts, it was for the best. Cam needed more time before he could move on and find a new person in his life. Although Eve had fallen in love with him and merely thinking about him opened a raw pain in her heart, even more upsetting was knowing how painful her leaving must have been for little Mandy. She hoped Mandy would come to understand things some day and realize though it was painful for all three of them, it was the best way forward for Cam.

As she went through her duties, she had to keep reminding herself to be cheery with the youngsters as they came up to her. She would get their name and repeat it so a tiny microphone on her lapel would broadcast it into Santa’s ear bud. When the child would go up to him, he could call them by name. Most of the kids were in awe that he ‘knew’ them and their names, adding to the magic of the moment.

As she leaned over to ask a young boy his name, her eye caught a glimpse of Mandy a few places in line behind him! Her voice caught as she repeated his name before leading him to Santa. She glanced back only to see, yes, it was Mandy standing there impatiently. Eve wondered if Mandy would recognize her. The clown white face, the pigtails and the pointed fake ears did make her look different but still, she knew Mandy was a smart little girl and would probably see through the disguise.

Her heart beat faster and her nerves caused her to shake as Mandy moved up in the line. Eve glanced around the village looking for Cam but he was nowhere to be seen. ‘How could he have left her here?’ she wondered while thinking he must not have wanted to face Eve so he stepped away for a few minutes.

Then Mandy was there at the front of the line clutching in her little fist a small green and red gift bag.

“Hi, I’m Evie, Santa’s elf. Who are you?”

“I’m Mandy,” giggled the girl.

“OK, Mandy, what are you going to ask Santa for Christmas?” she asked, fearing another meltdown.

“It’s secret.”

“Secret, huh?” Eve answered, surprised Mandy’s use of the letter R was correct but relieved at the answer. “Well, you tell Santa and I’m sure he will try to bring it to you on Christmas.”

“Ho, Ho, Ho, Mandy. Come on up here and tell Santa what you want for Christmas.”

Mandy leaned over to whisper something in Santa’s ear.

“You want to do what?”

‘Uh-oh,’ thought Eve, remembering what happened the previous year.

More whispering and some giggles followed.

“Well, Mandy, usually we give toys to good girls and boys but it’s the holiday season, so sure, you can give her a gift.”

Mandy turned to Eve saying, “Daddy and me want you to have this.” She held out the bag to Eve.

“Uh, Daddy…?”

“Yes, Daddy and me. Open it.”

“Thank you, Mandy, but maybe I’ll wait until later when I’m not so busy.”

“Open it. Please!”

“Yeah, open it,” called out the boy next in line and soon several others joined in.

“OK, everybody, I’ll open it.” Out of the corner of her eye she noticed Santa had produced a phone and was aiming the camera at her. ‘What is going on?’ she wondered as her hand slid into the bag touching a card. After nervously tearing the envelope open, she pulled out the card showing a family opening gifts around a Christmas tree. She read the first simple message inside:

DEer EEv,

PLees be mi MoMee

I Luv U

Mandee

Eve’s first thought was how much Mandy had learned in the last few months. She had gone from unable to read at all to now writing a message that was fully understandable. She was so proud of the little girl. Then she read the next note.

Dearest Eve,

I knew within moments of your leaving Thanksgiving that I was an absolute fool; a fool who did not completely realize until you left what an amazingly wonderful woman you are. More importantly, this fool realized over the next weeks how much I had fallen in love with you and how much I missed you. As the days went by, I suffered being without you more and more. And Mandy has wanted you and needed you more than you can imagine. We both love you and want you in our lives forever. Please consider this most unorthodox method of communicating with you to be our way of asking if you will make us the happiest little family around by agreeing to marry me and by being Mandy’s new mom.

Love, Your Cameron

Stunned, she glanced around the mall. No Cameron!

“There’s a present inside. Open it! Open it!” Mandy cried with the impatience of an excited, little girl.

“OK, I will. I will.” She pulled out a tiny package wrapped in gold foil. After tearing off the little bow and wrapping, she opened the box. A beautiful diamond on a gold solitaire shimmered in the lights of the village. Santa’s camera clicked as the boy at the front of the line asked, “What is it?”

“It’s a ring.”

“Who gave it to you?”

“Mandy and her daddy did,” she smiled as tears started dripping down her face. He did want her! He did love her, after all! She reached out pulling Mandy close to her as she searched the area for Cam.

And there he was, stepping out from behind a pillar. God, he was so handsome! And she could tell he was nervous, anxiously waiting for an answer. There was no doubt in her mind she would say ‘yes,’ no doubt she would marry him and get a wonderful, sweet child as part of the bargain.

Looking down at Mandy, she pulled the ring from the box before handing it to her. “Yes, Mandy, I’ll be your mommy. Will you put the ring on me? Here, this finger.”

Mandy slid the ring on, Eve picked her up in a big hug and called out, “Yes, Cam, you crazy, crazy man, yes, I’ll marry you!” Cameron leapt over the picket fence and joined them in front of Santa, enveloping them in a family hug as the crowd cheered and Santa’s camera clicked.

“Did you have to do this in front of everyone?” she laughed through her tears of happiness.

“It was Mandy’s idea. I just had to get Santa on board. He’s sending me the pics.”

Remembering where she was and her job responsibilities, she turned to the line of children, “I’ll be right with you, kids.”

“Nope. You are relieved of duty for the rest of the day,” came a voice from behind her, a voice she recognized as Gretchen, the elf on the next shift, “I’m taking over now.”

“You planned this all out?” she laughed.

“Yup. Sure glad you said ‘yes’ and didn’t embarrass me and Mandy.”

“How could I say ‘no’ to the nicest two people on the planet? Oh, you two, I love you so much. I can’t wait to join your family.”

“Even with Louise? And my mom?”

“Of course. Looks like I get two new mommies in the bargain.”

“And I get a mommy for Christmas, too!” cried out Mandy to the renewed cheers of the entire Santa village.

“Don’t you mean ‘Chwismus’?”

“No, Silly, it’s Christmas. And you’re the best Christmas present ever!”

—–

Trionyx — December 2023

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