I continued, “while I’m on the subject of difficult things to talk about. Your mum says there is something on your mind that you are not talking about. I noticed a sadness wash over you last night. What’s up?”
“Nothing.” He tried to change the subject. “You are right dad it is pretty childish to be embarrassed about seeing my mum naked.”
“Especially when she has such a hot body.” I grinned.
“That’s not helping dad, it’s really not helping.” Then almost as an afterthought and slightly under his breath, he said “even if it’s true.” I smiled; ‘that’s my boy’ I thought.
We worked for a few hours more. Then we sat for a break. “So, what’s troubling you, son.”
He looked up at the trees. “Nothing.”
“Yeah right, I’ve seen it, your mum’s seen it and when I ask you, you stare into the trees. Spit it out son. Your mum and I have no problem with you being gay.” I had a feeling he wasn’t, but I wanted to flush him out.
It worked. His eyes came down from the trees. “I’m not gay dad, I’m just useless with girls.”
“But you have lots of pretty girls in your group of friends. I see them making eyes at you. I see them giggling with you. Relax, your time will come.”
“I know, dad. I’m not short of offers. I just don’t know what to do. I know I’m popular, I know I’m good looking. I’m just so afraid the girl I choose will feel let down by my lack of experience. Worse still she will laugh at me and spread stories. I have spent so much of my spare time studying I am over a year behind everyone. None of my friends are virgins, but I am.”
I didn’t know what to say. “Your time will come son.”
“Fucking brilliant, how long do I wait? This feeling of inadequacy gets worse every day not better.”
I nearly admonished him for swearing but didn’t. He kept talking. “Then I saw mum naked and all I could think about was her body. I went to bed and wanked about her. I imagined losing my virginity to my own mum. I am a pervert.”
“Slow down son, you are not a pervert. You are a teenager with a body full of hormones. It is completely normal in your position with no release that you pick on the nearest female to fantasise about.”
“Oh yeah, like you fantasised about fucking your mum.”
“Stop swearing son it doesn’t help. You are working yourself up over this instead of thinking about a solution. You are wrong, when I was your age I did masturbate over having sex with my mum. It’s normal. I wanked myself silly over that fantasy. I wasn’t as lucky as you. I never saw her stark naked.”
He smiled, “you bloody pervert, dad.”
I grinned from ear to ear. “I don’t know what the solution is Harry, but let’s think about it. Try not to be so down hearted about it. I’m sure we can think of a solution and in the meantime, you can wank yourself silly thinking about your mum.”
“You are such an idiot dad but thank you. Don’t tell mum though.”
“Don’t tell mum what?”
“Any of this.”
“Sorry son, I tell your mum everything and if I have one piece of advice to you. When you find someone, you love, try very hard not to keep secrets. Don’t worry she will understand.” I could see he wasn’t happy. “She will be better than me at thinking of a solution especially from a girl’s point of view. You will just have to ‘man up’ over the embarrassment.”
That was the end of the conversation and Harry seemed a lot happier in the following week or so. He was slightly embarrassed the next day when Maddy said to him at breakfast “we will sort something Harry, don’t worry”, but he got over it quickly.
4. — What do we do? — part 1
Maddy was on her soapbox, “Bob I just don’t understand his issue. He is a lovely boy, good looking, intelligent, strong and good fun to be with. I see how girls look at him. He should just get on with it.”
“That’s the problem, Maddy. He is so popular he doesn’t want to embarrass himself. I suspect he has lied and told friends he isn’t a virgin. He is frightened he will lose so much face if everyone finds him out.” I continued to explain.
We talked for some time and in the end Maddy understood. “OK, I get it Bob, but what can we do?”
“I’m not sure but it seems the passage of time just makes things worse. Maybe we should find him an escort.”
“That did occur to me Bob, but that’s too cold and impersonal. He is so sensitive I want his 1st experience to be one of love not a quick fuck.”
I replied. “I think you are right and anyway anyone good enough for our son would be too expensive. How about your little sister, she’s single isn’t she?”
“BOB, don’t be ridiculous. I should phone her, yeah? Oh, sally would you mind coming over and fucking Harry for me please? Don’t be ridiculous.”
“I think she’d be up for it.” I sniggered. “but I know you are right really. I’ve run out of ideas, Maddy. Let’s give it some more thought.”
5. — What do we do? – part 2
After a few weeks Harry became even more moody to the extent that his studies started to suffer. He didn’t go out much but didn’t study either. It wasn’t easy seeing my son in a downward spiral.
Maddy and I talked again. “I think I may have something to do with him getting moodier, Bob.”
“I doubt it, Maddy, why is it your fault?”
“I have tried to snap him out of it, Bob. I’ve been getting a bit more ‘touchy feely’ with him, a bit flirty and showing a bit of cleavage.”
“For fucks sake, Maddy, why didn’t you ask me. I am sorry to say but I guess you have made it much worse for him. He must be more frustrated than ever.”
Maddy burst into tears. “I know Bob, I feel so stupid. What can we do? I know he has noticed me. If I stop, he is going to feel even more rejected. I’ve fucked up, haven’t I.”
“It’s not good Maddy but we will see it through. We will sort this out as a family.”
“You are a good man Bob, but I can’t go back to ‘none-flirty mum’ he is going to feel even more rejected.”
“So go forward, Maddy.” She looked at quizzically. I smiled. “Take him on a journey, give him more.” Maddy was staring at me with a blank face. Her mind was working overtime.
Eventually she said (very slowly and deliberately), “let me get this clear Bob. You want me to do more. You do know where that will lead don’t you?”
“Yes Maddy, eventually you and Harry will make love. He will become a man. Problem solved.” There was a very long silence while we both processed what i had said.
“He won’t want to.”
I replied. “Yes, he will Maddy, you know he will. You have seen the way he looks at you. He is full to the brim with raging testosterone. He would fuck a frog if he could get it to stop hopping.”
Maddy smiled. “You pratt, Bob, be serious for one minute. It’s illegal. Its morally wrong and my relationship with him will change forever. Not to mention what it will do to us. No, Bob, it won’t work.”
I knew those words meant she hadn’t written off the idea. In fact, all those reasons where why someone else might not approve, she didn’t say that she didn’t want to do it. I took a deep breath and said, “Maddy, it may be illegal, but no one gets into trouble if nobody knows. I don’t care what some people think is morally wrong, I only care what works for us. Your relationship with Harry could well become even closer.”